


I’m Not Where You Left Me

by Maiika, Thisismycanon



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Yamato | Tenzou, Angst and Porn, Angst and Romance, Blow Jobs, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 Bonding (Naruto), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Character Death, Switch Hatake Kakashi, Switch Yamato/Tenzo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:35:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 77,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23251030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiika/pseuds/Maiika, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thisismycanon/pseuds/Thisismycanon
Summary: Emotional vulnerability with Kakashi Hatake is a dangerous thread Tenzo should’ve known not to pull.  He’s learned his lesson and won’t make the same mistake again - until there’s Team 7, a new identity, and a very different Kakashi than the broken young man Yamato remembers.
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Yamato | Tenzou, Hatake Kakashi/Yamato | Tenzou
Comments: 225
Kudos: 308





	1. Taking A Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title, which I labored over for a long time, come from Dua Lipa’s lyrics to Don’t Start Now. It’s amazing how songs can finally give you that title you’ve been searching for

“Looks like now’s your chance,” Yugao said.

She captured Tenzo’s gaze under the dim bar lights. The stroke of her hand down her condensation-soaked glass was as alluring as her voice. The bar was filled tonight with the shadows of ANBU Shinobi recognizable in their gray and black uniforms, shed of their porcelain masks. Here, they drank away the horrors of their latest missions. For Team Ro, tonight’s cause for being here was different. Tenzo had yet to decide whether they were celebrating or mourning. But Tenzo had no idea why Yugao should suggest tonight was his _chance._ He gave her a look to tell her as much. In answer, she raised her chin to indicate the member of their team who’d just staggered from their post at the bar to answer to a call from another table. 

“The Captain is officially out,” she said as her eyes swept Kakashi’s back. Admiration and despondence were laced equally into her voice. “So. Are you going to make your move?”

Tenzo blinked. Then he sighed. It wasn’t easy watching the captain leave their team. Tenzo couldn’t fathom the ANBU where Sharingan Kakashi wasn’t a part of it. With Lord Hokage retiring Kakashi, Team Ro would need a new captain. Tenzo didn’t see himself for the job, however.

He shook his head. “I don’t think I’m ready to fill Kakashi-Senpai’s shoes. Lord Hokage will find the right man to head Team Ro.”

Yugao’s rosy lips spread in a grin. “It isn’t the captain’s head _or_ his shoes you’ve been staring at all night.”

Retsu leaned back on his barstool to peer youthful bright blue eyes past Yugao, laughing as he met Tenzo’s gaze. “Or these past eight years you’ve been on this team.”

Tenzo grimaced under the knowing scrutiny of his team all around him. He thought he’d been so careful. He winced, clenching his teeth and wishing for the effects of the alcohol to camouflage the embarrassment likely showing on his face. There was no use denying what they all seemed to know. He didn’t have any reason to hide it anymore.

“So you’ve noticed,” he grumbled before averting his gaze and downing another shot. He thumped his empty glass to the bar and raised a hesitant brow. “ _All_ of you?”

The confirming nods from the three surrounding him felt like ice rushing down his spine. His crush had been more transparent than he thought. Worst of all, if _they_ had all noticed, there was no way Kakashi hadn’t - unless he’d been willfully ignoring the signs, which was very possible. He was a good captain. He could’ve also very likely blinded himself to the emotions tied to Tenzo’s attraction. Tenzo at least knew his _teammates_ hadn’t picked up on the extent of his feelings for Kakashi. Either way, he knew the captain would never address the feelings beneath Tenzo’s longing looks shared over campfires and fond smiles meant solely for him. 

Tenzo had tried, but he didn’t know how _not_ to develop feelings for Kakashi. Kakashi had pulled him from ROOT and given him a new life with Team Ro. They’d been through life and death together again and again. Tenzo admired Kakashi as much for his strength as for his lean muscular form, knowing Kakashi could never see him the same way. Tenzo was a subordinate to him. He was younger and during most of his time with Team Ro, hadn’t filled out like his older comrades. But now years had passed without Tenzo realizing how much had changed. How _he’d_ changed. They were both adults. And now, with this new assignment as a jonin sensei, Kakashi was no longer restrained by the responsibility of being his captain.

Tenzo wrung his fingers around his empty glass and stared at its translucent shine. “The Captain is rather bitter about all this, don’t you think?”

It was a deflection, but a good one. Tonight was the first time Tenzo had ever seen Kakashi drink himself into a stumbling mess. Even now as Kakashi conversed with Ibiki across the bar, Tenzo could see his weight leaned heavily into the table, so unlike the captain he knew. Maybe Kakashi was rebelling. He wouldn’t say it, but the ANBU meant a lot to him. Maybe the team was celebrating on Kakashi’s behalf, but Kakashi was _definitely_ mourning.

Yugao nudged Tenzo’s shoulder. “All the more reason for you to go for it. Senpai needs someone to make him feel better.”

“What’s this I hear?” A figure in jonin blues with straight brown hair and bags beneath his eyes slid up to the bar to wrap solid arms around Yugao’s waist. “Need someone to make you feel better?”

“Not me,” Yugao said with a smile and a flush highlighting the apples of her cheeks as she leaned into the embrace. “Hi, Hayate.”

“Hayate.” Tenzo nodded. He raised a pointed brow at Yugao. “Why don’t _you_ make your move?”

Tenzo enjoyed the moment as he processed Yugao’s blossoming smile. The soft laughter of their comrades seemed to add to her embarrassment, but being the ANBU she was, Yugao rose from her seat with grace and dignity and not a single tell about what she would do next. She swept her gaze across her comrades before retrieving her porcelain mask from the empty barstool beside her.

“You boys have a good night.” She pointed the mask at Tenzo and narrowed her eyes. “I _mean_ it.”

“Yes, Senpai,” Tenzo said with a roll of his eyes.

Yugao turned into Hayate, planting a kiss against his cheek. “Come to my place?”

“Wouldn’t dream of saying no,” he murmured into her skin, just shy of Tenzo missing the words.

Tenzo gnawed his bottom lip as he watched them go. He couldn’t imagine Kakashi reacting in a similar manner if Tenzo would be daring enough to proposition him tonight. If he were to make a pass, his timing would have to be right. He would have to get straight to it, otherwise Kakashi would see it coming and refute his advances before they even came to fruition. With a groan, Tenzo dropped his head into his hands. He couldn’t believe he was thinking of going through with this crazy idea.

“Look, Tenz,” Shigoto said, cocking a thick black brow across the bar. “We all know the captain’s messed up if he’s _that_ attached to the black ops.” He sent a pointed look at Kakashi’s scowl, evident even with only a third of his face visible. “He’s not going to make this easy for you, no matter how you go about it. I recently bought him some companionship - to celebrate a mission the two of us did - and he nearly killed the poor woman. His head is - it’s not in the right place.”

“Wow, thanks for talking me up,” Tenzo murmured.

Shigoto raised a calloused hand. “All I’m saying is you can’t expect much from him. But if you’re really as hung up as the team and I _think_ you are, you have to start somewhere, right? Or at least, get it out of your system.”

Tenzo shook his head, his mouth going dry at the multitude of possibilities rapidly circulating through his mind. “I don’t even know if he likes men.”

Retsu shrugged. “We’re all ANBU here, so you know he’s at least _tried_ it. If he’s not into men,” he said with a chuckle as he raised his glass to Shigoto, “he’ll let you know, right?”

Tenzo frowned. “So you’re clearly all talking me into leaving the captain _alone_.”

“What captain?” Kakashi’s voice, smooth and acidic all at once, sounded in his ear as Shigoto raised a pointed brow at the man just returning to their group. “No one here is a Captain. Lord Third saw to that.”

In spite of his desire to hide his feelings, Tenzo couldn’t stop his fond smile from spreading across his face. “You may not be our ANBU captain anymore, but now you can be captain of another team. And you’ll always be our senpai.”

Shigoto sent Tenzo a speaking look, which Tenzo immediately washed away with a swift sip from his empty glass. He didn’t need the alcohol. He could feel the effects kicking in from his last drink. All he needed the glass to do now was convince the people surrounding him that he was more interested in his drink than what he’d just said. Unfortunately, the people surrounding him were highly trained shinobi. Judging by the looks on their faces, they weren’t fooled. Tenzo cleared his throat and avoided Kakashi’s gaze, afraid of what he might find there.

“Aw, Tenzo,” Kakashi cooed, slurring Tenzo’s name before he clapped a hand on his back. “A friend to the end.” His gaze darkened and his voice lost all humor. “Unlike some meddling people.”

“Kakashi-Senpai,” Tenzo said with a smile, trying to lighten the mood. “I think we’ve celebrated enough tonight. You, uh,” he glanced at the watchful eyes around him shining with encouragement, “you want to get out of here?”

“Yes,” Kakashi said emphatically, stepping away from the bar before doubling back to meet Tenzo’s gaze with his uncovered eye wide and bloodshot. “What? With you?”

Tenzo placed a hand against Kakashi’s back, guiding him to the exit with a gentle shove as he put on a confident smile. “Come on, please.”

“Congratulations again on your retirement, Captain!” Shigoto called after them.

Tenzo could hear Retsu join him in laughter, their voices fading as Tenzo and Kakashi moved toward the exit. No doubt, they were continuing an earlier conversation about the odds of survival for genin appointed to Kakashi’s team. It came up every time Kakashi’s ‘retirement’ was mentioned. Tenzo chose to believe that was the source of their laughter rather than the alternative that they were laughing at _his_ odds of success tonight.

When the humid air of the outdoors hit him, Tenzo was shaking his head. In the darkness, with his hand still pressed against the curve of Kakashi’s lower back, he couldn’t forget how he felt about his company. But he knew if he led with feelings, he would only chase Kakashi away. He had to keep this superficial. This one night might be all the chance he would ever get. Kakashi’s current _friendships_ were barely surviving. Tenzo had witnessed long enough Kakashi’s travels down the road of self-destruction to know tethering himself emotionally to Kakashi Hatake would only bring him down the same path. He had to keep his distance, regardless of how much he wanted to get close.

But _ohh_ did he want to get close.

The way Kakashi’s hips swayed when he was drunk was a sight to behold. His well-defined pale shoulders were bare in his uniform - probably the last time Tenzo would see him like this. Once Kakashi changed into the jonin blues, those shoulders would no longer be on display for Tenzo’s eyes. He’d only see them if he could get to Kakashi in other contexts, like he planned to do tonight. He could focus on the physical aspects of this. It would only be physical, and then ridden from his mind, if it could even happen. He swallowed down the courage he needed, knowing the probabilities of Kakashi turning him down, but needing to hear the words from him if he was to _ever_ relieve this insistent fantasy from his mind.

“Tenzo, Tenzo,” Kakashi said as he swatted away the hand on his back. “I can walk by myself.”

Tenzo’s lip quirked in a smile. Kakashi had allowed that hand to rest there all the way out the tavern doors and into the village street, after all. “Yes, Senpai.”

Kakashi turned, his brow lowered almost as low as his hitai-ate covering his other eye. His hair shone in the moonlight, looking feather-soft and touchable. Tenzo reached for it, caressing a strand that fell over Kakashi’s gray eye.

Kakashi’s eye softened as it fixed on his hand, but his tone was gruff. “Don’t call me senpai. I’m not your senpai.”

“No,” Tenzo said with a wistful sigh before taking a deep breath. “You’re not. So now that you’re a civilian…”

“You want to fuck me,” Kakashi said, his tone slightly amused, his unreadable eye fixated on Tenzo’s face.

Tenzo shouldn’t have been surprised that Kakashi knew where this was going. He wished he knew how he felt about it, though. Most likely, Kakashi didn’t _feel_ anything at all. But he had thoughts about it. And right now, those thoughts were a mystery to Tenzo, whose reaction was being closely monitored. The only way to respond in a situation like this was to be brazen. He looked Kakashi dead in the eye as he leaned into his personal space in the middle of the street.

“Would you like that?” he whispered huskily.

And _that_ was the big question. He held his breath as he waited an agonizing moment of silence for a response, but the quiver he felt rippling off Kakashi in the few places where they touched was a good first sign. If that was anything to go by, Kakashi _was_ interested. He didn’t speak, and Tenzo sensed things turning in the wrong direction, so he gave it another push in the right one. It was risky, exposing his vitals to a man as guarded as Kakashi, but body language would convey his message so much better than words.

“Would you…” he pressed his nose to the cloth-covered nape of Kakashi’s neck, breathing in his unique, earthy scent, “let me make you feel good?”

He bit his tongue short of uttering the ‘senpai’ he so habitually tacked on, knowing it would only give Kakashi an excuse to argue. Kakashi grunted, low and blunt, another unreadable tell. Tenzo touched Kakashi’s shoulder, ran his hand down his arm. Fine hairs prickled the fingertips tracing peaks and valleys of smooth muscles.

“You don’t want to get involved with me, Tenzo,” Kakashi said as his strong, warm fingers curled over Tenzo’s shoulders and pressed him firmly away. “Find someone with more to offer. I’m garbage. Even the hokage’s had enough of me.”

“Lord Third found you something that’s better for you.” Tenzo pressed his lips together, determined not to go into that. Kakashi could derail this whole thing; he was about to flee; _that_ was a conversation for another time. “Look, I’ve seen you at the memorial stone enough to know where your feelings lie.”

Obito Uchiha. Rin Nohara. The Fourth Hokage. Tenzo didn’t know which grave held Kakashi’s heart, but neither he nor his team dared to dig it up.

“But I’m a big boy,” he continued, keeping a stern gaze level with Kakashi’s watchful eye. “And I want you. Believe me when I say I won’t expect anything more from you.”

Kakashi’s muscles visibly relaxed, no longer tensed in preparation to spring away in an instant. He raised his brow, looking Tenzo up and down with scrutiny. Tenzo saw doubt in his eye, ebbing away, but beneath it and rising to the surface was a heat that excited Tenzo.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Tenzo said firmly. “I can handle it.”

A rustle of fabric was Tenzo’s only warning before the warm pressure of Kakashi’s palm was cupping his crotch through his uniform. “Are you sure...you’re a big boy?”

Kakashi’s voice, low and husky as it drew near to his ear, was enough to fuel Tenzo’s lust and give Kakashi the evidence he needed. Tension coiled in Tenzo’s belly as Kakashi fondled his twitching cock with pressure and friction, making him harden. With a roll of his eyes and a hitch of his breath, Tenzo grasped Kakashi’s gloved wrist, stilling him.

“My place or yours?”

“Yours,” Kakashi answered as his wrist fell to his side. 

He glanced sideways, looking up and down the street that seemed vacant at first glance, but Tenzo knew there were ANBU shinobi lurking on the rooftop around the corner. Two kunoichi about to step out of the restaurant at the end of the street. A cat ready to pounce on something in the bushes at their side.

“Yours is less likely to have unexpected guests.”

Tenzo tried not to roll his eyes at the slight jab to his comparable popularity in the village. “Thanks.”

All feeling of being slighted melted away with the sensation of Kakashi’s gloved hand wrapping around his palm.

“Let’s go then,” Kakashi said, searching Tenzo’s eyes with a look that begged him to reconsider. “If this is really what you want.”

Tenzo gave him a firm nod and a sultry smile, determined not to show Kakashi an inkling of the doubt he sought. They set off. Tenzo’s heart pounded furiously as they ran, leaping together across rooftops in the night. This wasn’t just a fantasy anymore. Now it would be reality, with all its gritty downfalls and bitter end that would leave it nothing more than a memory.

* * *

Tenzo really liked Kakashi’s mouth. He’d seen it before, on a mission or two gone sideways, and once when Kakashi favored an actual disguise over a henge. And Kakashi _was_ handsome with that crooked smile and that distinctive mole - his appealing looks were part of what fueled Tenzo’s relentless crush, after all. But it was the _feel_ of his mouth - on Tenzo’s skin, on Tenzo’s lips, wrapped around Tenzo’s cock as it was right now - that he couldn’t get enough of. 

He wrung his fingers through Kakashi’s wild silver hair, which was just as touchable while holding an abundance of it as it had been when caressing a single stray strand. The sight of Kakashi’s head bobbing between Tenzo’s legs would have knocked Tenzo off his feet if he didn’t have the mattress to support him. Here he’d had his doubts that Kakashi liked men, but Kakashi was giving him the best blow job he’d ever had from anyone, male or female. His methods screamed of experience. As the sensation of powerful suction and warm moisture drew Tenzo closer to his orgasm, he decided he didn’t care if this was only for one night, as long as he could enjoy this and Kakashi wouldn’t stop.

Kakashi slid his lips off with a pop and leaned back, perched on his heels, looking up at Tenzo as if reading his mind and pointedly taunting him. His tongue jutted out between swollen lips, pink and curling around the edges of his mouth, just a peek, before withdrawing.

Tenzo groaned. “Kakashi.”

He panted, determined to reach the sensation he’d been climbing toward, one way or another. When Kakashi rose to his feet and reached for the hem of his undershirt with lithe fingers, Tenzo watched with bated breath. Pale skin was revealed to his eyes, ridged with muscle and scars. As Kakashi peeled the hitai-ate from his eyes, Tenzo caught a glimpse of the red Sharingan below the shadow of silver fringe before Kakashi closed his left eye. He watched with fascination as Kakashi moved closer, climbing onto the bed with panther-like movement. 

Tenzo moved, making room for Kakashi to crawl over his body and lavish Tenzo with kisses again. He put his hands on Kakashi’s chest and ran them down his sides, feeling every inch of him while the wet muscle of Kakashi’s tongue curled around Tenzo’s sensitive flesh below his ear. His chest heaved with the desire pounding in his heart. When Kakashi’s clothed hardness rubbed against his, Tenzo seized him by the shoulders and drew him near, not willing to let him move away.

“Oh,” he hissed as he rubbed against Kakashi, frustrated by the rough friction of the clothing.

He didn’t know if he was ready. He was achingly hard, so he was more than ready in _that_ regard. He’d wanted this for so long and never thought he’d have it. Now, he didn’t know if he had the restraint to last long enough to make it good for Kakashi. He wanted Kakashi to remember this. 

Gulping for air, Tenzo started to spread his legs, but a hand stilled his left thigh. Kakashi’s lips peeled from his neck, his hot breath fanning against Tenzo’s throat as the hand on his skin moved inward and upward, coaxing a whine from Tenzo with the gentle, promising touch.

“Not like that,” Kakashi said, nipping Tenzo’s adam’s apple with sharp teeth. “If we’re going to do this, I want you inside me.”

Tenzo stopped breathing for a minute. Judging by the sharp huff of breath against his chest as the top of Kakashi’s head pressed against Tenzo’s throat, he would say Kakashi noticed. Tenzo opened his mouth to question, but when Kakashi’s hand closed around his cock, his grip hot and firm, Tenzo swallowed his words.

Kakashi chuckled. “What? Does that surprise you?”

Tenzo licked his lips and shook his head. “It excites me.”

He sat up, pushing Kakashi off and to the side on the mattress, where Tenzo was able to pin him down. Kakashi grunted and tensed at the springing impact, but when Tenzo licked a trail down the center of his abs, he relaxed and arched into the sensation. 

“You’re beautiful, Senpai,” he said before focusing his gaze down Kakashi’s waist, unable to bear seeing his reaction to the endearment he let slip.

Kakashi quietly huffed as Tenzo unfastened the buttons securing Kakashi’s pants. As Kakashi raised his hips, allowing Tenzo to peel away any fabric remaining between them, Tenzo feasted his eyes on the thick cock springing free, the plump pink tip he would have gladly taken, had Kakashi preferred the other position. As Kakashi kicked his pants away, Tenzo swept his hand through his sheets, searching for the bottle he’d pulled out when they’d first arrived here. His fingers ran across the familiar curve and he seized it before he could clumsily fumble it in his haste. A languid hum of anticipation from Kakashi spurred Tenzo forward. 

He flipped open the cap, squeezed slick oil into his palm, and slid it down the underside of Kakashi’s cock, drawing a beautiful hiss from his lips. He caressed Kakashi’s sack with his oiled palm and then moved lower, enjoying the way Kakashi’s legs spread open in wanton invitation. Tenzo’s throat went dry as he watched the expression changing on Kakashi’s face. Licking his lips, he pressed his knuckle against the puckered hole. Kakashi pressed back, eager to be filled. Tenzo obliged him. He sank his finger inside, watching the beautiful _new_ ways Kakashi’s face contorted in reaction, his eyes snapping open, his lips parting.

“More,” Kakashi rasped, narrowing his eyes until the Sharingan whirled.

Tenzo’s eyes rolled back in his head as he sank his full finger inside against tight resistance. He curled the digit, eager to coax more reactions out of Kakashi. Impatient when there wasn’t an instant change, he sunk a second finger inside. He wanted to see Kakashi writhe and beg for more. He wanted to hear him moan. He wanted Kakashi to say his name.

As Tenzo pumped his paired fingers in and out, Kakashi’s hands moved with desperation, clutching at nothing and everything. The sheets tangled between them as he grinded down to take Tenzo all the way in. The heat and tightness Tenzo felt sheathing his fingers gave him a hint of what he would experience soon. His erection was painful now, the pressure eased only by the compression between his stomach and the rumpled sheets.

“Tenzo,” Kakashi growled.

It was earnest. It was perfect. It was better than Tenzo could’ve imagined. Kakashi’s utterance of his name was a warning, a command, a desperate plea. Even if Tenzo wasn’t feeling a burning desire to bury himself inside Kakashi’s tight heat, he would’ve felt compelled to do so.

Tenzo slid up to meet Kakashi face to face, planting a firm kiss on those delicious lips. His teeth gnashed against Kakashi’s as he slid his fingers free and fisted his cock, guiding it to that tight hole. When Tenzo breached his entrance, Kakashi panted, open-mouthed against Tenzo’s lips. 

Tenzo closed his eyes and absorbed the sensations. The wet lips soft on his mouth and the overwhelming, slick pressure enveloping his cock. With every inch he sank deeper, the sensation intensified. When his pelvis met Kakashi’s ass with a slap of skin, Tenzo trembled. Kakashi let out a strangled gasp before wrapping his arms around Tenzo to pull him closer. Kakashi’s pained gasp drew Tenzo out of his temporary paralysis. He drew back before sinking into Kakashi again at a different angle, only shivering slightly as the second wave of pleasure coursed through his veins.

“Hmm,” Kakashi hummed on an exhale, clawing his fingers into Tenzo’s back, drawing him so close that not an inch of their skin wasn’t touching. “That’s better.”

Tenzo dropped his head to Kakashi’s shoulder, angling his hips to sink deeper. The new angle pulled a yelp from Kakashi, followed by a drawn-out moan. He wanted to speak endearments and encouragements about Kakashi’s fine body and the way he moved and the way he made Tenzo feel, but he kept his lips sealed, knowing how likely it was he would let slip something better kept to himself. Tenzo focused on the spot that seemed to please Kakashi the most and thrusted, basking in the immeasurable pleasure thrumming through his body.

He kept his movements just like that until Kakashi’s grip on his back was loose, his limbs like jelly and his muttering incoherent and increasingly desperate. Tenzo didn’t think he could hold out any longer. Just as he was about to tell Kakashi to cum for him, Kakashi jerked and spasmed with a moan and warm moisture coated Tenzo’s stomach. Knowing he was coated in Kakashi’s cum _did_ something to him almost as overwhelming as the physical sensations.   
  


“Kakashi,” he groaned, trembling.

With a few stilted thrusts, Tenzo’s orgasm followed, drowning him in wave upon wave of pleasure while Kakashi was coming down from his euphoria beneath him.

He rested his head on Kakashi’s shoulder again, shuddering at the aftershock coursing through him. Kakashi’s breathing was shallow and slowing. His hand moved, a light graze against Tenzo’s back, before going limp and heavy on his hip. Tenzo let his eyelids fall closed. He shifted his weight off Kakashi as he pulled out. Tenzo blinked his eyes open, taking a greedy look at the body stretched out beside him. He pulled the sheets between them, wiping them both clean. Kakashi’s pale skin gleamed in the rays of moonlight pouring in through the window. The scar across his eye was more pronounced in this light, as jagged as the lightning he often held in his hand. Tenzo was tempted to trace it with his finger, but his hand was too heavy. He wouldn’t want to wake Kakashi anyway. He didn’t want to risk disturbing this perfect moment. He would soak it up as long as he remained conscious, because he knew, come morning, this fantasy would end.

At length, Kakashi’s eyes blinked open in the dead of night. Tenzo might have drifted once or twice before he awoke, but he was glad to catch the sight of Kakashi waking in his bed. This was a memory he would store away, too.

Kakashi blinked at him. “Clothes?”

Tenzo frowned and withdrew his hand from the dip in Kakashi’s hip. “Oh. You want to get dressed already?”

Kakashi shot him a wry grin. “Can’t really move through the village naked.”

“Move through the village,” Tenzo murmured as realization sank like a leaded weight in his stomach. “Right. You’re leaving.”

Kakashi rolled to his side with his head tucked in the crook of his elbow, a challenging look in his hooded eyes. “You said you could handle this. Don’t tell me you were bluffing, Tenzo.”

Tenzo clenched his jaw and fought the desire to argue. He had said he could handle this. He’d said he knew what he was getting into. Kakashi had even warned him. Only, his feelings for Kakashi were heightened after this encounter, not quelled like he expected them to be. This was unexpected, but it wasn’t Kakashi’s fault.

“I wasn’t bluffing,” Tenzo said with a straight face, feeling the lie twist like a knife. “I just want you to know you’re welcome to stay as long as you need to. No need to rush off.”

“Thanks,” Kakashi said, cocking a brow before sitting up. “But I’d better go.”

Tenzo gave a curt nod and gestured to the clothes piled on the floor. He fell back into the mattress, gazing up at his ceiling as he listened to Kakashi’s movements, wondering where he had gone wrong. Wondering if his friend and ex-captain could ever feel what Tenzo felt - for anyone.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you’re regretting your decisions now,” Kakashi said on a wistful sigh, his voice carrying from the doorway. “At least if you are, you won’t have to work with me anymore.”

He left Tenzo in unsettled darkness with the click of a closing door. What Tenzo felt wasn’t regret; it was resignation. Because Kakashi Hatake was not a man anyone became close to. The danger of him lied in more than his skills as a ninja. Tenzo could close his feelings off, too. That wasn’t difficult. They’d drilled it into him enough in the Foundation. Opening up his heart was the difficult part. But he’d managed it, inspired, ironically, by the man trampling on his feelings.

And in this case, it was going to leave a scar.

Thankfully, scars toughened the skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the first time I’ve began a fic with the first chapter feeling more like the end of a relationship than the beginning 😬 
> 
> Well, the tags promised angst and smut


	2. Lapse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really enjoying the fact that this story comes from Tenzo’s perspective. It is giving me so much room to explore his experiences and the plot of Naruto from his angle. Enjoy!

As Tenzo slammed his locker shut, he frowned at the slivers of red still hiding beneath the pale white beds of his fingernails. No matter how he scrubbed the blood away, there were always traces that wanted to stay. It was as if the trauma wanted to stick with him after every mission, and especially after missions with tragic outcomes such as this one.

“Tenzo,” Retsu said, “you coming with us?”

“What?”

When Tenzo turned to them, he caught the tail-end of a wordless exchange between Retsu and Yugao. Tenzo’s mind raced to catch up with the missed conversation, but his thoughts were muddled and heavy. His chest heaved with his own frustration, but at least he wasn’t alone in his struggle. Shigoto sat on the bench, holding his head in his hands, his long, light brown hair draping between his knees. Yugao stared at the floor, her eyes showing that her thoughts were far away from the ANBU locker room, most likely back at the part of that mission where it all had gone wrong.

“The Badger was good,” Shigoto said, his voice muffled and dejected. “He could’ve been the one.”

“How many is that?” Retsu said wistfully, turning his blue eyes to the ceiling. “Four now? Dammit, this team just needs a captain to stick already.”

Yugao snapped fiery eyes to him. “It’s not like Shen wanted to die.”

Tenzo leaned back against the lockers, smashing the back of his head into the metal with a clang and burst of pain that did _something_ to ease his frustration, but not as much as he wanted. Team Ro had taken for granted how easy they had it, having the Copy Nin for their captain. What they were going through now reminded Tenzo of his days in ROOT, back when he was Kinoe. Most ANBU teams went through frequent rotations like this. A high mortality rate was in the nature of their jobs. Team Ro just wasn’t used to it.

Yugao groaned and rolled her right shoulder along the locker until she was turned to face Tenzo completely. “I miss Kakashi-Senpai.”

Tenzo clenched his jaw. He couldn’t talk about Kakashi. He turned his gaze to Retsu. “Come with you where?”

Retsu kept his eyes on the ceiling, his mind distant. “Huh?”

Tenzo cocked his head as he observed the shadows beneath Retsu’s usually vibrant eyes, the downturn of Yugao’s plump lips, the curve of Shigoto’s muscular and usually rigid back. He looked again at the red crescents tucked beneath his fingernails and exhaled. He’d missed the conversation, but it didn’t take a genius to piece together where his teammates planned to head after a mission like today’s.

“The tavern,” Tenzo supplied, catching each of his teammates’ gazes as that seemed to pull them back to the present. “Of course. But I’m going to need to report to the Hokage to debrief our mission first. I’ll meet you there around eight?”

Yugao swept past him, her floral scent wafting off her skin as she shed her dismal demeanor in an instant. “I’ll already be three drinks in, but feel free to catch up.”

“Lucky.” Tenzo snorted.

Retsu laughed and clapped Tenzo on the shoulder before following Yugao, while Shigoto rose from the bench with a groan and a long stretch. Tenzo pressed his lips together, thinking about how he would need to shower again before going out, in addition to reporting to the Hokage. It was Shen’s blood on his hands, after all. It didn’t feel respectful to report the loss of yet another ANBU shinobi to their village leader without the evidence cleansed from his hands.

When Shigoto walked toward him, the air between them grew heavy, laced with an unexpected tension, something beyond the grief they felt at the loss of another captain. Tenzo didn’t flinch. When they were shoulder to shoulder, Shigoto leaned in, his crooked nose nearly pressing against Tenzo’s cheek, his low whisper grating in his ear.

“At the hokage’s tower...you see Lord Danzo…”

Tenzō gave a terse shake of his head, not needing Shigoto to complete his sentence. “I don’t tell him anything about this. I know.”

Shigoto gave him a tight nod before moving toward the door where Yugao and Retsu left. Three more rhythmic footsteps echoed through the quiet of the locker room before Tenzo heard the light tap of Shigoto touching the door.

“He probably knows already,” Tenzo called over his shoulder.

“Oh, definitely,” Shigoto said. “But it’s better if he doesn’t hear it from _us._ ”

Tenzo gnawed his bottom lip as he listened to the quieting footsteps, the door swinging closed behind Shigoto. Lord Danzo would be a problem for Team Ro soon. Tenzo wasn’t the only one who knew it. He was the last to leave. His footsteps echoed like the pounding in his head. With every step of the way out of ANBU headquarters, his desire for reaching the part of his day where he could sit behind a bar and drink with his teammates increased.

He could only hope he’d find some semblance of pleasure there.

* * *

Even from the street, Tenzo could hear the raucous laughter from inside the tavern announcing the intoxication and reckless abandon of its patrons. He longed to join them after weary hours spent in the hokage’s office. He longed to take a _day_ to forget he was a ninja. But he was too tied to his duty, too bound by his Wood Style and people he protected here to ever seriously consider that.

This was where the tavern came in (and occasional liaisons with emotionally unavailable fellow shinobi).

Opening the door was like being transported to another dimension. The air was thick with smoke and body heat. Noise circulated all around, dampening Tenzo’s finely tuned senses to the point where he was forced to abandon his training and toss his instincts aside. This place was comfort. The only thing missing was the artificial euphoria alcohol would bring later.

He spotted, beneath the haze of smoke, the table in the corner where Yugao sat in Hayate’s lap, giggling at Retsu’s lazy demonstration of five finger fillet. Beside Retsu, Tenzo recognized Raido twirling a knife beside his ear that beamed light across the bar for the split second it captured the glow from overhead. Raido was most likely the next in line to test his luck. It seemed the majority of the ANBU were here tonight - a typical occurrence after they lost one of their own. But there were also other shinobi. Gatekeeping chunin, squads of jonin, and the entire torture and interrogation unit were here. A shiver crawled up Tenzo’s spine as he diverted away from _them_ to make his way to his team. As he passed a trio of jonin with familiar faces, Tenzo slowed. They were Kakashi’s friends from his academy days. The ones Kakashi accused of turning against him. Notably, Kakashi was absent from the group.

“I wonder if he’s ever going to embrace this. _I’m_ looking forward to it,” the kunoichi with dark hair said with a sigh.

Asuma Sarutobi, the hokage’s son, blew out smoke and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. “And you’ll do great.” He looked to their company with a frown. “Guy, don’t cry. You should be celebrating.”

Guy, the one friend of Kakashi’s Tenzo knew of who hadn’t yet allowed Kakashi to push him away, was weeping. Loudly. Tenzo gave him what privacy he could, looking away as he stretched through the thin space between tables to move away from them. Just before he reached Yugao and the others, Tenzo caught Guy’s miserable holler from behind him lamenting the name he was trying (and failing) not to think about.

“All right, I’m up,” Raido said. He looked up from his fingers splayed across the table to meet Tenzo’s eyes with a smile. “Cat.”

Tenzo returned his smile, but it felt tight. “We’re off duty here.”

“Right, uh…” Raido looked to Hayate.

“Tenzo,” Hayate said before cocking his head at Tenzo, “at least, that’s the name Kakashi’s sticking to him.”

“Speaking of being off duty,” Retsu said, swaying as he rose from his seat, “how about some sake, Tenz?”

“Sounds good.”

Tenzo sighed as he sank into an empty chair next to Retsu’s, while Retsu left the table to head to the bar. Tenzo scrutinized the array of Raido’s fingers, the grip with which he held his knife, and the bloodshot look in the ANBU captain’s eyes. When Raido met his gaze, his eyes said he knew exactly what Tenzo was thinking. But Tenzo said it anyway.

“Are you sure you want to do that?”

“ _Sure,_ ” Raido said decisively, giving a sharp nod.

As he sank the blade into the table for the first time, hitting the wood with a thunk, Tenzo caught the low murmur of Yugao and Hayate’s conversation. They were keeping to themselves, as they mostly did these days, while the rest of them interacted and eventually ventured off in their own directions, like Shigoto had already done by the time Tenzo arrived, sitting at the bar with a pretty lady. The hammering of Raido’s knife accompanied the blur of his knife hand’s succinct movements, but beneath that noise, Tenzo caught words of the lovers’ conversation. His stomach twisted in a knot when he heard Kakashi’s name. 

Always being mentioned. Always around, even when he wasn’t.

“...failed another team,” Hayate was saying as he threw a nod to the dismal jonin leaders Tenzo passed earlier.

Yugao shook her head. “I hate to question the leadership, but Lord Third should’ve never put him in that position. Kakashi-Senpai’s a killer, not a teacher.”

“A damn good one, too,” Raido murmured, gripping his knife as he looked up.

Hayate sighed and pressed his lips to Yugao’s cheek. “I don’t like knowing you’re out in the field without a competent captain to look out for you.”

“Shen wasn’t incompetent, not like the last guy,” Retsu said, hovering a porcelain carafe over Tenzo’s head before sinking back into his seat. “He was just unfortunate.”

“Like the lot of you are going to be if Lord Third doesn’t find Kakashi’s replacement fast,” Hayate turned his eyes to Raido. “Why can’t _you_ captain Team Ro?”

Raido gave him a wry smile. “Because I have my own team?”

Yugao stroked Hayate’s hair and spoke into his ear. “And you shouldn’t be talking about this here. _ANBU_ business, Hayate.”

“Right,” Hayate said, casting his frown across the table. “Sorry.”

“Let’s not talk any more business,” Tenzo said, trying to warm the atmosphere with a smile before sipping his sake. It scorched on his tongue, warmed him as it went down his throat, and soothed the churning as it settled in his stomach.

“Right,” Retsu said, clinking his porcelain against Tenzo’s, splashing his fingers with the warm liquid. “Tonight, we cut loose!”

* * *

Tenzo felt happy as he stumbled down the steps leading to the street at the end of the night. He’d stayed until last call, until long after Hayate and Yugao had retreated to their apartment, until he’d had to break away from Anko’s surly smile and wild propositions. Maybe sometime, it would be nice to cut loose with someone after a day like this, to release all his frustrations in one good hard fuck, but he didn’t think he’d even be able to get it up in this mood, or after this much alcohol, much less with a woman. And Anko Mitarashi was the _last_ person he wanted bearing witness to that humiliation. 

Well, there was one person who might’ve been worse.

Tenzo let his feet lead him while his senses he’d willingly put aside grew sharp again. Up the dark stairs to his apartment, he passed very few lights behind the closed shades of apartments where the village was mostly sleeping. He could hear the people in there if he tried, their gentle snores and shallow breaths and rustling bedsheets. It was only the ones with their lights on making sounds worth hearing. With a giggle pulled from him more by alcohol than anything else, Tenzo leaned against a wall to listen in on one such apartment. A woman called someone a pervert before something crashed inside, followed by another crash and another which sounded more like breaking glass. 

Tenzo shook his head and pushed off the wall, still laughing and giddy, until a door opened from one of the apartments ahead. He silenced himself and pressed against the wall, into the shadows, as a beautiful woman stepped out, her red lips turned down in a scowl and her long hair disheveled. She tried smoothing her hair as she looked up and down the hall. Tenzo’s breath caught in his throat when a head of silver hair emerged from behind the door. Kakashi’s mask was in place, his exposed eye dark and lifeless, just like Tenzo remembered it looking the last time they were together, like Kakashi _always_ looked when Tenzo saw him from afar lately.

“What?” the woman hissed at Kakashi, at something he’d said. She gasped and launched from his door. “Asshole.”

Tenzo watched as she sprinted down the stairs, not the ones _he’d_ taken up here, but the set on the south side of the building. Tenzo didn’t realize Kakashi lived on this floor. It was one floor below Tenzo’s apartment, which Kakashi would’ve known when he moved here, likely in the year he’d left the ANBU. Tenzo’s eyes darted to a flash of red at the stairs as the woman swung her hair over her shoulder and disappeared to a lower floor. When Tenzo looked back Kakashi’s way, Kakashi was staring straight at him with his Sharingan eye closed. His open eye was hooded, set in its usual look of boredom. He _saw_ Tenzo, Tenzo knew he did. But Kakashi only cocked his head, swept his gaze down the hall, and withdrew back into his apartment, closing the door behind him.

Tenzo tightened his jaw and shook his head. Kakashi had a hell of a way of ruining his good mood. As Tenzo resumed walking, passing the door of Kakashi’s apartment, he was tempted to pound on the door to _irritate_ Kakashi like he knew Kakashi would likely choose to irritate him. But no matter how much of an asshole Kakashi could be, to him or to random women in his apartment, Tenzo didn’t have it in him to be petty. He knew where this behavior was stemming from. Kakashi was suffering. The same darkness that chased Tenzo and tried to stick to him had swallowed Kakashi whole. He was drowning. And as much as Kakashi’s childhood friends and the Hokage were trying, it seemed there was nothing anyone could do to pull him to the surface.

At Kakashi’s door, instead of rapping his knuckles furiously like he wanted, Tenzo turned to bow his forehead into the wood. He hit the surface with one soft impact of his fist. Then he exhaled and moved on. 

Like always.

* * *

The next morning, after nursing a throbbing hangover with a natural concoction of medicine and then dressing to head out for ANBU duties, Tenzo found Kakashi right where he knew he would - at the memorial stone. He kept himself hidden, watching from a distance as Kakashi bowed his head and spoke to old teammates who weren’t there. Though Kakashi failed to acknowledge him, Tenzo doubted he was unaware of his presence. Tenzo didn’t really know why he chose to stop here on the way to ANBU headquarters. At the moment he realized how ridiculous he felt watching Kakashi, he shook his head and set back on his path. Tenzo had tried to forget about Kakashi these past two years since he left Team Ro, but it seemed he was failing. He could still try to be Kakashi’s friend. He could see Kakashi needed one, one who could understand his pain _and_ answer him.

He knew not to expect much. He told himself not to expect anything. But his Senpai needed him and Tenzo wasn’t one to abandon a comrade. He only hoped he was better at lending out hope than he was at smothering his own hopes.

If these past two years without Kakashi in his life had proven anything to Tenzo, they proved he wasn’t as good with that as he’d like to be.


	3. Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be depressing for you, given the hard times we’re going through and Tenzo’s emotions in this chapter and mentions of death - just a warning. I promise the rest of the fic won’t be this sad!

Tenzo was in the shadows. Hooded and stealthy, he made his way through the village street among all the smiling people, never noticed, not even by the jonin among them. Concealing himself was easier the louder it was, and with that jinchuriki of a child with hair bright as the sun that lit the street running around, Tenzo could probably drop his wards and _still_ remain unseen.

He sidestepped the wave of people shouldering their way through the crowd after the boy and stopped outside the ramen shop. Instinct made him stop. He sensed danger. He scouted his surroundings for any sign of aggression from the people or anything out of place on the street or in the shops. When he didn’t see anything outwardly, Tenzo began peeking _into_ the shops. On his first turn into Ichiraku, he inhaled sharply at the realization that he’d found the source. And when he saw who was inside, he released the breath just as quickly as he’d drawn it. He slipped behind the red and white noren lining the entrance to the shop. 

Of course Kakashi’s bitter anger coupled with his power _would_ trigger a sense of danger for any skilled shinobi passing him. It seemed, as Tenzo squinted at the interaction occurring inside Ichiraku, Kakashi’s anger was silent, simmering beneath the surface, but gradually rising.

His friend Guy sat beside him, rambling about his adorable new genin team while stuffing his mouth with noodles. A steaming bowl sat in front of Kakashi’s elbows bent over the bar, but Kakashi was unmoving. When Guy clapped Kakashi on the back, knocking him forward, Kakashi only grunted and side-eyed his friend. When a long moment passed with the question Guy asked Kakashi remaining unanswered, Guy swallowed and cleared his throat. His perpetual smile fell.

“Ka...kashi?” he said.

Kakashi pushed away from the bar and slid off his stool before pulling a small orange book from his pouch. “I’m not hungry.”

“But!” Guy jumped in front of Kakashi as Tenzo slipped around the corner, not risking revealing himself to Kakashi’s keen senses.

“Move, Guy,” Kakashi growled.

“But Kakashi,” Guy whined, his voice moving closer to Tenzo, prompting him to slip further behind the building. “You haven’t even responded to my latest challenge yet! And-“

“Fine,” Kakashi sighed. “You want rock-paper-scissors?”

“ _That_ again? What about the ramen competition?”

“I told you,” Kakashi grumbled, his voice moving past Tenzo, “I’m not hungry.”

“Kakashi!” Guy yelled, his voice rising. “Kakashi! I start missions with my team tomorrow! When’s the next time I’ll see you?”

Tenzo peered down the street to where Guy threw his voice to catch the slumped figure of Kakashi’s retreat from Ichiraku. Slipping through the shadows cast by the receding sun, Tenzo followed. He’d been looking for his opportunity to speak with Kakashi, and maybe this was it. Kakashi appeared to be in no mood to talk, but that was a constant with him these days. If Tenzo waited for approachability, he would never interact with Kakashi again.

Maybe that would be wise.

Kakashi’s path was leading them to the cemetery. Tenzo already recognized it, from years of watching his captain head this way, usually after picking up offerings to bring to the memorial stone. Tenzo groaned as he continued to follow from a distance, still reluctant to reveal himself. Tenzo defended his stalking to himself as a facet of his job. If Kakashi was feeling as volatile as his energy suggested, he had to be monitored closely. But Tenzo felt more curious than he should have. There was much more to this than protecting the village. He was protecting a friend.

When Kakashi turned the next corner, slipping out of Tenzo’s sight, Tenzo clenched his fingers around the cape around his front and sprang forward. He stopped short, gasping when Kakashi was gone. Kakashi wasn’t where he should have been - unless…

“What do you want?” Kakashi said from behind him, close and dangerous.

Tenzo huffed. “I’m only doing my job, Senpai.”

“Following...me?” Kakashi deadpanned. “That’s not it.”

Tenzo glanced over his shoulder to see Kakashi’s glare through the eyeholes in his mask. “How are you?”

Kakashi cocked his head, and his glare maybe softened, but his expression didn’t change much as he said, “Now _you’re_ checking up on me? If everyone in this village really thinks I’m so unstable, maybe someone should ask me to leave.”

Tenzo gave a sharp laugh. “Come on, Kakashi-Senpai. I’d be the _last_ person to ask you to leave the Hidden Leaf. You’re a legend among the ANBU now, you know.”

Kakashi snorted. “I shouldn’t be.”

“I meant what I said, though. And I want an answer.”

Kakashi smiled, his smile reaching his eyes and drawing the visible right eye into a crescent so Tenzo could see it plain. Yet just as clear as the smile, was how forced and disingenuous it was.

“I’m fine, Tenzo. Really learning to love kids.”

Tenzo laughed. Kakashi was too much sometimes. He couldn’t stand children even when he _was_ one. He’d treated the few they had to interact with on their latest missions horribly. He hadn’t treated _Tenzo_ so well when they first got to know each other. And if anything, from rumors circulating around the village, this experience of jonin leadership was only solidifying his dislike of children.

Tenzo lifted his mask so Kakashi could see his face. “Then it’s a shame you’re stuck working solo missions until the next Academy graduation, huh?”

“Yes,” Kakashi practically purred. “A shame.”

Tenzo gave him a sharp nod before dropping his mask back into place. “Take care, Kakashi-Senpai. I’m sure the right team will come along for you. Try to be patient with those kids.”

Kakashi scoffed as he squeezed Tenzo’s shoulder, his hand like a warm vice that grounded Tenzo and sent a shiver down his spine. “You keep protecting the Hidden Leaf and our Hokage. Our village depends on the ANBU.”

“Want me to say hi to the team for you?”

Kakashi hitched a shoulder. “You can do that, I guess.”

He didn’t seem interested with the way he moved on to pulling out that book again so quickly, but Tenzo was going to deliver the message anyway. Team Ro still hadn’t found a steady captain. They could use some encouragement from the man they hadn’t stopped considering their superior.

As he watched Kakashi walk away, Tenzo wanted to reach out and say more, but he squashed the inclination, knowing there was no way forward from here. There was _never_ any way forward with Kakashi. It was always the here and now or looking back.

“See ya,” Tenzo murmured, knowing even if Kakashi heard, he wasn’t listening.

Biting his lip, deciding this was as far as this conversation could go when Kakashi turned toward the cemetery, Tenzo stepped back and took his leave. He had more perimeter to guard, more dark feelings to chase. 

More shadows. There were always more shadows.

* * *

Tenzo laid on his back in bed, staring at his ceiling shadowed in blackness, listening to rain pounding on his roof. 

Growing up in ROOT as one of Orochimaru’s experiments and Lord Danzo’s tools, Tenzo had no family to miss, no friends to lose, no desire to be individualistic or noticed among his peers. Regardless of how his village-raised cohorts acted, of what he saw in _their_ expectations, Tenzo could never raise the same expectations for himself. Even his name lacked identity, only made popular by Kakashi’s insistence of its use. Tenzo didn’t even necessarily like being called Tenzo. He could just as easily go back to answering to Kinoe, or assume a new name if necessary. It didn’t make a difference to him.

So this latest loss shouldn’t have affected him like this. He’d lost the family he’d never known, seen more shinobi die in ROOT than he could count, lost so many recent captains, and lost Kakashi to his growing coldness and distance since his departure from the ANBU. 

Retsu and Shigoto’s deaths should’ve felt like more of the same. 

Maybe it was the shock of the whole thing - seeing great shinobi die when their deaths had seemed impossible. Or maybe it was holding Yugao afterward, soothing her as she mourned for them, that really made Tenzo realize the true essence of a team and what it meant to lose them. Yugao was trying to be strong - she wouldn’t speak of it again to anyone but Hayate. Honestly, Tenzo didn’t want to talk about it, either. He’d already received the hokage’s condolences and a week off duty with pay. There was no one else to talk to but the new captain whose irresponsibility he blamed for this mission’s disaster...or Lord Danzo, who knew all too well _exactly_ what had happened on that mission in the Hidden Mist.

But Tenzo wouldn’t talk to them. He would never speak of that mission again.

Anxiety crawled beneath his skin, making him want to claw and rip out these feelings he’d never experienced, or maybe only never acknowledged before. He closed his eyes, put his mind in the place it had gone to so many times before when trauma was against him and he had to play the part of the undeterred shinobi, and finally, he was able to sleep. The first night.

It didn’t get any easier the second night. He slept, but it was restless, disturbed. More nights like this followed. And when he spent his hours awake, Tenzo realized how _emptied_ his life felt. He could only spend so many hours cultivating plants and practicing new techniques with his wood release in the privacy of his apartment. He would gaze at the street below during the daytime, watching the people come and go. Most amusing was the day he caught sight of Kakashi walking with his nose in that book, leading three genin through some sort of mission the Hokage routinely put to new academy graduates. Kakashi had referred to himself as a genin babysitter during the last of their infrequent chats, suggesting Tenzo should find amusement in his position. 

Tenzo huffed a laugh to himself with his face pressed against the glass as he watched, not to laugh at Kakashi’s position, but to laugh at the absurdity of anyone considering Kakashi a genin babysitter. 

With the way things looked from up here, he was a _horrible_ babysitter. It might’ve been the first time Tenzo saw his senpai fail at something. The boys were arguing with each other, and then the girl was hitting the blonde. Kakashi didn’t engage with them while all of this was going on. He still obviously hated kids, even if, amazingly, the rumors that he’d passed this latest team were proving true. 

Kakashi leapt into a tree hanging over the path, escaping his genin and absorbing himself completely in his book from the comfort of a secure branch. Tenzo could see Kakashi’s face from his new elevation in the tree, so he cocked his head and observed as Kakashi read.

Just like the last time they’d spoken, Kakashi was as distant and aloof as ever. But also like the last time...Tenzo didn’t know if he was imagining it, but he thought he saw less tension in the lines around Kakashi’s eye and the set of his jaw. He saw something in his demeanor that looked like hope. However, Kakashi was also very good at _pretending_ to be relaxed when he was actually on full alert. Tenzo was probably attributing this to genuine ease out of wishful thinking. Kakashi wasn’t happy with his current post. He’d made that abundantly clear so many times. And if he _was_ beginning to care, Tenzo would expect him to at least have intervened when the nine-tails jinchuriki started screaming and wrestling with a clawing cat.

Tenzo didn’t envy Kakashi. He didn’t know any more about kids than Kakashi did. But as he turned back to his apartment, to the succulent sprouting proudly and the new table and chairs he’d constructed for his apartment where no one would ever come and only _he_ would ever sit, Tenzo had to admit at least it was a change of pace for Kakashi. It was something new, where there would be less death, hardship...and loneliness.

Tenzo gnawed his lip and turned his eyes to his bookshelf, also a new construction, deciding to follow Kakashi’s lead and lose himself in a book.

  
But as the hours ticked by, he realized more and more how he _needed_ something, something books and plants and fractured sleep couldn’t offer. The only person he could trust to help break from his mental prison, who could distract him in a way that he could shed these thoughts and return to duty focused, who had more experience with this than he did, was Kakashi.

He didn’t know if Kakashi would want to see him, but then he knew Kakashi couldn’t resist a good offer. He would always help a teammate when he was down. What Tenzo wanted to offer now, he knew, was more for himself than Kakashi, but if he was _using_ his friend, so be it. Tenzo had needs too, and right now, those needs were crying out for a distraction.

The perfect distraction was in the apartment just downstairs.


	4. Proximity and Distance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to do a fast update after that last chapter. So here’s some smut to brighten your day! Also, we’re at a time skip now, but after discussing this on discord, I’ve decided it’s best to skim over the period where Tenzo and Kakashi don’t see each other for the purpose of this story. HOWEVER, thinking through the plot of this really made me think about Tenzo in the early-Naruto period and where he was and what he was doing, so I’m planning on a spin-off one shot for this to go a little more into detail on that time from Tenzo’s POV.

Tenzo found Kakashi’s apartment dark and empty. He fashioned a key with his Wood Style, slotting it into Kakashi’s door and opening it as he worked his way past Kakashi’s wards. Once inside, he sat at the stark white chair beside the kitchen table and waited. His nerves rattled with both the unknown of what would happen and what he _knew_ was coming. He couldn’t hold back anymore if he tried. He reminded himself that this was what Kakashi would do, too. It was what Kakashi _had_ done, not giving a damn about Tenzo’s feelings or maintaining any semblance of a relationship afterward. Tenzo wanted to feel good. He wanted to feel better. He just...wanted to _stop feeling_ so he could move on with his duties.

So when Kakashi came home, Tenzo stood and called his name from the dark, knowing Kakashi already knew he was in here. He waited with his heart rate shooting to new heights as Kakashi drew closer, his brows knitting together with concern as he drew the hitai-ate over his silver hair and then tossed it aside.

“Tenzo?” Kakashi breathed.

Tenzo gulped. “I need you.”

“Hm?”

Tenzo slid forward, pressing himself against Kakashi, relieved when he made contact and met no resistance on his way to closing the gap. “Fuck me,” he whispered. He pressed his lips to Kakashi’s masked jawline, and when Kakashi stiffened, added, “Please.”

“Tenzo, what are y-“

Tenzo pressed his finger to Kakashi’s lips, then slid his hand up the soft fabric of his mask until he reached the edge against his cheek. “Don’t ask any questions, Senpai. I just need - I don’t want to think tonight.”

Kakashi released a shuddering breath, and as Tenzo slid the mask down, the air from his lungs batted against Tenzo’s knuckles. “Tenzo...maybe you should-“

Tenzo pressed his lips to Kakashi’s, refusing to hear the concern in his voice. He had to have imagined it. Kakashi didn’t know how to care about his old ANBU teammates, not beyond anything that involved bringing them home alive. And Tenzo was home. He was alive. He just didn’t feel alive.

The hitch in Kakashi’s breath spurred Tenzo forward, urged him to prod his tongue between those warm, wet lips. Kakashi’s lips parted for him, but his body remained tense, resistant. Tenzo stroked his hand through Kakashi’s wayward locks, coaxing him to relax with the small gesture. Begging him to comply with Tenzo’s needs. He was going to make Kakashi feel good, too. He was sure Kakashi wanted it as much as Tenzo needed it.

Kakashi pulled away from the kiss, breathless as he met Tenzo’s eyes. His Sharingan was wide open, scanning Tenzo’s face. In Kakashi’s eyes, beneath his hooded lashes, Tenzo saw something soft, like understanding and sympathy. It was something so foreign to Kakashi’s face that Tenzo gasped, furrowed his brows, and prepared to question him. But Kakashi smothered his lips with another kiss, this time hungry and open as he moved against Tenzo. His body rolled down Tenzo’s chest and his groin, reminding Tenzo of all those rippling muscles Kakashi kept hidden beneath his clothes. Kakashi’s hand smacked against Tenzo’s ass and gripped him hard, forcing their burgeoning erections together with intoxicating pressure. Tenzo moaned and thrusted, forgetting all thoughts outside of getting Kakashi and himself undressed.

Fortunately, Kakashi was ahead of him, throwing his jonin vest to the side before pulling at the hem of his undershirt. Tenzo had come here dressed for what he wanted, free of gear and extra layers. So it only took the tearing of his shirt overhead, the unfastening of his pants, and Kakashi getting down on his knees before Tenzo’s burning desire was being satisfied. Kakashi’s mouth pressed against the fabric of Tenzo’s underwear. Warm, humid breath reached him with pleasing pressure. Tenzo let his head fall back, moaned, and allowed Kakashi to tug him free of the last of his clothing. 

“I’ll give you what you need,” Kakashi murmured before wrapping his lips around Tenzo’s cock.

Tenzo growled and hunched forward, stabilizing himself on Kakashi’s toned shoulder while resisting the urge to stroke Kakashi’s hair. He didn’t want to make this too sensual, too emotional. Because that wasn’t what this was. Kakashi drew back, creating amazing suction before sliding his lips all the way up Tenzo’s cock, letting him sink deeper until Kakashi’s throat closed around his tip. Tenzo moaned at the soft pressure, the tingles racing through his sensitive nerves. They were so distracting, he almost could forget about dead teammates and blood and dark apartments and conspiring ROOT leaders. _This_ was what he needed to shed himself of his stress. 

Clenching his eyes shut, Tenzo blindly sought Kakashi’s soft spikes and tugged as soon as his fingers made purchase on tousled strands. He drew Kakashi closer, closer, needing _more sensation_. There was pain and the scrape of teeth before Tenzo looked down to see Kakashi’s mismatched eyes glaring up at him. 

Tenzo released Kakashi in an instant. His eyes bulged as his mind spewed apologies at Kakashi. He realized how much he’d let himself lose control. He’d come to Kakashi for this, not the other way around. There was no excuse for his aggressive behavior. As he opened his mouth, finally about to come out with something coherent to say, Kakashi’s eyes met his, lighting with understanding. 

With a curt nod, Kakashi parted his lips and slipped them back over the tip of Tenzo’s cock. And if that didn’t send a clear enough message about Kakashi’s intentions, any doubts Tenzo still might’ve had were wiped away when Kakashi grabbed Tenzo’s hand, guided it over his head, and with a sharp tug _encouraged_ Tenzo to pull.

Tenzo groaned, shivering at the sensation of Kakashi’s hot mouth sheathing him, at the _permission_ he’d just been given. The heated look in Kakashi’s eyes made Tenzo so hot that the moment of coherence he’d seized was lost to it. He thrusted down Kakashi’s throat, loving the way Kakashi opened for him, loving _watching_ the slide of Kakashi’s pink lips glistening against his straining member. It didn’t take long before the sensations overwhelmed Tenzo, pulling an orgasm from him so quickly he couldn’t prepare. He cried out and spurted down Kakashi’s throat until Kakashi pulled away with a sharp cough and a gasp, wiping the back of his hand against his mouth.

Tenzo’s shoulders sagged as he came down from his orgasm and realized maybe this act, this one selfless act, was all Kakashi intended to offer him. It would be selfish for Tenzo to ask for more after Kakashi had been so accommodating, but he came here to be fucked. Even though he felt exponentially better than before, there was still a gaping hole inside of him waiting to be filled. He still _needed_ more from Kakashi.

Kakashi rose slowly, cocking his head at Tenzo before leaning into him. He sniffed at Tenzo’s neck, his breath a flutter against Tenzo’s skin. Tenzo went rigid to fight off the shudder he felt building up. He had to keep his yearnings hidden from the man who had done more than enough for him already.

“Turn around,” Kakashi growled into his ear.

Tenzo gasped, realizing what this meant. “Ka-Kakashi.”

His cock twitched with renewed interest as Kakashi grabbed Tenzo’s waist and gently guided him toward the bed. Tenzo did as instructed, turning to face the bed and letting his underwear slip down to the floor. As he listened to the fastenings of Kakashi’s pants moving behind him, Tenzo looked up toward the ceiling and exhaled with relief. Whatever tension he still held was released from his body when he spilled over the bed and spread his legs, waiting for Kakashi to take him.

Kakashi hummed before warm hands and strong fingers were caressing Tenzo’s ass cheeks. “You have a beautiful ass, kohai.”

Tenzo’s eyes bulged. His cheeks burned at the compliment. “Senpai!”

“Senpai, what?”

Tenzo frowned, recognizing the taunt in that voice. “Senpai, please,” he growled.

The heat of Kakashi’s body encompassed Tenzo with the slide of skin before a hard, thick cock was rubbing between his legs, stroking his balls, teasing his crack.

“Kakashi,” Tenzo cried. “Stop teasing.”

“Oh, but I like to tease.”

“Just-“

“And you make it so easy, Tenzo.”

“Just fuck me,” Tenzo whispered into the mattress, grasping at the fabric comforter with an iron grip.

“You really do have it bad,” Kakashi murmured.

One hand fell away from Tenzo’s skin and the other caressed his ass, kneading the muscle and feeling along the curve at the bottom of his cheek. 

Tenzo heard the click of an opening cap before Kakashi said, “Well, I guess there’s nothing else for it.”

Tenzo thrusted his hips back to meet Kakashi, insisting he just get on with it. Just when he was about to give voice to his frustrations, he felt the cool moisture of lube sliding down his crack and the pressure of Kakashi’s fingers finding his hole.

Tenzo buried the side of his face into the mattress. “I should be relaxed enough to accept you after that orgasm you gave me.” He moaned at the slick sensation of Kakashi’s fingers circling his hole. “Don’t bother preparing me.”

Kakashi grunted. “You sure?”

Tenzo nodded, feeling the rub of the soft shuriken-printed sheets on his cheek. “I want it hard. Make it brutal. Make me-“

“Forget?” Kakashi guessed, but his tone said he _knew_. 

He did, and Tenzo should’ve known he would. 

News like this didn’t escape Kakashi’s notice. He _would_ know about the deaths of his old kohais. Even if they weren’t to the same level of appreciation as his childhood genin team or his current one, they had been his comrades. All of Team Ro, even Itachi Uchiha who’d abandoned the ANBU _and_ the village to the murder of his own clan, they were Kakashi’s precious people. And they’d let him down by leaving and dying. They’d let _Tenzo_ down.

Tenzo squeezed his eyes shut, stopping the welling tears in his eyes from springing forth, craving more of Kakashi’s touch. “Yes.”

Kakashi tore Tenzo open with a thrust so sudden it burned. The searing pain was nothing, nothing compared to the pain he was trying to mask. Pain he was always masking and had never been allowed to acknowledge, not in the ANBU, not for a shinobi like him. With harsh exhales that made the pain recede to a dull pressure, Tenzo welcomed Kakashi’s breach, and then there was the slide of velvet skin against his insides. 

Tenzo shuddered and arched forward as Kakashi withdrew and then sank into him again, not holding back any force, not pausing to ask if Tenzo wanted him to slow down. Tenzo spread his legs wider and felt the press of his cock against the soft comforter as Kakashi buried himself in Tenzo again with a heady moan, sinking deeper. 

There was a tug and Tenzo’s head was jerked back, lacing his scalp with pain. Kakashi’s teeth brushed against the shell of Tenzo’s ear as another thrust sent Tenzo through the roof with pleasure. Tenzo cried out and moaned as he instinctively jerked his hips forward. His knees felt like giving out beneath him. His arms trembled as he used them to hold himself up. Kakashi felt like a pillar of strength behind him, thrusting without losing rhythm, pressing Tenzo into the mattress. Tenzo tried to rise up, but Kakashi pushed him back down with a palm pressed flat between his shoulder blades. Being pinned only heightened the sensation of being fucked. As Tenzo absorbed more thrusts and the waves of pleasure that came with them, he wanted to cry.

“Fuck,” he said, jerking his hips sporadically as tension ebbed and sprang, drawing him closer to a second orgasm.

“Tenzo,” Kakashi panted in his ear, his hot breath fanning the back of Tenzo’s neck.

Hot, oiled fingers gripped Tenzo’s cock, so much better than the mattress. Tenzo pressed his hips back to feel Kakashi’s cock deep inside him and then it was the stroke of Kakashi’s fingers over his tip that finally sent Tenzo over the edge. 

He roared as he came. 

The pulsing sensation inside him, against all the nerves set on fire in his core, let him know of Kakashi’s climax filling him. Kakashi’s stroking of Tenzo’s cock didn’t slow until after Tenzo shuddered at the aftershocks coursing through his system. Kakashi’s heavy breaths against his spine grounded Tenzo, guiding him back down to Earth after an astronomical climax. He panted and hugged the bed, barely able to remember his name. Kakashi’s languid hum behind him coupled with his weight draped over Tenzo’s body were the only reasons Tenzo even remembered where he was.

When he came to, there was daylight pouring in through the slatted shades over Kakashi’s window. Tenzo turned over in bed to find himself tucked beneath the sheets and Kakashi on top of the covers beside him in his jonin blues, reading his novel.

“Morning,” Kakashi said as he flipped a page.

Tenzo sat up, aching and wary. “Did you...tuck me in?”

Kakashi pried his eye from the page to shoot Tenzo a sly smile. “You were spent.”

“Ah,” Tenzo chuckled and rubbed his head, trying to hide his embarrassment, “th-thank you, Senpai.”

Kakashi shrugged. “Well, I didn’t expect to come home to _that_ yesterday, but…”

“Yesterday!” Tenzo sprang out of bed to find he was dressed only in his underwear, though he was quick to notice the neatly folded pile of black clothing beside the bed. “Dammit, I’m going to be late for-“

“ANBU duty?” Kakashi said wistfully. He dropped the book in his lap. “Tenzo, your duty doesn’t resume until tomorrow.”

“Ah.” Tenzo caught up to realize Kakashi was right and then furrowed his brows. “Right. How do _you_ know that?”

“Let’s just say I still keep tabs on the ANBU rotations.”

Tenzo grimaced. “Senpai…”

Kakashi really hadn’t moved on. He almost had Tenzo fooled last night, with the care and consideration he seemed to offer as well as sympathy for Tenzo’s latest struggles, but if he’d really moved on, he would be wholly focused on training his genin. Tenzo shook his head and reached for the pile beside him.

“I, however, _am_ on duty today,” Kakashi said, setting his book on his nightstand.

Tenzo pulled his shirt over his head. “Oh? Solo mission today?” he said with a smile.

“No.” Kakashi turned to Tenzo with a smile beneath his mask that made his visible eye crease. “With my adorable little genin.”

Tenzo froze halfway through pulling up his pant leg. “How long have they been waiting for you?”

Kakashi shrugged and slid his feet over the opposite side of the bed. “What time is it?”

“You don’t even know-“ Tenzo fumed while hiking his pants over his rear. “What kind of a shinobi _are_ you these days, Senpai?”

“Relax, Tenzo,” Kakashi said, assuming a relaxed posture before dragging his feet toward his sandals at the door. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Like hell you do,” Tenzo said with a terse shake of his head as he fastened his pants and followed Kakashi with his eyes. “I’m surprised Lord Hokage hasn’t kicked you off the rotation for genin teams with the amount of times you’ve-“

“I never got so lucky,” Kakashi said with a sigh. “Probably because he knows I’ve been _hoping_ for that to happen.”

Tenzo laughed and he made his way to the door. “Well, I should leave so you can get to your team. They’re probably worried about you.”

Kakashi locked eyes with Tenzo, and Tenzo could’ve sworn there was a soft smile beneath that mask. “I wanted to make sure you woke up okay before I left.”

“Thank you.” Tenzo picked up his sandal, slipping his toes inside. “You didn’t have to. I-”

Kakashi pressed his hand over Tenzo’s. Tenzo looked up to meet his gaze. 

“Tenzo, I’m-” Kakashi’s jaw tightened. It was one of those rare moments Tenzo wished he could see the expression hidden beneath Kakashi’s mask. “You can come to me any time, you know.”

Tenzo winked. “You mean I can come _with_ you anytime, Senpai.”

Kakashi sputtered. Tenzo actually caught a blossom of pink spreading over the black edges of his mask. “I’m not - that wasn’t supposed to be an invitation for sex.”

Something in Tenzo’s chest clenched. He knew what Kakashi was saying the first time, but it was so much easier to evade, to let Kakashi off the hook. Hearing it reiterated by the man who used to mean so much to Tenzo until Tenzo had trained himself _not_ to let him mean anything was painful. Tenzo needed this conversation to end before it could go anywhere.

“I know. Thank you,” he said quickly, ducking his head to finish putting on his sandals, as well as to evade Kakashi’s prying gaze. “And thanks…for last night. For understanding.”

Kakashi’s eyelids lowered, making him look guarded and distant again as he quietly said, “Sure.”

Tenzo left, and outside the air felt less thick than it had the night before, less adversarial. He could take this last day of rest, knowing he would resume his ANBU duties with confidence tomorrow. He would carry on like he always did, serving the village and the Hokage.

Only, Lord Danzo had other plans for him.

That night, two ROOT agents stalked Tenzo from a night at the tavern back to his apartment building. They told him Lord Danzo needed someone to watch over the genin team with the jinchuriki, keeping a particularly close eye on the Uzumaki boy as well as the potentially volatile orphaned Uchiha. Since Tenzo had a special relationship with Kakashi Hatake and was a trusted member of the _hokage’s_ ANBU now, Lord Danzo considered him the best man for the job. Tenzo should’ve known better than to think anything about his relationship with Kakashi would escape Lord Danzo’s notice, but it still turned his stomach to know Lord Danzo was _using_ that intimate knowledge to make this decision.

Tenzo told them he would do as Lord Danzo asked. And then he did what he knew he had to do. In spite of wanting to be near Kakashi more than ever, Tenzo ceased contact. He wouldn’t even watch Kakashi from a distance. He would leave it up to Kakashi to manage the jinchuriki and Uchiha on his team along with the kunoichi, in the same way the Hokage was entrusting him. Tenzo wouldn’t risk having any knowledge of their activities, not when Lord Danzo would come to him for reports, not when Tenzo knew it would endanger the lives of Kakashi and those children.

He would offer false reports. He knew how to read Lord Danzo and manipulate his system better than any other shinobi in the ANBU, after all the close experiences they’d had. Lord Danzo was right, in one way. Tenzo _was_ the best man he could’ve chosen for this assignment. Just not the best for Lord Danzo’s interests. Eventually, Lord Danzo would realize Tenzo had nothing of value to tell him, and he would find another source, but at least Tenzo’s apparent complicity bought Kakashi and his team some time.

Tenzo never talked to Kakashi again except in passing, though he heard people speak _about_ Sharingan Kakashi often, inside and outside the village. As the years went on, Tenzo settled comfortably in his place in the organization, his role in the village. He found joy in his work, in the good he did. He found other lovers to pass the time, other teammates, he even made captain. He was sure Kakashi was moving on with his life, too, and that was good.

It was exactly what Tenzo wanted. He and Kakashi saw each other from afar from time to time, even exchanged a long, solemn glance at the Third Hokage’s funeral, but Tenzo remained a shadow among the ANBU, never stepping back into Kakashi’s life. 

Tenzo didn’t get to know Kakashi’s new team. He never saw Sasuke Uchiha any closer than he had that day from the vantage of his apartment window before the boy left the village. There was even a period of time when Tenzo stopped thinking about Kakashi Hatake altogether, until the day he wound up the subject of one of Team Ro’s missions. Tenzo couldn’t help but wonder if the Copy Nin ever knew the ANBU had been assigned to prevent a well-planned attempt to claim the high bounty on his head.

The only consistent members to remain on Team Ro were Tenzo and Yugao. Lord Danzo was always watching them, always watching _Tenzo_ . More ROOT agents were found and trained every day, shed of emotions and taught to do Lord Danzo’s bidding rather than the Fifth Hokage’s. There was no letting one’s guard down in the ANBU, ever. Especially in the early days of Lady Tsunade, the Foundation became particularly volatile. Fortunately, the Fifth seemed to have come into the village with a bond to the jinchuriki. With her and another Sannin on his side, as well as Kakashi for his sensei, the boy was in good hands without need for Tenzo’s intervention. Eventually, it _would be_ needed, because once the ANBU were turned on to the Akatsuki’s plans to hunt down jinchuriki from neighboring villages, Tenzo knew young Naruto Uzumaki was going to need all the protection he could get. 

He shouldn’t have been surprised the day he heard of Kakashi’s hospitalization upon returning from the Hidden Sand. It was far from the first time Kakashi fought to the point of chakra depletion. But when Tenzo heard that this fall was due to a run-in with Akatsuki members Deidara and Sasori, he knew Kakashi and his team were lucky to be alive. The Kazekage was saved and there were whispers of a new Sharingan ability, but this was no different from any other time Tenzo learned of Team Kakashi’s missions from afar. 

It only differed when he was summoned by Lady Tsunade and asked to act as captain for a mission that had nothing to do with the ANBU, nothing to do with _Tenzo._


	5. Team Kakashi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late addition with this note: I almost forgot to thank NeonKnight for beta reading this chapter! Without your help this wouldn’t have posted so fast. Thank you!

Team Kakashi’s mission was to head to Tenshi Bridge, capture the Akatsuki spy who infiltrated Orochimaru’s organization, and bring him back to gain intelligence on Orochimaru and Uchiha, which would eventually be used to orchestrate Orochimaru’s assasination and Uchiha’s retrieval. 

_Team Kakashi_ was a disorganized mess of squabbling teenagers.

Yamato’s understanding (because this was his name now - Yamato - and he wouldn’t answer to anything else during this mission) was that the Uchiha they sought to retrieve was the same boy who was once a part of Kakashi’s genin team with Sakura and Naruto - and Sakura and Naruto were fiercely loyal to him. 

Sai’s addition to the team felt familiar, not because Yamato had any familiarity with him from Root (his time there had ended before Sai’s began), but because of how common the practice was in the black ops. All ANBU operating under Danzo’s command looked the same as Sai. Sai had clearly mastered the dead stare and empty smile. He was all the things Yamato used to be and wanted to forget. Yamato could see why Lady Tsunade’s orders were to keep a close eye on the boy. Already on their first meeting, his threat to the success of their mission had become abundantly clear.

But now, Yamato had released the three teens for an hour to prepare and pack before setting off from the gates. He had one last order of business to attend to - a meeting with the Hokage to finalize his debriefing for this mission. 

The rendezvous point being set outside the hospital was enough of a clue to prepare Yamato for the overdue encounter he was about to have. How long had it been since he’d seen Kakashi for more than a glance, closer than across village streets? Three years? Four? Well he was going to see him _now,_ and he didn’t know how he would feel about it, given the way they’d left things.

With steely resolve, Yamato set off from his disastrous roundup of his new subordinates to the hospital. His shinobi training seemed to do wonders for his outward appearance as his hands didn’t tremble and his voice remained even while he greeted Lady Tsunade and Shizune. But on the inside, his control was slipping. 

The fluttering in his stomach wouldn’t subside. His mind set down the spiraling roller coaster of all of his past encounters with Kakashi, recalling arguments they’d had as child soldiers coming off tough missions, broody teenage brush-offs accumulating into a cohesive growing collection over the years, and two particular steamy nights that seemed to want to reside at the forefront of his mind. He didn’t miss the sideways glances the Hokage casted him as they traveled in the elevator, but she was kind enough not to broach the topic of his unease. So maybe his outward demeanor wasn’t as well-controlled as he thought. Tenzo inhaled deeply, focused on giving Shizune a smile that would distract her enough to overlook any signs he may have given off about his internal conflict, and turned his focus on the mission.

He was here to do a job, not to rekindle something that hadn’t even fully taken form.

When Lady Tsunade opened that door, Yamato felt the air leave his lungs - and he forgot to refill them. Tension spread through his body like a virus as he turned his eyes _past_ the imposing figure of the second Sannin standing by the window to the hospital bed. Kakashi’s voice had welcomed them in, but Tenzo hardly heard it. His eyes were locked on Kakashi covered in bedsheets (clearly not in his best condition), but _still_ Yamato was taken in by how attractive he looked, sitting there with his shoulders exposed, silver hair falling loose over his eyes - even that mask-covered sharp jawline made it hard for Yamato to look away. On his next breath, Yamato schooled his features into the same smile he gave Shizune, intentionally warming the room. Kakashi’s open eye widened as he looked past Lady Tsunade to take in the sight of Yamato a beat behind his forced smile.

“Long time no see, Kakashi,” Yamato said brightly.

Kakashi looked like he’d seen a ghost. “You? So.” Kakashi’s shock dissolved into boredom as he shifted his gaze to Lady Tsunade. “ _This_ is the Yamato you were talking about. Go figure.”

Yamato took a patient breath. He didn’t know what kind of acknowledgement he expected, but he expected... _something_ more. He should’ve known better, though. Not only was this reunion among mixed company over Kakashi’s sick bed, but Yamato was the one who had used him shortly before cutting off contact. Kakashi wasn’t going to become open and warm the instant Yamato waltzed back into his life on official business, not after it had taken _years_ for Yamato to pry open the tightly sealed jar that was Kakashi Hatake’s feelings.

“That’s right,” Yamato said to him, going tight-lipped and stern as he placed his hands by his sides. “While I’ll be taking over as interim captain for Team Kakashi, Yamato is going to be my code name, Sir.”

“You don’t say.”

“Which leads me to why I brought him here,” Lady Tsunade said, breaking the tension just short of Yamato grinding his teeth. “If he’s to be heading up your team, Kakashi, I want him to know _exactly_ what he’ll be dealing with.”

Master Jiraiya grunted. “What we’re about to tell you is the main reason you’ve been selected as Kakashi’s replacement.”

There was definitely something wrong with Naruto, most likely having to do with the tailed beast inside of him, judging by Tsunade’s decision to call on _him specifically_ for this mission. Beyond that, there were tensions from Lord Danzo and the village elders meddling with Lady Tsunade’s authority. Given Yamato’s knowledge of Danzo’s past attempts at interference with this team, Yamato could imagine many a problem he would need to be made aware of to stand in for Kakashi with this team. But his instincts right now told him this wasn’t about _that._

“Is this about Naruto, Sir?” Yamato asked Kakashi, because his sensibilities be damned, no matter how many people were speaking to him, he couldn’t seem to stop deferring to Kakashi.

Kakashi sighed and nodded. “Exactly. You already know that Naruto has the nine-tailed fox spirit sealed inside of him, right?”

“I do.”

“There are times,” Master Jiraiya said, “when the nine tails chakra will start to leak out of Naruto’s body and take on the fox spirit’s form. We’ve been referring to it as the nine tails cloak.”

“The nine tails cloak?”

Yamato didn’t have to _know_ what that meant to piece together how bad the implications of a _sealed_ tailed beast’s energy cloaking its host were. His eyes went wide as he scanned the strained expressions on everyone’s faces surrounding him. They’d definitely reached an alarming consensus and _they knew_ what had happened.

“My god.” Yamato gasped and turned his eyes to Kakashi. “How often has this been happening to him?”

“As recently as our last mission,” Kakashi said before averting his gaze, hiding away a rare look of sadness. “When he’s overcome by his emotions, the nine tails chakra begins to surface, engulfing his entire body and revealing the nine tails cloak. Just before the second tail formed, I was able to suppress the chakra with a seal that Master Jiraiya gave me. If I hadn’t intervened...who knows what might have happened.”

“I see,” said Master Jiraiya. “So it’s just as I feared.”

“Judging by the shape the chakra was taking,” Kakashi said, “the number of tails will probably grow, and eventually, there’ll be nine.”

“That about sums it up,” Jiraiya said.

“Master Jiraiya,” Kakashi said solemnly, “how many tails have _you_ seen?”

Jiraiya closed his eyes and hummed. The graphic reveal that followed was eye-opening. Yamato could not let his guard down for one instant during this mission, or he and his team would end up _worse_ off than Master Jiraiya. If the legendary Sannin could almost be taken down by Naruto in this cloaked form, Yamato could. The rest of the team could. And worst of all, Naruto wouldn’t even know what had happened until it was too late and he’d suffered damage as well. Two of the three Legendary Sannin were relying on Yamato’s Wood Style granted to him by the first hokage’s cells to help Naruto through this mission. Yamato didn’t want to disappoint the _third_ Sannin when it came to that.

This mission posed multiple dangers. On one side, Yamato had to battle the inter-team animosities. On another, he faced the obvious enemies of the informant and possibly Sasuke Uchiha and Orochimaru. The nine tails was another risk he never would’ve been prepared for if it hadn’t been for this meeting. 

Lady Tsunade concluded the meeting assuring Yamato that he’d been chosen specifically for his unique abilities to head this team in Kakashi’s stead, but that didn’t make Yamato feel any better about this. He’d been on tough missions before, but with this one, he almost didn’t know where to start. 

The Hokage left with Shizune, ordering Kakashi to rest, while Master Jiraiya crept out the window at the same time Yamato headed for the door. Just as Yamato grabbed the knob, grappling with the ideas of how he would force this team to work together - because they would _need_ to - Kakashi called him back.

“Can we speak alone?” Kakashi said in a low voice.

Yamato clutched the doorknob, unable to turn around. He didn’t know if Kakashi intended to further discuss the team, to fill Yamato in on more of the personalities and dynamics of his former students. He didn’t know if Kakashi wanted to rehash their past, or even address their standing for future interactions. Yamato knew there were bound to be a lot of them. Kakashi was in the hospital _now,_ but he would be released. And when he was, Team Kakashi was _his._ But Yamato knew better than to believe he would simply be sent back to his old duties. After this, after the reveal of the necessity of his abilities for corralling Naruto’s slipping control of the tailed beast, Yamato would be just as much of a necessity to Team Kakashi as _Kakashi_ was. And then, they would have to work together. The thought of it filled Yamato with excitement. 

But it also filled him with dread. 

Because not knowing where they stood, not knowing how Kakashi felt about him now, or even how _he_ felt about _Kakashi,_ gave their future interactions the potential to be more torment than reward. Yamato didn’t know if he was ready to find out which fate awaited him. He had enough on his plate, just thinking of succeeding at this mission and bringing these kids back alive.

Yamato shook his head. “Another time, Senpai. I only gave the team thirty minutes. My time is up.”

He opened the door, hearing the soft hum of Kakashi’s voice even over the creak of the hinges.

“Already having trouble with Naruto?” Kakashi asked.

Yamato hung his head and sighed. “And Sai. Sakura, too, for that matter.”

Kakashi laughed. That chuckle was rough and deep, and it went straight through Yamato’s soul. It felt like it had been ages since he last heard it. It made his heart race as he pressed his lips together and willed himself not to turn toward the sound.

“You have excellent leadership skills, Tenzo,” Kakashi said. “And there’s nothing Naruto and Sakura are willing to work at harder than successfully retrieving Sasuke. You’ll do fine.”

Yamato didn’t know about that, but he couldn’t deny that the praise helped. He shot a reserved smile over his shoulder. “Thanks...Kakashi.”

Kakashi smiled from his hospital bed, his eyes creasing. “We’ll have that talk when you come back.”

Yamato wilted into the door. He let it hold his weight as he swung it outward and stepped into the hall. He felt dizzy as he marched onward, intent on meeting with his team and pressing thoughts of Kakashi from his mind to focus on the mission at hand.

He had so many obstacles ahead of him. The greatest one would be waiting for him right here.

* * *

After a few standard exercises in training and team bonding, Yamato’s new team loved him. He was almost convinced by their praises that he made a better leader here than Kakashi. But then there was the nine tails cloak, and teammates lying to each other, and a target who didn’t want to be saved. Yamato didn’t even want to think about Kabuto or Orochimaru, or Orochimaru’s admiration of Yamato as a product of his vile experiments. He didn’t want to return to the Hidden Leaf with more problems to report than solutions. 

But he would.

Sasuke Uchiha would not return with them. Orochimaru slipped through their fingers. Naruto was becoming a greater problem with the nine tails cloak and his confidence shattered by witnessing the massive power Sasuke now wielded. And there was the issue of Danzo’s betrayal - of Orochimaru now in possession of intel on the Hidden Leaf’s current ANBU members.

Yamato had thought all of this would be hard to report to the Hokage - and it had. But that was nothing compared to what happened at Kakashi’s hospital room that night after Yamato was summoned from his apartment by Pakkun at Kakashi’s request.

“Sasuke fought you,” Kakashi said the moment Yamato entered his room.

Yamato let the door seal closed behind him and sighed. “Senpai, if you already heard what happened, why summon me here? Pakkun couldn’t have waited until morning?”

“Tell me everything.”

Yamato stared into the darkness. The sky outside the window was littered with shining specks of starlight. The only glow in the room came from a reading light perched over Kakashi’s bed and the blinking colorful lights of the hospital equipment lining the wall by his bedside. In that dim light, Yamato saw the outline of Kakashi’s messy hair, the curves of his knees rising up on either side of the book held open in his hands, the outline of Kakashi’s perfect nose beneath his mask cast in shadows.

He took the seat beside the bed and divulged everything to Kakashi as asked, starting with the hot springs trip and ending with his return to the Hidden Leaf towing a group of dejected subordinates.

“Tenzo,” Kakashi said. “There’s nothing you could’ve done to change the outcome. I doubt even _I_ could’ve convinced Sasuke to return if I’d been there. Sasuke - he’s-“

“I know.”

Yamato understood the complications surrounding the boy. He knew all about the Uchiha massacre, remembered what a shock it was when Itachi did what he did. He knew more than he wanted to about Orochimaru as well. He understood Sasuke’s decision to stay with the Sannin, in a way, though he was more impressed by Sai’s turnaround and loyalty to the team. Ironic, considering where Sai started and where Sasuke was coming from. Yamato was sure Kakashi’s feelings on the matter were...complicated, to say the least. He was only sorry he hadn’t been able to bring Kakashi’s old student back and heal some of Kakashi’s open wounds. It wasn’t like he didn’t carry enough with him already.

“So,” Yamato said, slapping his knees and cutting the tension. “Getting out of here soon?”

Kakashi slumped beneath the sheets with a groan. “Well it seems I’ll at least get to eat real food tomorrow.”

“That’s a start.”

“Tenzo?”

“Yamato,” Yamato said with a gentle smile, recognizing the solemn change in Kakashi’s tone. This was it.

“You’re really taking this code name seriously,” Kakashi teased airily, and that annoyed Yamato, because now Yamato was _ready_ to be serious.

“Do you have something to say, Senpai?”

Kakashi looked at him - looked _through_ him. His gray eye darted beneath the shadows, sweeping up and down Yamato’s face, measuring him, calculating something Yamato couldn’t gather. He still had no idea what Kakashi saw when he looked at him like that, but whatever it was, it made him back off.

He sunk further into the hospital bed with his open eye locked on Yamato. “No.”

“I see,” Yamato said, rising from his chair. “Well if I’m excused…”

“Nobody’s forcing you to be here,” Kakashi said with a lazy wave. “See you tomorrow.”

Yamato left, biting his lip and clenching his fists. On the way home, he repeated the conversation over and over again, dissecting it and trying to decipher what Kakashi meant to say.

Now it was still bothering him. He lay in bed, staring at his ceiling, wondering where he and Kakashi stood. Maybe Kakashi was as scared about having that conversation as Yamato was. Yamato would _like_ to believe that was the reason for what just happened, but it was hard, given how relaxed and confident Kakashi appeared. More than likely, Yamato was nothing more to Kakashi than an inconsequential blip among his memories. Yamato was the only one agonizing over this. He had a new team now. He had to be concerned about the Akatsuki moving in, getting closer to Naruto. There was no room for him to fret over his relationship with Kakashi.

Kakashi was acting professionally. So would he.

The next day, he set off to the hospital with that in mind. He didn’t expect news from Kakashi yet, but as a part of his team, as his _subordinate,_ Yamato felt obligated to report there.

As a part of the team - and nothing else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kakayama week is coming and I’m excited to share new works and art as well as read everyone else’s! I already have a prompt series for this ship on a different account, so if you care to follow my upcoming works (or see my works from last year’s event), here’s the link:
> 
> [Kakayama Prompts](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1361143)


	6. Things Unsaid

When Yamato opened Kakashi’s hospital door to the sound of his softly spoken permission from the other side, he was warmed by the sight of Kakashi bathed in sunlight. He was lounging leisurely in his hospital bed, sheets pooling around his abdomen, and orange book propped in his hands. His left eye was closed, but Yamato imagined the other eye, cast downward and scrolling across the familiar pages. Yamato stepped into the room, not realizing there was a smile blooming on his own face until Kakashi began turning to look at him and a surge of panic at possibly being caught welled up in him.

Movement sprang from the bed beside Kakashi’s, giving Yamato a distraction and just enough warning to step out of the way in time. A flash of orange jumped between him and Kakashi.

“Captain Yamato!” Naruto yelled, his blue eyes big and vivid this close up. “What are _you_ doin’ here?”

“Naruto?” Yamato grimaced and stepped away to put some distance between them. His eyes darted to Kakashi and back to Naruto. “I should ask you the same question. Kakashi needs _rest,_ Naruto.”

“Well,” Kakashi drawled, somehow speaking slow but fast enough to cut off Naruto’s oncoming outburst, “he’s decided to camp out here, apparently.”

“Yeah, yeah!” Naruto said over Kakashi’s _apparently._ “Kakashi-sensei’s going to train me as soon as Granny Tsunade says he’s healed, ya know!”

Yamato frowned at Naruto and crossed his arms. He wouldn’t give the boy any sign of his approval, even if he understood where Naruto’s eagerness was coming from. From Kakashi’s tired expression, Yamato could tell he still needed more rest and Naruto’s enthusiastic presence here wasn’t helping. Naruto clearly had no intentions of letting off, either. Yamato was sure that without some scolding, he wouldn’t back off from Kakashi. Even _with_ his scolding, he feared, Naruto was determined to stay.

Yamato turned a questioning look on Kakashi. “You’re training him?”

“I never agreed to that,” Kakashi said as he met Yamato’s eyes. “Naruto, didn’t Sakura say she’d be back around this time?”

“Wha-“ Naruto snapped his gaze to the far wall, where Yamato saw the clock about to strike the hour. “What, _now?_ No way! I-I was never here, okay?”

“No?” Kakashi said before relenting with a shrug. “Well, fine.”

Naruto locked wide eyes on Yamato. “Captain Yamato?”

Yamato shot a glance in Kakashi’s direction and caught the sharp hand signal Kakashi hadn’t forgotten from their ANBU days. For some reason, Kakashi wanted to get rid of Naruto quickly. Sakura most likely wasn’t even coming. Yamato’s heart thumped in his chest as he imagined the most personal possibilities of Kakashi’s need to be alone with him. But he quickly squashed that idea, knowing that was the _least_ likely scenario.

Yamato met Naruto’s eager gaze. “All right, Naruto. I won’t tell Sakura I saw you.”

“Thanks, Cap-“

“But!” Yamato propped his hands on his hips. “You need to give Kakashi some space for the rest of the day.”

Naruto deflated. “Aww! But I need to get him to agree to trai-“

“Naruto!” Yamato hardened his practiced stern expression, striking fear in the boy easily. “Kakashi’s _not_ going to be able to train you today, even if he does agree.”

Naruto stumbled back, trembling. “Okay, okay. J-just stop that, ya know!”

“Hmm,” Kakashi hummed into his open book, “is that Sakura I hear in the hall now?”

Naruto gasped. “I’m goin’, I’m goin’!”

Kakashi flipped a page. “Window.”

Naruto sprinted for the window. He was perched on the ledge and jumping out with a wary glance over his shoulder before Yamato could take his next breath. Yamato watched the fleeting shadow disappear from Kakashi’s window as he heard the brushing paper of Kakashi flipping his next page.

Yamato took the seat beside Kakashi’s bed, folding his hands across his lap. “I take it Sakura disapproves of Naruto pestering you as much as I do.”

“More,” Kakashi emphasized as he set his book on the table at his side. He turned his complete attention on Yamato. “He’s not wrong, though. He does need training.”

Yamato sighed. “He was no match for Sasuke.”

Kakashi hummed his agreement. “He’s no match for the Akatsuki, either - in his current state.”

“Kakashi-Senpai,” Yamato said with a sigh, raising a hand to rub the back of his neck as an uneasy feeling settled over him. “I think you and I both know that boy needs _years_ of training to reach the level-“

“Tenzo,” Kakashi said, his tone turning sly as the hint of a smile shone in his open eye, “you don’t doubt me, do you?”

Yamato bit his cheek. That _name_ rolled too easily off Kakashi’s tongue. The attentive way Kakashi was looking at him was unnerving, to say the least. And he’d posed that _question._ Yamato didn’t doubt him. He never doubted Kakashi, not even when he was at his worst. His trust in Kakashi may have been his biggest fault. He recognized that tone, too. That smug look was too familiar. Kakashi was a genius, and right now, Yamato could see his genius at work.

In spite of feeling some trepidation, Yamato smiled. “No. You know I don’t, Senpai.”

Kakashi’s smile was obvious when his eyes formed crescents above his mask. “Good. Because I have a plan to train Naruto to reach the next level, but it won’t be safe for me to train him alone.”

Yamato scratched his head. “You want my help? Sure. What’s the plan?”

“All you have to worry about,” Kakashi said, leaning back and resting his shoulders again the headboard, “is suppressing the nine tails. As a precaution, we’ll need a distant training ground in case the nine tails can’t be suppressed. Because Naruto’s going to be using a _lot_ of chakra.”

Yamato’s eyes went wide. _“That’s_ why you need my help?”

Kakashi held Yamato’s gaze. “If you don’t mind.”

Yamato couldn’t help letting his eyes wander Kakashi’s reclined form as he resigned himself to the idea of spending countless hours draining himself with Wood Style use. Kakashi’s bare arms were hard to pull his eyes from, defined and attractive as Yamato remembered them, maybe beefier than the last time they’d been together. His chest beneath the form-fitting top was _definitely_ more built. Yamato remembered too clearly what it felt like to have that body beneath him, pressed on top of him, sliding against every part of his skin.

Kakashi cocked a brow. “Tenzo?”

Yamato cleared his throat. “It’s _Yamato_ on this mission, Kakashi. Remember that. Please.”

Kakashi laughed, seemingly embarrassed by his forgetfulness, but as Yamato absorbed the laughter, he knew better than to believe it. Kakashi wasn’t embarrassed. He was doing that on purpose. Yamato didn’t know whether Kakashi simply preferred that name because of their connection through its use - their _memories_ \- or he used it to be his usual intolerable self by refusing to play along just to annoy Yamato. All Yamato knew was that Kakashi _never_ forgot a code name before.

“Oh, right, sorry,” Kakashi said, rubbing the back of his head.

Yamato heaved a sigh. Kakashi was so _draining._ Yamato had come here with half a mind to initiate the conversation they’d failed to engage in the last time, but now any personal issues were the last things on his mind. If anything, he just wanted to dismiss himself from Kakashi’s presence as soon as possible. He didn’t even care to know what Kakashi had planned for Naruto’s training. As long as he knew his part, as long as he had his assignment, he didn’t need to be here any longer. 

He stood. “Then I’ll reserve us a training ground as soon as Lady Tsunade informs me of your discharge.”

“Yamato?” The name pulled from Kakashi’s lips like sticky molasses, unpracticed and uncomfortable as Kakashi furrowed his brow. “Leaving so soon?”

Yamato started, taken aback by Kakashi’s change in demeanor. “Is...there something else? Do you need me to relay a messa-“

“No, nothing like that,” Kakashi said. His mask came up again, the figurative one that replaced the emotion in his open eye with a guarded look. “Never mind, Ten - Yamato.”

He turned to his table, picking up his orange book. Yamato scratched his neck, feeling awkward now, unable to move. He’d missed something. As he watched Kakashi flip to the pages where he’d left off, Yamato let his mind race through their past minutes of interaction. He had come here for his orders, and he’d received them. Naruto had been an unexpected factor, but really Yamato shouldn’t have been surprised at his presence and persistence by the side of the man Naruto held in high regard as a mentor. Kakashi wasn’t healed yet, though judging by his apparent ease and comfort here, Yamato suspected he was getting better. He probably didn’t look forward to the effort that would be involved in teaching a boy with an attention span like Naruto. He needed Yamato’s help, and Yamato had agreed to give it. But he felt like Kakashi wanted...something else from him. Kakashi hadn’t _asked_ for anything else. Straightforward requests were never his style, though.

“Thank you for stopping by,” Kakashi murmured over his open pages.

“O-of course,” Yamato said with a bow of his head.

He stepped back, keeping his eyes trained on Kakashi. Kakashi seemed relaxed. He seemed to have already dismissed Yamato. But something wasn’t right. Yamato hesitated one last time by the door. With no further acknowledgment from Kakashi, he stepped out. As he closed the door behind him, he realized how much walking out of that room felt like leaving a conversation unfinished.

He walked the halls on autopilot, barely registering Lady Tsunade passing him by in Kakashi’s direction as she looked over charts. He passed several chunin with broken bones in the waiting room and gave a subtle nod to a fellow ANBU he wasn’t supposed to know outside of the black ops before pushing his way through the double doors into the sunlit sidewalks. But all the while, his mind was on Kakashi and what still remained unsaid between them. 

He knew what his head kept going back to, but he dismissed it as empty hope. Kakashi _didn’t_ want to discuss their past. The only past he clung to was his childhood trauma, his lost genin team, and his own personal failures. He wouldn’t cling to a couple of heated nights with one old teammate. That first night hadn’t meant anything to him the way it had meant something to Yamato.

“Hey, uh...Captain Yamato?”

Yamato turned his eyes to the deep, uncertain voice, finding through a cloud of smoke the jonin leader he’d met in the streets with Naruto and Sakura the other day. He was the same man Yamato had once seen lamenting Kakashi’s failings as a sensei in his first years after leaving ANBU. He was the third hokage’s son and Kakashi’s childhood friend.

Asuma discerned Yamato with a squint. “Right?”

“Right,” Yamato laughed, his friendly air coming easy in spite of his internal struggle. “Just Yamato is fine. Hello, Asuma.”

Asuma shifted his gaze skyward, traveling the height of the hospital building. “Visiting Kakashi?”

Yamato nodded. “You?”

“Yeah,” Asuma huffed, smoke pouring from his lips as he cracked a smile. “Idiot’s always putting himself in here. You need to stop him from doing that.”

“I try,” Yamato said, finding Asuma easier to talk to than he’d expected. “Fortunately, it seems our next task should be easy on him.”

Asuma quirked a brow. “And that is?”

Yamato smiled wryly. “Training Naruto. But I get the feeling _I’ll_ be the one doing the bruntwork, if you know what I mean.”

Asuma barked a laugh and plucked the cigarette from his lips. “Oh, man. Naruto _and_ Kakashi? How about I buy you a drink that night? You’ll need it after _that_ training session.”

“Really?” Yamato huffed an embarrassed laugh as he realized how right Asuma was. “Okay. Sure.”

“Just don’t make me regret it,” Asuma said as he flicked his cigarette into the disposal can outside the hospital doors.

Yamato scratched his cheek, hoping to hide his embarrassment. “I’ll try not to.”

“Eh,” Asuma groaned and scrubbed a hand over the stubble on his chin. “Kakashi can really push people’s buttons. You were on his ANBU team for awhile, right?”

“Right.”

“So _you_ know.” Asuma shook his head. “He’s not fit for society half the time, not because he hates people. I happen to know he cares a lot more than he lets on.”

“Then why the act?” Yamato said with a smile.

He had his own theories on this matter, but he was very interested in hearing it from someone who knew Kakashi Hatake from an even younger age than Yamato, and who knew him in a much different context these recent years. It seemed - to Yamato - Kakashi managed to hide his own vulnerability the more he belittled other people. When that didn’t work on some, playing the role of a lazy, disinterested shinobi seemed to ward away the rest. He’d mastered the art of pushing people away, which it seemed Asuma understood well. Yamato wanted to know if Asuma really knew the _reason_ though, because Yamato wasn’t sure.

Asuma diverted his gaze to the ground before fixing Yamato with a knowing look. “Maybe you should ask him that yourself.”

Yamato’s jaw dropped as Asuma’s lips spread into a grin. The other shinobi was off without so much as another word, but unlike his last conversation, Yamato knew this one was finished. As he watched Asuma’s back disappear behind the closing glass doors of the hospital, he gasped at a sudden burst of clarity. Kakashi’s unspoken requests, the words he wasn’t saying - it was all a part of this aloof front of his. He didn’t want to make himself vulnerable - _usually_ \- but now there has been something he’d wanted to say to Yamato and he’d held his tongue only because Yamato hadn’t given him an opening. Yamato’s instincts screamed at him that there was something Kakashi had wanted to confess. 

Could it be true? Not just Yamato’s wishful thinking? If Kakashi harbored feelings about their past, then Yamato _had_ made a mistake leaving that hospital room without broaching the subject. He’d stubbornly insisted on maintaining a professional air, in spite of all the signs that _Kakashi wasn’t doing that._ Subtle as the signs were, for someone like Kakashi, Yamato could see now it had been glaringly obvious. He was almost compelled to run back into the hospital to finish what they’d started, but he remembered Asuma ahead of him. 

It was too late.

And Kakashi…

Yamato took a deep breath and let it out. His stomach dropped as if he was suddenly plummeting down to Earth from a great height. If Kakashi _had_ been trying to open up a channel of communication between them, and _Yamato_ had brushed it off…

Kakashi was going to make this training session with Naruto even more tortuous than Yamato already imagined. 

Yamato gazed up at the shining windows of the hospital to the region of Kakashi’s room, wishing he could send a telepathic message through those walls to Asuma. Yamato was pretty certain now he wouldn’t be able to keep his promise to not make him regret his offer for drinks.

* * *

The night before the start of Naruto’s training, Yamato wasn’t alone with his thoughts. He had Kakashi laid out beside him in bed. They were both naked in every sense of the word. Yamato felt his breath quicken as his eyes wandered up and down Kakashi’s moonlit silhouette, the planes of his pale skin just visible beneath the shadows that casted everything around them in black.

“Kakashi, I’m sorry,” Yamato said as the sudden need to make up for his misstep at the hospital surged forth. “I should’ve said-“

“Are you sure?” Kakashi drawled, his eyes hardening, his Sharingan burning red and piercing the darkness.

Yamato’s lips parted as he felt Kakashi’s fingers draw a trail down his skin, touching at his collarbone, dipping between his pecs, plotting a course below his abs.

“Are you sure,” Kakashi whispered, “you don’t just want to keep things professional between us?”

Kakashi’s hand recoiled, leaving Yamato’s skin cold, his cock wanting for the touch that had been so close. Yamato writhed closer, but Kakashi only backed away. He put a smile on, his eyes forming crescents that made his face look so empty in comparison to the way his mismatched eyes had shimmered in the moonlit.

“I’m sure we can talk about it tomorrow, Tenzo,” he said cheekily. “Either way, I’m going to enjoy our time together in the training field.”

“No, Kakashi,” Yamato called after the shadow that climbed from his bed and disappeared into the darkness. “Wait!”

“Wait!” He sat up, heaving breaths as he felt the dew of cold sweat kiss the chill of night air. 

Kakashi was gone. 

Kakashi had never been there. 

Tenzo threw his hands up, brushing back the hair clinging to his forehead as he let out a groan. He laid back, feeling how painfully hard he was as well as how agonizingly fueled his anxiety was. He glanced at his clock and realized he only had a few more hours to sleep before he had to wake and rush off to meet Kakashi and Naruto at the training grounds. 

He really needed a full night of rest to gather the chakra required for dealing with tamping down the nine tails. But Kakashi wouldn’t care about that. He wouldn’t take into consideration any excuses from Yamato. He knew what kind of soldier Yamato could be, and would only accept his best. Even if _that_ weren’t an issue, Yamato expected difficulties from Kakashi on a personal level. Because he was only fooling himself with thinking they could remain distant and professional. There were deep-rooted feelings Yamato couldn’t deny. The painful part was doubting Kakashi could feel even an iota of what he did.

Yamato may have messed up, but he didn’t know what he’d done to deserve _this._


	7. Weakness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you haven’t seen the clip of Asuma and Yamato drinking together that fits in with this chapter, you need to. It is HILARIOUS. I wrote around it for this fic, like I wrote around a lot of these training gems in canon, some skimmed over, and some you’ll see in detail. Thank you again for reading. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! (Even if you’re angry after this chapter - I won’t blame you)

Yamato always admired Kakashi for his genius as a shinobi. He looked up to him for the reputation he upheld as an ANBU captain and one of the strongest ninja in the Hidden Leaf. He appreciated him for his magnetic allure and even for his cryptic ways of hiding his true motivations.

He wished he could praise Kakashi as highly for his teaching skills.

However, based on the exchange Yamato witnessed between Naruto and Kakashi on the training field, his last few years of practice as a sensei hadn’t garnered near as impeccable results as everything _else_ Kakashi did. Yamato could only credit him for effort today. Through the swaying green patches of tree leaves, he watched Kakashi speaking slowly to Naruto, doing his best to hide his agitation. He watched the subtle hitches of Kakashi’s shoulders, the tensing cords behind his neck, the rigid set of his jaw. 

Naruto was so eager to learn that none of this seemed to deter him. Or he was just that oblivious. Either way, Yamato sprang into the fold when he’d had enough of assessing the situation. His appearance interrupted Kakashi’s words when Naruto looked his way, which he hadn’t intended. When he landed across from Naruto by Kakashi’s side, Yamato winced, hoping Kakashi wasn’t already regretting asking for his assistance here.

“Captain Yamato?” Naruto said. “Wh-what are you doin’ here?”

“Kakashi thought my special expertise might be of use. He asked me to help you with your training,” Yamato explained to Naruto before turning to Kakashi. “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, Kakashi.”

He _knew_ he was. He only hoped Kakashi recognized the question for the apology it was meant to be. This could be Kakashi’s excuse to start being difficult with him for what happened back at the hospital, but if Kakashi planned to make things difficult today, he wasn’t showing it yet. He shrugged easily before continuing his explanation to Naruto - who quickly cut him off, asking Yamato a befuddling question. He wanted to know what chakra nature _Wood Style_ was? Yamato scratched his chin and pulled a face as he wondered what Naruto and Kakashi were even talking about before he jumped in. 

Before Yamato could question it, though, or string together some mumbled reply, Kakashi was pressing close to him, invading his personal space. Yamato frowned as his eyes darted to Kakashi’s profile at his side. He was so close. If Yamato turned, he could kiss him. Yamato could smell Kakashi’s earthy scent, feel the touch of Kakashi’s skin as he pressed the edge of his gloved hand against Yamato’s ear, absorb the warmth of his breath batting against Yamato’s cheek, even with the barrier of a mask between them.

“He may be a little unfocused,” Kakashi whispered, “but at least he’s enthusiastic. Go on. Go ahead. Tell him.”

“Right,” Yamato drawled.

If Yamato wasn’t so annoyed by the request, his heart might’ve raced at the sensation of Kakashi pressed so close to him after all these years. He might’ve answered Kakashi with ragged breath. But that wasn’t the case. He knew _this_ was it. Just the tip of the iceberg. Kakashi was egging him on to waste valuable time and energy with a demonstration. It _could_ be useful, however, if used to form a different land formation than these flat grounds for Naruto’s training. A large mass and some water could act as another barrier between the nine tails and the village, were the cloak to get out of hand.

Yamato called out the earth style jutsu as he clasped his hands together to form hand signs. The earth beneath him groaned and trembled. Kakashi and Naruto grew smaller and smaller as Yamato rose above the mass of land, building the earth up to new heights. He rearranged his hands and called out the water style jutsu before watching the water rush over the land mass. Then he called down to Naruto to explain that these were _both_ his chakra natures.

Of course, he shouldn’t have been surprised when Kakashi made a point to tell their fascinated student that he, too, could manipulate other natures, as all jonin could - which only confused Naruto more.

Taking pity on the boy, Yamato explained of his kekkai genkai, of his concurrent use of his two natures to create Wood Style. He demonstrated this by forming the signs and gathering chakra to sprout trees from the newly-built earth surrounding his man made waterfall. All of this only devolved into a lengthy lecture about kekkai genkai, which lead Naruto to more questions until Kakashi had to admit there was no time for all of that. It had gone on long enough for Yamato to feel it was time to step in and suggest leaving the yin and yang of chakra nature for later. They needed Naruto to master a new jutsu before the Akatsuki came for _him._ He needed to start _now._

Fortunately, Kakashi agreed and told Naruto to forget it.

At least _sometimes_ he listened to Yamato.

Unfortunately, somehow Naruto had mastered the use of shadow clones without ever realizing one of their prime advantages - and Yamato had to watch as Kakashi went through yet another entire demonstration to dawn _that_ realization on him. This was not going to be an easy training session - Yamato was already getting weary and he’d barely even exerted any chakra yet.

Mirroring Yamato’s thoughts, Kakashi turned to Yamato to grumble about how he didn’t understand where Master Jiraiya gathered the patience to teach the Rasengan to this kid. Yamato had to nod and hum his agreement, but he left all explanations in Kakashi’s hands. Yamato needed to save his energy. The only part of the lesson Yamato took pleasure in witnessing was the part where Kakashi had to humbly admit how much less chakra he had in comparison to the powerhouse that was Naruto. It was nice to see the great Kakashi knocked down a peg.

Yamato smiled when the explanations were finally over. He stepped forward to stress to Naruto what he and Kakashi already knew - his high chakra use would possibly result in losing control of the nine tails. By the look in Naruto’s eyes, he clearly understood the risk - and appreciated Yamato for being there to help him avoid that.

Kakashi started Naruto on using his clones to master splitting leaves with wind chakra, and while Naruto made progress before Yamato felt any threat of the nine tails chakra emerging, Yamato couldn’t help catching glimpses of Kakashi sticking his nose back into that orange book. Kakashi wasn’t giving Yamato a hard time as he’d suspected, but he didn’t _need_ to when Yamato was left doing all this work alone. 

When Kakashi finally told Naruto to end his shadow clone jutsu hours later to reflect on the exercise, Yamato let out a hefty sigh and dispelled his own jutsu as he let his eyes slide closed. He felt like plopping back into the grass and letting the wind that had plagued this training ground for the past hours now become a source of relief for his strained and exhausted body. But he wouldn’t relax, not before Naruto did.

Unfortunately, Naruto’s shadow clones were regenerating in clouds of smoke all over the training field before Yamato had the chance to open his eyes. He scurried to reenact his jutsu, resigning himself to the same stiff posture he’d been stuck in longer than he cared to think about.

It was only minutes later, to Yamato’s great relief, when Naruto collapsed from pure exhaustion. When Kakashi caught the boy on his shoulders and called to Yamato that it was time for a short break, Yamato hampered his expression of immense relief and uttered a simple, restrained, “understood.”

* * *

That night, Yamato shirked his pent-up stress at the bar with Asuma, laying claim to those drinks he’d been promised. He needed all the respite he could get before going back for another day of it. A few drinks in, he lost the carefully-crafted restraint of professionalism he’d maintained all day on the training grounds. Before long, he was airing out to his new drinking buddy all his problems with Kakashi - repeatedly. He hadn’t expressed or even managed to acknowledge to _himself_ his anger with Kakashi earlier in the day, but it was amazing what the loosening of inhibitions could do to one’s self-awareness. Yamato had _had_ it with Kakashi lazily reading and relaxing all day, repeatedly taking credit for his genius idea and the success of the training while Yamato and Naruto did all the hard work. 

By the time he stumbled out of the bar, he was sure Asuma would never offer to buy him a drink again.

He grumbled all the way home about how he’d blown it with Asuma’s friendship, how he’d blown it with most of his comrades over the years, and _especially_ about how he’d blown things with Kakashi. He valued Kakashi’s friendship above all else, and supposed he should appreciate that it seemed he at least still had that, if nothing else. But having nothing else _wasn’t enough._

When he reached the hall leading to his apartment, coming so close to claiming the relief of his own bed after a hard day and a late night, Yamato was drawn to a stop by the sight of a crumpled mass against his door frame.

It was a man in jonin vest and uniform with his back against Yamato’s door and his head hung over his shoulders. If it weren’t for the silver hair falling forward, recognizable even in the shadows hiding Yamato’s apartment numbers at this time of night, Yamato might have thought the man at his door could be one of several people from this village.

He stood several feet away, biting his lip as he watched the rise and fall of Kakashi’s shoulders as he breathed, and the way his head seemed to dip forward a little more with every breath. Yamato was in no rush. He could take this moment to appreciate the sight - but only from this distance. He knew Kakashi would be watching him soon - if he wasn’t already.

Yamato stepped forward. Kakashi didn’t move. His breathing didn’t change. Yamato groaned and rolled his eyes.

“Kakashhhsenpai,” he slurred, “what’re you doing here?”

Kakashi blinked slowly and Yamato had to bite his lip to stifle the squeal crawling up his throat in reaction to how _cute_ he looked.

Kakashi’s half-lidded eye drifted and landed on Yamato before he smiled. “Tenzo. I’ve been waiting for you.”

Yamato scratched his cheek, trying to quell the blush he felt rising, hoping the flush from the alcohol would disguise it. “I c’n see that. Would you...like to come in?”

As Yamato reached for his door, careful not to lean too closely into Kakashi’s personal space, Kakashi stood. “I don’t want to bother you. You’re-“

“You’ve clearly been here awhile,” Yamato said as he opened his door, and like the dark apartment opening up to his eyes, the realization that Kakashi _had been waiting for him_ this whole time became apparent to him, “y’must...have s’mthing important to discuss.”

Yamato cleared his throat as he crossed his threshold, trying not to sway, trying not to show his alarm as he recalled the _last_ time Kakashi wanted to discuss something with him. If he was in his right mind, he never would have invited Kakashi in under these circumstances. Or at least...he would’ve resisted. He grumbled to himself as he kicked his sandals off, admitting silently that he was well aware Kakashi would’ve eventually bullied him into it either way.

“Hm?” Kakashi asked, a breath behind him. “You say something?”

Yamato shook his head and grunted. “No. No, but I’m tired. Please tell me what you’re doing here, Kakashi. Is there something wrong with Naruto? D’we need to make changes to his training for tomorrow?”

“You’re tired?” Kakashi snorted. “More like drunk.”

“That, too.” Yamato laughed.

He smiled at Kakashi, taken in by the warmth in the copy nin’s dark eye. Yamato couldn’t seem to stop himself. This was starting out just like he was telling Asuma. Always melting for Kakashi, always giving in to his whims. Well, _not_ today.

Kakashi tilted his head. “Who outdrank who? You or Asuma?”

Yamato blustered. “H-how? How do you know who-“

Kakashi pressed a finger to the side of his nose before striding past Yamato, deeper into the apartment. “I can smell him on you. Along with the smoke and the booze.”

“Oh,” Yamato said, deflating as he followed Kakashi and shut the door behind him. “Well, truth be told, I think I can handle ten times the alcohol he can.”

Kakashi chuckled, deep and warm. “I think you mean that the other way around? Asuma can hold his liquor.”

“Right.” Yamato ground his teeth when he caught himself - again - losing his resolve. “So? What d’you need?”

Kakashi sighed and touched the top of Yamato’s futon, nodding his head toward the floor. “It’s not so much...what _I_ need.”

“No?” Yamato snorted. “That’s a change. Kakashi Hatake? Doing something for someone else for once?”

“Am I really that bad?” 

When Kakashi turned to show Yamato his face again, Yamato felt the air leave his lungs at the shock of the unexpected solemnity he recognized in Kakashi’s eye. Even with his hitai-ate lowered and his mask on, Yamato could clearly discern his vulnerability. Yamato didn’t have to be sober to feel that gaze’s sobering effect.

“No,” Yamato said softly, sincerely. “Not always.”

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, his vulnerability remaining evident. “You know...we haven’t really had a chance to talk...since…” his eye met Yamato’s and he blinked. With the reopening of his eye, the facade he wore so well returned. “Anyway, you’re drunk. Now’s not the best time-“

“So why don’t you stick around?” Yamato asked, keeping his gaze locked on Kakashi as he meandered into the kitchen. “Have a cup of tea? Keep me company? I’ll sober up.”

“And then we’ll...talk,” Kakashi said uneasily.

Yamato smirked. He had Kakashi right where he wanted him. Sure, at first he’d been scared of letting Kakashi in, of seeing what he had to say. But now he felt no trepidation, not with liquid courage behind him. _Now,_ he had _Kakashi_ scared. The tables were turning in Yamato’s favor.

Yamato reached into his cupboard, pulling out his metal jar of tea before bringing the kettle from his stove to the kitchen tap. “What did you come here _tonight_ for? Something besides that overdue talk, I’m sure.”

“I think I like you better when you’re not drunk,” Kakashi murmured as he plopped noisily into the kitchen chair. “You’re supposed to be _less_ astute like this, you know.”

Yamato turned on the heat and smiled as he set his eyes on the cold, shiny kettle. “Are you saying I’m not always astute?”

Now the kettle wasn’t the only thing gaining heat. Yamato pressed his lips together as he caught himself in the blatant flirtation. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and hoped - futilely - that Kakashi didn’t catch on.

“Astute, yes,” Kakashi said. Yamato turned just in time to catch the teasing glint in his eye. “It’s other aspects of your control that seem to be slipping.”

Yamato sighed. “Kakashi-“

“Is the tea ready?”

Yamato turned around to see the kettle steaming. “Just another minute.”

By the time he set up two mugs, the tea was ready to be poured. Yamato watched the tea muddy the swirling water as he contemplated his next move. He wanted to be firm with Kakashi. He wouldn’t allow Kakashi to waltz in and make him into more of a pushover than he already was. If Kakashi wanted this flirtatiousness to stop, if Yamato’s advances weren’t welcome - hell, Kakashi could be in a _relationship_ for all Yamato knew. The team being unaware of such a development in their captain’s personal life told him nothing. Maybe this talk Kakashi had been trying to initiate was to tell Yamato that the past was the past, and he wanted to leave it at that. Yamato removed the tea bags and set the cups on the table as he sat across from Kakashi. A silence settled between them, amicable at first but growing heavy with each passing moment.

“I’m sorry, Tenzo.”

Yamato blinked up at Kakashi. “Huh? Sorry?”

Kakashi’s eye fell to the steam rising from his mug while he drew it closer and traced the rim with his finger. “For that night. After we left the bar together. Back then, I-“

“Woah,” Yamato laughed, swirling his mug. “Come _on,_ that’s nothing to apologize for. _Absolutely_ not. It was-“ Yamato stopped short, feeling his ears burn as he realized how heartily he wanted to lavish praises over the experience of _being_ with Kakashi that first time. He snapped his mouth shut before it all rolled out as drunken rambling.

Kakashi raised an expectant brow. “It was…?”

“Good,” Yamato said crisply before dipping his head and pressing his lips to the bite of scalding hot tea.

“Good.” Kakashi nodded slowly as he curled his fingers through the handle of his mug. “Tenzo-“

“It’s Yamato.”

“Dammit,” Kakashi growled, a quiet anger rolling to the surface. “I’m talking to _you._ Not your code name.”

“Well,” Yamato said haughtily, “I don’t see how there’s any diff-“

“I used you.”

Kakashi’s words drew all activity to a halt. The atmosphere instantly intensified. Even the steam from their teacups seemed to stop moving. Yamato’s eyes were glued to Kakashi’s face, to the sincerity conveyed by his gray eye. It was like Kakashi _wanted_ this silence. He wanted his confession to sink in, as if he’d said something Yamato didn’t already know.

Yamato shook his head. “No. We were clear about that. You didn’t do anything I-“

“I know-” Kakashi stressed the word, then halted, his jaw straining beneath the fabric of his mask. “I _know_ you felt something for me then.”

“Okay, but back then you-“

“I knew it then, too.”

Yamato held back from gasping, even as his chest grew tight. Maybe he hadn’t wanted to admit it, but Yamato realized now that this wasn’t new information, either. He’d _known_ there was no hiding his feelings from Kakashi, even back in those days. Kakashi had played along when Yamato had said he could handle it, knowing he wasn’t ready to. Kakashi had known Yamato wasn’t prepared for the hurt he would deliver. 

But he’d delivered it anyway. 

When Yamato looked across the table at Kakashi’s face to see Kakashi pulling back his hitai-ate up to lock both his sorrowful eyes on Yamato, his throat tightened. He couldn’t say another word. He felt the slip of his mug between his fingers before catching it with a sharp gasp and setting it on the table, sliding it to the center. Kakashi kept his eyes trained on Yamato’s face as he pushed his mug forward until porcelain clinked sharply against porcelain.

“I didn’t know then,” Kakashi started slowly, seemingly afraid to continue, “uh...what it was to have romantic feelings for someone.”

“Oh.” Yamato snorted. “And now you do?”

Kakashi averted his eye and winced. “Guess I deserve that.”

Yamato furrowed his brows, surprised to see his words truly affect Kakashi. Suddenly, feelings of guilt overpowered any animosity he was feeling at having that heartbreak recounted. Kakashi was really struggling with this. Maybe he did feel differently about romance than he used to. Yamato gnawed his cheek as he considered the possibilities - what could’ve sparked that change. It seemed even more likely that Kakashi had a current paramour. That would explain this conversation. It made it even more crucial that Kakashi communicate this with Yamato if they were to continue working together, but it didn’t sting any less. It only reminded Yamato of how true it was back then that he’d never stood a chance.

“Well,” Yamato drawled, rubbing his hand through his thick hair and shifting away from Kakashi as he sought a way to lighten the atmosphere. “It seems Naruto’s coming along.”

Kakashi met Yamato’s gaze, unimpressed by the less than subtle shift. “He is. Tomorrow, I’ll have him cut through the waterfall you built.”

Yamato raised his brows. “Cut? With his chakra? That’s a monumental-“

Kakashi raised a hand. “I know, I know. But that’s exactly what we’re aiming for.”

Yamato scrubbed a hand down his face. “I’ve got my work cut out for me.”

“Oh, that’s right,” Kakashi said, lighting his eyes with a mischievous smile. “How are you recovering? He took a lot out of you today. More than I anticipated, really. I thought he’d at least give you _some_ breaks.”

“Like at least five minutes?” Yamato chuckled, but it was strained. “No, the only breaks I had were three minutes at most, whenever he’d pass out. I might be dead from the shoulders up after how long I was holding that position.”

Yamato stood from the table and reached over with one hand to grasp one of the aching joints, but the touch incited more pain. He clenched his eyes shut and squeezed, coaxing the muscle to relax, barely acknowledging the scratch of chair legs over wood and then footsteps while his efforts only _deepened_ the pain of his unattended shoulder. He hissed at the sharp ache before a foreign warmth spread over his throbbing shoulder. Pressure weighed down with it, squeezed, and made Yamato’s eyes snap open.

“Here,” Kakashi said, squeezing Yamato’s shoulder again. Yamato recoiled from his touch, but Kakashi seized him by both shoulders and held firm. “Sit.”

Shaking his head, Yamato let his legs move as Kakashi led him to his futon. “Kakashi, what are you doing?”

“It’s the least I can do,” Kakashi said as he settled in behind Yamato, his weight settling and tipping Yamato back into the warmth of his strong hands. “We can’t have you going another day tomorrow without _some_ recuperation beyond Asuma’s asinine idea of cutting loose.”

“Hey, those drinks were good,” Yamato groaned as Kakashi squeezed.

“Mm-hmm,” Kakashi hummed.

His voice rumbled in Yamato’s ear while he continued kneading the muscles _perfectly._ Yamato moaned and then his eyes went wide at his slip of control. He couldn’t deny that he’d like more of Kakashi’s hands on him, but after the conversation they’d just had, he was _not_ going to let his mind lead him in that direction. He needed to keep the conversation going.

“And have you ever sang karaoke there? It was open mic night tonight.” Yamato stuttered as Kakashi squeezed around his neck, draining the tension there. “Did-did you know that?”

“No.” Kakashi’s hands stilled on Yamato’s shoulders. “You listened to Asuma’s karaoke?”

“Yeah, I think,” Yamato said, furrowing his brows as he grasped for details, the night’s earlier events already growing hazy. “We both sang.”

“I’m sorry for your ears.”

“Hey, Asuma’s cool. He’s fun. How come you have so many fun, cool friends you never told me about?”

“What,” Kakashi snorted, “like _Guy?”_

_“Yeah,_ like Guy!” Yamato groaned loudly at the next tenderizing of his shoulders, but this one didn’t sound wanton like the traitorous moan he let slip earlier. “Ohhh, and don’t even get me started on the kids. The team is _great.”_

“Yeah, they are,” Kakashi said softly before transforming his death-grip squeezes to gentle, soothing rubs. “Yamato-“

“Don’t,” Yamato said, not daring to face Kakashi, to see the look to accompany that softening voice that was _bound_ to weaken him. “Thank you for the apology. But...you want your professional boundaries up, you’ll have them. I can train Naruto with you _without_ any expectations about this thing we used to - or - never really had.”

Kakashi’s hands slid over the swells of Yamato’s shoulders, down his arms and over the cotton of his sleeves until touching Yamato’s bare skin at his forearms, raising goosebumps on his flesh like a jolt of electricity. Kakashi’s warm breath ghosted over Yamato’s neck as he leaned closer.

“What if I don’t want boundaries?”

Yamato spun around fast enough to give himself whiplash, his brows pinched and fist pulled back. “Are you _serious?_ After everything you just said?”

Kakashi blinked, his eyes going wide as he held up a defensive hand. “Okay. I just thought-“

“Fuck, Kakashi!” Yamato shot to his feet and violently paced to the kitchen. “What do you want from me? I can’t be your fuck buddy.”

Kakashi’s eyes went wider, if possible. Yamato hated himself for watching Kakashi so intensely across the room. The way his throat bobbed as he swallowed, the way the lines of his body moved as he stood to his feet, the way his pupils dilated and the Sharingan spun while fixated on _him_ \- it was all captivating to Yamato.

“We can try it your way,” Kakashi said, his voice strained.

Yamato knitted his brows. “Excuse me?”

“It can’t be that different, right?”

“What are you even-“ Yamato shook his head. “What are you talking about?”

Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck, a wash of pink spreading over the edge of his mask. “A relationship,” he murmured.

Yamato furrowed his brows as he puzzled together what Kakashi was saying. Now Kakashi was proposing a _relationship_ with him? Yamato thought Kakashi was already in one with someone else. Well, that theory was out the window with _this._ Kakashi might’ve been an asshole in many ways, but he wasn’t the type to get involved with someone only to fool around behind their back. Regardless of Kakashi’s intentions with Yamato, there was no doubt he _wanted_ to fool around. But fooling around and starting a relationship were two _vastly_ different things. Kakashi didn’t think there was any difference?

“A relationship,” Yamato deadpanned, letting the weight of the word settle for good measure, only continuing when Kakashi didn’t change his tune. “You think that can’t be much different than...what?”

Kakashi blew out a ragged breath and looked away. “I don’t know. Tenz-“

“It’s _Yamato,”_ Yamato said spitefully as he seized Kakashi by the shoulders and drove him to the door. “And I’m your _teammate._ Your kohai. _That_ should be a relationship you know how to manage. Right?”

Kakashi stepped over Yamato’s threshold before turning to face him with a crisp snap of his jaw. “Right.”

He lowered his hitai-ate, keeping his gray eye locked with Yamato’s smoldering glare. Yamato didn’t care if Kakashi was unhappy. He might’ve been a sucker once, but he was _not_ falling for Kakashi again, not even with the mind-numbing high of alcohol still buzzing through his system, _especially_ not if Kakashi didn’t acknowledge that there was a difference between a real relationship and fucking around with a teammate. Kakashi wouldn’t play with his feelings. Yamato was hurt that Kakashi was willing to try it all over again.

“Fine,” Kakashi said before letting loose a hefty exhale. “Whatever you want, Yamato. I just want you to be comfortable tomorrow.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Anything you want from me?”

Yamato opened his mouth to decline the offer, but thought better of it as remembrances of Naruto’s relentless energy from earlier in the day resurfaced. “Just...get Naruto off my back a little more?”

Kakashi smiled, and to Yamato’s surprise, the look in his eye was genuinely warm. “Get some rest. And bring your sleeping bag. I’ll see you there at sunrise, and we’re not leaving until Naruto has this technique mastered.”

As Kakashi turned away, Yamato’s face went out of joint. “Not leaving? The training grounds aren’t even far from the village! Why can’t we res- ugh.”

Kakashi was already out of earshot, not even listening. Yamato ground his teeth, wondering how things could seemingly end up right back where they started after all of that, like nothing had even happened between them. At least his worries about backlash from the hospital had been unfounded. And now Yamato had this uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. The further Kakashi walked away, the more the reality settled that Yamato had just refused the one thing he’d been hoping for longer than he could remember. Kakashi _wanted_ him. Yamato didn’t know if Kakashi was willing to go public, or only to keep this between them...the possibilities were endless and they hadn’t discussed any of it. They _wouldn’t_ either, because Yamato had made himself very clear - and final. He heaved a breath and slammed his door shut, reminding himself that he’d made the right choice and he would sleep easy knowing he did.

Except, he didn’t know at all.


	8. Surrender

Naruto’s next stage of training at the waterfall didn’t start off so badly - but Yamato should’ve known it would get worse.

When Naruto insisted on taking it to the next level (at Kakashi’s pointed barb that not even _Sasuke_ could learn this within a few days), it escalated quickly for Yamato with the chakra-exerting feat of expanding the entire waterfall in addition to warding off the added chakra of a hundred times the Narutos.

He’d been working so hard that he barely noticed any tension between him and Kakashi. Kakashi was surprisingly respectful of his space, more conscious of Yamato’s well-being than at the start of the training. Sure, he kept reading his porn and lounging, but Yamato caught the pointed glances in his direction from time to time. There was nothing loaded in the glances, no expectations on Kakashi’s part. He was closely monitoring Yamato’s state of health, and nothing else. Honestly, Yamato could use the looking-after. Naruto was inhumanly energetic. His chakra was off the charts. There was no way for a normal person to keep up with the demands that kid put on his body.

By the time Naruto fainted _again,_ finally admitting he was starved, Yamato was in agreement that it was an opportune time for some Ichiraku Ramen. He could use the refueling, too. 

On the walk to Ichiraku, Yamato watched Kakashi as he carried their exhausted student’s awkward weight with his limp arm slung over his shoulder. Naruto muttered, all the while lusting for ramen. As Kakashi reassured him repeatedly that they were almost there, their interaction brought a smile to Yamato’s face. Somewhere in between Kakashi hating kids and landing this team, he’d developed a bond with Naruto and Sakura that was unmistakable. Yamato couldn’t blame him. This team _was_ great, full of trust and loyalty, even for the member who’d abandoned them and swore off their friendship. If anyone could be credited with thawing through the ice surrounding Kakashi’s heart, it was these kids.

“See, Naruto?” Kakashi said as he stepped in front of Yamato, reaching for the familiar red and white noren waving beside him. “We’re here. Hello.”

“Welcome!” beamed the father and daughter waiting inside. Teuchi smiled over the counter. “What can we get you today?”

Naruto practically fell into the stool Kakashi led him to, drooling over the bar. “Ramen.”

“We’ve updated our menu,” Ayame said with an exuberant smile as she propped the menu in front of Naruto. “Take a look.”

“That’s nice,” Naruto said without looking. “I’ll have pork miso ramen.”

“We serve dipping noodles now,” Teuchi explained while Yamato took the seat on Naruto’s left and watched Kakashi take a menu from Ayame to Naruto’s right. “My daughter went to a special course.”

Yamato raised a brow as he perused his menu, listened to Naruto repeat his original order with more insistence, and frowned. He’d been looking forward to ramen, too. An argument continued between Ayame and Naruto while Yamato chewed his lip and considered the menu. It looked impressive, but he could really used a meal to fortify and didn’t expect dipping noodles to be as satisfactory as ramen.

Naruto groaned, his stomach rumbling loudly. “What the hell are you talking about? All I wanted was a simple pork miso and meat.”

“It’ll be fine,” Kakashi said in a failed attempt at reassuring. “Dipping noodles are pretty much the same as ramen.”

Yamato clenched his jaw. Kakashi and his bullshit again. Of _course_ a man who saw no difference between romantic relationships and casually fucking would fail to acknowledge the difference between two distinct styles of noodle preparation.

Yamato looked past Naruto’s drawn and aggrieved expression to lock eyes with Kakashi. “No, they’re not. Dipping noodles are served separate from the broth. You dip and eat, like soba.”

Kakashi met Yamato’s eyes with a tired glare. He knew _exactly_ what Yamato was saying. “Well,” he snarked, “it all goes to the same place.”

Yamato raised his chin. He was not backing down on this one. “The concept is totally different.”

“He’s absolutely right!” Naruto said - and it was nice to have _someone_ agree with him. “Ramen’s not the same as dipping noodles! And I really want ramen so let’s get it goin’, huh?”

“We only prepare dipping noodles,” Ayame said stubbornly, “so, I’m sorry.”

As Naruto tried his argument again and Ayame held firm, Yamato made his choice and slid his menu aside. He gave his order to Teuchi just after Kakashi, noticing Kakashi catching his gaze and giving him a smile beneath the mask. Maybe Yamato was being harsh with Kakashi. Kakashi _had_ been attentive and considerate all morning. He’d held true to his promises from the previous night of making sure Yamato was comfortable, and was doing so right now by treating them to this meal. Yamato rolled his eyes at himself and smiled. He could never hold a grudge when it came to Kakashi, no matter how hard he tried.

His meal was in front of him when he looked down, and he dove in as Naruto poured all of his ingredients together, causing a cry of outrage from the chef. It was a bit distracting eating next to the uproar Naruto was causing with his three bowls, and no surprise to Yamato that Kakashi was able to finish his meal without letting his student see his face. In the end, Yamato had to admit he could actually develop a preference for dipping noodles’ lighter taste to ramen. He had definitely been hard on Kakashi, and in hindsight, that whole argument had been ridiculous. He shot Kakashi a smile across the Ichiraku bar, happy to catch a glimmer in Kakashi’s eye.

Kakashi began speaking to Naruto, suggesting he would show him something _very_ cool when they returned to the training grounds, and Yamato suspected he knew exactly what that was. It was always productive to lead by example, after all. Naruto seemed dubious, but Yamato had to agree, Naruto at first probably wasn’t going to like seeing that his sensei had already mastered the technique Naruto so proudly touted. It was all for the path of his training, though. This would be good for him.

“Yamato,” Kakashi called, jerking his chin toward the check Teuchi held in front of him, “you got this, right?”

“Who, me?” Yamato laughed. “Shouldn’t the most _senior_ member be the one to take care of it?”

“There’s no rank distinction when it comes to mutual respect. Besides,” Kakashi said, shooting Yamato a look that smoldered, “you’re probably my only kohai I acknowledge as a _true equal.”_ Yamato’s breath caught as he absorbed the look in Kakashi’s eye, the meaning behind his words. 

“You’re right,” Kakashi added.

_Those_ words left an impact like nothing else. Like the dipping noodles, this conversation wasn’t just about his respect as a subordinate. Kakashi, who never admitted to being wrong, was actually _admitting_ Yamato was right last night. 

Yamato was floored.

“If you want me to pay,” Kakashi said with a sigh, “I will.”

“No, no, no,” Yamato said, meeting Kakashi’s eye, conveying all the deep understanding and appreciation he felt before Kakashi could reach any deeper for his wallet. He stood and reached for the check, accepting _with_ it Kakashi’s offer from the previous night _._ “I’ve got it.”

As Kakashi and Naruto stepped out, chatting amicably, Yamato paid the bill, his heart thumping out of his chest. He _had_ it, all right. Not just the bill. He had Kakashi. This was really it. No more fucking around. No more what-ifs. They’d talked it out, rehashed the past, and laid everything on the table. 

There was nothing Yamato could _do_ with this stunning revelation, though. They were returning to the training grounds with Naruto, and would remain _with_ Naruto, day and night, until he mastered this new technique which would be near impossible for anyone to master. There was no telling how long it would take.

With a loaded sigh, Yamato stepped out of Ichiraku pocketing his wallet, too deep in his thoughts to question what Naruto and Kakashi were smiling about.

* * *

The glow of Kakashi’s wind chakra spinning in his outstretched palm was an impressive sight to behold. Beneath the sunlit sky, surrounded by a field of green, Yamato fixated on two things: that stunning creation, and Naruto’s jaw dropping.

Kakashi’s attempt at an explanation of the reason for his demonstration, though, didn’t go over well.

It was like that first day of training all over again, but with Naruto turned adversarial toward his sensei for “showing off”. Kakashi’s subsequent display of his Chidori only worsened the matter. But, eventually, Naruto reached the understanding that Kakashi was trying to teach him something greater - much greater than the Rasengan or Chidori or any technique anyone had seen before.

He was explaining to Naruto that in spite of all Kakashi’s skill, _he_ couldn’t teach Naruto the next step. The _fourth Hokage_ hadn’t been able to reach the next step. Naruto needed to understand that he had to _surpass_ Kakashi if he was going to master his new technique. It was setting the bar high, but Kakashi coolly explained to Naruto that he really believed Naruto was the only person capable of surpassing the fourth Hokage. It was impressive. When Kakashi turned to leave Naruto to it, _Yamato_ believed Naruto could do it, and he’d seen the boy at his worst.

Yamato ran to catch up with Kakashi, falling in stride with him just out of earshot of Naruto. “You handled him perfectly. You are _quite_ the sweet-talker, aren’t you?” 

Kakashi turned to meet his eye, and instead of the aloof expression Yamato expected to see hinted at him above the edges of a mask, he was met by warm admiration.

“No,” Kakashi said, directing that admiration over his shoulder where Naruto wielded wind chakra with absolute concentration. “I believe he can do it.”

Yamato smiled. Kakashi _meant_ it. He meant every word of it, just like he meant to hold true to the offer he’d made to Yamato. While Naruto was deeply absorbed in his chakra, in focusing his concentration over their growing distance on the field, Yamato slipped his hand into Kakashi’s gloved palm, happy to feel the tender grasp he received. It was only a moment before he let go, but it was enough. 

For now, it was all he needed.

* * *

“Tenzo! Tenzo!” 

Yamato responded to Kakashi’s alarm by assuring Kakashi he was on it, thrusting forth his jutsu, and targeting the nine tails cloak emanating from Naruto across the field, not for the first time that day. Naruto was working harder than ever before; he was in the finishing stages of perfecting and altering his Rasengan.

Yamato wrapped his attack around Naruto and smashed the nine tails cloak. Yamato didn’t think Naruto could take anymore. Yamato didn’t think _he_ could keep suppressing Naruto like this. But Kakashi insisted they had to continue. This was the only way. He told Yamato that whether Naruto achieved his jutsu or not depended on him. Yamato couldn’t let Naruto down when Naruto was willing to work _this hard._ He couldn’t let Kakashi down, either.

He took a deep breath and said, “Yes, Senpai.”

It was exhausting work, laborious for both Yamato and Naruto. When Naruto reached a level of frustration where it seemed he was ready to forfeit the training altogether, Yamato thought that might’ve been it. But then, from somewhere deep within himself, Naruto found a new burst of energy, a will to continue, and Yamato was back to warding off the nine tails, one exhausting outbreak after another.

With a little encouragement from his sensei, captain, and his teammates watching from the sidelines, paired with inspiration from Kakashi spurred by another shadow clone demonstration that gave Naruto a better understanding of the key to mastering his technique, Naruto started making progress. Just when Kakashi was complimenting Naruto, and the two started acting strangely on the field, leaving Yamato wondering _what_ was going on out there, Yamato was approached by a chunin with a message. The commotion on the other end of the field went quiet as Yamato tried to absorb unexpected news.

Shock settled over him as he approached Naruto and Kakashi. “Kakashi!” he called as his mind raced and failed to process. “We need to call off the training and return immediately.”

Naruto’s eyes bulged. “Wha-?”

“What’s happened?” Kakashi said, his brow creasing as he clearly sensed Yamato’s quiet distress.

Yamato pressed forward, wanting to meet them first, wanting to _be here_ for Kakashi, who he knew would feel this loss exponentially harder than Yamato. “Asuma Sarutobi...has been killed.”

* * *

  
The funeral was - like all funerals - a gloomy but familiar occasion. In spite of the gloom, Kakashi never shed a tear, but Yamato didn’t need to see tears to know Kakashi’s pain. He saw it in the rigid set of Kakashi’s shoulders. He felt it when he heard the tightness of Kakashi’s voice in the lamentation of his friend’s name. 

Yamato watched as Kurenai, the woman Asuma had tried and failed not to speak praises about the night he and Yamato were out drinking, placed a flower on his grave. He saw the devastation in her crimson eyes, the experience of a loss like Yamato had never known. Yamato glanced sideways at Kakashi, imagining how much harder it would be if it were _him_ in that grave. Yamato wasn’t so far off from understanding Kurenai’s feelings. A shinobi’s life was never long. Nothing was promised to them. This sudden loss of their friend was more of a reminder of that than anything. Yamato felt like a fool when he considered all the time that had been wasted. 

* * *

Naruto’s training that day was a brutal endeavor that climaxed with a mid-field blinding clash of two Rasengans, one perfected, one in its base form. It was followed by Kakashi heading home with an injury and Naruto going home to rest in his own bed for a change, to gather as much energy as possible for mastering his jutsu the next day. Yamato also went to his own home and showered. Then he headed to Kakashi’s.

They had a big day of training ahead of them tomorrow, Yamato knew that. But he also knew Kakashi needed a shoulder to cry on, an ear to hear him out, a friend who was still here. 

Yamato would be the person who remained when the rest had gone away.

* * *

He shouldn’t have been surprised by his reception at Kakashi’s door.

When Kakashi’s admission, granted without words, was more reminiscent of disinterested dismissal than welcoming invitation, Yamato hesitated only barely a moment. After all, this was _Kakashi._ He knew getting Kakashi to talk following the tragedy that had just befallen the Hidden Leaf wouldn’t be easy. And it was obvious this was exactly Yamato’s reasoning for coming here.

With a deep inhale, Yamato followed Kakashi into his apartment and closed the door behind him. Anxious energy welled up in him, worse than he felt when heading into a fight. Unlike in battle, Yamato’s opponent wasn’t the physical manifestation of the man standing in front of him. It was the figurative wall carefully built by the man he loved, which silenced emotions begging to be released.

“Kakashi, I’m sorry,” Yamato whispered into the dead silence of the dark apartment space.

They were three simple words meant to extend comfort, but falling painfully short. It wasn’t just Asuma Kakashi had lost today. His death was another link on the ever-growing chain of Kakashi’s fallen loved ones. It reminded Yamato painfully of Kakashi’s struggle in their ANBU days with grieving the losses of his childhood genin team. Worse than the memories this death spurred from Kakashi’s past, or the present pain of death sinking in and taking hold, it illuminated the reality of Kakashi’s fears for the future. Yamato knew that in Kakashi’s mind, losing Asuma was only the beginning. He expected to lose more to the Akatsuki. Maybe even members of Team Kakashi.

Yamato had to be here not to express his sympathy for Asuma right now, but to assure Kakashi that his team wasn’t going anywhere. _Yamato_ wasn’t going anywhere.

Yamato followed Kakashi and seized him by the collar of his jonin vest with both hands. He forced him to look Yamato in the eyes. He made Kakashi feel his presence, made him _root_ himself in the present, not in the dismal past or the lonely future he foresaw. Kakashi tore free of his grasp, scoffing as he pushed Yamato away.

Yamato held fast to the material slipping from his grasp, snapping it to bring Kakashi face to face with him. “Kakashi!”

_“Drop_ it,” Kakashi growled, his gaze darkening. “I mean it.”

“No,” Yamato said, lowering his voice, pinning Kakashi with a glare.

Movement came with a rush of air, the slap of skin on skin, and then a grasp was closing on Yamato’s wrist.

He was on his knees, his wrist twisted in Kakashi’s gloved hand, looking up at Kakashi’s narrowed gray eye before he realized what had happened. He grunted at the sharp pain shooting up his arm.

“Kakashi!” Yamato snarled.

He lunged, working his wrist free and knocking Kakashi to the wood floor before Kakashi had another chance to strike out at him. Yamato heard the air dispel from Kakashi’s lungs as his chest hit the floor. The ground was hard and cold beneath his hand, but Yamato leaned his palm into it as he pressed his other hand on Kakashi’s spine with all his strength. He felt Kakashi tremble violently beneath him. Kakashi’s lungs expanded and contracted beneath Yamato’s hand in a staggered, stilted manner. 

Yamato settled his weight over Kakashi’s lower back and leaned into his ear. “I’m not going anywhere, Kakashi.”

Kakashi sniffed and turned away, his cheek pressing against the floor. “Tenzo.”

Tentatively, Yamato ran his free hand gently down the exposed skin on the back of Kakashi’s arm. “I’m here,” he said, expelling air that wasn’t easy to release. “I’m here.”

“Tenzo,” Kakashi rasped.

His voice shook, and when Yamato peered closer at the face carefully turned away from his view, he caught sight of Kakashi’s right eye clenched shut. His whole body seemed to contract beneath Yamato’s weight, and Yamato shifted to accommodate his movement. He wanted Kakashi to be comfortable. He was willing to open himself to another attack to give Kakashi whatever space he needed; he doubted Kakashi wanted to attack him again.

As Yamato shifted away, lifting his hips and allowing Kakashi to roll onto his back, he watched for any subtle sign of Kakashi tensing for another attack. Kakashi’s eyes were both exposed, his hitai-ate having come undone and slid onto the floor in their tussle. Both eyes, red and gray, were fixed on Yamato. Kakashi’s shoulders were relaxed. His hands remained still by his sides. Yamato was in no danger.

“My friend’s gone,” Kakashi said, his voice as cold and flat as his eyes. He gave a shrug. “I’m used to it.”

Yamato slid over him, enjoying the hitch of Kakashi’s breath as Yamato’s warmth washed over him. He let his weight sink steadily over the length of Kakashi’s body. He reached for Kakashi’s hand, curling their fingers together. There was no responsiveness there at first, but when Kakashi’s fingers twitched against his knuckles, Yamato smiled.

“You don’t have to be,” Yamato said, licking his lips as his eyes fixed on the material masking Kakashi’s frown. “Used to it, I mean.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes. “Yama-”

Yamato silenced him by putting a hand to that mask, effectively sealing Kakashi’s lips as he tugged on the edge of the fabric. “I like it when you call me Tenzo.”

Kakashi groaned and recoiled like a stubborn brat, shaking his head as Yamato descended for a kiss. Their lips met just as the fabric slid free, barely exposing Kakashi’s lower lip. The brush of cotton against Yamato's lip was unexpected, but the chapped lips were exactly as Yamato expected them to feel. It had been so long, and yet kissing Kakashi again felt incredibly comfortable and familiar. 

It was also invigorating. 

Yamato’s heart raced when Kakashi moved his lips, licking Yamato’s lips moist before pressing a sharp edge of teeth into them, punctuating the decisive action with a moan. When Yamato pulled back, Kakashi chased his lips. Yamato’s heart thrummed as he squeezed Kakashi’s hand. He would’ve loved to continue kissing Kakashi, but he had to make sure he was all right first.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he reiterated, keeping his gaze locked with Kakashi’s so Kakashi would read his certainty. The Sharingan couldn’t be fooled. “The _team’s_ not going anywhere. You think with how hard Naruto’s working, how far he’s come, he would let anything like that happen?”

Kakashi averted his gaze. “You can’t know that.”

Yamato lifted Kakashi’s chin with his fingers, gently yielding until he saw reluctant eyes lighting on him again. “You said it yourself. You believe in him. Remember?”

Kakashi’s brows knitted together, and all at once, the coldness dissipated from his face to be replaced by a look of overwhelming sadness. His eyes watered as he held Yamato’s gaze and squeezed his hand. In that moment, Kakashi looked more beautiful than Yamato had ever seen him. With his emotions bared, position vulnerable, mismatched eyes moist, and bottom lip trembling, the usual attraction of his silver hair and eye-catching jawline was intensified.

Kakashi’s grip around Yamato’s fingers became impossibly tight. “I can’t lose you, too.”

Yamato leaned forward and brushed his lips against Kakashi’s, just shy of a kiss. He wished he could assure Kakashi in a way he would believe that there was nothing to fear, but in the ninja world, no one was truly safe. With the Akatsuki out there, seeking Naruto, too many people close to them were at risk. Even _within_ the supposed safety of their village, there were those who needed to be feared. It was only by luck and perhaps the bonds of their team that Sai had not broken them the way Danzo had intended him to. Yamato hadn’t forgotten Danzo’s agenda regarding Kakashi’s team. He couldn’t blame Kakashi for fearing the worst for the people he loved with danger constantly moving in from all sides. Yamato was both honored and ashamed to be a part of that fear. He would take it away from Kakashi if he could.

But he couldn’t.

He kissed Kakashi, cupping his cheek in his hand, sending all of his emotions through the kiss. He hoped Kakashi could feel it. Yamato had no way of _knowing_ he and the team would remain safe, but he could do everything in his power to make sure Kakashi never experienced loss like that again.

Kakashi’s breath quickened just before a hand slid into the opening of Yamato’s vest. Sure and powerful fingers ran over the contours of Yamato’s chest through the fabric of his undershirt. Yamato moaned at the caress and unzipped Kakashi’s vest, wanting to see more of him. Kakashi tore Yamato’s vest away and tugged the material of his undershirt over his head, his movements stilted and hasty. Kakashi wanted sex. There was no way Yamato was going to deny him.

With quick, forceful tugs, Yamato worked Kakashi free of his pants and shed his own while Kakashi dragged him closer and mouthed at his neck. His sucking and biting sent shivers down Yamato’s spine. Yamato’s body thrummed with anticipation when Kakashi tugged Yamato toward the bed. Yamato noticed, past the stunning view of Kakashi’s bare ass, Kakashi swiping something off the bedside table. When he sank onto the mattress, pulling Yamato down with him, Yamato reached into Kakashi’s hand and pried the small bottle from his fingers.

“It’s-it’s been awhile,” Kakashi said as he laid back.

Yamato closed his eyes, suppressing the ungodly groan trying to claw its way from his throat as he was provoked by the sight of Kakashi’s pale, ripped body spread out naked before him. His erection pulsed with the desire to be inside Kakashi’s tight heat. He squeezed lube into his palm and wrapped his hand around Kakashi’s rigid cock laid across his abdomen. The moan that first stroke pulled from Kakashi’s lips was like heaven to Yamato’s ears.

“Fuck, Kakashi,” Yamato said as he shifted his hand to slide a finger between Kakashi’s legs.

The lube made the digit slide easily past resistance and Yamato was quick to couple it with another finger. As he spread Kakashi open, Kakashi arched his back and hissed through clenched teeth. Yamato began to slow, thinking he was moving too fast, but the moment he eased off, Kakashi growled.

“Fuck me,” Kakashi said, his voice full of urgency.

Yamsto exhaled. “You said it’s been a-“

Kakashi sprang forward, bounding from the mattress and knocking Yamato back. As Yamato gasped and clutched the bedspread, seeking purchase and stability amidst a soft, giving surface, Kakashi growled and swooped in for a kiss. Yamato gulped, trying to regain the air lost to the suddenness of Kakashi’s attack sealing his lips. He was shocked by another sensation. Tight, pervasive heat surrounded his cock as Kakashi sank down on him. As Kakashi hissed into his lips, Yamato cried out and held Kakashi by the hips. He didn’t know whether to hold Kakashi back or to guide him further down so he could sheathe his entire length inside Kakashi’s heat.

When Kakashi made the decision _for_ him, sinking slowly as he straddled Yamato’s hips, Yamato’s eyes rolled back in his head. The wet friction was _incredible._ The pressure around his cock was like nothing he’d ever felt before, or maybe it had just been that long since the last time he’d topped anyone. Yamato felt an overwhelming desire to pull back and thrust, hard and fast. But he wanted to give Kakashi time to adjust, in spite of Kakashi’s apparent decision that he didn’t need it.

To quell the urge to drive himself deeper into Kakashi, Yamato brought his fist to his mouth and sank his teeth into it, growling around his skin. Kakashi trembled on top of him, his arms taut and flexed, bracing his weight with Yamato’s chest. His breathing was ragged and a developing layer of sweat made his skin glisten. Silver hair cascaded over his face, hiding his eyes, but Yamato saw the parting of his kiss-swollen lips. Yamato flexed his abs, holding himself back as the urge to thrust seized him again. He dug his fingers into Kakashi’s hips.

“What are you waiting for?” Kakashi taunted.

The words were like a trigger.

Yamato sat up, taking Kakashi with him and rolling him onto his back in one swift, succinct movement. He pulled his hips back and locked his eyes with Kakashi. Kakashi’s throat bobbed in a slow swallow as he wrapped his arms and legs around Yamato, and then pulled him closer. As every part of their bodies came together, Yamato slid inside Kakashi, filling him to the hilt. Kakashi held him like he would never let go. 

Yamato eased his hips back and when he sank back into Kakashi, the sound of their skin slapping together was almost as gratifying as the friction that caressed his cock. Kakashi moaned, his voice a deep, velvety timbre in Yamato’s ear. 

“Tenzo,” Kakashi said into his neck, and it was like a whisper - soft, but desperate. “Tenzo.”

Yamato moaned as he pulled back again, aching to bury himself completely inside Kakashi repeatedly, but now also going weak at the reverent use of his name.

When Yamato slid inside Kakashi again, he felt moisture rub off Kakashi’s cheek, wetting his face. He heard the rush of air leaving Kakashi’s lungs with Kakashi’s repeated use of his name, like a mantra. Kakashi ground his hips up to meet Yamato at every thrust, both of them increasing the pace until it became a frenzied battle of lovemaking Yamato couldn’t - and didn’t want to - escape.

If Kakashi’s breath hitched before he coated Yamato’s stomach with his warm cum, and if his cheeks were glistening with tears when Yamato pulled away to meet his glassy eyes before he, too, would ride out his climax, Yamato wouldn’t say anything about that. He would only let his weight fall on Kakashi, let his eyes drift shut, and make sure Kakashi knew he wasn’t going anywhere.

Ironic that he should wake up to find Kakashi gone.

* * *

All that was left to remind Yamato of their encounter when he opened his eyes to sunlight streaming in through the blinds of his window were the rustled sheets, his dispelled clothing on the floor, the stench of sex in the air barely lingering amidst the soap and aftershave from Kakashi’s shower, and a note on the bedside table. 

  
He was sorry to leave like this, Kakashi had written. Of course, coming from Kakashi, that meant everything and nothing at all. He’d written that he hoped Yamato could understand...and possibly forgive him. _That_ was the concerning part. Kakashi’s vague explanation for leaving without saying goodbye was that there was something he had to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I post supplemental material to this fic as much as possible on my tumblr (like that Asuma and Yamato video), so if you’re not following, you might want to go there (same as my author name here). Lots of great Kakayama art too, among other things, because there are so many artists out there making amazing art for this ship. Thank you for continuing to follow and leave comments! I love to know what you think, what parts you’re enjoying 🙂


	9. A Small Victory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the wonderful reviews on that last chapter! You all really made my week. I hope this isn’t too soon to update, but I’m already working on the next chapter and not having this one posted yet is messing with my head, so here it is!

Yamato joined Naruto _alone_ an hour later on the training grounds, in spite of some hefty internal turmoil.

He had no solid explanation for Naruto regarding Kakashi’s absence, but that was easily waved away in the guise of his usual tardiness. Yamato had pondered all morning over where Kakashi had disappeared to, and his walk here had offered some solid clues. Every morning of this routine until today, Yamato had passed the flower shop to see Ino Yamanaka through the window, and he would see Choji Akimichi eating his outdoor breakfast. Today, he’d seen no trace of Asuma’s students. Instead, he’d caught a glimpse of Sakura on her way to the hokage’s tower. Her usual position was at the training grounds with Sai, ready to watch more of Naruto’s progress. Yamato knew she’d been summoned by Lady Tsunade - and no doubt, it had to do with Kakashi. None of this would bode well, Yamato predicted, but he’d offered Naruto a confident smile, clapped his hands together, and suggested they get back to work, just the two of them. Naruto already knew what he needed to do.

Yamato wasn’t surprised at all when Sakura joined them at the training ground with determination written on her face, telling them she had news from the hokage. He _was_ slightly surprised when Sakura informed them that Kakashi had left in the night with Team Ten to face the two Akatsuki who’d killed Asuma.

“I see,” Yamato said.

He tried not to show his subordinates that there was any reason he should be more concerned about this revelation than they were. After giving himself a moment to let a surge of anger rush through him like a geyser and dispel with no expression beyond a tightly clenched jaw, he regretfully _understood_ Kakashi’s need to step in and help. If Team Asuma intended to go after these Akatsuki who were powerful enough to take down a jonin like Asuma Sarutobi, surely they would be in need of Kakashi’s expert assistance. Yamato was sure if _anyone_ could lead them to victory, it was Kakashi. But he didn’t have to like it. _He_ wanted to do something, too. He sure as _hell_ wanted to be informed of what Kakashi was doing before having to hear it from one of Kakashi’s student.

Suspecting there was a more pressing reason for Sakura’s report, he added, “And what did Lady Tsunade say about _us?”_

“She agrees that we’d be the best squad to supply backup. She also said,” Sakura said, turning her gaze to Naruto, “in order for her to send us, Naruto will have to master his new jutsu - and quickly.”

Naruto grunted and looked at his hand. “Master the new jutsu, huh?”

“Yeah, she says you’ve got the next twenty-four hours to wrap it up. Otherwise she’ll go ahead and dispatch another squad.”

Yamato rubbed his chin. “Just twenty-four hours. Huh.”

As Yamato thought of all the possibilities, all the barriers in the way of Naruto’s mastery and how he could possibly work through them in twenty-four hours or less, Naruto set a determined stride toward the bench a few feet away, where Sakura’s basket of food pills from yesterday still sat.

“Naruto?” Sakura gasped as Naruto dug his hand into the food pills, bringing a handful to his mouth. “Wait, you don’t want to eat that!”

Naruto chomped on a mouthful, his eyes watering as he swallowed down the bitter food pills Yamato had had the displeasure of sampling during a tired and desperate moment the other day. With a hefty swig of water, Naruto washed it all down before turning to Yamato with a determined fire in his bright blue eyes.

“Okay, Captain Yamato,” he said. “What are we waitin’ for? Let’s get to work.”

And Naruto was _serious._

He worked like Yamato had never seen him work before, pushing them _both_ beyond the brink of exhaustion. It took some of Sakura’s medical ninjutsu to restore their energy just to keep them going with the rigid timeline they’d set. It was a long day with hardly any conversation and hardly any rest, aside from that taken to educate Naruto on the matchups of chakra natures and how they compared in battle, which Naruto _somehow_ took to mean he was a perfect match for Sasuke. 

The entire team had one fact hanging heavy over their heads - Kakashi was already engaged with the two dangerous and extremely powerful Akatsuki. His team would need them as backup. They _needed_ Naruto to master this, because their lives were on the line - Kakashi’s _and_ Team Asuma’s. Though their side already knew the dangers of the Akatsuki who killed Asuma, they still had no idea what kinds of powers his partner possessed. There was no telling how Kakashi, Shikamaru, Ino and Choji were faring. Yamato fought past the tension and fear thrumming through him the entire day, forbidding himself from thinking the worst - from thinking of Kakashi returning from that encounter the same way Asuma had. 

He refused to play the hypocrit and let himself believe it could all end now after assuring Kakashi _he_ had no reason to entertain those same fears. Yamato wouldn’t let it happen. Not now, not when they’d reunited and finally decided to be honest with each other.

Once Naruto worked past the bruises his battered body was taking to fire the mastered, powerful, newly-named Rasen-shuriken with its first consecutive hits, they set off. They didn’t stay to perfect the technique, which was certainly powerful, but could’ve used more time for the mastery of its wielding. Kakashi’s team didn’t have that kind of time, though. Yamato led his team using the tracking seeds he’d left on Kakashi. He’d known even before confronting Kakashi about Asuma better than to expect Kakashi to stay out of harm’s way. He was glad he hadn’t doubted his decision to keep track of him. 

* * *

They were _almost_ too late.

Yamato’s eyes had grown to the size of saucers at the sight of brilliant orange heat expanding through the trees and catapulting directly for Kakashi‘s location. There was no time to hesitate or take in any other clues from their surroundings. Naruto was already in action, sprinting forward and forming his rasengan. Yamato joined him, sending water chakra to counter the fire in a way wind wouldn’t. Their combined technique was a force too powerful for the Akatsuki’s attack, which dispelled inside the hurricane vortex created by Yamato and Naruto.

Once Yamato was able to see past the smoke and the immediate danger had been quelled, he breathed a sigh of relief at spotting Kakashi’s handsome but haggard face in the clearing. Ino Yamanaka and Choji Akimichi stood behind him, while in front of them stood a masked monster, presumably one of the two Akatsuki they’d come to fight. Notably missing from the scene were Shikamaru Nara and the Akatsuki’s partner, but any questions Yamato had about their positions would have to wait. 

Kakashi and the others weren’t standing of their own volition. Strapping them in place were bindings of taut gray wires sprouting from the ground, which snapped when the Akatsuki wielding them stumbled back from the shockwave of the hurricane vortex. Across the battlefield, that same writhing gray substance jutted from every limb and orifice of the Akatsuki’s misshapen body, like masses of cilia.

They really _were_ almost too late.

Naruto seemed to know this, too.

While Yamato wrestled away the panicked feeling building in his chest, he and his team jumped between the Akatsuki and Kakashi’s battered team, forming a wall of protection. Sakura and Sai were just as ready to join in the fight, but it was Naruto’s powerful new technique they would need. It was Yamato’s cool head and leadership Kakashi needed to help him get through this alive.

“Sorry we’re late,” Naruto said, “but better late than never.”

Kakashi sighed behind them, his low voice sounding like music to Yamato’s ears. “Perfect timing.”

“Yeah,” Choji groaned. “Let’s hear it for the cavalry.”

“Sakura,” Ino said breathily. “Naruto. And Sai!”

Yamato glanced over his shoulder, skimming his eyes over Kakashi. Kakashi’s clothes were half torn-off, his jonin vest and gloves completely decimated; even his mask was torn to reveal a sliver of cheek. He looked about as beaten down as Yamato had ever seen him. He had to be dipping into the reserves of his chakra. Yamato could see it in the way his shoulders sagged with every breath.

“I’ve never seen you so disheveled, Kakashi.” _Not on the battlefield, anyway._

“One of those days,” Kakashi said.

“The enemy must be powerful, indeed,” Yamato drawled, knowing any typical foe would _never_ wear Kakashi down like this.

“Perfect,” said the Akatsuki disdainfully, narrowing eerie green eyes at Naruto. “Another weirdo to deal with. But this one’s already banged up a bit.”

“Naruto,” Choji said while Ino’s worried eyes scanned Naruto’s training injuries, “are you sure you’re okay?”

“Where’s Shikamaru?”

“He’s dealing with the other enemy by himself a little further away.”

“Two of you head over and assist him,” Kakashi said while forming the seals for summoning over Yamato’s shoulder. “A long distance fighter and a medic. He’s gonna need you.”

Pakkun appeared, gruffly assuring the team they could leave it to him. At Yamato’s command, Sai and Sakura took off with Pakkun to find Shikamaru. Here, they needed Naruto to take this guy down. The Akatsuki looked ready. As the monstrous ninja taunted Naruto, Naruto remained unshaken, steadfast and determined. Yamato knew he would put his training to good use. He only hoped Naruto wasn’t _too_ eager, where he might end up doing something reckless.

The moment Pakkun, Sakura and Sai disappeared, Kakashi gasped. “He’s perfected it?”

“No,” Yamato sighed, reluctant to disappoint Kakashi - they’d only had so much time to come _this_ far. “It only works half the time.”

“I see.”

“Although,” Yamato said, shooting Kakashi a smile while Naruto weaved the signs for his shadow clones. “Well, just keep watching. Trust me. He’s come a long way.”

When two more Narutos appeared, the Akatsuki narrowed his eyes. “Shadow clones, huh? So. You’re the nine tails jinchuriki.”

“Kakashi,” Yamato said as the predatory look on the Akatsuki’s face spurred an alarm in him, “bring us up to speed on what we’re dealing with here. What’s the rundown?”

“Both our opponents are Akatsuki. Shikamaru splintered off with one of them, leaving the rest of us to handle this guy. He’s able to split into multiple entities. See those two masks?”

Yamato saw them, all right. Painted porcelain stitched into the writhing mass of gray squirming on either side of the Akatsuki’s head. The masks flanked his eerie green eyes.

“Not only can they detach, but each one has its _own_ beating heart and can act autonomously. He originally started out with five in total. But now he’s down to three.”

Yamato peered over his shoulder, not wanting to take his eyes off the Akatsuki. “So two of them have been…”

“That’s right,” Kakashi said. “We’ve killed him twice already, and he won’t go down for good until we get the other three. Plus, he’s a mid-distance fighter, using several different changes in chakra nature.”

Yamato’s frown deepened with each strength listed. He realized this was _exactly_ why Kakashi had his hands full. He raised his voice, calling Naruto’s name with urgency. It was time for Naruto to shine. He had to show Kakashi that they’d accomplished what he’d started in his absence. Yamato knew he could do it.

“Yeah, yeah, I heard,” Naruto said as he and his clones charged at the Akatsuki.

“Naruto, don’t!” Choji yelled.

“A head-on attack won’t work on this guy!” Ino cried.

After Naruto’s first clones were taken down easily by the Akatsuki, the group watched as Naruto took his time to think things through, then produced more clones. The clones produced a new Rasen-shuriken, filling the forest with the high-pitched trill Yamato had grown used to in the past hours. The chakra spinning wildly in Naruto’s hands held enough power for everyone to _feel_ it. Even the Akatsuki seemed concerned. Naruto and his clones charged for the attack again, the Akatsuki took down each clone until the real Naruto hit him with the Rasen-shuriken, and then...nothing happened. The Akatsuki moved toward Naruto.

“It failed,” Yamato said.

Kakashi darted forward, calling over his shoulder, “Yamato!”

“Right!” Yamato formed a wood technique to cover his teammates’ vulnerable spots by thrusting it toward their opponent.

While the Akatsuki threatened to take Naruto’s heart, wrapping him in those pervasive gray cords, Yamato speared him with his wood beam, and Kakashi used his lightning blade to sever the fibers winding around Naruto. Yamato sprouted more wood beams from his arm and sent them toward the Akatsuki, but the enemy dodged every attack. While Naruto recuperated, Yamato listened to Ino and Choji’s criticism of the failed technique.

“The name is deceiving,” Yamato replied to Choji’s claim that a _shuriken_ attack should be hurled at the enemy. “The Rasen-shuriken is meant to be a frontal attack. A distraction is needed. Like the shadow clones.”

“The problem is,” Kakashi said, catching on quickly, “it burns too quickly. It only lasts a few seconds.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

Yamato noted the look on Naruto’s face becoming more and more disgruntled as everyone picked apart his technique. His frustration from their days spent in training was apparent. Yamato held a brief debate with Kakashi over the danger of Naruto trying again. He couldn’t overlook considering the five to one advantage Kakashi brought up. There was no reason Naruto needed to endanger himself with attempting another solo attack. And yet, when Naruto pleaded with Kakashi to let him do this on his own, Kakashi seemed moved. He stood from where he’d knelt on the ground, and turned to face Yamato.

“What do you say, Yamato?”

“Well, Kakashi,” Yamato said, unable to hide his smile, “I have yet to see just how much Naruto _has_ changed.”

Yamato was ready for this. Naruto was ready.

“Well there we are, then,” Kakashi said.

Kakashi was ready.

* * *

Apparently, the Akatsuki wasn’t going to give Naruto the chance to improvise. He morphed his entire appearance, the dense tendrils of gray fibers lengthening from his body as he exuded a massive amount of chakra - his defense against Naruto’s powerful Rasen-shuriken. Naruto pushed forward, nevertheless.

Yamato worried for him, but he had to have faith in Naruto. He saw that Kakashi had faith, and Kakashi hadn’t even seen the results of Naruto’s training like Yamato had. He _knew_ what Naruto could do. He knew how powerful this technique was. Naruto only needed to land it. Yamato gritted his teeth and watched as Naruto formed a Rasen-shuriken with his shadow clones. His clones surge toward the enemy while the Akatsuki leapt through the air, bounding high and _over_ the shadow clones.

Kakashi gasped and stepped forward. “I knew he’d go for a long-range attack!”

The Akatsuki was going for the Naruto who was wielding the attack. What the enemy _didn’t_ know, was that behind him, another Rasen-shuriken was forming. Yamato just barely recognized its glow past the quivering masses of gray spiraling from the Akatsuki’s limbs, and barely heard it over the identical attack still being wielded by the clone closest to them. 

Naruto was going to _do_ it.

The Akatsuki realized this when his counter-attack landed and his target disappeared in a puff of smoke. 

He was too late to avoid the attack that came for him from behind. As the whirring noise of Naruto’s attack crescendoed and casted blinding light across the battlefield, the Akatsuki went up in a massive explosion of power. The impact created a shockwave, nearly blowing all of them into the trees. The Akatsuki and his extra hearts imploded until his limp body crashed into the crater made by the force of the Rasen-shuriken.

Naruto fell too, gave them a thumbs up, smiled at the look of amazement in Kakashi’s eyes, and sighed, laying flat on the ground. When Ino and Choji ran to him, concerned for the fact that he wasn’t moving, Yamato looked to Kakashi, who was staring right back at him.

They couldn’t talk here. But the look in Kakashi’s eyes was full of apology, a plea for Yamato’s understanding. Kakashi could’ve _died_ fighting two Akatsuki with Asuma’s team. He’d left without a word, knowing he could’ve left Yamato in the same way so many people had left him. Yamato should have been angry. But he suspected Kakashi _knew_ things would turn out this way. Asuma’s team planned on doing this, regardless. Kakashi staying out of it would’ve only endangered those three; he likely was a large part of the _reason_ for their success up to the point of Yamato’s team’s arrival. Yamato should’ve been angry with Kakashi, but right now, he was happy they were all alive, and proud of Naruto for what he’d accomplished in such a short amount of time. Yamato gave Kakashi a smile to tell him as much, and a warmth settled over him when the strain around Kakashi’s eyes softened.

As his friends tended to Naruto’s wounds and told him how amazed they were that he thought to hide his true self within his shadow clones, Yamato let Naruto know how impressed he was that he managed to fire off _three_ of those attacks. During training, he’d only been able to manage two, and even then, it had been hit or miss. Naruto looked proud. He deserved to be. But Ino and Choji weren’t wrong. His injuries needed to be looked at beyond the field medic work Ino was able to perform here.

“Kakashi!” Yamato called. “Time to move.”

Their eyes met, and for a moment, Yamato was transported to the past, back to their ANBU days. They’d been through scenarios like this together so many times that no other communication was needed, not words, not hand gestures, not even a nod, for Kakashi’s eyes to tell Yamato _exactly_ what he was about to do. 

They both knew it had to be done. That Akatsuki was too dangerous to be left to his own devices, even hanging by a thread as he was now. Kakashi could finish him without hesitation, except it was better if the rest of the team didn’t see it. That part of his past was molded to him, impossible to let go of completely, but not something he wanted to associate with _this_ team the way he would always associate it, to some extent, with the first team he’d shared with Yamato.

“Yeah,” Kakashi agreed.

As Kakashi turned away, Yamato turned to herd the three students remaining on the battlefield from the kill site. “Okay, everyone. We’re heading back to the Leaf Village.”

“Where’s Kakashi-sensei?” Ino said.

“Tying up loose ends.”

Yamato tilted his head to block the curious look Naruto shot past his shoulder. With a smile, Yamato disarmed whatever inkling of concern he saw blossoming on Naruto’s weary face. It worked, or seemed to, at least, as they turned for the village. Naruto walked with his arm slung over Choji for the support his shoulder offered. Shortly after, they were rejoined by Sakura and the others while Kakashi stayed behind. Upon arriving at the Leaf Village, they reported to the Hokage.

* * *

Kakashi rejoined the team in Lady Tsunade’s office. Yamato feared for the darkness he might find returning to Kakashi’s eyes after the act he’d just committed, but was relieved when he caught a trace of a smile edging along Kakashi’s tattered mask.

When Lady Tsunade gave Naruto strict orders to report to the hospital, and the rest of them to take a few days off to recuperate, Yamato knew Naruto’s injuries were more severe than they should have been. He exchanged a glance with Kakashi when they left the office, wishing he could be excited for the few days they could spend together in the village, but too worried about Naruto to feel anything but wariness. 

Kakashi looked like he felt exactly the same way.

* * *

With very few words, they separated from the team and found their way back to Yamato’s apartment. They’d grabbed a bite to eat along the way, but neither Yamato nor Kakashi had the appetite they _should’ve_ had after such a fight following on the heel of multiple days of intense training. Naruto’s hospitalization was a dark cloud hanging over them while they picked at the food they brought back to the apartment. Yamato licked his lips, pressed his food aside on his kitchen counter, and decided now that they were alone, it was about time he opened a _new_ subject.

He cleared his throat. “So, no goodbye? That was classy.”

Kakashi blinked slowly before meeting Yamato’s gaze with a look that warned him to tread carefully while also _encouraging_ him to continue.

Yamato snorted. “I get it, okay? _I get it,”_ he repeated insistently, responding to the judgmental look spawning in Kakashi’s eyes, “which is why you should have _told_ me where you were going.”

Kakashi let out a choked grunt. “You wouldn’t have-“

“No,” Yamato said, narrowing his eyes. “No, I wouldn’t have stopped you. If you hadn’t left like you did, Hidan and Kakuzu could still be out there. They could still be coming for Naruto.”

Kakashi’s eyes darkened as he set his food aside, sliding it beside Yamato’s. “The Akatsuki is still coming for him. And Sasuk-“

Yamato slid into Kakashi’s space, distracting him, refusing to let him complete that sentence. He slid his hand over the soft fabric pooled around Kakashi’s neck, to touch the heated skin that had been bared since they started eating. He brushed his thumb along the gritty stubble of Kakashi’s jaw and watched his lips part as his breath hitched.

“We have a few days off, Kakashi,” Yamato said, breathing into the warm crook of Kakashi’s pale neck. “Let’s not let it go to waste.”

Kakashi shifted away from him. “How can we just - we both _know_ something’s not right with Na-“

Yamato slid his lips down Kakashi’s neck, and then as Kakashi exhaled, he licked across Kakashi’s throbbing pulse. His skin tasted salty with a residual tang of ash, but beneath it was a scent that was enticingly all Kakashi. As Yamato sucked, pulling pliant skin with his tongue, he didn’t have to wonder why Kakashi had gone silent. Yamato had said everything he needed to say - for now. He was sure Kakashi received his message loud and clear: Yamato didn’t want anything kept hidden from him. This new relationship wasn’t the same as being ANBU teammates. Kakashi was learning the difference slowly, but Yamato was willing to be patient; to take all the time he needed to show him.

Kakashi’s hands fell to Yamato’s hips, grasping and squeezing through his uniform before his hips bucked against Yamato’s. Yamato moaned at the friction against his cock, wanting to feel more of Kakashi’s heat. The hardness he felt pressing against his abdomen made his mouth water. He sucked harder on Kakashi’s skin. And then he didn’t want his _neck_ anymore.

He pulled away to look into Kakashi’s eyes and find a heavy-lidded gray eye looking back at him. “Let me suck your cock.”

Kakashi’s eye rolled back as his gloved hands fell to the waistband of his pants. Yamato licked his lips as he watched Kakashi’s fingers fumble, his body go rigid, and his posture turn into a miserable slouch.

Kakashi shot a glare at the door. “What now?”

Yamato followed his gaze. He felt his lip pull back in an unbidden snarl when he heard the footsteps, and then a second later, a knock at his door. “Dammit.”

“Shizune,” Kakashi whispered as he adjusted his pants.

Yamato fixed his waistband and pressed his erection flush against his abdomen. The jonin vest was long enough to pull over the bulge in his pants, but not enough to conceal it completely. Fortunately, the realization that Shizune was here and the reasoning that it had to be important enough for her to disturb his evening after a hard fight was making it go down quickly.

He met Kakashi’s open eye. “What do you think…”

Kakashi shrugged and waved Yamato toward the door. By the time Yamato opened it to see Shizune with her hands folded in front of her, Kakashi’s masked nose was already buried in the book Yamato didn’t even think he had on hand.

“Yamato. Lady Tsunade has-“ Shizune flicked her gaze past Yamato’s shoulder. “Ah. I’m glad I found you both here. Lady Tsunade requires your presence too, Kakashi.”

Yamato didn’t have to follow the shift in Shizune’s calculating gaze to know when Kakashi stepped behind him. 

“What’s happened, Shizune?” Yamato said.

Shizune’s lips pulled into a smile that somehow managed to be wicked and demure at the same time. “I hope I’m not...interrupting anything.”

Yamato felt heat rising to his cheeks, joined with the urge to shield his pelvis before Shizune decided to seek evidence of her suspicion. Kakashi shoved Yamato aside before he could do that, which succeeded to ward off Shizune’s leering more effectively. It also made Yamato flush for a different reason as he stumbled against the door jamb and glared at the back of Kakashi’s stupid head of silver hair, still disheveled from his fight.

“Is it Naruto?” Kakashi asked with urgency.

“The Akatsuki, actually,” Shizune said with pursed lips, her eyes wandering between Kakashi and Yamato one more time before the spark of mischief was snuffed. “Lady Tsunade’s learned something from Kakuzu’s corpse...something you both need to see. She’s waiting for us at the coroner’s office.”

Kakashi looked back at Yamato with a widening eye. Yamato scowled, knowing this couldn’t be good. They hadn’t been back in the Hidden Leaf for even an hour and already there was a problem urgent enough that she felt the need to summon them back. Yamato gave Kakashi a curt nod, hoping to encourage him. Kakashi turned, letting Shizune lead the way to the morgue. Yamato’s door closed softly behind him as he followed, letting their brief moment of privacy close off from them with the click of the knob settling into place. 

  
As they walked, Yamato weaved in his mind a million different scenarios for what the Hokage might have to say with such urgency, and how this would affect their fight with the remaining Akatsuki.

None of them were good.


	10. Calm Before the Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to AdolescentLycan and Anannua for taking a look at this piece and helping me smooth it out before posting!

The morgue was cold.

Yamato hated it here, but like with all the things that had been cold in his ANBU days, he’d learned to tolerate it. He kept his discomfort to himself when he stepped into the room reeking of formaldehyde and steel. Lady Tsunade stood over the table where Kakuzu’s corpse laid, looking up when Kakashi closed the door behind the two of them. The only comfort Yamato found in this room was that Shizune’s assessing gaze no longer lingered here. She’d parted from them, having somewhere else to be.

“The examination isn’t complete yet,” Lady Tsunade told them before diving deeper into her findings.

As she further detailed her explanation, Yamato avoided eye contact with Kakashi, focusing strictly on the hokage’s striking gaze and the state of the corpse they were observing. Yamato didn’t see Tsunade this stern too often, but when she was, he knew to listen. She was describing the incredible effect this jutsu had on its victim, but Yamato had trouble absorbing the details with Kakashi’s presence a persistent distraction at his side. He still looked a mess from his fight, and it was  _ unfairly _ attractive. The need they’d left unfulfilled hung between them. Somehow, Yamato managed to gather that the damage they’d  _ assumed _ took down Kakuzu was much worse than originally thought.

Yamato sighed. “That’s some jutsu.”

“Poison, indeed,” Kakashi said,  _ his _ concentration helping to ground Yamato’s. “So it would be more accurate to speak in terms of concentration rather than in number of attacks.”

“And Naruto?” Yamato asked, alarmed as realization struck. “How about the one who  _ used _ the jutsu?”

“Well,” Lady Tsunade said, her voice trembling as she looked up from the body,  _ “there _ lies the problem.”

Yamato narrowed his eyes. “I see.”

Silence fell over the room. Yamato mourned the hard work Naruto had done to create a jutsu so lethal he apparently endangered himself just by  _ using _ it. Yamato knew Lady Tsunade and Kakashi felt just as disappointed. This explained why Naruto was stuck in the hospital coming home from that mission. All of his hard work -  _ their _ hard work...only to come to this conclusion.

“Kakashi!” Lady Tsunade said fiercely. “Whatever happens, don’t let Naruto try to use Rasen-shuriken again.”

Yamato gritted his teeth as Kakashi gasped. Until Lady Tsunade spoke those words, Yamato hadn’t really believed stopping the technique altogether would be necessary. Surely she would’ve found a way he could alter it, make it safer. This...this would be devastating for Naruto.

“It’s that serious?” Yamato asked hopelessly.

“I saw those same symptoms in Naruto’s right arm,” the hokage said somberly. “Not as severe, but the same. If he keeps using that jutsu, sooner or later, he’ll lose it - the ability to wield chakra.”

Yamato sighed and lowered his eyes toward the ground as he recalled the effects of Naruto’s gripping  _ chakra. _ “It’s a powerful jutsu,” he admitted. “It comes with risks.”

“Once any cell in the body has been disconnected from the chakra network, it’s beyond my ability to heal it - even with my medical ninjutsu.” Lady Tsunade narrowed honey brown eyes at both of them. “Make  _ sure _ Naruto understands that.”

When the warmth of the open air hit his skin, Yamato breathed a sigh of relief. The smell of dirt and leaves replaced the malignant hospital odor which was trapped in his nose the entire time they’d been briefed by the hokage. At times like these, with Kakashi’s sharp sensitivity to smell, Yamato understood why Kakashi wore the mask.

Yamato turned his eyes on that mask and drifted his gaze upward to one closed lid and one open eye looking back at him.

“So,” Kakashi said as he slipped his hands in his pockets.

They walked, tight-lipped and silent, as they passed some fellow shinobi. Yamato wanted to comfort Kakashi, but he didn’t know what to say. It was probably best Kakashi be the one to tell Naruto he’d been forbidden from using Rasen-shuriken, as Lady Tsunade had suggested, but it wouldn’t be easy for him.

Kakashi sighed. “Well. Have to get it over with  _ some _ time, right?”

“Yeah.” Yamato glanced sideways at him as they walked. He forged a smile. “You know, with Naruto stuck in the hospital, he can’t endanger himself  _ yet.” _

Kakashi raised his brow. “I suppose not.”

Yamato licked his lips. He rubbed the back of his head as he turned a smile on a passing woman eyeing the two of them. “So there’s no reason we should worry ourselves about it. How about you come back to my place?”

“And take over from where we left off before Shizune  _ rudely _ interrupted us?” Kakashi said teasingly.

When Yamato turned his gaze back to Kakashi, he caught the spark of heat in his dark open eye. It was fleeting, but sharp enough for Yamato to notice and shiver in reaction.

Yamato bit off the things he  _ wanted _ to say with a sharp laugh as he shoved Kakashi playfully by the shoulder. “Since when are  _ you _ in a position to judge people for their rudeness?”

“I’m always in a position to judge people, Tenzo.”

Yamato couldn’t help laughing as he shook his head and admonished him with a quiet, “Senpai.”

When he caught Kakashi’s gaze again, he found the red of the sharingan looking back at him, and a moment of tranquility in the depths of his lover’s eyes. The moment quickly disappeared behind the curve of dark lashes, exhibiting without revealing the smile on Kakashi’s face. Yamato smiled back, humming happily as they walked. It was nice walking through the village with Kakashi, knowing Kakashi enjoyed being with him. It was nice to soak up the starlight and laughter in the streets beside the person he cared most about in this world, even if that person didn’t know it yet, and even if they weren’t ready to  _ show _ it to the world. It was nice to forget about their troubles, if only for one night.

* * *

Their troubles remained forgotten. In days spent reacquainting with one another, distancing themselves from the villagers and their fellow shinobi to fill in the gaps of the years they’d spent apart, a rare peace had prevailed in their lives and made the two of them more comfortable than perhaps they should have been. 

The brief illusion of security ended one morning when Kakashi had to leave Yamato’s bed early. His brusque awakening came in the form of Pakkun appearing to inform his boss of an emergency summoning by the Hokage. Fortunately, Pakkun didn’t ask questions, like why Kakashi wasn’t sleeping in his own apartment, why he had to track his scent back here, or why they were both naked. For a dog, Pakkun was clever. He’d put the pieces together just fine without any help beyond the evident clues his nose was surely giving him. He wasn’t going to worry too much about what Pakkun might think. So after Pakkun left without so much as a goodbye and Kakashi disappeared in a cranky and grumbling plume of smoke, Yamato relaxed. His apartment was dark and quiet, his bed was soft, and with Kakashi’s scent firmly embedded in his sheets after days of use, he was easily lulled back to slumber.

The creak of Yamato’s window woke him. Sunlight brightened the darkness behind his eyelids as the chill of morning air swept through the apartment. The shuffle of movement preceded the thunk of the window sealing before Yamato’s bed shifted under an added weight.

“One thing after another,” Kakashi mumbled as knees and elbows prodded Yamato’s back and legs in Kakashi’s attempts at snuggling into him. An arm fell heavy over his shoulder and fine hairs swept across Yamato’s cheek.

Yamato didn’t respond to the open invitation to conversation. He was  _ sleeping _ and  _ enjoying _ it.

Kakashi’s masked cheek nuzzled into Yamato’s skin before a low grunt sounded in his ear - pissy and insistent. “You’re not going to ask what happened?”

Yamato sighed. “What happened?”

Kakashi’s chin pressed forward before Yamato felt the contours of his masked lips pressing against the shell of his ear. His arm wrapped snugly around Yamato’s waist and even before Kakashi spoke, Yamato knew his voice was softening. Yamato opened his eyes. This was something big.

“Orochimaru’s dead.”

Yamato blinked, his bleary eyes trying to make clarity of the blurred shapes forming in his apartment while his mind worked to make sense of what he’d just heard. 

“What?”

“He’s dead. Gone.”

“Wh-how?” Yamato pressed up on his elbow, turning to see Kakashi’s news betrayed by the sadness in his lone grey eye.

Kakashi’s arm slid around Yamato’s waist as he shifted to lock eyes with Yamato. His fingers played with the hem of Yamato’s pants, pulling on the drawstring, fiddling with insignificant threads, while Kakashi remained quiet. There was more. And Yamato wasn’t going to like it.

“This is a good thing...right?” Yamato said. “I mean...how? How could–”

“Apparently Kabuto Yakushi is still alive, but he’s fled Orochimaru’s hideout. The ANBU raided it this morning, but there was nothing of value there.”

“Nothing of value,” Yamato breathed, his heart racing as he pieced together Kakashi’s explanation to find the one missing piece. “Kakashi. Sasuke?”

“Also gone,” Kakashi said tightly.

“Gone? What do you mean g–”

_ “ _ Yamato,” Kakashi said, in his voice a warning, “no one knows where he is. They claim he’s the one who  _ killed _ Orochimaru.”

Yamato gasped. “Sasuke Uchiha?”

Kakashi nodded before squeezing Yamato’s waist and ducking his head into Yamato’s chest like it was his sanctuary. Childish, really. But still it made Yamato’s heartbeat quicken, even while his mind raced with the possibilities and implications of this development. If Sasuke killed Orochimaru, he was no longer  _ with _ him. But it would be stupid to assume he was with the Hidden Leaf now. His goal was always his brother. That wasn’t changing. Orochimaru had been a stepping stone for Sasuke, though one  _ most _ would have left alone, knowing that stepping stone’s likelihood to drop out from under them at any given moment without notice. But not Sasuke. He was in another league. The fact that he’d been able to  _ use _ one of the Legendary Sannin for his personal gain spelled more trouble in Yamato’s eyes now than they’d had when Sasuke, Orochimaru and Kabuto Yakushi had been a team. Kakashi hummed, nuzzled his face in deeper, and ran his palm down the bare skin of Yamato’s chest.

With a snort, Yamato rubbed Kakashi’s head. “C’mon. You need to talk about this.”

“Don’ wanna.”

Yamato opened his mouth, snapped it shut in a moment of doubt, and then forced the words out. “You’re sure it was Sasuke?”

“Master Jiraiya is back in the village. This is coming direct from his sources.”

Yamato jumped as Kakashi’s hand slid beneath his boxers, stroking his flaccid cock. “Kakashi!”

“Hm?”

Yamato twisted free, turned away, and kicked his legs over the bed, forcing his back to Kakashi, fighting the insistent tugs on his boxers. “Do Naruto and Sakura know?”

“They will soon. Where are you going?”

“He’s going after Itachi, isn’t he?”

Kakashi sighed heavily. “Yeah.”

“The only way we’ll have any chance of bringing Sasuke back now–”

“Is if we find Itachi Uchiha before Sasuke does.” Rustling fabrics approached Yamato until Kakashi’s jonin blues were falling over the edge of the bed alongside Yamato’s pale legs. When Yamato followed the line of those legs to Kakashi’s face, Kakashi was giving him a tired glare. “You and I both know Itachi isn’t going to just  _ let _ us find him.”

Yamato felt tension shoot up his jaw. “No.”

Itachi, like his brother, was in a league all his own. And just as unpredictable. Yamato  _ still _ couldn’t make sense of what had happened all those years ago, when the youngest member to join Team Ro had been casted out for the murder of his entire clan. Itachi was his  _ friend _ \- or so he’d thought. There was no telling what Itachi would do when Sasuke met up with him; when  _ the Leaf _ met up with him.

Kakashi rubbed his head and groaned. “It’s not going to be easy.”

Yamato glanced sideways at Kakashi. “If anyone can plan this right,  _ you _ can. That’s why Lady Tsunade told you first.”

Kakashi looked entirely unconvinced, but nodded anyway. Yamato threw an arm over his shoulder and squeezed them together. He hoped the security of his embrace gave Kakashi comfort. This had to be one of the most difficult endeavors Kakashi had faced. The other tragedies in his life he’d had no chance of correcting. Death was a very final thing. But the loss of Sasuke, his student in whom he saw so much of himself, making mistakes  _ he _ might’ve made, that was something he had a chance to correct. 

“I can help,” Yamato said carefully, rubbing his hand down Kakashi’s arm, enjoying the way Kakashi leaned into it, “if you need a second in command.”

_ “You _ just don’t want me running into the field without you again.”

“Hey,” Yamato huffed, rattled by the continuing insensitivity of this bastard. They’d  _ just _ talked about this.

“Kidding, I’m kidding,” Kakashi said. He rested a hand on Yamato’s knee, his glove soft and his fingers warm. “I was going to ask you to co-captain this mission anyway. I’ll need more people than I can manage alone and there’s no one else I’d rather…”

Yamato smiled and looked into Kakashi’s unmasked eye. “Yes?”

Kakashi sighed. He curled his fingers around the edge of his mask and tugged it down. Yamato had no time to admire the handsome face drawing near to him as Kakashi swooped in for a kiss. His lips moved across Yamato’s and then traveled down his jaw, leaving sensations in their wake that made Yamato shudder. Yamato captured Kakashi’s chin softly in his hand and drew those lips back to meet his mouth, because he hadn’t had nearly enough of that sensation. He could kiss Kakashi all day, especially when he felt emotions radiating from Kakashi like this. No one in ANBU would believe it - Cold Hearted Kakashi; expressive, tender. When his hands glided down Yamato’s skin, Yamato felt those calloused fingers touch him as if he might break. When Kakashi’s teeth and tongue clashed with his lips, Yamato felt the careful control behind each aggressive move. When Kakashi wrapped around him, lowering him to the mattress in his embrace, Yamato felt the weight of his hold, the solidity of his presence. 

He took a shuddering breath as their lips parted. “Kakashi.”

“Hm?” Kakashi pinched Yamato’s lower lip between the smooth curves of his lips.

Yamato pressed his hands to Kakashi’s chest to feel his heart hammering beneath his ribs. “You’re not just trying to get in my pants again, are you?”

“Hey,” Kakashi snarked, giving him a one-eyed glare that told Yamato he was onto him, “you  _ said _ you wanted to help me plan.”

When Kakashi’s lips descended with feather-light kisses on Yamato’s neck, he chuckled breathily. “What? How is this–”

“I think better when I’m not  _ distracted.” _

“So stop being-dis–” Yamato giggled at the fingers wiggling their way beneath his shirt.

“Can’t,” Kakashi complained as he pulled Yamato’s shirt over his head before he  _ unfairly _ lined their hips together and  _ grinded _ on Yamato. “You’re too sexy.”

At the sensation of Kakashi thick and hard against him, paired with that compliment, Yamato felt his mouth go dry. His breath hitched when he surprised  _ himself, _ rolling against Kakashi in search of more friction. He found it. And ohhh it was addicting.

“Tenzo,” Kakashi said, carding his fingers through Yamato’s hair, “I wan–”

“Fuck me,” Yamato said -  _ begged _ \- but he hoped for his own sake Kakashi didn’t catch it.

Yamato spread his thighs, letting the bulge in Kakashi’s pants press between his legs, imagining the sensations he could feel if there weren’t clothes in the way. He moaned. If Kakashi hadn’t caught on to his desperation earlier, he’d definitely given himself away now.

Kakashi pressed up on one elbow, smiling down at Yamato.  _ “Now _ you’re being helpful.”

Yamato opened his mouth to complain, but stopped short when Kakashi lifted his shirt overhead, revealing his chiseled chest and shoulders. When he shifted to work his pants down his hips, Yamato reached down and wiggled free of his own. In his haste, Yamato nearly banged his head with Kakashi’s in the process. Yamato had never been in such a hurry to get his pants off. He wanted Kakashi to spread him open and  _ fill _ him. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been doing this over the past few days, , but the tenderness of Kakashi’s approach today set Yamato’s desire on fire.

Once they were naked and settled back into position, Kakashi hummed, his baritone languid like Yamato liked it. His finger probed Yamato’s entrance and something anticipatory pulsed inside him, causing him to elicit a small gasp. Kakashi’s lips connected with Yamato’s, but it was no substitution for the tease of stimulation Yamato lost as he tolerated the shifting and harried movements of Kakashi’s hand across the bed. He slipped his hand between them, wrapping his fingers around Kakashi’s cock and stroking it to the silky tip, enjoying the way Kakashi’s weight faltered over him as he loosed a shaky exhale against Yamato’s cheek.

Kakashi pressed their lips together again, his kiss bruising and insistent, before his hand swept Yamato’s thigh and traveled to that sweet spot again. Yamato gasped against Kakashi’s lips when pressure yielded to breaching and stretching, and a brief bite of pain was followed by sweet friction. With a garbled gasp, Yamato ground down on the fingers pumping him.

“More,” he urged, seizing Kakashi by the back of his hair, nipping his lip.  _ “More, _ Senpai.”

“Tenzo,” Kakashi growled. 

He smashed their lips together as his fingers moved faster, scissoring and stretching. Yamato wrapped his fingers around Kakashi’s cock and guided him into place.

Kakashi’s breath hitched, batting against Yamato’s face. “Tenzo?”

“I’m ready,” Yamato said breathily, “I’m so ready.”

_ “Such _ a distraction,” Kakashi hissed through his teeth, sinking into Yamato with the enthusiasm of a man left waiting too long.

Yamato grunted at the suddenness of Kakashi seating deep within him, and then  _ moaned _ as Kakashi pulled back out, gliding against him and pressing on his walls. The slide of Kakashi’s sweat-dampened abdomen against his cock intensified the sensation of Kakashi inside him. Yamato wrapped his arms around Kakashi’s broad shoulders, pulled him closer, and kissed him again. All of the sensations were compounding and he didn’t know how long he’d be able to hold out, but the desire to push it further was warring with the logic that he should slow down if he wanted this to last.

With Kakashi’s next thrust, Yamato shuddered, and twitched, and knew he was coming undone too quickly.

He shook his head and pulled away from Kakashi’s descending lips. “Turn me over.”

Kakashi raised a brow. “On your knees?”

Yamato smiled. “You know you like me like that.”

The widening of Kakashi’s eyes, the crimson flash of his Sharingan, and the tremble of his lip confirmed Yamato’s assumption before Kakashi pulled out of him and pressed against his shoulder. His movements were brusque and forceful, but it only heightened Yamato’s excitement when he settled on his knees and Kakashi entered him, hard and deep.

“Fuck,” Kakashi swore as he wrapped around Yamato.  _ “Yes, _ I do.”

His thrusts came faster, harder, driving Yamato deeper into the pillows and blankets piled around him. He struggled to regain some control, but his aching desire to cum wasn’t subsiding. Fortunately, Kakashi’s movements became more stilted, his breathing sounded more labored, and his hands gripping at Yamato’s hips began to tremble against his skin.

Yamato buried his face in his pillow and stifled a scream. “Kakashi!”

Kakashi thrusted with a suddenness and shift in angle that Yamato couldn’t have braced himself for, no matter how hard he tried. The climax that had been chasing him released like a tidal wave, washing over Yamato and drowning out any coherent thought. Kakashi pulsed inside him as Yamato rode the wave, drunk on euphoria, drunk on Kakashi. Yamato vaguely registered Kakashi growling in his ear before collapsing on the bed, sprawled and relaxed.

He only dozed for a minute before awakening to the heavy weight of Kakashi on top of him. Still high and tingling, Yamato found Kakashi’s lingering presence to be the best part of the heaven his bed had become. If ninja like them ever deserved a peaceful afterlife, Yamato could only hope meeting his end would be like this.

Kakashi moved. It was swift and unexpected and before Yamato could reach his arms around him and pull him back in, Kakashi was upright with his feet over the side of the bed and Yamato’s blanket pulled over his bare shoulders.

“Where are you going?” Yamato complained as his blanket pulled off of him.

Kakashi strolled across the room without a word. Yamato sat up and watched him reach into Yamato’s desk drawers. Yamato furrowed his brows as Kakashi stood over the desk and began writing. He hoped nothing was wrong. 

“Kakashi.”

“Hm?” Kakashi said absently, his gaze fixed on the movements of his writing utensil.

Yamato sighed. “What are you doing?”

Kakashi continued writing, his brows furrowed in concentration. Just when Yamato thought he wasn’t going to answer, Kakashi said, “Planning.”

With a gasp, Yamato kicked his feet over the side of his bed. “You’ve thought of a way to find Itachi.”

“I’m working on something.” Kakashi turned his eyes to the floor before dropping Yamato’s blanket and diving for his clothes. “I need to see the hokage. Hopefully before Naruto decides to do something stupid.”

Yamato sighed, rustled his hand through his disheveled hair, and gave Kakashi’s back a fond smile while he watched him dress in full uniform. “Running off on me again, huh?”

Kakashi slipped his paper into his pocket, gave it a pat, and turned swiftly for Yamato, narrowing in on his lips. Yamato was surprised by the soft peck. It grounded him. Kakashi was heading out the door, but he’d never been more present.

“Tsunade was supposed to tell them about Sasuke before noon,” Kakashi said over his shoulder as he slipped on his sandals. “I hope I don’t miss them.”

“You? Late?” Yamato snorted. “Never.” 

“Haha,” Kakashi deadpanned as he reached for the door. “See ya.”

Yamato rolled his neck and groaned, taking his time getting up. Kakashi would be busy today with his planning. There were many parts involved in heading a mission. Yamato knew Kakashi would find him when he was ready to lay out his part. Until then, Yamato was pleased that he’d helped Kakashi find that concentration he needed. He would bask in the aftermath of their quiet days now, knowing they were not likely to see them again soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading and reviewing. I know it’s not KakaYama, but The KakaObi Mini Bang is coming this weekend and I have a piece I am excited to share for it on Sunday, so if you’re into that ship too like I am, look out for that and prepare for a very explicit laugh!


	11. Knowing Where We Stand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to adolescentlycan and to dogloser for giving this a look over for me before I posted!

A failed mission was never easy to report.

When Kakashi returned from relaying to the hokage the unhappy outcome of their mission to find Itachi Uchiha, Yamato could see the strain it reaped on Kakashi, even with all of his experience and the amount of missions he had under his belt as captain.  _ This _ mission being a failure was more personal for him than the others. For Kakashi, this wasn’t only failing the Hidden Leaf. This was failing his current genin team just like he felt he’d failed his childhood one. Failing Sakura. Failing Naruto. Failing Sasuke.

For Yamato, it was failing Kakashi.

But something beyond that was bothering Kakashi. He wouldn’t talk about it and no one else seemed to notice, but Yamato did.

Yamato had never seen anyone perform a stunt even  _ close _ to slipping through surfaces or being able to mask one’s presence from the reach of even the Leaf’s greatest trackers before that mission. But now someone could. Whoever that masked man was, it had been  _ his _ intervention that prevented the Leaf from reaching Sasuke and Itachi when they’d been about to close in on their trail. He’d used an obnoxious voice, his existence as surreal as his appearance. After Kakashi had recognized a Sharingan peeking out from his orange mask, his voice and demeanor had dropped the silly front. Yamato had caught Kakashi trembling. He hadn’t imagined it. His unshakeable captain was absolutely  _ shaken _ by what he saw behind that mask that day. 

But, at least their mission had no casualties.

_ Their _ failed mission was nothing compared to the news that followed shortly after their teams’ return to the Hidden Leaf. Yamato never thought he’d see the day that Naruto’s blinding light would fade, but it dimmed the day they heard of the great Sannin Jiraiya’s death, casting all of the Hidden Leaf village, including their hokage, under a dark shadow.

Yamato stepped aside in favor of letting Sakura and their friends lend Naruto emotional support while Yamato remained as Kakashi’s comfort, even if Kakashi claimed he didn’t need it. Perhaps he didn’t. At this point, grief fit Kakashi like a pair of well-worn shoes. He didn’t show any signs of discomfort when it came - at least not in the waking hours. Regardless, Yamato held him at night, listened to his breathing grow erratic, and shook away the dreams that occasionally disturbed his sleep. After a night of a particularly bad wave of nightmares, Shikamaru arrived in the morning at Kakashi’s door. He sought Kakashi’s help with a code left by Jiraiya after his fateful mission. Kakashi returned from that meeting quieter than usual, and frustrated. He didn’t talk about it.

Yamato gave Kakashi his space, assuming it was safe while Kakashi’s mind was busy with a challenge. That was when Yamato ran into Shizune hurrying back to the hospital. When he asked what was the hurry, she gave him a quick explanation of the autopsy they were doing on the body brought back from Jiraiya’s mission. It was this Pain who had killed him, who Yamato heard had to be incredibly powerful. Or at least, one of them. A shinobi from the Hidden Rain was also brought back by Jiraiya’s toad summons to be interrogated by Inoichi Yamanaka in the torture and interrogation facility. The rest were still out there. They still wanted Naruto. And if they’d been able to defeat Jiraiya, no one in the Hidden Leaf stood a chance against them. 

Yamato visited Kakashi’s apartment late the next morning to find him staring into the pages of one of his books, not bothering to scan his eyes across the words or turn a single page.

At the door, Yamato slipped off his sandals and cleared his throat. “Should I make lunch?”

Kakashi blinked up at him. “Y-yes. Please. Thank you, Tenzo.”

Yamato huffed a laugh. “You haven’t eaten all day, have you?”

Kakashi’s eyes darted to Yamato again. “Hm?”

Scrubbing a hand down his face, Yamato made his way into the kitchen. He reached for leftovers in the fridge, not bothering with anything which could be time- or attention-consuming. He was half-inclined to feed Kakashi soldier pills just to give him enough sustenance so they could move on with the discussion they needed to have. Whatever troubled Kakashi, he clearly needed to bounce ideas off of someone. When Yamato sat with two cold bowls of soba, Kakashi was still staring at the same page, his gaze distant, his thoughts elsewhere.

Yamato pried the book from Kakashi’s grasp and placed the soba in his hand. “Eat.”

Kakashi’s hands sank with the weight of the soba, as if it came unexpectedly. “I don’t really have an appetite.”

“Do I need to feed you?” Yamato threatened with a scowl.

Kakashi blinked, and when his uncovered eye met Yamato’s, there was finally presence there, paired with annoyance. “I’ll eat.”

Yamato watched with satisfaction as Kakashi tugged his mask down and raised the soba to his bared pink lips. He didn’t miss the way Kakashi’s eye locked on the teal cover of Makeout Tactics laid out between them. But at least he was eating with Yamato. When Yamato finished his soba, he set it aside and collected an empty bowl from Kakashi, finding Kakashi’s mask already back in place.

“Makeout Tactics, huh?” Yamato said, picking up the book under a curious guise before Kakashi could stare at it any longer. “Does this help you concentrate or something?”

Kakashi huffed. “Not on anything mission-related.”

Yamato took a breath as he skimmed through some pages. He couldn’t overlook the possibility that Kakashi was fixated on it because it was  _ Jiraiya’s _ writing. Yamato didn’t want to push, but leaving it alone wasn’t helping Kakashi. It wasn’t helping the village. Yamato gave the text a quick sweep. The prose he found were predictable. Confessions of love, dialogue that sounded like it was ripped directly from the late sannin’s vocabulary, and a lot of  _ objectification. _

Yamato snorted at one particular line. “‘Yukiko was the sexiest woman in all the lands. Her long blonde hair fell over her one-hundred and six centimeter orbs, drawing his eye down to her round ass. She winked at him and fluttered her long lashes.’  _ Kakashi–” _

“Sh,” Kakashi sharply admonished Yamato’s disapproving tone. “You’re getting to the good part. She goes down on him on the next page.”

Yamato furrowed his brow and flipped the page. “How many times have you read this?”

When Yamato found the passage starting with Yukiko getting down on her knees, Yamato realized Kakashi had taken longer than necessary to respond. His eyes darted past the top edge of the page to find Kakashi tilting his head at Yamato, considering.

“What?”

Kakashi shook his head. “N-nothing.”

At the sight of a pink blush budding over the edge of Kakashi’s mask, Yamato smiled. “Not nothing. Tell me. What do you want?”

Kakashi blew out a ragged breath. “Tenzo.”

“Do you like me reading this?” Yamato said, trying not to laugh as he wiggled the book in Kakashi’s face.

Kakashi snatched it from his hand. “I’d rather read it to you. You don’t do the words justice.”

Yamato smiled. He’d succeeded at providing Kakashi with a distraction from the mental strain he was putting on himself. But he wondered if this was really helping matters. Kakashi needed to clear his mind. He would’ve found clarity by now if Makeout Tactics alone could do that, given the hours he’d spent staring at its pages. Kakashi needed  _ more _ distraction. Yamato was more than willing to give it to him, even if Kakashi was clearly enjoying this book too much.

He bit his lip and looked into Kakashi’s eye, hoping his gaze smoldered. “Well if you’re doing the reading, what should I do?”

Kakashi’s jaw went slack as his eye slowly grew wide.

Yamato slid off the couch, to his knees, slotting himself between Kakashi’s thighs. “Senpai?”

Kakashi exhaled and reached for Yamato’s hair, carding his fingers through it with the hand that wasn’t holding his book open to the promised page. Yamato stifled a laugh, not wanting to ruin the moment for Kakashi while also feeling something fond budding in him while watching Kakashi’s excitement heighten over something so ridiculous.

Yamato set his hands on Kakashi’s knees and raised his brows. “Start reading.”

“‘Sh-she untied his drawers…’”

Yamato worked his fingers through the ties at Kakashi’s waist, finding pleasure in how red Kakashi’s face was becoming.

“‘...and’,” Kakashi’s breath hitched, “‘pulled out his rock hard meat stick.’”

“Are you rock hard?” Yamato said as he ran his palm over the solid bulge beneath Kakashi’s underwear. “Oh wow, Kakashi. You  _ are.” _

“Shut up,” Kakashi said as he shifted his hips so Yamato could pull his clothing out of the way, “I’m reading. ‘She kissed his cherry red tip.’”

Yamato wrapped his hand around the base of Kakashi’s cock and kissed his slit playfully.

Kakashi shivered. “‘And then...engulfed her lips around his throbbing love noodle.’”

Yamato pulled away to let loose the laughter bubbling from his chest, having just pursed his lips around Kakashi’s tip. Kakashi held him by the head, stopping him, before coaxing him forward.

“No laughing,” Kakashi said, his eye intently focused on the small book in his hand. “‘As she swallowed him to the hilt, she moaned.’”

Yamato sucked down the thick weight of Kakashi’s cock, trying to ignore the words, trying not to be annoyed at the insignificant fact that none of the recipient’s actions were even being  _ mentioned _ in the text. Kakashi felt delicious on his tongue. Yamato loved the stretch of it and the pressure that pulsed at the back of his throat as Kakashi inexplicably vibed with this porn.

Kakashi tugged Yamato’s hair. “You’re not moaning.”

To Yamato’s dismay, the grunt of discomfort and glare he gave to Kakashi seemed to satisfy him before Kakashi arched his hips to deepen contact. The moan pulled from Kakashi by Yamato’s throat constricting was enough to inspire Yamato to chase more reaction from him. Kakashi’s next words were enough to shock him into stillness.

“‘I really love you.’”

Yamato drooled around Kakashi’s cock as he processed the words - the impossibility of them. He looked up into Kakashi’s eye, only to find his gaze locked on his page.

“‘...said Yukiko,’” Kakashi continued, “‘as she slurped his rod until it completely disappeared down her throat.’”

Yamato withdrew with a pop before shooting Kakashi a disapproving glare. “You don’t need me to tell you how impossible that is, do you?”

“Just do your best,” Kakashi said, coaxing Yamato forward again with an eager hand. As Yamato wrapped his lips around Kakashi’s cock again, Kakashi added, “We can’t all give head like Yukiko.”

Yamato grunted his outrage before pulling back on Kakashi with an intentional scrape of teeth. Kakashi’s thighs clamped around his shoulders. Judging by Kakashi’s hiss and wince paired with that body language, Yamato’s message was relayed perfectly.

“You’re doing a  _ fantastic _ job, Tenzo,” Kakashi encouraged, probably full of shit, before he wrapped his hand around the back of Yamato’s neck and rubbed tenderly down his spine. “‘I love your mouth.’”

Yamato decided to improvise, because his  _ mouth _ loved having Kakashi in it. He swirled his tongue around the underside of his cock, swallowed it until he was gagging, and then pulled back, sucking his cheeks in around the velvety skin in his mouth. He enjoyed the way Kakashi reacted, his hips stuttering and his breathing growing erratic.

“‘I love your tongue, Yukiko. I love your gigantic breasts,’” Kakashi read with a grunt as he rocked into Yamato. “Tenzo!”

Yamato sucked harder at hearing his name, watching Kakashi’s grip loosen on his book, and then hearing the erotic sounds coming from Kakashi as he fucked Yamato’s mouth. Kakashi’s fingers dug into the skin of Yamato’s back, clawing until it hurt, but Yamato enjoyed the sensation. He swallowed Kakashi quickly before pulling back to swallow the bursts of salty cum that poured down his throat.

He rocked back on his heels as he let Kakashi’s cock slip from his lips. Wiping a stray drop from his chin, Yamato looked up at Kakashi. Kakashi had the book resting on his clothed thigh and his mouth hanging open as his labored breathing slowed.

Yamato sat on the couch beside him. “Good?”

Kakashi’s eye drifted to meet him as he gave an emphatic groan. “Amazing. I am going to make you cum until you  _ cry _ tonight for that.”

Yamato perked a brow. “Why not now?”

Reading the way Kakashi’s dark gaze smoldered, Yamato leaned in for a kiss, pulling down Kakashi’s mask just before their lips touched. It was sloppy and lazy, his lips utterly stretched from being wrapped around Kakashi, his tongue coated with the lingering taste of him. Kakashi fell into the kiss like silk wrapping around a form. But then his hand cupped Yamato’s cheek, gentle but forceful, and he was pulling away, lifting his mask back into place.

Kakashi’s eye drifted to the open cover of the book spread open on his lap. He tucked himself back into his pants and gave Yamato an apologetic look. Yamato looked at the book with its prohibition symbols, figures, and brightly-colored katakana before meeting Kakashi’s eye again. Kakashi looked serious, but not in the same way he did when Yamato arrived here. Now he looked determined.

Yamato sighed and tossed his head back.

“The code?” he guessed.

“I think I know why Shikamaru thinks it was meant for me. This book might be a legend.”

Yamato tilted his head and raised a brow. “For breaking Master Jiraiya’s code?”

Kakashi nodded and hummed. “I have to go to Cipher Corps. They’re working on deciphering it there. Shikamaru asked me to find them if anything came to mind.”

Yamato frowned. “Well, I guess it can’t be helped. This village needs to know the secret to Pain’s abilities as soon as possible if Naruto’s going to stand a chance against the Akatsuki.”

“Yeah,” Kakashi said with a wry smile, standing and depositing the book in his hip pouch. “If I had the time right now, I’d spend it all on you.”

“Aw–” Yamato said before narrowing his eyes at Kakashi. “That’s a line from–”

“You know, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to read Master Jiraiya’s writing aloud again without thinking of my cock down your throat. You looked  _ so good _ on your knees.”

Yamato heaved a ragged breath. “Kakashi. Don’t start with me when you’re–”

“Leaving. I’m leaving,” Kakashi said before throwing his hand in the air, extending his forefingers, and disappearing in a puff of smoke.

Yamato groaned and let his weight fall until he tipped to the side and laid across the couch. His pants were tight with the pressure of the erection he’d somehow acquired even during a reading of Master Jiraiya’s smut. He couldn’t forget the look of bliss on Kakashi’s face. He couldn’t forget the feel of Kakashi in his mouth. 

He couldn’t wait for tonight.

* * *

Yamato didn’t consider himself a romantic, not really. He could appreciate flowers and candlelit dinners from a distance, but those niceties seemed meant for elsewhere, for different people with more peaceful lives. 

If Yamato  _ was _ a romantic, he might’ve scattered rose petals over his mattress and plated the dinner for tonight’s rendezvous with a little more pizazz. As it stood, when Kakashi arrived at his door, two stark white bowls were the only standout from the ordinary here, their steam rising above his small wooden table through the cross of chopsticks balancing over the rounded edges.

“Yo,” Kakashi said as he kicked off his sandals at the door.

“You’re just in time for once,” Yamato said with a gesture to the table, feeling ridiculous when he realized he actually felt nervous. He scratched the back of his neck. “Dinner’s ready.”

“Ah,” Kakashi said, casting a sidelong glance at the table. “Good.”

Yamato raised a brow as he took his seat and watched Kakashi move toward the other one. Briefly, a memory of constructing these chairs, of thinking he would never have the company he now had sitting with him, tickled him. But any amusement quickly fled him when he saw the way Kakashi took his seat. There was a weight on his shoulders heavy enough to break the furniture. Kakashi’s eye fixed on the white curls of steam rising from his bowl for a long time.

Yamato tilted his head and lifted his chopsticks. “You like nasu dengaku, right? I know I’ve heard you order eggplant dishes at Ichir–”

“Yes,” Kakashi said abruptly before lifting his chopsticks and plunging them into his bowl. “Thank you for the meal.”

Yamato echoed his sentiment before taking his first bite. In spite of its delicious salty taste, it didn’t go down easy. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. One moment he was as nervous as a schoolgirl with her crush and the next, he had an inexplicable sense of dread. Grief was an emotion which would’ve made more sense in light of recent events. Maybe this uneasiness was due to the fact that Kakashi hadn’t said anything about Cipher Corps’ findings following his assistance. Kakashi never held back a chance to boast. The results couldn’t have been good.

“It’s delicious, Tenzo, thank you,” Kakashi said around a mouthful of food before Yamato looked up to find him dabbing a napkin across his unmasked face over a completely empty bowl. “I didn’t know you could cook this well.”

Kakashi’s teasing demeanor paired with the letting-down of his mask instantly lightened Yamato’s spirits. It relieved him immensely to see Kakashi relaxed. He had to stop being such a worrier.

“Yes, you did,” Yamato answered playfully with a smile, leaning across the table. “I think you’re well aware of my talents by now.”

“Ohh, yes I am,” Kakashi said, his gaze darkening as it reached across the table and held Yamato. “Speaking of which, I still owe you for earlier.”

“Uh–” Yamato said, his pulse skyrocketing. “You don’t have t–”

Kakashi stood, casually waving away Yamato’s concern with a gloved hand. “I want to.”

That hand reached into Yamato’s, pulling it from the tabletop and yanking Yamato to his feet along with it. Before Yamato could argue or sink back into his chair, Kakashi’s other arm was sweeping around his back, drawing him in. Yamato felt crushed against Kakashi as his lungs expanded with a deep inhale. Kakashi’s breath batted softly against Yamato’s cheek.

Then his voice was in Yamato’s ear, rough and deep. “Remember what I told you I would do?”

Yamato felt chills blossom where Kakashi’s breath touched his neck, and then traveled down his spine. “I do. Senpai.”

Kakashi’s stubble brushed Yamato’s cheek so abruptly that Yamato wasn’t prepared when the soft sensation of a kiss trapped his lips. Kakashi’s tongue pried between Yamato’s lips, wasting no time taking the kiss to the next level. Yamato wasn’t complaining. The taste of their shared dinner lingered on their tongues, making the kiss salty and sweet. Kakashi’s flak jacket was in the way. Yamato wanted to feel the warmth of Kakashi’s chest heaving with desire, with no clothes between them. Yamato reached for the zipper and pulled.

“Tenzo,” Kakashi said, pulling away to meet his gaze with one hooded eye, cupping his gloved palms around Yamato’s jaw, “what do you want?”

“You,” Yamato breathed. And it was so easy to say, it scared him. “I want you.”

Yamato threaded his fingers through Kakashi’s wispy silver hair and closed them around the tie at the back of his head, pulling the hitai-ate away. He wanted to see Kakashi. He wanted Kakashi to  _ see _ him - and remember this.

“I want to suck you off,” Kakashi said breathily as his wispy silver hair fell over his eyes while he nipped Yamato’s bottom lip. “Just like you did me.”

Yamato raised a brow as he ran his hand down Kakashi’s spine, settling on the perfect swell of his ass. “And you consider that payback? That’s not going to make me cr–”

“I consider that the  _ beginning,” _ Kakashi said.

As he pulled away to shrug out of the flak jacket Yamato had been working him out of, he held Yamato’s gaze with a look that conveyed a threat. And even though he wasn’t ANBU anymore, even though he was on Yamato’s side, a threat from Sharingan Kakashi was not something Yamato took lightly. Yamato knew he was in for a  _ long _ night.

With a glance at the ceiling, Yamato steeled his resolve and tugged his shirt overhead. He’d been off-duty all day, so he didn’t have as much uniform to shed as Kakashi did. He prepared to remove his pants, but as he brought his hands to his waist, Kakashi tackled him onto the bed.

“What is  _ with _ y–” Yamato started before Kakashi was licking a trail up the center of his abs, causing Yamato to let his propped elbows give way beneath him.

He splayed his arms out to his sides and let Kakashi have his way. Kakashi ended that wet trail with his tongue dipping deep into Yamato’s belly button. Yamato curled in around him, hissing at the sensation as it paired with the soft pressure of Kakashi’s palm cupping his sack. Yamato raised his pelvis, hinting to Kakashi where he  _ really _ wanted contact.

As Kakashi met his gaze and pulled at Yamato’s pants, Yamato stared into those mismatched eyes. The Sharingan was staring back at him much longer than Yamato was used to. Usually, even when he wanted to use it, Kakashi would close the eye from time to time, and that was all right with Yamato. But it seemed today he’d totally given way to allowing the eye to remain open, throwing caution to the wind, with no worries of chakra preservation. Yamato moaned and tossed his head back as he was freed of his pants with Kakashi’s hands skimming his thighs. Having Kakashi’s full attention was empowering, a turn-on in and of itself.

“Kakashi,” Yamato rasped his appreciation as Kakashi settled into place, laying between his legs.

Kakashi’s lips enveloped his cock, sheathing it enticingly slowly. But Kakashi’s eyes were downcast, focused on what he was doing. That didn’t feel right.

“Kakashi,” Yamato said, reaching to caress his cheek, “I want to see you. Look at me.”

When Kakashi’s red and gray eyes locked on Yamato, the slide of his tongue down Yamato’s shaft made Yamato choke. It was so rapid, so slick, so warm. Yamato spread his thighs wider as Kakashi looked at him with sunken cheeks and intense hooded eyes, bobbing to a rhythm.

Yamato licked his lips and fixated on those eyes, thinking he could cum just from Kakashi watching him. If it was his own hand around his cock right now, he might be just as close as he currently felt. Yamato bit his lip, determined to make this last, determined to make Kakashi’s eyes shine with that fiery lust he’d grown to know so well.

Yamato furrowed his brows. Kakashi’s eyes  _ weren’t _ shining with lust. They were bothering him. With this intensity of performance, Kakashi usually would’ve had that fire in his eyes already. And Yamato knew Kakashi would’ve had to close the Sharingan at some point by now, even  _ if _ he was wholly focused on Yamato and willing to subject himself to surprise attack, but that wasn’t like Kakashi.

An abrupt realization shot like ice through his veins, shutting down all pleasurable sensation like the closing of a valve.

Yamato sat up and narrowed his eyes at the figure between his legs. “No fucking way.”

Kakashi stopped moving his lips, blinked, and let out a questioning hum that vibrated around Yamato’s cock.

Yamato heaved a breath through his flaring nostrils. “I’m coming down to your apartment, and you’re going to  _ explain.” _

Yamato molded his fist into wood and knocked the beam straight through the clone’s head. He watched its eyes go wide and roll over in pain before it disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“I hope that hurt,” Yamato said as he arched and shimmied his pants over his hips. “Asshole.”

Yamato jerked the rest of his clothes back on, dressing in a hurry for fear that Kakashi would run. He didn’t know  _ why _ Kakashi should run but then he didn’t know why Kakashi was pimping out his shadow clones instead of coming here himself.

Yamato turned toward the door and scoffed at the idea of putting on sandals and descending a flight of stairs. He’d never catch Kakashi. With a grunt, he shunshined and found himself surrounded by the smoke-filled air of Kakashi’s apartment. Kakashi was looking out an open window.

“Kakashi!” Yamato gritted as Kakashi winced. “Okay, what the fuck?”

Kakashi turned a tired eye on Yamato. “Hard to get to that part when you kill your partner during foreplay.”

There were times when Yamato had  _ so many things _ to say that he couldn’t string together a complete sentence. This was one of those times where it was so bad that he didn’t even try, settling instead for gnashing his teeth and giving Kakashi a glare to rival his scariest face.

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi raised a hand and creased his eye in an attempted apologetic smile. When he opened his gray eye again, dark and deep, the apology became real. “I’m sorry, Tenzo.”

Yamato sighed, shaking his head and letting down the fist he’d subconsciously raised. “Why? Just tell me why.”

“I didn’t…” Kakashi closed his eyes and stepped away from the window, “...want you to be disappointed.”

“You did a really great job with that.”

Kakashi worked his jaw side to side as a vein pulsed at his temple. “I’m not - I know. It was a stupid solution. I might be...distracted tonight.” He shrugged. “So...I wanted to give you the part of myself that could give you my full attention.”

Yamato’s jaw dropped. 

How did Kakashi  _ do that? _ He could turn the most damning evidence into a testimonial. Yamato wanted to remain angry. He knew he had a  _ right _ to be angry and to give Kakashi hell for the stupid stunt, and yet his heart throbbed at the romantic notion that Kakashi wanted to give of himself enough to literally break a piece off just for Yamato. Yamato knew what a chakra drain shadow clones were for Kakashi, especially for the duration of use and energy expense he clearly intended.

“No,” Yamato said, more to himself than Kakashi. He shook his head, willing himself not to give in to his shifting feelings. “Shadow clones are just that, Kakashi. They’re a  _ shadow _ of yourself. If I wanted to fuck a shadow clone - hell. I could make one of my own.”

Kakashi’s eye widened. “Really? Could I w–”

“No! Now tell me. What’s the real issue here?”

Kakashi held Yamato’s gaze. A moment of hesitation followed, during which any levity or pretense Kakashi had been feeling faded into the distance. Yamato clenched his jaw and waited.

“There’s no issue. Not really.”

Yamato furrowed his brows. “Kak–”

Kakashi sighed and plopped into his couch, throwing a forearm across his eyes as he sank deeper. “Naruto left the village with Master Fukasaku today. He’s following in Master Jiraiya’s footsteps, learning Sage Mode, hoping he can surpass him.” Kakashi raised his forearm, revealing his eye locked on Yamato. “Lady Tsunade wanted me to tell you that.”

“So you’re worried about Naruto,” Yamato said, falling into the seat beside Kakashi. “About Pain. About Lady Tsunade possibly knowing about  _ us?” _

“If Pain were to attack the Hidden Leaf now, we wouldn’t be ready. I don’t foresee anything holding him back. It’ll take at least a few more days before the medical, interrogation, and cipher divisions finish their analyses on him and Naruto returns.”

Yamato bit his bottom lip. He was worried about Pain as well, especially considering what he’d seen of that  _ last  _ Akatsuki’s capabilities. This enemy was worse. Of course, Yamato didn’t miss how Kakashi sidestepped that last question, but all else considered, there would be no  _ them _ to think of for much longer if Kakashi’s fear became a reality.

“I think,” Kakashi said gravely, “we might not survive this one.”

Yamato worried his bottom lip between his teeth. Kakashi never spoke that way, not even about the deadliest missions they’d been on as ANBU. Then again,  _ that _ was Kakashi, his captain.  _ This _ was Kakashi, his lover - finally opening up to him. Regardless, it had taken a lot more coaxing to reach this point than it should have. Yamato slid his arm around Kakashi’s shoulders. 

“You’re used to tackling challenges with stealth and deception. I’m a ninja, too, Kakashi, I get that. But  _ don’t _ handle me that way. I’m here for the good times and the bad.” He raised Kakashi’s chin with a fingertip, looking deeply into his exposed eye. “I hope when my struggles come, you’ll be here for my bad days.”

“Of course I will,” Kakashi said wholeheartedly, the look in his eyes conveying concern before he leaned into Yamato’s embrace. “I’m always here for you.”

“I’m here for you too,” Yamato said with a snort, giving Kakashi’s side a pinch for good measure. “You should know that by now.”

“I do. I’ve known it for a long time...Tenzo.”

The squeeze Kakashi gave him took away whatever sting still lingered from the night’s earlier events. Yamato knew they would be okay emotionally. He only wished he could assure as much for their physical well-being in the days to come.


	12. Saved

Fears about Pain coming after Naruto didn’t have much time to linger for Yamato. The hokage still had other pressing concerns to attend to which couldn’t be neglected. There were plenty of people working diligently on finding any possible weakness in Pain. Yamato could be more useful elsewhere, especially with Naruto away and no nine tails cloak to tie Yamato to the village.

So Tsunade had summoned him.

It wasn’t the most comfortable time to be away on a mission, but Yamato was interested in pursuing the target he’d been assigned. After all, Kabuto Yakushi had been extremely suspicious the last time Yamato and Naruto ran into him, back when they were chasing down the Uchiha brothers. Yamato wanted to know his end game, and if that meant tracking him, he was happy to oblige these orders. For this mission, Yamato would follow under the leadership of Anko Mitarashi, who not only was more familiar with Orochimaru and his followers’ ways than anyone else in the Hidden Leaf, but also was a friend, of sorts, to Yamato. Sai would be the third on their team. Lady Tsunade’s team selection was never coincidental. Yamato and Sai were chosen to accompany Anko for their ANBU-level stealth abilities. Someone like Kabuto Yakushi would not be easily followed - especially after apparently ingesting whatever remained of Orochimaru to replicate his snake-like qualities.

They set off from the village gates, not expecting to be gone long, not bothering with goodbyes, expecting to return to the red painted wood arch and fire symbol adorning their village entrance with their report within a few days. Anko had set off with a near-battle-cry, but by the time they were deep in the woods outside the Hidden Leaf, her conversation had grown quiet as well as her thoughts. Yamato could see the gears turning as they drew nearer to their destination. It was only about a days’ journey to the location their sources claimed Kabuto Yakushi had last been spotted.

“So, it’s Yamato now, huh?” Anko reiterated, reviving an earlier conversation as they walked.

“Yeah,” Yamato said, scanning his eyes across the trees as an uneasy feeling settled over him.

“Captain Yamato,” Sai said helpfully, giving Anko a closed-eyed smile.

Anko shot him a toothy grin. “Not today, Buddy. _I’m_ the captain on this mission.” Anko shot a finger at Yamato, breaking his concentration before she gave him a wink. “That doesn’t mean start getting the hots for me now, you. You already had your chance.” 

Yamato grimaced. He’d hoped Anko had been drunk enough to forget about that night years ago. Even worse was the fact that he couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like her taunting was leading into flirtation.

“Hots?” Sai asked. “Captain Yamato, are you sweating? It’s not so bad out here today.”

“That’s a shame,” Anko continued with a wistful sigh, swinging her arms to and fro. “I would’ve liked to know what it would be like to yell commands at ‘Tenzo’, but I guess Yamato will have to suffice.”

Sai stopped short. “Captain Kakashi sometimes calls Captain Yamato by that name.”

“I know,” Anko said, shooting Sai another toothy grin as she met Yamato’s eye. “They used to be very close. I hear they’re pretty close now, too.”

“Anko,” Yamato said as he scanned the vacant treetops again, still hearing nothing, but growing more and more uneasy, “please don’t use that name. I’m not Tenzo anymore.”

Sai pursed his lips. “I thought Lord Danzo said your code name was Kinoe.”

Yamato let a groan crawl from this throat as his shoulders sagged. Maybe sending him on a mission with these two _hadn’t_ been Lady Tsunade’s best idea.

“Listen,” Yamato said, directing his eyes to the trees so his teammates would follow, “do you two sense it?”

Anko narrowed her eyes. “It’s quiet.”

“Too quiet,” Sai added.

“Whatever’s causing this seems to be passing us, though.”

Anko rubbed her shoulder. “This doesn’t feel like Orochimaru. His was a whole different aura.”

Yeah, well,” Yamato said, “Kabuto definitely gives off Orochimaru vibes. This must be something else.”

“I’ll check the surrounding area,” Sai said, pulling a scroll from his pack and snapping it open, “and make sure we’re not being watched.”

* * *

There was nothing there then or that night as they settled down to camp. After they woke the next morning and Sai’s second set of ink creatures found no sign of pursuit, they moved in on Kabuto’s territory. With every step further from the village, Yamato’s trepidation grew. He had every reason to be tense. There was no telling what Kabuto would do if he found them here. Scaring him off could destroy the Leaf’s chance of ever knowing what Kabuto Yakushi planned to do with his newfound abilities. This mission was clearly important to Anko, too, who barely said a word that day as they honed in on the area where they were likely to spot him.

It was a snakeskin shriveled around the bark of an old tree that finally drew the team to a stop. Anko raised a hand, planted her fishnet-laced knee into the soil, and beckoned the team down with her.

She licked the air and turned a sharp eye on Sai. “Can you fly overhead with your Super Beast Scroll?”

Sai nodded. “Yes.” 

“Good.” Anko jerked her chin past Sai. “He’s East. I’m willing to bet it’s our guy. We’ll need to map out the area to form a plan before we move in for surveillance.”

Sai’s scroll rolled across the grass between them as he drew his hawk. Yamato gnawed his bottom lip as he watched the ink take shape, saw Sai form the seals, and watched the drawn animal come to life with a splatter of black ink soaking the blades of grass beneath it. Something didn’t feel right. Yamato didn’t think his instincts were screaming about Kabuto, either. 

Something else was wrong.

With a nod, Sai hopped onto his hawk and flew off. Yamato looked to Anko, whose eyes were narrowed at him, scrutinizing. Maybe she felt it, too. She folded her legs in front of her, crossing them at the ankles and leaning forward to cup her chin over her bent knees.

“Anko,” Yamato said.

“So,” she said with a conspiratorial grin. “Who’ve _you_ been doin’ lately?”

Yamato scowled. “Anko, now’s not really–”

“We’ve got a few minutes,” Anko said, wagging her brows. “And I can guarantee you Sai’s coming back with something. We’re making our next move right away. But until then, nothing for you and me to do but wait. And spill some secrets.”

Yamato shook his head. At any other time, he’d be avoiding this conversation for completely different reasons. He knew he’d regret it if he shared his secrets with Anko Mitarashi. But those thoughts weren’t even registering beneath the seed of dread taking root within him. The gut reaction he’d been having that something was wrong had multiplied over the course of this day. Now, his skin was practically tingling with the sense that _someone_ was in danger. Maybe it wasn’t them. Maybe it was Naruto. Maybe it was the Hidden Leaf.

“I’ll go first,” Anko said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s only fair since I asked. Did you know Yugao was dabbling in the ladies now?”

Yamato choked. “Wh-what? You and Yugao?”

Anko shrugged. “It’s a secret. She’s had a hard time getting involved with men ever since Ha– well, you know.”

“No,” Yamato said, furrowing his brows. “I _didn’t_ know.”

He closed his eyes and shook his head. This was _not_ his concern. He didn’t need to follow the sex lives of his former teammates and he certainly didn’t need them to–

“Shit,” he huffed. “Anko. No.”

She smirked. “I told you, now you tell me.”

“Can we just concentrate on the _mission?”_

“Or you can _do_ me,” Anko said, wagging her head at him victoriously before sticking her tongue out. “You’re lookin’ good, _Yamato._ I can always get a few drinks in you first if that’s what it takes.”

Yamato casted a glance over his shoulder. Sai was due back. He had to be back any moment now.

“Let me guess then, since you’re not being any fun.”

Yamato closed his eyes, willing away his burning anxiety, closing his ears off to Anko as much as possible. “Please, Anko–”

“What’s that guy’s name? The one who took over Team Ro just before you were recruited to Team Kak–”

Yamato shook his head and massaged his sweating palms. “Our relationship is strictly professional.”

“Iruka? No…” Anko pursed her lips. “He would’ve spilled something to m– oh! How about–”

A shriek tore through the air and Yamato looked skyward. The shadow casted by Sai’s black and white hawk had never been such a pleasant sight to Yamato. Sai came soaring down, breaking through the thick green of the trees, his entrance preceded by the cracks of snapping branches. The bird disappeared in a spray of black before Sai landed on swift footing.

“Did you find Kabuto?” Anko said, assuming a stern face as she spread open an unmarked map of the vicinity.

Sai’s eyes were solemn as he looked over the map and hummed. “Yes.”

“Good. Don’t let him spot you.” Anko said as Sai drew a perimeter.

Pain tore through Yamato’s heated left palm, which felt like it was absolutely on fire now. When he spread his fingers and held his wrist, smoke drifted from his reddening skin. This had only ever happened to him during Naruto’s training and on a mission similar to this one, not so long ago.

Yamato gasped. “Th-this is…”

“What’s wrong?” Anko said.

“It can’t be,” Yamato said as the redness blackened into intricate kanji - the number _six._ Six. He hadn’t even been warned with a one or a four or a five. Somehow, six tails had emerged and Naruto was somewhere nearby. He should’ve still been training on Mount Myoboku. Something was incredibly wrong. The feeling of anxiety Yamato had been feeling since the onset of this mission rushed back in like the tide, consuming him completely as his hand shook in his grasp.

“He undid the sealing jutsu on his own!” Yamato cried. “Six tails! That’s insane.”

He shot to his feet, looking between Anko and Sai. “There’s an emergency. Sorry, but I must return to the village.”

“H-hey!” Anko called to his back.

Yamato _ran_ for the Hidden Leaf.

All at once, his fears of the possibilities for what this could mean came to light. As his lungs burned with oxygen deprivation and his legs began to ache, Yamato pumped his arms harder, pushing himself further faster. Whatever was happening back at the village, it was already happening. There was no way he could ever be fast enough. His palm burned stronger than his lungs and he brought his hand in front of him to see the seven kanji. Seven tails, and he wouldn’t make it in time at this rate. Yamato could sense the origin of the cloak’s position, pulling at him, drawing him somewhere that wasn’t quite the Hidden Leaf village.

Naruto probably ran into trouble outside the village then, before any danger came to the villagers. Maybe Pain came for him and he decided to meet his enemy head-on, too confident in his new abilities, too overwhelmed by his enemy. And he’d pulled from the nine tails’ chakra for assistance. Yamato furrowed his brows and panted as hot sweat ran down his brow, into his eyes. Branches cracked beneath his sandals. The forest moved past him in a blur. Still, it wasn’t fast enough. It didn’t make sense. If Naruto had been in a fight dire enough to require help from the chakra of the tailed beast inside him, why hadn’t Yamato been warned before? How had it escalated so quickly? And why had no shinobi from the Hidden Leaf come to Naruto’s aid? They absolutely would - unless something had stopped them. Yamato fought down the nausea churning in his stomach as he ran. Something _had_ stopped them. That was the only explanation.

His palm burned again. He grimaced as he looked at the Eight kanji.

“This is very bad.”

He knew it. He _knew_ it, and there was nothing he could do about it but run to a destination that was far beyond his reach - and fail. Yamato’s face tightened into a grimace, a scowl, his lips trembling as his legs drew to a stop at the sensation of his palm searing again. When he clutched his wrist and raised his palm to his view, he’d never felt so defeated in his life.

Nine.

“Dammit.” He panted. “It’s too late. How could this happen?”

He jogged the rest of the way, dreading what he would find. He didn’t expect to see the nine tailed beast itself because for some reason, the warning etched into his palm had completely disappeared. What he found at the scene instead was a pile of rocks. Devastation. It was obvious a fight involving massive power had occurred, but no one was there when Yamato arrived. Yamato searched the scene for Naruto, afraid he might find the body of one of the closest teammates he had ever known, but no bodies lied amongst the wreckage. Everything was as dead as if no life had ever existed in the first place, not even flora. The void was painful.

With a deep breath, Yamato propelled himself toward the Hidden Leaf. If he wanted to learn what had happened with Naruto and the nine tails, he would have to learn it there. Yet with every step closer, his feet seemed to grow heavy. His strides seemed to take twice as long. 

He feared he wouldn’t find a hokage guarding the small village. He feared he wouldn’t find Naruto. He feared he wouldn’t find any of his teammates there - not even Kakashi. It was ridiculous to think. 

He shook his head as he walked out from under the cover of trees, trying to rid his mind of the morbid thoughts clouding his judgment and slowing his progress. He didn’t realize, until the pile of rubble at his feet budged under his sandal and rolled against the heel of a hidden ANBU shinobi a few feet away, that he was _standing_ on the Hidden Leaf Village.

“Shinobi,” the ANBU said from behind a painted mask, looking for acknowledgement.

Yamato absently tapped his Leaf hitai-ate. “Wh-what…”

The ANBU shook his head gravely. He didn’t say another word. Yamato casted his gaze across the wasteland, past the settling ashen dust to the hokage monument sat over a pile of waste. There was a crater full of villagers in the midst of the wreckage where a village should have been. A village with buildings and people and _safety._ It had been there when Yamato left. His heart sank and his knees trembled. His hands no longer burned, but his stomach turned over.

“Tenzo.”

Yamato caught his breath. It wasn’t Kakashi’s voice calling that name, but another familiar voice - higher and huskier. Yamato shot a look over his shoulder to the masked ANBU shinobi.

“Yugao?” he whispered. “What’s happ–”

“You’re just returning, aren’t you? I was by the hokage’s side during the attack. It’s - it’s not good. Naruto Uzumaki…”

Yugao trailed off. Her gaze turned to the sky, her point of focus hinted by the tilt of her mask framed by her purple hair. Yamato swallowed down the lump in his throat. He wanted to know what happened here - to Naruto - to the hokage - to the village. Instead of answers, he found more confusion after he followed Yugao’s gaze. Green beams of light shot across the blue sky above the devastated Hidden Leaf village. Yamato would’ve thought he’d imagined them if not for every person in the village staring up at them in awe. People jumped in fear as the lights plummeted down around them. Yamato heard screams from the people, but those screams didn’t match the agony he should have heard from those suffering the losses he expected to find when he would take a chance to venture deeper into the wreckage.

“What _is_ that?” Yugao said.

Yamato’s jaw fell as he watched more and more green glow touching ground around the devastation of what was once the Hidden Leaf. Gasps and laughter began to fill the air, only adding to Yamato’s confusion. The attacks he imagined those sparks to be didn’t correlate with the happy cries he heard echoing through the rubble. Something horrible had happened...and now something _good_ was happening?

Yamato snapped his gaze to Yugao. “Where’s the hokage?”

“She - I was separated from her, in a blast,” Yugao said, pulling herself out of her distraction. “She...used everything she had protecting the people and healing them.”

“Everything she had?”

Yugao removed her mask and held it to her chest. She met Yamato’s eyes with a watery gaze, her lips pressed together in a hard line.

“Her chakra must be very depleted by now. Pain took a lot out of–”

“Pain?” Yamato gasped. “So this was _his_ doing?”

“Naruto Uzumaki…” Yugao began, knitting her brows like she was struggling to find words. “Well, Lady Katsuyu was with him. She was relaying to us what happened with him and Pain after they moved the battle from the village.”

“Battle,” Yamato said, clenching his fists by his sides, remembering how his palms burned. “The nine tails! Did it–”

“I...don’t understand how. But after causing a lot of damage here in that form, Naruto seemed to pull himself out of it. He...went to talk to Pain. He didn’t want anyone to follow.”

“What? _Talk_ to him? After this?” Yamato threw a trembling hand toward the wreckage and injured shinobi around them.

Yugao shook her head. “Like I said, I don’t understand. I need to find the hokage and help my team protect her if she’s injured.”

“Shizune. She’ll do everything she can for–”

Yugao hiccuped and pressed her hand over her lips. “Shizune’s dead, Tenzo.”

Yamato’s eyes bulged. The air seemed to be sucked from his lungs. “No.”

Yugao closed her eyes and reopened them with the cold gaze of a seasoned ANBU. “We had many losses today. It’s thanks to Naruto that it isn’t any worse.”

“But Pain was after Naruto,” Yamato cried, turning to the trees and searching for any sign of Naruto’s return. “He has him now and no one’s worried?”

“You don’t understand,” Yugao said. “That boy is very powerful. He can handle Pain.”

Yamato laughed, disbelieving. “Pain could do all of this with the best shinobi in the village here to defend...”

Yamato trailed off as coldness spread through his veins. The _best shinobi in the village_ included Kakashi, who Yamato knew wasn’t taking any missions and should have been the first to slap a seal on Naruto when the nine tails cloak began to emerge. Yamato looked around eagerly, hoping to find Kakashi approaching in his typical too-late style, but none of the shinobi getting to their feet were _him._

“Kakashi,” Yamato whispered, shooting a look at Yugao, who stiffened. “Yugao, where’s Kakashi?”

“I’m s–”

“It’s a miracle!” a woman cried from nearby, carrying a child in her arms. She swung him around, pressing kisses to his temple. “My baby! You’re alive!”

Yugao gasped. Yamato followed her gaze past the woman to a masked ANBU approaching them, his gaze set on Yugao, his hand lifted in the air to signal her.

“Sakutsu,” Yugao breathed, shaking her head. “How is this possible?”

“People are being revived all over the village,” said the ANBU as he stepped up to Yugao and gave Yamato a nod. “I _know_ I died. I didn’t just imagine that, right?”

Yugao placed her mask back over her face. “I was separated from the hokage. Do you know where–”

“Yes,” Sakutsu said, tugging Yugao by the wrist. “This w–”

“Yugao!” Yamato called before she could leave. “Where is he?”

Yugao turned. “He was with Team Choza. You should find him near the center of the village.”

Something in Yugao’s voice sounded reluctant, but Yamato sprinted deeper into the rubble anyway. He passed more reuniting villagers, shinobi hugging and men crying, as well as people already starting to pick up the pieces of their broken village. It angered Yamato, seeing that, _knowing_ how much went into building this village up to what it had been. No one had the right to destroy all of this. Yamato couldn’t stand by and let it remain this way. He couldn’t understand what Naruto had done or what he was doing to make this better, but he clearly was. It wasn’t the first time that kid had surpassed Yamato’s expectations. Broken buildings, Yamato could fix. But this village’s _spirit_ \- Yamato could never manage what Naruto did for the Hidden Leaf.

He found the Akimichis sharing a tearful celebration in the center of the village. They broke out of it when a wave of people brushed past them, who’d all stopped what they were doing to head in the direction of the old village gates. Kakashi wasn’t among them.

“Choza!” Yamato called, flagging the older Akimichi for his attention when the younger sprinted ahead to join his friends. “Where’s Kakashi?”

Choza met Yamato’s gaze, his wide eyes crinkling to reflect his warm smile. “You _just_ missed him, Yamato.”

Yamato balked. “Missed him?”

Choza stepped up to Yamato, threw a heavy arm over his shoulder, and turned him around to follow the crowd. “I think he wanted to be the first to congratulate his student on a job well done. Naruto’s a _hero_ now, you know! What do you think of that?”

“I’m trying to catch up, to be honest,” Yamato said, scratching his head as they walked. “Where are we all going?”

“You didn’t hear the news from Lady Katsuyu?” Choza said, raising a brow and frowning at Yamato. “Where have you been?”

“A mission,” Yamato snorted. “Hopefully Lady Tsunade is understanding about my leaving my team when I felt the nine tails seal break.”

“Uh - Lady Tsunade,” Choza said with a tremble in his voice. He jerked his chin to the crowd ahead. “Right. Naruto should be back with Kakashi any minute now, according to Lady Katsuyu. We’re all going to welcome him together. He single-handedly _saved_ this village, Yamato.”

“The people,” Yamato said slowly, furrowing his brows as pieces came together, “he somehow _revived_ those who didn’t survive?”

Choza grunted an affirmation. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do more for Kakashi. I almost didn’t make it, myself.”

“Kakashi?” Yamato jerked out of Choza’s armhold to look him squarely in the eyes as his heart stuttered. “Are you saying he _died?”_

Choza grimaced. “Ahhh, you didn’t know. But!” He held up his palms, stubby fingers waving in front of Yamato’s widening eyes. “He’s alive now! I saw it myself. Everyone who died today is back, thanks to Naruto. He somehow convinced Pain to restore peace to this village with some remarkable jutsu.”

Yamato chewed his cheek, his brows knitting together with the processing of so much information and overwhelming emotion all at once. Kakashi had _died_ and Yamato hadn’t been here to help him. He couldn’t bring himself to grieve, knowing Kakashi was already alive and well, but he still felt turmoil. He was so angry at the enemy for bringing this to their village, but so indebted to him for reviving the most important person in his life. He was so indebted to Naruto. If this turn of events was brought about from a change of heart in the enemy, Yamato _knew_ no one else but Naruto could be to blame. His eyes watered and he had to rub away his budding tears as he pictured Naruto’s smiling face. He imagined the way Naruto would smile when the village surprised him with this greeting.

Naruto had worked so hard to get here. He deserved every bit of hero worship he would receive.

Once the celebrations died down, Yamato looked forward to reuniting with his teammates - and appreciating the fact that they were _all_ alive.


	13. Moving On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, this chapter took A LOT out of me. This end result is so different from the first draft, it’s not even funny. There is a lot of transition and information-load going on here in the canon story, but also a lot going on for Yamato emotionally, so it’s one of the longest chapters of this story. Please enjoy and share your thoughts with me. I always love to hear them ❤️

The sound of rustling fabric startled Yamato from sleep. He opened his eyes to the sunlight shining in through a triangle of his orange tent, the flap pulled back to reveal bright rays. As his mind flashed through imprinted memories of symbols in his palm and dust settling over the hokage monument, Yamato reached for his kunai. He knew they were more vulnerable here than ever.

“Yo, rise and shine.”

Yamato dispelled the air he’d been stockpiling in his lungs. With a toss of his head into his pillow, he let his kunai slip from his fingers. “Kakashi!”

“You’ve got work to do,” Kakashi said as he ducked into the tent and shot Yamato a smile with his visible eye. “It’s nearly noon. Yesterday must’ve really taken a lot out of you, hm?”

“Work to do?” Yamato perched himself on his elbow and squinted at Kakashi.

He wasn’t going to address Kakashi’s low blow to his stamina. Kakashi had no sympathy for the emotional drain it had put on Yamato to learn of everything that had happened to the Hidden Leaf, to learn of Kakashi’s death and resurrection, to learn of Naruto’s victory - _all_ in the span of minutes. 

He’d deserved his sleep. 

And right now, all Yamato could think about was the comfortable haze from which he was slowly crawling - and the glow of Kakashi’s half-hidden face in this soft light. The sun pouring in through the tent backlit his silver hair, casting a shadow across the center of his face, shrouding him in the mystery he liked to wear so well. But that one eye shimmered in the light, holding a spark just for Yamato. He could melt under that gaze all over again, just like he’d done when he saw Kakashi for the first time after learning of his death, when with his own two eyes, he’d confirmed that Kakashi was truly alive.

“Congratulations,” Kakashi drawled. “It’s unanimous. You’ve been voted in charge of the village restoration.”

_Voted,_ because their leadership was incapacitated for the time being. Yamato had learned the bitter news about Lady Tsunade at the end of that wearisome day, and in the wake of all the other revelations, had nearly forgotten _that_ memory was as real as the others.

Yamato pursed his lips. “Village restoration? You mean you want me to use my jutsu for things we have tradesmen f–”

Kakashi pressed his gloved palm to his chest. “Not me, Tenzo. All the village jonin agreed on this.”

“Funny,” Yamato grunted. “I didn’t get a vote.”

Kakashi waved a hand dismissively. “Eh, you didn’t really have a say.”

Yamato groaned. This was not what he wanted to wake up to. But then again, without being asked or told, he knew he’d want to help restore the village. He wanted everything back the way it was as soon as possible. It was bad enough their hokage was in a coma. It would be nearly impossible to run the village without her.

“And I have more news,” Kakashi said as he knelt down beside Yamato’s sleeping bag. “Top jonin left for a meeting with the feudal lord this morning. I volunteered to remain behind to celebrate your new _position_ with you.”

As Kakashi waggled his eyebrow, indicating a double meaning to his words while his hand brushed teasingly across Yamato’s thigh, Yamato could only frown. He and Kakashi both knew what a meeting with the feudal lord meant. There was one person who’d wanted to wear the hat for years and would only be too happy to take it now that there was no one to oppose him.

Yamato went rigid, swatted Kakashi’s hand from his thigh, and narrowed his eyes. “You know, I never would’ve thought I could be unhappy to see you after what happened yesterday, but–”

“It’s bad, Yamato.” Kakashi took rejection in stride as he unwound his legs in front of himself to settle onto the ground. “Lady Tsunade needs to recover fast. Things are happening more swiftly than the Hidden Leaf can manage.”

“Things?” Yamato turned suspicious eyes on Kakashi’s near-invisible flinch. “What things?”

“Cloud ninja are here.”

Yamato’s eyes bulged. “Now? This can’t be good. _Why_ are the Cloud ninja here?”

Kakashi shook his head, his gaze dropping. “Hmm. Anyway, you’d better get a move on. This village isn’t going to rebuild itself.” He ripped Yamato’s sleeping bag wide open. “Up, up!”

Grumbling, Yamato crawled to his feet and watched Kakashi’s retreat to the flap of his tent. “And where are you going?”

Kakashi shrugged over his shoulder. “To relax. Do a little reading. Catch up on the latest gossip.”

“Kakashi,” Yamato growled, irritated by Kakashi’s attitude, “just because you almost died–”

“Did die.”

“Doesn’t mean you can push me around like this without any reprisals!” He clutched both hands in his hair. “You know, I thought I could…”

As Kakashi froze, Yamato rolled his eyes and tugged on his hair, not knowing what to say or _if_ he should say it. They were in a critical state. This was no time for loaded confessions, but the loss of Kakashi, if only temporary, made Yamato realize he wanted more from this than he’d expected to ever have before. He couldn’t stand losing Kakashi again. Going on pretending like he only wanted to be Kakashi’s boyfriend, only wanted to have Kakashi close, would be lying to himself. He was realizing now that what he felt for Kakashi was deeper than attraction, deeper than admiration...and he was realizing it at the most inconvenient time.

“Thought you could what, Tenzo?”

Yamato pressed his lips together and forbade himself from giving into the wonderfully tumultuous feeling of hearing Kakashi drawl his name. “Never mind. You can’t possibly understand the way your death has made me feel.”

“Oh?” Kakashi’s tone darkened in an instant. “I guess you’re right. I don’t know how it feels when someone comes _back_ from the dead.”

Yamato’s breath quickened as the urgency to backtrack, to take back the words that upset Kakashi and correct his misstep, swept over him. There was a ray of sunshine beneath that darkness, something Kakashi had just admitted to without saying, and Yamato latched onto it. Kakashi’s sharp reaction came from a place of someone who’d lost someone he’d _cared_ about - which meant he saw Yamato’s feelings for what they were.

But with or without that recognition, Yamato knew Kakashi would deny his feelings, maybe to the point of berating Yamato, if he were to press the issue hard enough, here and now. This was the wrong time. They were shinobi and the village they were sworn to protect was in turmoil. Duty came first, even if it seemed like a painful excuse.

“I‘m sorry,” Yamato said with a deep sigh, “I’m trying to tell you...how much I appreciate that you _did_ come back.”

“Hm,” Kakashi said, assessing Yamato with a sweep of his softening gaze. 

Yamato carefully hid the emotions blossoming inside of him. He didn’t want Kakashi to recognize the depth of his feelings for him until Yamato could explain. Going by their past history and the fact that Kakashi was aware of Yamato’s feelings years ago when they first got together, combined with Kakashi’s lingering attention now, Yamato doubted he could hide this for long.

“Like you said,” Yamato told Kakashi, assuming formality in his tone as he gave a sharp nod, “I have a job to do, Senpai. I’ll see you later.”

His heart beat faster as he crossed his arms around himself and watched Kakashi slip out of his tent, unreadable as usual. Yamato realized how close he’d come to saying something he could never take back. Part of him was sorry he hadn’t. Part of him felt a growing anxiety at the thought that one day, he would, and every moment from here would draw him closer to it. 

At least he could find distraction in his work. And that was what he would do. All of this frustrated energy had to be directed somewhere. He might as well make it productive and reclaim his home.

* * *

The village might have looked like ruins, but after everything that had come to pass, Yamato couldn’t stand to hear the negativity pouring from the mouths of his fellow shinobi. There was no telling when - or _if_ \- Lady Tsunade would come out of her coma. Lord Danzo had predictably inserted himself as the village’s acting hokage for the time being, which was troubling. There were more Akatsuki still out there. The Hidden Cloud had representatives here in the midst of this mess, claiming Sasuke Uchiha had not only joined the Akatsuki, but captured _their_ jinchuriki. Now there would be a five kage summit - the first in decades. But the people who had died here had been revived. Their losses could have been much worse and irreparable. If people wanted the Hidden Leaf restored to its materialistic vitality, they were focusing on the wrong thing. 

When Genma Shiranui voiced that same thought, standing high on an elevated rubble pile over a clearing Yamato had chosen as an excellent foundation for their new village, Yamato couldn’t have agreed more.

“You’re absolutely right,” Yamato called up to Genma. _“We’re_ all still here.”

_That_ was the key factor to remember coming out of this disaster. Future catastrophes still had the chance to be averted. Buildings could be repaired. And Yamato was about to prove it.

He formed the seals and pounded his fist into the ground. “Wood Style Row Houses Jutsu!” 

Roots shot from the ground as Yamato drove them and directed their growth with his chakra, forming the wood structure into familiar constructs. It pulled from him and took all of his concentration, but within minutes, a row of houses existed where the village had been leveled. 

Wheezing, Yamato listened to cheers erupt from the surrounding shinobi who’d previously done nothing but complain. They then had the gall to claim the village would be rebuilt in no time at this rate. 

Yamato gasped for air, his lungs still working furiously to catch up from that exertion. “Easy for you to say,” he muttered.

But he prepared himself for more. There was still much more rebuilding to do.

* * *

After a cold shower, courtesy of the makeshift tent setup by a group of chunin combined with his own wood-fashioned pipes, Yamato had a short rest. When he awoke and began roaming through the village again, assessing its needs in the next steps of restoration, he felt his earlier optimism dwindle. He supposed a cold shower combined with its figurative equivalent of watching devastated families cry over their leveled homes and businesses _would_ drain the positivity from anyone.

When he caught sight of Kakashi down the path, Yamato sighed. He wasn’t ready for the aftermath of their earlier conversation. He wasn’t in the mood for Kakashi to tease or make light of any of it. He drew to a standstill and scratched his chin, debating how childish it would be to slip out of sight before Kakashi noticed him. Really, he was more mature than that. He could _face_ Kakashi. And as Kakashi was moving closer but still nose-deep in his book, there was a good chance he wouldn’t pay Yamato any mind.

“Yamato!” Shizune called from behind him, her pursuant footsteps closing in on Yamato just as Kakashi looked up from his pages.

Yamato grimaced. “Yes, Shizune?”

As Shizune moved into his line of sight to praise his most recent creation in the center of the village - a clinic where she could use her medical ninjutsu under cover - Yamato couldn’t help looking past her to watch Kakashi pocket his novel, his visible eye set on Yamato.

“It’s...no problem, really,” Yamato told her.

“Well,” Shizune breathed, unaware of Yamato’s creeping anxiety as she squeezed Tonton to her chest and stepped away, “I’d better get back. Lots of villagers are in bad shape.”

Her face became somber then, finally pulling Yamato’s attention from Kakashi. He bit his lip as he could practically feel her thoughts shift to Lady Tsunade. He wished there was something he could do, but rebuilding, for now, was the only thing he _could_ do. Shizune turned, leaving him with a tight smile as Tonton’s _oink_ sounded wearily.

_“You’ve_ been keeping busy.”

Yamato tensed and snapped his gaze to the voice. “Kakashi!”

Kakashi flapped his hand. “Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Breathing out the tension he’d let build up in him needlessly, Yamato cast a tired look in Kakashi’s direction. “There’s a lot of rebuilding to do. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that.”

“No,” Kakashi said, his eye creasing to convey a genuine smile. “What you’ve done so far is really amazing. I don’t know what this village would do without you.”

Yamato’s eyes went wide before he furrowed his brows. This was...not the Kakashi he’d expected. The man had returned to taunting and bullying him almost immediately after his resurrection. And now he was giving genuine praise? He looked...lighter somehow. Happy. Something was different about Kakashi. As Yamato thought back on it, he’d seen signs of the change even during their confrontation in his tent. Whether Kakashi was being kind or not, Kakashi’s _attitude_ was lighter.

“Are you...feeling okay?” Yamato had to ask. “Dying didn’t... _do_ something to the real Kakashi, did it?”

Kakashi laughed. “What? I can’t congratulate my kohai on a job well done?”

“See, _that,”_ Yamato said, pointing at Kakashi’s raised cheekbones that meant he was smiling beneath his mask, “is not...you’re different.”

Kakashi’s cheekbones fell, his dark eye growing somber as he met Yamato’s gaze. When Kakashi grabbed his arm and tugged Yamato closer to a tent where they would have more privacy, Yamato furrowed his brow. He didn’t _really_ _believe_ something happened to Kakashi in the afterlife. But now there was clearly something Kakashi wanted to confide in him.

“I saw him,” Kakashi said softly.

“Wh–”

“My father. Tenzo, I talked to my father.”

Yamato blinked rapidly. The only words his short-circuiting brain seemed capable of forming were, “Wh-what did you say?”

Kakashi’s father’s history was no secret in the Hidden Leaf Village - certainly not among the ANBU. Sakumo Hatake’s disgrace and suicide had happened before Yamato was a part of ROOT, when Kakashi was in the academy. During all their time on Team Ro, Kakashi had never talked about it. It was clearly a sensitive subject, so all Yamato knew was what passed through the gossip and chains of information, nothing directly from Kakashi. 

The White Fang’s abilities had been on par with the Sannin, but when he’d abandoned a mission to save his comrades, his famed reputation had been tarnished. He left behind his young prodigy of a son, a boy already moving through the ranks at extraordinary speed by village standards. It had hurt Kakashi in a way that appeared to cause irreparable damage in Yamato’s eyes during their ANBU days. He’d see it in the way Kakashi looked at father and son interactions with distaste during missions. He’d see it on the few occasions the White Fang was mentioned in passing and Kakashi left abruptly. He’d see it in the way Kakashi pushed away anyone who tried to break his emotional boundaries, as a lover or otherwise.

Sakumo Hatake was dead, and it was unimaginable to think Kakashi would ever have the chance to reconcile with him. But Kakashi seemed happier. Yamato’s chest clenched at the chance that perhaps, somehow, some of that hurt had been taken away. Perhaps, now, Kakashi could be more open to love.

Kakashi’s fond softening of his eye and soft tilt of his head seemed to suggest so. “I told him I understood. And I forgave him.”

Yamato felt his chest swell. He couldn’t remember a time he’d ever seen Kakashi looking so at peace. Seeing that kind of happiness on Kakashi made Yamato’s already-turbulent emotions soar.

“Kakashi,” he breathed, overwhelmed.

He wanted to say more, but the approach of quickening footsteps drummed in his ears. A glance over his shoulder confirmed it _was_ someone heading for them. Sai.

Kakashi followed Yamato’s gaze. “Sai?”

Sai exhaled, looking between them. His face was pinched with worry. His usual stoic demeanor faltered. Yamato raised a brow.

“Kakashi-sensei,” Sai said, “can I speak to you for a moment? It’s about...Naruto.”

With the admission of Naruto’s name, Sai gave a flick of his chin in the direction of a nearby tent. His dark eyes met Yamato’s for a split second before turning to Kakashi and leading him elsewhere. Yamato heard the message, loud and clear. There was something in that tent he needed to see. 

When he opened the flap, he found someone laid out in a sleeping bag, sitting upright with a compress over his eye. It was the orange clothing that gave Naruto away, otherwise Yamato wouldn’t have recognized his face or the shirtless torso covered in scrapes and bruises. Yamato frowned as he recalled it was _Sai_ who sent him here to find Naruto this way, along with the history those two boys had.

“Naruto,” he said, making the injured ninja startle and catch sight of him, “did Sai have anything to do with this?”

“N-no, Captain Yamato!” Naruto balked, his purple brow furrowing. “He’s taking care of me, ya know.”

Yamato panned his gaze across the medical supplies, the bandages around Naruto’s arm, and the cushion beside Naruto’s sleeping bag with the impressions left by someone who’d clearly been settled into it. He was satisfied that Sai had given Naruto aid, as he claimed. Yamato was willing to bet whatever Sai wanted to talk to Kakashi about had to do with the confrontation that had left the Hidden Leaf’s most powerful ninja covered in bruises after he’d left a battle with someone like Pain unscathed.

Yamato crossed his arms as he assessed Naruto’s wounds with a fond smile. “Care to tell me _why_ you need caretaking?”

Naruto mumbled something into his chest. Yamato caught the words ‘cloud’ and ‘Sasuke’, so he wasn’t going to push it any further. Naruto was obviously upset. Yamato could puzzle the pieces together well enough on his own. Before he could say anything else, he heard the rustling fabric of the tent, and then a sliver of daylight shone over Naruto’s sleeping bag before moving shadows altered it. Sai entered the tent ahead of Kakashi, immediately retaking his kneeling position on the cushion at Naruto’s side. Yamato observed Kakashi slipping his hands into his pockets and taking in Naruto’s injuries. Kakashi managed a disapproving look, even with one eye and the lower half of his face covered. 

As Sai suggested Sakura should take a look at him, and Naruto refused for fear of repercussions, Yamato watched the white gauze in Sai’s hands slowly weaving around Naruto’s head, protecting his swollen eye. Naruto might have been a fast healer, but those injuries had to hurt. He’d willingly endured all of that pain apparently out of guilt for what Sasuke had done to the Hidden Cloud’s jinchuriki on behalf of the Akatsuki. As unfortunate as this new development was, at least it was good to see Naruto and Sai getting along.

“Boy, they really worked you over,” Kakashi said, eliciting a smile and wince from Naruto. “You’d better take some time to recuperate.”

Naruto bristled. “I’m going to see the raikage!”

Yamato felt his jaw drop as he uncrossed his arms and flung them to his sides. Naruto was in no shape to go anywhere in his condition. Even if he wanted to, he was a jinchuriki. Possibly containing the only tailed beast the Akatsuki still needed. Even with Pain gone, there were still others out there. There was that masked man with mysterious abilities who called himself Madara Uchiha. The entire ninja world was in enough turmoil already _without_ the nine tails being taken.

“What are you saying?” Yamato cried, hoping to rattle some sense into Naruto. “The five kage summit is about to convene! It is agreed that every hidden village will exercise restraint in leaving their lands and conducting radical missions!”

“What will you do by seeing him?” Kakashi said, far too calm for Yamato’s comfort.

“I’m going to convince him to forgive Sasuke!”

“Right now, you don’t even have the necklace that seals the tailed beast!” Yamato said, his speech growing rapid as his stress increased. “A jinchuriki like you must not leave the village! It was bad enough that as many as eight tails transformed during that last battle! We were lucky that the seal activated in time to suppress the nine tails, but who knows about the next time? Besides, I’m in charge of the village reconstruction. I cannot stay by you all the time!”

Naruto took a deep breath. “I met the fourth hokage.”

Yamato’s lips drew into a hard line as he tried to process that. It was one thing hearing that Kakashi had met his deceased father recently - but at least _his_ death made that somewhat fathomable. Naruto hadn’t died, and the fourth hokage certainly hadn’t come back to life. It was a secret in the village that Naruto was his son, so Yamato couldn’t help wondering if Naruto discovered his parentage somehow. Maybe that was why he’d made the claim.

“That last time,” Naruto told him, “it was the fourth hokage who stopped my nine tails transformation.”

Yamato turned to Kakashi. “W-what does this mean? The fourth hokage passed away a long-“

“There are still many mysteries to the sealing jutsu, the Reaper Death Seal,” Kakashi said, weighing both Naruto’s and Yamato’s words. “He probably sealed his own mental energy into the sealing spell.”

Naruto sat up straighter. “That’s when the fourth hokage told me a guy wearing the Akatsuki mask instigated the nine tails incident sixteen years ago.”

Yamato’s jaw tightened as he watched Kakashi’s eye go wide. His heart beat faster at the thought of that man, the one in the orange mask and Akatsuki robes claiming to be Madara.

“And he was so strong,” Naruto said through gritted teeth, “even the fourth hokage was almost no match for him! On top of that, he said this guy was the mastermind that was probably using Pain. If Sasuke has joined the Akatsuki, then he’s also being used!”

“This is just what Master Jiraiya feared,” Kakashi whispered, the tension in his voice evident. “That incident sixteen years ago, to think _he_ was behind it. He possessed the Sharingan. He belonged to the Uchiha clan and left the village harboring great hatred. And only he, Madara, is capable of summoning the nine tails.”

“Anything is possible if it involves Madara,” Yamato had to admit. He shot Kakashi a frown. “So he’s still alive.”

“Who’s Madara?” Naruto said.

Kakashi explained the history of the Uchiha village founder who’d once fought against the first hokage, told Sai to report this new information to the hokage, and then turned to Naruto after Sai acknowledged his order.

“Naruto!” Kakashi said before his eye locked with Naruto’s and softened. “What did the fourth hokage say to you?”

Naruto clutched the folds of his sleeping bag, his knuckles curling and opening in a nervous gesture as he gasped and then smiled. Yamato smiled at the sight of the brightness in Naruto’s blue eyes. He’d never seen a smile that could light up a room the way Naruto’s could. Aside from that, Yamato had seen this same look on someone _else’s_ face just recently, and he knew what that smile meant.

“Fathers like to tell their sons all sorts of things, right?” Kakashi said.

Yamato shifted his gaze to Kakashi and simply admired what he saw. Kakashi’s eye creased with his hidden smile, his cheekbones rose, and his cheeks practically glowed. Happiness looked really good on him.

Naruto beamed. “He said...he believed in me!”

“Good! Naruto, you will go to the raikage!” Kakashi said with a thumbs up before clapping a hand on Yamato’s shoulder, the jolt _nothing_ in comparison to Kakashi’s proclamation. “With Yamato and I as your escorts.”

“What?” Yamato cried, glaring daggers at Kakashi and his _insanity._ “This is a bad idea!”

“What?” Kakashi said, still smiling. “Can’t listen to what I have to say, Tenzo?”

“Hey!” Yamato yelled. “You’re not supposed to call me by that name, remember?”

“Now, now...” Kakashi chuckled before waving for Yamato to follow him out of the tent. “Why don’t you come with me for a minute.”

Yamato pursued Kakashi into the bustling dirt street of the Hidden Leaf, grinding his teeth and clenching his fists. If he was any less mature, he would’ve stomped his feet as well. This idea was crazy. They were strictly forbidden to take any missions during this sensitive time of Akatsuki threat and turmoil among the hidden villages, let alone self-assigned ones that involved taking their village’s hero and sole jinchuriki _away_ from their village.

“Now,” Kakashi said sternly as he drew to a stop and planted his hands back into his pockets. “I am still your commanding officer, Yamato.”

Yamato sighed. “I know. But what you’re proposing–”

“You remember,” Kakashi said, removing one hand from his pocket with thumb and forefinger pinched around something he seemed to find very interesting, “the last team when I was your commanding officer?”

As he flicked away whatever had briefly held his interest, Yamato watched to see what would tumble to the ground. It fell slowly, nothing more than a speck of lint. It was nothing that should’ve held Kakashi’s attention. And yet, a moving shadow where it had landed caught Yamato’s eye. He shot his gaze straight back to Kakashi, hiding the fact that he’d noticed anything out of place.

With a nod, Yamato confirmed he understood. “I do remember.”

The ANBU. That was what Kakashi was telling him. Stealth missions had been Yamato’s speciality - he still knew the job well enough to recognize when he was being tailed, even by the Hidden Leaf’s best shinobi. Kakashi started walking again, guiding Yamato forward and away from Naruto’s tent. The ANBU shinobi didn’t follow. It wasn’t Kakashi or Yamato they were tracking. They were watching Naruto.

“Yamato,” Kakashi said with quiet intensity as they walked, “I need you to understand. It’s a risk and the chances of getting through to the raikage are low, I know, but it’s important to me to at least try this for Naruto, especially after what happened the last time.”

With the failed hunt for Sasuke. Kakashi didn’t have to say it. Yamato pursed his lips, wishing he had some solid argument to offer against Kakashi’s proposition, but as insane as this idea was, Yamato found it impossible to argue. He couldn’t be the one to deny Kakashi what was important to him. It was painfully clear how important it was to Naruto to make every effort possible to save Sasuke. And if Kakashi and Naruto were going to leave the Hidden Leaf Village, they _needed_ Yamato.

* * *

Yamato walked back into Naruto’s tent with Kakashi and crossed his arms. He was already feeling reluctant about the talk he’d just had, but now he didn’t like what he was coming back to. Naruto _already_ had his traveling cloak on. His hitai-ate was back in place. 

He stood proud, a broad smile on his face. “Okay, I’m ready!”

At least Kakashi looked unimpressed. Yamato wasn’t _completely_ alone here.

“It’s not okay!” Yamato said. “Are you serious about going to meet the raikage?”

“Yup!” Naruto smiled. “I’m going to ask him to forgive Sasuke.”

“But if you don’t even know where the raikage is–” Yamato stopped at the familiar pressure of Kakashi’s hand on his shoulder.

Kakashi gave him an eye smile. “So please help him out, Yamato.”

“What?”

Kakashi just _turned away._ “See you.” 

He walked out of the tent without another word, no consolation, no expression of appreciation for the efforts Yamato would have to put into the tailing Kakashi obviously wanted him to perform, or for the risks and possible consequences he would have to endure for following ninja from another village who were _supposed_ to be treated as Hidden Leaf guests.

“Kakashi-Senpai…” Yamato whined, his bottom lip pressing out as he watched the only man who could do this to him disappear from view.

As soon as Naruto left the tent with Konohamaru Sarutobi, Yamato set off to find the Hidden Cloud ninja and do exactly what Kakashi had asked of him, though he wondered _why_ he was really doing it. He tried to remember other captains and whether he would follow such unorthodox orders from them. The problem was, there was no comparison. No other captain had ever given Yamato orders to test his limits in the way Kakashi habitually did. Yamato groaned to himself with a roll of his eyes as he tracked the Hidden Cloud ninja to the Hidden Leaf’s temporary library - a place he knew they were bound to visit for information before hoping to confront Sasuke Uchiha. Maybe the reason Yamato let Kakashi boss him around this way was because he _liked_ it. He _liked_ Kakashi a little domineering. He loved Kakashi’s commanding authority and power, even if Kakashi took advantage of it too much. 

Yamato felt like a hopeless case.

He dropped signal seeds in the library, knowing at least one Hidden Cloud ninja was bound to pick them up. He watched from a high vantage, molding himself by jutsu into the earth of the hokage monument where the library was temporarily suspended against the rock. The moment the Cloud ninja stepped out and he sensed his seeds on the move, Yamato smiled down on his three unsuspecting targets.

“Now then,” he said to himself, “I should contact Kakashi and Naruto.”

And he would be proud to report his success to Kakashi in spite of how strongly he felt that this plan was something they would regret. Feelings were trumping judgement here, probably his own as well as Kakashi and Naruto’s. Yamato couldn’t deny Kakashi what he desired any more than he could deny Kakashi’s orders.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to adolescentlycan for looking this over with me and brainstorming so I could find out what was broken in the first draft ❤️


	14. The Truth Is Never Easy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Usually, when reviews are slow to come, I'm slower to update because I think that means I'm posting too fast and a lot of you are falling behind...but I'm feeling generous today and this chapter was practically written along with the last one, so here's an update in under a week!

The raikage didn’t have the answers Naruto wanted to hear.

This venture had gone about as well as Yamato had expected, but this was no time to tell either of his companions that he’d told them so. As Kakashi knelt to place a hand on Naruto’s back and tell him to raise his head, snowflakes rained down on them, freezing the air and quieting the pass. Naruto’s sniffles were the only sounds to break through Yamato’s morbid thoughts about Sasuke’s death which would be inevitable now at the hands of the Cloud ninja. When Naruto’s fist slammed into the snow, spraying the white powder into his golden hair and over Kakashi’s clothes, the impact sounded explosive. 

When Naruto finally decided to rise, when Kakashi didn’t offer another crazy suggestion like continuing this endeavor, Yamato was relieved. Kakashi declared they would find an inn to rest before returning to the Hidden Leaf.

* * *

Yamato wasn’t taking any chances at the inn. 

He followed Naruto to check the bare room and its exits while listening to the running water and Naruto’s movements at the tub. Yamato was finally able to sit while Kakashi scouted outside. He wasn’t relaxed, though. Knowing how vulnerable Naruto was, both in his current mental state and in his physical state of being so far from the village without his necklace, Yamato wouldn’t be able to sleep a wink here, not even with Kakashi on the lookout for danger. With Madara’s ability to materialize and dematerialize, all he needed was to know where to find Naruto and he would appear.

Spying on Naruto in mourning reminded Yamato of years ago when he surveilled fellow shinobi for the hokage as ANBU. Only now he felt worse, knowing and respecting Naruto so personally. Witnessing the despondent way Naruto laid himself on the floor, clearly thinking about Sasuke, made this one of Yamato’s hardest tasks. Naruto looked so sad curled into a fetal position. Yamato had never seen him still and silent for this long. Then, a shadow fell over him. 

A voice deeper than Naruto’s filled the room.

“Kakashi!” Yamato called out the window, forming the hand signs for Wood Pillar Jutsu. “It’s him!”

The entire inn trembled. With the sharp sound of snapping wood, shards blew out the side of the building and showered the white snow below. Even if Yamato hadn’t seen its spiraling blue light through his surveillance, he would know the cause of destruction was Naruto’s rasengan.

Madara sat in the frame of Naruto’s window, telling Naruto none of his attacks would work, keeping his arms crossed and his demeanor calm in spite of the hole blown through the structure behind him.

Yamato forced his wood pillars through the floor of Naruto’s room. As Madara disappeared from sight, Yamato extended his chakra around Naruto, caging him and the nine tails into his wooden cell every way possible. Once he spotted the masked figure’s reappearance above on the snowy roof, he extended some beams through the ceiling to meet him. Wielding the wood with a subtle shift of chakra, he commanded it to wrap around Madara, ensnaring him in a trap no normal ninja could escape. 

Yamato placed himself between Naruto’s cage and Madara’s unmoving form on the roof with his own transportation jutsu. Then he glared up at the mysterious ninja whose mask and stillness conveyed nothing of what he might do next.

“Naruto,” Yamato called over his shoulder, “you just stay put.”

When he spotted bright light, flickering white behind Madara, Yamato felt some relief. Kakashi’s mismatched eyes peered down at them as he moved his Chidori closer to Madara’s neck.

“As expected, Sharingan Kakashi,” Madara said to him. “You are fast.”

“We won’t let you get your hands on Naruto that easily,” Kakashi said, “Madara Uchiha.”

“You did just hear my last line, didn’t you? No attacks work against Madara Uchiha.”

Yamato bared his teeth at that remark. “I don’t know if you  _ are _ merely erasing your presence or if this is an astral projection, but I know it’s necessary for you to manifest physically in order to capture Naruto. Otherwise, you couldn’t actually grab him. We’ll aim for that.” 

He extended his wood beams even further, pushing them through the roof to cage in even Kakashi. They were here to protect Naruto _ , _ but Yamato felt uneasy with Kakashi so close to Madara. Yamato wasn’t about to let anything happen to  _ him, _ either. With his eyes sharp and hands ready to wield signs, Yamato watched Madara’s orange mask and cloaked figure for the slightest movement which would reveal his moment of vulnerability.

“This here,” Yamato told him, “is now my territory.”

Madara laughed. “I never thought it would be easy. You see, I have my own plan. But right now, I’d rather talk.”

Kakashi balked. “Talk?”

“Yes. What was it that made Pain, Nagato, turn into a traitor?” Madara said, cocking his orange mask toward Naruto. “Naruto, you have aroused my curiosity.”

Naruto flung himself forward, clutching his hands around the wooden bars Yamato created. “Who cares about something like that? What do you intend to do with Sasuke? Tell me about Sasuke!”

“Sasuke, huh?” Madara groaned wearily. “Very well. I’ll tell you about the man whose hatred of the ninja world runs through his bones to his very core. About Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke’s story cannot be told without mentioning Itachi. So first, hear the truth about Itachi….”

The Uchiha massacre.

Before it, Yamato had dedicated his life to the foundation, and then to the ANBU and the hokage. After it, he had even more reason to protect the Hidden Leaf. Given his recent personal developments, he wanted to protect the village and the people he treasured in it now more than ever. Yet hearing this claim that Itachi Uchiha, his past teammate who’d been declared an enemy for betraying the Hidden Leaf and his own clan, had been acting under ANBU orders when he’d slaughtered his entire clan except Sasuke, made Yamato question  _ everything. _

Itachi hadn’t seemed capable of such a rogue act back then. And now, Yamato hated to admit that  _ secret orders _ made more logical sense than the truth they’d been fed for years. Danzo  _ would _ order such a slaughter if he believed the dark act was in the best interest of the village. Itachi had always obeyed his ANBU captain without question when they were on Team Ro, no matter who had to die at his hand. If a ninja like  _ Itachi _ had gone against those orders to spare Sasuke out of love, he would protect Sasuke by any means with no regard to personal costs. Sweat trickled down Yamato’s brow as along with his own mental unpacking of this new information, or possible lie, he watched a ghastly look crossing Kakashi’s face. For Kakashi’s sake as Itachi’s past superior, Yamato didn’t  _ want _ this to be true. He wouldn’t believe it. Yamato was startled from his thoughts by Naruto’s thump from behind him, a strike to his wooden cage.

“You’re lying,” Naruto snarled. “That’s nonsense!”

“No,” Yamato said. “It can’t be.”

“Stop joking around,” Kakashi growled, his Chidori sparking brighter in the darkness. “Who’d believe that story?”

“It’s not a lie,” Madara said. “That’s the truth about Itachi. He died for Sasuke’s sake and for the Hidden Leaf Village.”

“What does that mean?” Kakashi said, the frustration evident in his voice. “Even if it is true, if Sasuke is aware of this, why would he help the Akatsuki? Knowing him, he would return to the Hidden Leaf to carry on Itachi’s will.”

Madara huffed a laugh. “As Sasuke’s teacher and his friends, you might have assumed you understood Sasuke’s true feelings. But you were badly mistaken. He’s the real thing. A true avenger. That’s what he is.”

“Did you turn Sasuke into that?” Naruto cried.

“No, I didn’t. Sasuke chose this himself.”

Naruto trembled enough for Yamato to feel it through the floorboards. “It’s a lie!”

“I took a gamble, too,” Madara said, acceding that there’d been the chance Sasuke  _ would _ carry on Itachi’s wishes.

“Why?” Naruto whispered, his head hanging. “Why him? Why did this happen? How could he turn to revenge?”

* * *

The encounter with Madara had gone on longer than Yamato would have liked, laden with mystery and short on answers. After adding more stories to his claim about the Uchiha massacre, like the legend of the Sage of Six Paths, the founder of the ninja, Madara disappeared into a vortex without ever making physical contact, claiming their conversation had been fun. 

He’d upset Naruto. He’d angered Kakashi.  _ Nothing _ had been fun about it.

“There’s absolutely no trace left,” Kakashi called down from the roof.

“The transportation technique,” Yamato said as Kakashi jumped down to meet him while he touched the floor and released his Wood Style jutsu, “it’s such a troublesome jutsu, isn’t it?”

“Kakashi-sensei,” Naruto said as the cage receded around him, “ what he was saying…”

Yamato stood, his voice as firm as the wooden beams he’d just taken down. “It’s dangerous to believe his story.”

“But if it’s true, Sasuke is–”

“Naruto,” Kakashi said, pulling his hitai-ate over his sharingan, “I know how you feel, but you must not be impatient. For now, we’ll keep what Madara said to ourselves...in absolute secrecy.”

Yamato locked eyes with Kakashi, intent on working with him to impress upon Naruto the importance of this order. Naruto had no idea what a revelation like this could do to the Hidden Leaf. They were all sworn to protect their village and at a time like this, that meant protecting its secrets - if that was even what this was. Yamato was still remiss to accept Madara’s tale. He could see Kakashi wasn’t ready to believe it, either.

“We’re in the midst of reconstruction and must avoid unnecessary mayhem,” Kakashi said. “Furthermore, until we cross-check the facts, we can’t trust him. There’s too much that we don’t know about his claim that the higher-ups in the Hidden Leaf used Itachi to slaughter the Uchiha clan. Especially you, Naruto. Do you understand?”

Naruto’s gaze was intense enough to relay understanding. It could also mean he had made a choice and was willing to go against his captain and his sensei if necessary. If Naruto chose the latter, Yamato would be ready to stop him by force. Under no circumstances would he let this story spread without solid proof. 

Naruto’s clenched fists shook at his sides as he finally relented, acknowledging Kakashi’s order with a scowl. The air dispelled from Yamato’s lungs as immense relief washed over him. The last thing Yamato wanted right now was to be at odds with Naruto. He couldn’t even say for sure which side Kakashi would support if Yamato had to stop him. Kakashi was a soldier and excellent captain who would always act on his duties - but this was Naruto. 

* * *

The innkeeper made a scene in the street the next morning when they tried to leave, citing the damage as he denounced ninja. While Naruto was fortunate enough to be up in the room, Yamato took the heat with Kakashi  _ just standing ther _ e like this wasn’t his problem. It was a good thing for the rest of the team that Yamato had skills to calm angered innkeepers and repair damaged buildings. 

After his work was done, Yamato stood on the roof with Kakashi to admire his refinished structure. Naruto balanced on the peak just above them, deep in meditation, achieving Sage Mode. But it was freezing outside. They’d been away from the Hidden Leaf long enough. Naruto couldn’t stay where he was. They had to move.

“Naruto,” Yamato called up, “come inside soon.”

Kakashi turned toward the ground below them. Yamato heard the familiar crunches of approaching footsteps and turned to follow Kakashi’s gaze to see Hidden Leaf ninja.

“Finally found you!” Kiba called up. 

Sniffed out by Inuzuka noses. Yamato wasn’t used to being on this end of that ability. At least they weren’t sought out as enemies, but  _ why _ they were sought out by Sakura and her friends at all was the real question.

“Sakura?” Naruto said, his eyelids tinted with Sage Mode as he stepped beside Yamato. “Sai, Kiba, and even Bushy Brows?” 

“Why did you all come here?” Kakashi said.

“Naruto,” Sakura called up, looking determined. “I need to talk to you.”

Yamato followed Naruto with a leap to the ground, landing lightly in the snow with Kakashi. He exchanged a wary glance with his captain, who also clearly read the strain in Sakura’s voice.

“You see,” she told Naruto, “I came to tell you Sasuke doesn’t mean anything to me anymore...because I love  _ you.” _

Yamato’s jaw dropped, along with everyone else’s. His eyes practically throbbed with the pressure building behind them, the headache forming there. Sakura didn’t love Naruto. Yamato had perhaps known them for the shortest amount of time out of anyone here aside from Sai and as Sakura’s superior - and even  _ he _ knew she only had eyes for Sasuke.

“Huh?” Naruto said. “W-what did you just say, Sakura? I think I heard wrong. Could you say it again?”

“Of course,” Sakura said, blushing,  _ looking _ like a girl in love. “I...love you, Naruto. I said Sasuke doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.” 

The urgency in her voice was obvious - almost desperate. She would need that level of commitment to convince Naruto. Yamato didn’t think even the most skilled ANBU kunoichi could’ve carried across  _ this _ message. Yamato glanced sideways at the subtle movement in his periphery. Kakashi’s shoulders sagged as he let loose a weary sigh. Maybe he knew what Sakura was trying to do here, but Yamato saw this doing nothing but adding new hurt to a situation that was already painful.

“I must have been crazy to have carried a torch for him for so long,” Sakura continued. “Listen carefully when someone confesses her feelings for you!”

“But why? What for?” Naruto growled, raising his hands helplessly. “This isn’t the place to be joking around. It’s not funny, Sakura. What’s going on?”

What  _ was _ going on, indeed. Naruto wasn’t falling for it, no surprise. But between Naruto’s question about the underlying meaning in Sakura’s apparent change of heart and Kakashi’s gaze darkening as he watched Sakura, Yamato figured something  _ had _ happened. It had to be something Sakura didn’t want Naruto to know. She was hiding something beyond the enduring strength of her feelings for Sasuke.

Sakura smiled as she insisted she woke up and accepted the reality that it was foolish to love a criminal, and with the squinting of her eyes and the raising pitch of her voice, Yamato recognized this for what it was. Sakura’s was one of the best fake smiles on their team when they’d learned to tolerate one another at the onset of Yamato’s leadership. At Naruto’s growl and Sakura’s repetition that Naruto could stop chasing after Sasuke, Yamato decided he’d had enough of this.

“What’s going on?” he said as he threw himself forward.

He was stopped abruptly by Kakashi’s firm arm barring across his chest. With a grunt at the impact, Yamato looked to Kakashi to see his counterpart intently watching the interaction between his students. They were all serving as spectators to Sakura’s sport of making Naruto look like a fool, but for some reason, Kakashi wanted to let this play out. Yamato chewed his cheek and stepped back. He wished he  _ knew _ what Kakashi was thinking, but he could trust him without having to know.

“Sakura, did something happen?” Naruto said. “This is all so sudden.”

Sakura threw her hands out. “Nothing happened! It’s obvious why I fell in love with you.”

She moved forward, drawing Naruto into an embrace. Her white cloak draped around them both as Naruto’s arms fell limp to his sides, his body language conveying his dumbfounded emotions. Sakura whispered words to him as soft as the look on her face. When Naruto finally raised his hand, it was to push Sakura off of him.

He clutched her by the arms. “Cut it out, Sakura. This joke isn’t funny at all!”

Sakura looked hurt before her fake smile was back in place and she tried her claim again. Yamato hurt just  _ watching _ this. He saw the pain it was causing Naruto. He wouldn’t want to know that pain. To hear a confession from the person he loved, only to know it wasn’t genuine? Yamato would rather make it to the grave without hearing any confession at all.

Naruto dug his fingers into Sakura’s cloak. “I hate people who lie to themselves!”

“I’m lying to myself?” Sakura answered with a glare. She smacked Naruto’s hand off of her. “I’m the one who decides how I feel! If you hate me, just come out and say so! Don’t just make up a convenient excuse!”

“But it doesn’t make sense!” Naruto said, raising his palms. “You came all the way out here just to tell me that?”

Sakura’s next outburst was loaded with fury, but also with the many reasons she cared for Naruto. It was confusing, seeing how clearly she cared about and worried for him while witnessing the juxtaposition of what she was doing to him, which she had to realize was painful for the boy who’d loved her without reciprocation for years because she was so tied up in someone else.

Naruto lowered his head. “I think it just sounds like a painful excuse. I know you pretty well, Sakura.”

A painful excuse. And wasn’t that what Yamato was doing by using his duty as a shinobi to put off having to tell Kakashi how he felt? Kakashi came with his own complications, but that was nothing as hard as loving a rogue ninja. If Sakura was expected to stay true to her feelings in light of all that had happened, Yamato would fall under Naruto’s scrutiny of people lying to themselves as well. He was pretty sure he and Kakashi  _ both _ would.

“Then why don’t you understand?” Sakura cried. “I don’t care about Sasuke now that he’s a criminal. So the promise between us doesn’t matter anymore!”

“It’s not just about the promise,” Naruto said before quietly explaining the depth of Sasuke’s love for his clan and resulting obsession with revenge.

“If he were so devoted,” Kiba piped in, “why would he join the Akatsuki after defeating the unforgivable Itachi?”

“That’s not how it went down,” Naruto said. “What really happened–”

“Naruto!” Kakashi snapped.

Naruto raised his head, snapping to his senses with Kakashi’s sharp reprimand. Yamato breathed a sigh of relief. That kid. He’d almost let the issue of love distract him and expose the greatest accusation of conspiracy to ever threaten the Hidden Leaf  _ right after _ they’d all agreed to keep it between themselves. This was why duty and love didn’t mix, even if Naruto now had Yamato questioning that most basic of ninja rules.

After Naruto told his friends that he  _ personally _ wanted to save Sasuke, Kiba stepped forward to whisper something in Sakura’s ear. As she stomped on Kiba’s foot, Yamato realized all of this had to be some sort of ruse agreed upon by their group. And the plan had failed, clearly, as Sakura yelled at her friends to retreat to the village, telling Naruto to forget it.

They walked away, their sandals crunching in the snow, Akamaru looking over his furry shoulder with puppy dog eyes. Yamato squinted when he thought he caught Sai hesitating to peer between the buildings. But after they left, Kakashi, Yamato and Naruto remained alone again in the street to absorb what had happened. 

When they returned to the inn, Sai stepped forward as Naruto opened the door. Sai had definitely left with the others. Yamato recalled Sai’s look before leaving. It made sense now. He was leaving this clone behind.

“Sai!” Naruto said. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s a clone,” Kakashi said.

“I’m going to tell you,” Sai’s clone said, “what Sakura really wanted to say earlier, but couldn’t.”

Naruto grimaced. “Really wanted to say?”

“What do you mean, Sai?” Yamato asked, hopeful to finally hear the truth.

“Sakura didn’t come to confess her love for you. The Hidden Leaf ninja have come to a consensus and I’m here to inform you.”

“I thought it was strange,” Naruto said. “So she  _ was _ hiding something after all.”

“I’ve come to understand her feelings,” the clone said. “Why Sakura couldn’t bring herself to tell you.”

Naruto clenched his teeth.  _ “Tell _ me, Sai...about the consensus.”

“The Hidden Leaf will deal with Sasuke,” Sai’s clone said, his eyes narrowing. “Every one of your comrades is committed to that and will act accordingly.”

_ Deal with. _ A member of the Foundation didn’t use that phrasing lightly. Yamato found it hard to believe, after all the effort the fifth hokage and Hidden Leaf ninja had dedicated to returning Sasuke Uchiha to the village since Yamato’s joining Team Kakashi, that these young ninja who’d been his academy classmates would be willing to make such a final decision. 

Kakashi appeared to be equally shocked by the revelation. Naruto looked absolutely horrified as he shook Sai’s clone by the shoulders, asking how Sakura could really agree to that. Sai’s clone explained it was Sasuke’s decision to join the Akatsuki that changed the Hidden Leaf ninjas’ minds. After what the Akatsuki had done to the Hidden Leaf, Sasuke couldn't be recognized as one of their own anymore, not even by the person who loved him the most. Kakashi sighed with a shake of his head, looking just as tired of this as Yamato felt.

“Then why,” Naruto said, balling his fists by his sides, “didn’t she just come out and tell me the truth?”

“It wasn’t that simple. You know that,” Kakashi said, his eye darting sideways to meet Yamato just long enough for Yamato to catch his glance before it disappeared. “She understood how hurt you would feel.”

Yamato grunted at Kakashi’s wordless communication. What was that? Did Kakashi expect Yamato to understand Sakura’s motives, too? Or did he think of Yamato because he had similar fears of hurting  _ him? _

“But still…” Naruto said.

While Yamato studied Kakashi for any chance of clarity, Sai’s clone told Naruto what Sakura sought to accomplish by declaring her love for Naruto. When Yamato gave up, realizing his efforts to read Kakashi were useless, the clone told them that Naruto’s determination to rescue Sasuke in spite of all of that was why Sakura had walked away without telling the truth. He suspected she’d anticipated that answer from Naruto. But the clone claimed Sakura had said telling him the truth was her duty and no one else’s.

There was that word again - duty. It sparked an alarm in Yamato, who knew too well how shinobi’s feelings of obligation to duty could lead to destructive decisions. Sai’s clone said Sakura  _ expected _ this plea not to work. That meant her plan hadn’t failed. It was something else.

“But if she was expecting Naruto’s reaction,” Yamato said, concerned, “she never intended to tell him the truth, right? What is Sakura planning to do?”

“This is just an assumption on my part,” the clone said, his brows bowing, “but I believe Sakura…”

“She intends to kill Sasuke herself,” Kakashi said.

Yamato looked at Sai’s clone with wide eyes. “Is that true, Sai?”

He nodded. “Probably. Sakura smiled and told everyone she would cooperate. But this time, I saw through her fake smile.”

“No way,” Naruto said. “Sakura wouldn’t do such a thing. She’s crazy about Sasuke.”

Sai’s clone told Naruto Sakura  _ would _ do such a thing precisely because she loved Sasuke so much. She couldn’t bear to watch her loved one fall any further down the path of evil. She saw death as another way to save him, and intended to resolve everything alone this time without relying on Naruto, even if it meant bearing his hatred. Naruto couldn’t understand why Sai was telling him this, but Sai’s clone explained he felt partly to blame for provoking Sakura. He also felt responsible as a member of Team Seven, and Yamato felt himself well with pride at hearing that, knowing how far Sai had come, knowing what it was like coming from the Foundation and learning how to feel.

* * *

Their conversation ended abruptly after a trio of Sand ninja appeared. 

Temari, Kankuro, and Gaara had come directly from the five kage summit to tell Kakashi what happened there: Danzo, rejected as the sixth hokage after being caught manipulating stolen sharingan. Sasuke, attacking the summit. Madara, declaring war on the ninja world. In the aftermath, the other kage, unanimously agreeing to name  _ Kakashi Hatake _ as the Leaf’s new hokage.

Yamato crossed his arms and furrowed his brows. “I see. Who would have thought the meeting would become so intense. I guess with Danzo…”

Yamato looked to Kakashi, cutting himself off as he realized Kakashi already understood exactly what he would have to say about Danzo, and Naruto would hopefully never be able to relate. Kakashi met Yamato’s gaze, his dark eye almost pleading.

“I’m not too eager about becoming the hokage,” he said with a shrug that illustrated the newly added weight to his shoulders, “and even if the situation requires me to accept, I’ll have to return to the Hidden Leaf village first and hear what the others say.”

Temari’s gaze hardened. “Madara has declared war on us! There’s no time to deliberate.”

“I’m sure everyone will approve,” Yamato said, knowing the approval would be to Kakashi’s dismay. Kakashi gave him a look like he was surprised to hear this. “We should have them proceed on the premise that you are the hokage, Kakashi.”

Keeping a serious face was difficult. Yamato had never seen Kakashi look so openly dismayed about anything. The slouching set of his shoulders seemed to deepen as his hung head lower and his visible eye looked wearier. Yamato didn’t know how to feel about his secret boyfriend becoming the hokage. He wouldn’t even begin to explore those feelings at a time like this.

“If our response is delayed,” Yamato added, “and the Akatsuki and Madara take the advantage, that would be even worse.”

Kakashi looked over his shoulder, meeting Yamato’s eyes. “I guess you’re right. Thanks.”

“And Sasuke…” Yamato sighed, knowing there was a lot to unpack here. “For him to attack the summit…”

“Naruto,” the kazekage said, “this is a battle to protect the eight tails and the nine tails. Namely, you.”

He swore as the kazekage he would protect Naruto with his life if Sasuke was to attack. It would be not only for Naruto, but for the ninja world. Temari bid Kakashi goodbye with the understanding he would be acting as hokage and there should be no ill will between their villages. Naruto looked into the distance, upset, and Yamato was seized with an urge to step forward and say something to him. 

Like earlier, Kakashi stopped him with the firm strength of his arm. “Let him find the answers himself.”

They stood in the cold, a fraction of Team Seven, letting recent happenings settle like the falling snow.

Yamato stepped toward Kakashi, deciding it was time for their next move. “So? What do we do now? In any case, I think we should return to the Hidden Leaf and report what happened at the summit. And also about Sakura.”

Sai’s clone shifted toward Kakashi. “The real me is accompanying Sakura. She won’t be allowed to get near Sasuke! You can count on that.”

“But it would be better to go in person and talk her out of it,” Kakashi said, closing his eyes, breathing in the chilled air, and reopening with a decisive look about him. “All right! Yamato, take Naruto and head back to the village.” He peeled a hand from his pocket to prod a thumb into his own chest. “I’ll bring Sakura back. Sakura is no match for Sasuke. It would be like she’s going there to die. I’ll dispatch the ninja hounds with a report about the summit since it’s urgent.”

Yamato nodded. “Understood.”

“Sai,” Kakashi said, “take me to Sakura.”

The clone nodded. “Yes.”

Kakashi snapped his gaze to Naruto. “Naruto! Is something wrong?”

Yamato followed his gaze to see Naruto clutching his chest, falling to his knees, and then tipping to the side to pant in the snow. Yamato hovered over him as Sai’s clone and Kakashi did the same.

“Calm down, Naruto!” Kakashi said.

“He’s hyperventilating,” Yamato said.

“Breathe slowly,” Kakashi said.

But Naruto’s breathing only became more erratic until his eyes closed.

“Naruto!” Yamato said.

“Ah, he’s really destroying himself about Sasuke,” Kakashi said.

“I’ve got him,” Sai’s clone said, kneeling down to sweep Naruto’s unconscious form into his arms. “He should rest before moving again. I’ll take him back to his room.”

“Thank you, Sai.” Kakashi nodded before turning to Yamato. “You’ll have to stay here with him while we go after Sakura.”

Yamato watched Sai slip out of view. He turned to Kakashi. “I guess–”

Kakashi shoved Yamato against the wall of the inn, into the shadowed alley abutting the neighboring building. Before Yamato could catch his breath, Kakashi’s mask was down, his bared lips finding Yamato’s. The warmth was incredible in contrast to the numbing effect of the cold air. His kiss felt needy, and as Kakashi’s tongue slid against his and Kakashi’s hand grazed his side, warming Yamato’s heart as much as his lips, Yamato wondered what had gotten into him. Kakashi broke the kiss, tipping his head forward as their heaving breaths clouded the air between them. His hitai-ate pressed softly against Yamato’s forehead as Kakashi slipped his mask back into place. 

Yamato licked his lips. “What was that for?”

Maybe watching Naruto in such a helpless state had alarmed Kakashi to the extent that he needed the calming effect of a kiss. Or maybe it was his dread of his possible new position as village leader. Maybe it was Sakura’s confession, that talk of love reminding Kakashi to seize what was important while he had it. Maybe it was what he was about to do.

“I can’t kiss you goodbye?” Kakashi asked nonchalantly as he pulled away. “Take care of Naruto for me.”

Yamato seized Kakashi by the wrist. “What are you going to do?”

Kakashi’s visible eye narrowed. “Whatever I have to.”

He tugged away, but Yamato refused to let go. Kakashi thought he was prepared to kill Sasuke. And he would do it, Yamato knew, but Kakashi wouldn’t be prepared for the aftermath. He loved Sasuke just as he loved the other members of Team Seven. He’d made so much progress recently with his emotions, yet killing Sasuke would only set him back to the way he was in his ANBU days. Yamato couldn’t bear to let that happen.

“Wait!” Yamato told him, tugging Kakashi closer. “You won’t be able to live w–”

Kakashi slipped his wrist free, his gaze darkening. “Just worry about Naruto.  _ Protect _ him, Yamato. I’m counting on you.”

Their eyes locked and for a split second, Yamato saw the remorse and fear coursing through Kakashi. Kakashi turned away and stepped out into the street, his white cloak fluttering behind him as an icy gust breezed through the alleyway, giving Yamato a chill not quite as frigid as the look in Kakashi’s eye. 

“Sai! Let’s go!” Kakashi called as he slipped a kunai from his pack, slashed it across his thumb, struck it into the snow, and began forming the seals for his summons. 

Yamato shivered and wrapped his arms around himself, but he was sure the chill he felt was caused more by seeing an old ghost than the temperature. He hadn’t seen Kakashi like this since Team Ro. Now, he didn’t know which Kakashi would come back to him - the one who had finally let warmth into his heart, or the man who had left him once before.


	15. Sleep on It

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to adolescentlycan again for beta reading this chapter for me!

Yamato had plenty of time to stew in his worries while waiting for Naruto to regain consciousness. He still nodded off from time to time, finding comfort in the warmth of the inn while coping with the exhaustion from his emotions. Every time his head snapped up and his eyes opened, he remembered the look in Kakashi’s eye as he left. He remembered that Sai and Kakashi were on their way to rescue Sakura, which possibly meant killing Sasuke. He remembered that there were things he could do to stop it. And he remembered that he was a ninja with orders, doing his job by remaining behind to escort the Hidden Leaf’s jinchuriki and the nine tails _within_ him safely back to their village. 

Naruto sat up, stirring Yamato’s pensive atmosphere.

Yamato inhaled deeply. “You’re finally awake?”

Naruto looked around. “It was a dream? Where am I?”

“You lost consciousness,” Yamato said, raising his palm. “You had us worried.”

Naruto’s blue eyes widened. “Where are Kakashi-sensei and Sai?”

Yamato frowned. Thinking about where they were was all he’d done for the past hour. 

Naruto looked out the window, watching the snow fall in swirling trails of white. “I see. Why? Why did it turn out like this?”

Yamato crawled over to him. “Naruto. You should rest a bit longer. Come on.”

He didn’t want to think about the why, not for his sake or for Naruto’s. It was easier to focus on Naruto. Yamato guided Naruto to lay back down before pulling up the covers of his sleeping bag. He sat cross-legged by Naruto’s bedside, watching him intently. 

Naruto’s expression looked tired and miserable. His skin was dewy with sweat. Yamato felt the same on the inside, though he knew he projected a look of control on the outside. When Naruto fell asleep, he looked calm enough for Yamato to step away and attend to his own comfort. 

Yamato returned to bring Naruto a bowl of hot food, finding Naruto sitting upright, looking better. He set the bowl down and crossed his legs. “How are you feeling? I had them make some porridge. Eat it and restore your strength.”

“I...was dreaming about Sasuke,” Naruto admitted.

Yamato tried not to soften, knowing what path Naruto‘s mind was heading down, knowing it was up to him to be firm here. “You’re going back to the village with me. Those are Kakashi’s orders.”

But what if Naruto _didn’t_ do that?

Yamato could see Naruto‘s gears turning. He would run to Sasuke the moment he had a chance. Naruto knew just as well as Yamato that Kakashi wouldn’t pull any punches if Sasuke posed a threat to him or Sakura. It _was_ Kakashi’s orders that he and Naruto return to the village, and Yamato intended to fulfill them. Kakashi knew Yamato too well to have to worry he might disobey, in spite of his personal feelings about the situation. But Naruto was different. He would try to pull something over on Yamato. He would try to be _present_ for that confrontation.

As if attuned to Yamato’s thoughts, Naruto stood and walked toward the other side of the room. Yamato gathered his chakra. He wouldn’t take the risk of being too slow if Naruto planned to evade him. He’d been through many missions of this type. Retaining ninja where they didn’t want to be held was an instinctive skill of his. So the moment Naruto reached for his pack perched against the wall, Yamato shot out wood beams, readying them to close around Naruto.

“I’m sorry,” he said as Naruto turned, “but you just have to let Kakashi handle Sasuke. Got it?”

It was hard to say when even _he_ hated leaving it in Kakashi’s hands. But he managed to meet Naruto’s sad eyes with a hard glare.

Naruto turned away. “Fine. Let me rest some more. Then we can head back to the village.”

Yamato withdrew his wood beams, his hands remaining poised in the signs for the jutsu in case it was needed again. When Naruto made no move, Yamato finally let his hands fall into his lap.

“You should eat a little to restore your strength,” he said.

“I don’t have an appetite.” Naruto returned to his sleeping bag. 

He pulled the covers over his head. Yamato sat back, sighing at the conflict within him, questioning why he hadn’t let Naruto escape him. The situation was bound to be violent when Kakashi encountered Sasuke. No one could avoid that certainty - except maybe Naruto. Only Naruto had a chance of _persuading_ Sasuke, of changing the outcome in a way that would not end with Kakashi hurt in one way or another. But Yamato had orders. He had to keep Naruto out of harm’s way. 

The war waging within him was more exhausting than actual battle, but eventually, one side claimed victory. As the steaming porridge at his side cooled, Yamato let himself drift, joining Naruto in sleep, hoping for something to happen during his slumber he could be given no blame for having allowed.

* * *

Even more than he’d been relieved to awaken at the inn to find that Naruto had seized his chance for escape, Yamato was happy after tracking him to this bridge to find Naruto, Kakashi, and Sakura all safe. There was a red-haired girl he didn’t recognize with them, but no Sasuke, and from the looks of it, the kunoichi didn’t pose a threat to his comrades. The outcome he’d hoped for had been achieved.

From high above the others, Yamato formed the seals to create a cage Naruto couldn’t possibly escape. He reprimanded Naruto for being here when they _should_ have been returning to the village, making a show of his indignation. He was able to sell the lie by channeling the only thing about this that _really_ upset him, which was finding the hole Naruto had left in the inn floor in the process of his escape.

Over his shoulder, Kakashi called up to Yamato. “Naruto came in the nick of time, but it seems you didn’t send him over.” 

Yamato cringed at the suspicious accusation laden in Kakashi’s tone. For the sake of appearances in front of their students, and maybe with the hopes he could actually let this one slip past Kakashi, Yamato flailed in his response.

“Of course not!” he cried. “After all, you told me to take Naruto back to the village!” 

His voice seemed to echo through the chasm while Kakashi’s came back muted and calm, but just as striking.

“In essence,” Kakashi said, “Naruto left you behind.”

“No,” Yamato said, cringing at the insult to his competence hidden beneath those words. “Well…”

“It turned out fine, Yamato,” Kakashi said before Yamato could fret any further. “If Naruto hadn’t come, Sakura might have been dead now. And maybe even me, depending on the circumstances.”

Yamato sighed while the kunoichi spoke to the others quietly, and from his cage high above the others, Naruto said something about Sasuke being Sasuke. They all looked weary. Naruto looked possibly sick. But when Kakashi called up to Yamato asking him to forgive Naruto, Yamato released his jutsu without hesitation. When Naruto’s feet touched the bridge again, Yamato turned away, telling the others to go on ahead.

“What about you?” Kakashi called up.

It was ridiculous how much that made his heart soar. Kakashi didn’t want to return to the village without him. In that moment, Yamato wished deeply for the ability to walk back to the village with them, to have all that time to spend by Kakashi’s side at a leisurely pace. He cursed Naruto for having denied him that opportunity as he met Kakashi’s gaze with a frown.

“I’m going back to the inn to repair the hole Naruto made,” he explained.

Naruto laughed, his brows bowed, that face so hard to stay angry with. “Sorry, Captain Yamato.”

“Honestly,” Yamato grumbled as he formed the signs and transported himself back to the cold, angry inhabitants of the inn for more rebuilding. 

If only there were medals for these things he did. 

* * *

Yamato never felt more relieved to have a job completed, to be home with his sandals kicked off and his chakra put to rest. His first day back in the Hidden Leaf had been even more taxing emotionally than it had been physically. There was a lot to absorb while burying himself in reconstruction work.

Their village was preparing for war.

Lord Danzo was dead, killed by Sasuke. Yamato felt many things about that. Like a pinched nerve, the tingle of confusing emotions extinguished to be replaced by total numbness. There was a time Danzo was the only authority figure he’d known. But the more Yamato had grown, the more he’d realized how little he meant to Danzo, and more importantly, how little Danzo meant to him.

Kakashi was to be inducted as hokage _tomorrow._ Yamato hadn’t even seen him since the Land of Iron, and for all he knew, the next time he’d see his boyfriend, he could be calling him Lord Kakashi. Kakashi had had a busy day, too. Yamato had heard and seen evidence of his adventures. He wouldn’t blame Kakashi if he decided to retire alone for the night.

So when Yamato’s wards dropped and the door to his newly rebuilt apartment opened, Yamato felt a smile uplifting his tired face. When Kakashi slunk inside with a look on his half-covered face to match the wilting of the colorful bouquet cradled in his arm, Yamato felt a laugh breeze past his lips. 

He’d seen Guy’s clone of a student at the florist stand earlier in the day, picking up flowers at the behest of his sensei, which he’d claimed were for a race. Yamato was confused at the time, but seeing Kakashi with that same bouquet of flowers made it all click. Everyone had been talking about the spectacle of a pair of jonin running through the construction sites of the village. It looked like Kakashi had won.

“Yo,” Kakashi drawled as he toed off his sandals.

Yamato waited from his bed for Kakashi to meet his gaze before saying, “Should I be worried?”

“Well,” Kakashi said, deepening his slouch on his approach, tossing the bouquet aside so it rustled when it hit the nearby table, “I guess I’d have to say that depends.”

Yamato’s lip twitched into a smirk. “It looks like I have competition. Who’s trying to woo you?”

Kakashi scoffed and slid onto the edge of Yamato’s mattress. “The whole village. Get in line.”

He flopped back onto the bed as Yamato laughed. Yamato curled around Kakashi, pulling him close, cradling him like he was actually a child in need of coddling. Kakashi leaned into it like he’d been waiting for this embrace his entire life.

Yamato stroked Kakashi’s hair, removing Kakashi’s hitai-ate in the process. He set it aside and looked down on Kakashi’s closed eyes and tired face. “That bad?”

“As soon as they learned of Danzo’s death and my nomination as successor, Koharu and Homura gave me a pep talk,” Kakashi said without opening his eyes.

Yamato groaned. “Those two might be the only ones in the village to actually mourn him.”

Kakashi grunted his agreement. “The village never ran as well as when Hiruzen was in the front and Danzo in the back. So apparently - I need to get a confidant.” Kakashi opened his right eye, locking it on Yamato. “Will you be my Danzo, Tenzo?”

Yamato scoffed, feeling the reaction viscerally. If it wasn’t for the obvious sarcasm laden in Kakashi’s tone and expression, he would argue. But for now, Yamato let that one slide with a grimace and shake of his head. Kakashi wouldn’t need such a thing. Yamato doubted any of the “good” Danzo thought he did for the village was actually so, especially after what they’d recently heard of the Uchiha massacre.

“The stone carver,” Kakashi continued, “wanted to plaster my face _without_ my mask to make a mold for my great stone face as a hokage.”

Yamato inched closer. “You’re not going to let him do that, are you?”

Kakashi huffed. “You sound just as put-off as I am.”

Yamato pursed his lips and shrugged under Kakashi’s scrutinizing, one-eyed gaze. “I like having the rare privilege of being one of the few to ever see this face.”

He cupped Kakashi’s cheek through the mask, envisioning the skin beneath, imagining the expression Kakashi might be making in reaction to those words to match the softening of his brow.

Kakashi let out a slow, deep hum and closed his eye again. “And then there was Guy, with another challenge for me.”

Yamato snorted. “On a day like today? How could he assume you had time for that?”

Kakashi opened his eye to meet Yamato’s gaze, its curve indicating his smile. “It was fun, actually.”

Yamato smiled back. “He really cares about you.”

“Yeah,” Kakashi said as he turned his gaze to the wall and pressed his hand on top of Yamato’s, resting it on his chest, “he’s a good friend.”

Yamato was glad Guy had broken up the overwhelming responsibility of Kakashi’s day with the fun of their silly rivalry. It seemed to be the levity Kakashi needed, much like taking a break to share a bowl of ramen with Sai had broken up Yamato’s day earlier. However, Yamato was far from satisfied with that. He could tell Kakashi needed something more, too.

“Kakashi,” he said, adjusting to lean over Kakashi, lacing their fingers together, “I know it’s not what you want, but...you can do this. You can be a great hokage.”

Kakashi pulled his mask down to show Yamato his wry smile. “You must be forgetting who you’re talking to.”

Yamato held Kakashi’s gaze as he stroked his cheek, enjoying the warmth of his bare skin. “I know exactly who I’m talking to.”

Kakashi fluttered his heavy-lidded lashes before licking his lips. “Tenzo.”

Yamato leaned down and kissed Kakashi softly, finding those lips as warm as they’d been in the Land of Iron. “I think...you need to relax.”

Yamato flipped Kakashi’s palm in his and joined it with his other hand to unfasten and peel off the glove. Kakashi’s breathing grew shallow as Yamato tossed the glove aside and reached for his other hand. When Yamato looked up from discarding the second glove, Kakashi had both eyes intently locked on him. Yamato unzipped Kakashi’s vest, met his eyes as the bolstered fabric parted, and saw a spark of something in that sharingan that made him shiver.

Kakashi grabbed the hem of Yamato’s shirt, peeling it overhead, barely giving Yamato a chance to wiggle out of it. By the time the navy blue fabric was cleared from his view, Kakashi was already shirtless, unfastening buttons at his waist. The contours of his muscles dipping into the waistband of his pants looked like a work of art. Yamato’s mouth went dry. He felt like it had been so long since he’d seen Kakashi undress. With a sharp breath, he worked his fingers through the same quick motions as Kakashi. His excitement was building, the atmosphere thick with unsated desire. Before he dropped his pants, Kakashi pressed against him - warm, solid flesh and a beating heart.

Kakashi’s lips clashed with his in a bruising kiss. As Kakashi’s hand found Yamato’s cheek and slid down his neck, drawing Yamato into a kiss that pulled him deeper into the mattress, Yamato finally kicked off his pants. He supported himself with one hand while sliding the other down Kakashi’s side, under his ribs, down the center line of his abdomen.

Kakashi bucked and exhaled. “Fuck, it’s been too long.”

Yamato moaned as he found Kakashi’s cock through his underwear, curling his fingers around it. “One mission after _another._ You don’t know how badly I miss fucking you.”

“Show me.”

“I will.” With a calming breath, Yamato removed his hands and pushed up to sit back on his heels, intent on meeting Kakashi’s eyes before going any further. “Wait. I want to take my time with you. After tomorrow, I don’t know how much time we’ll have to be together like this, Kakashi. Forget about your responsibilities tonight. Just worry about me.”

He slid over Kakashi, aligning their bodies and pressing their lips together before Kakashi could respond. Yamato had said what he needed to say. He didn’t want to think of this as goodbye, but as he stroked Kakashi’s cock and listened to Kakashi hiss through his teeth, he drank up every sound and movement like it was the last time he might hear or feel this.

He broke their kiss to lean over to the bedside table. Its contents were still stark and bare after being so recently rebuilt, but Yamato had stored oil in anticipation of this. The bottle rolled loudly with the opening of the drawer and Yamato snatched it by ear and made quick work of coating his fingers. He rubbed his lips against Kakashi’s jaw and his fingers against his hole, coaxing the ring of muscle to relax.

“This,” Kakashi panted, “is the only good thing to come from being forced into this position.”

Yamato slipped his finger inside. “I can force you into a few positions.”

“You think so?” Kakashi said with a twist and a moan.

There was a challenge in Kakashi’s question, but more than anything, Yamato could tell he was intrigued. Yamato worked a second finger inside and scissored them, loving the way he could direct Kakashi’s entire body to yield to him with such simple adjustments. He could see that Kakashi _wanted_ Yamato to take care of him, surprise him, and indulge him.

Sliding his free hand down Kakashi’s inner thigh, Yamato traced the line of muscle from his groin to his knee. Kakashi watched down the length of his body, his attentive gaze looking like a glare with his sharingan glimmering red in the dim apartment light.

Yamato lifted Kakashi’s leg to press against his face, kissed the pale flesh, and then pulled Kakashi forward, hooking his calf over Yamato’s shoulder. Then with a shuddering breath, Yamato fisted his own cock. It sat heavy and neglected between his thighs, resting on the cool sheets, hard enough that it _hurt_ to give just that simple sensation of an oiled palm. He gave himself a few firm strokes to prepare for the sensation he was about to feel. He knew he should’ve done more, but impatience won over while watching Kakashi’s sinewy body and hearing his moans.

Sliding into Kakashi was the sweetest thing he’d felt in weeks. He tried to remember the last time they’d been this close, when he’d been inside Kakashi or Kakashi had been inside of him, and he marveled at this warm and tight sensation, at the fact that it could still feel like the first time.

“Kakashi,” he rasped with the same slowness with which he entered him.

He hitched Kakashi’s knee higher, spreading him wider. Kakashi groaned and shifted, digging his fingernails into the sheets and his heel between Yamato’s shoulder blades. He tossed his head back into the pillow with a throaty moan. Yamato leaned forward, bending Kakashi practically in half as he thrusted deeper and sought Kakashi’s lips.

“Oh,” Kakashi moaned as their lips barely touched. Their breaths fanned each other’s faces as Kakashi’s eyes screwed shut.

Yamato found Kakashi’s bottom lip and sucked it in as he drew his hips back. “How’s this for a position?”

A sharp sting on his ass made Yamato gulp the air he’d been breathing. Kakashi’s fingers splayed across his skin and _pressed._

“Good,” Kakashi said, “now fuck me.”

Yamato smiled and drew back from the undulation of Kakashi’s eager hips. _“Oh,_ no. I told you. I’m taking my time with you.”

“Tenzo,” Kakashi groaned, but clipped his usual drawl when Tenzo sheathed himself fully again, slowly but deliberately.

Kakashi’s hand on Yamato’s ass traveled up his hip, transforming his desperate grab into a soft embrace. Yamato turned his lips into the crook of Kakashi’s neck, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses as he concentrated on delivering enticingly slow, even thrusts to his lover. Kakashi moaned, held him tighter, and every once in a while, gave a sharp inhale that Yamato interpreted as a very good sign. He could feel every inch of Kakashi like this. With every thrust, the sensitivity seemed to reach a higher level. The cock sliding against Yamato’s moving abdomen was as hard as a rock. Kakashi could probably cum at any moment. 

Yamato wasn’t ready to let that happen.

He stilled deep inside, releasing Kakashi’s leg to slide down his shoulder as he kissed him deeply. Kakashi seemed to object, but the grunts and sudden movements he made didn’t deter Yamato. He held Kakashi’s lips, concentrating on them, on the smooth moist skin rolling and pressing against his lips. He prodded his tongue into the depths of Kakashi’s mouth while feeling but patiently _ignoring_ the pulsing pressure around his cock. Every inch of Kakashi seemed reactive as Yamato slid his hands down lean arms, wrapped a hand to cradle around the base of Kakashi’s neck beneath soft wisps of hair, and rolled his abdomen forward just to _feel_ the thickness and rigidity of Kakashi’s cock. The sounds Kakashi made in his ear didn’t hurt, either. 

Yamato closed his eyes and groaned. If they kept this up, _he_ wasn’t going to last much longer. His body trembled with the efforts of holding himself above Kakashi; or maybe it was the denial of his own satisfaction causing his body to rebel.

“Tenzo,” Kakashi panted.

“I…” Tenzo breathed, shaking his head as his nerves blazed with the rising orgasm he fought to suppress, “I wanted this to go on for hours. You–”

“Can’t,” Kakashi growled, biting off his words.

He dug his fingers into Yamato’s back. His entire body trembled. Warmth splashed across Yamato’s gut. Kakashi let out a guttural sound. Yamato grinded deeper, clenching his eyes shut as he endured the pulsing rhythm of Kakashi’s orgasm milking his cock until he couldn’t take anymore. He clutched Kakashi closer, growling through the sudden wave of his climax while Kakashi became a flailing mess below him. If Yamato wasn’t imagining things, he’d think he heard a sob.

When the twitching stopped and their breaths quieted enough for them to speak again, Kakashi wrapped his arms around Yamato’s back. He didn’t say anything, but the way he held Yamato was...different. Yamato swallowed against Kakashi’s collarbone and shifted into a better position, wishing it wouldn’t disrupt this quiet moment. He didn’t want Kakashi to let go. When minutes passed and he _didn’t,_ Yamato finally relaxed into the silent embrace and allowed his eyelids to grow heavy until everything went black.

* * *

When Yamato awoke, he was alone in his bed.

He rubbed his tired face as he kicked the sheets off his legs, trying not to think about the sticky spots or the bareness of his floor. His clothes were neatly folded by his bedside and Kakashi’s uniform was gone. As Yamato dragged his feet to his new kitchen, he grumbled about this routine, about the fact that it always ended up this way. As he drew the kettle toward his sink, he glanced at the clock and dropped the kettle with a resounding crash. It was nearly noon - on the day Kakashi was due to become hokage. By this time, it could’ve already happened. Yamato groaned and scrubbed a hand through his hair as he recalled the fuzzy memory of Kakashi jostling him, saying something. He’d _tried_ to wake him before leaving. And Yamato had missed his chance to wish Kakashi luck and assure him it would be alright. 

With a shake of his head, Yamato collected his kettle from the sink and started filling it again. Then there was a knock at the door. With a raise of his brows, Yamato moved toward the door, knowing whoever was behind it had to be a ninja to approach so quietly. What anyone uninvolved with the reconstruction efforts could want with him right now was beyond him, though. 

When he opened the door, he was surprised to find Sai.

Yamato blinked. “Sai?”

“Captain Yamato,” Sai said, peering past him into the apartment. “So this is the right place. So many new apartments here. I wasn’t sure I’d find the right one.”

Yamato furrowed his brows. “Something you need, Sai?”

“I’ve come to make sure you’ve heard the good news.”

Yamato sighed and glanced back at his bed, wishing he didn’t have to hear this news. “Yes, I know. Kakashi is the new hokage, right?”

“No.”

Yamato snapped his gaze back to Sai’s unreadable expression. “What? But by now–”

“Lady Tsunade has awakened and is recovering,” Sai said with a tight smile. “She has been reinstated as the fifth hokage.”

Yamato’s jaw dropped. “Th-that means…”

“Well, I have to go tell Ugly and Limp Dick now,” Sai said with a laugh.

“Uh, Sai,” Yamato said, raising his hand to beckon back the teammate who was already leaving. “I wouldn’t call them that anymore. They’re your teammates.”

Sai frowned. “Teammates can’t have nicknames?”

“Uh…” Yamato scratched his head and decided the jumbled thoughts running amok in there took precedence over explaining things to Sai. “No. No nicknames, okay?”

Sai pursed his lips, and though he looked displeased with Yamato’s answer, he finally turned away. Yamato closed his door and pressed his back against it, thanking whatever rare luck had been on his and Kakashi’s side. Yamato didn’t doubt Kakashi’s abilities to be hokage, but he would have missed spending nights like last night. He would miss spontaneous moments not under the watchful eyes of ANBU guards. He didn’t have much of Kakashi’s time now, but of the time he did have, he wasn’t ready to share with the rest of the village.

He was ready to be Kakashi’s, and after last night, he was pretty sure Kakashi was ready to be his.


	16. A Secret Mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to adolescentlycan for another very helpful, insightful, and enjoyable beta read. Hopefully the rest of you have as much fun with this one as we did...because dark times are coming after this.

Being spared the role of hokage didn’t bar Kakashi from major responsibility. Kakashi Hatake was far too powerful a force in the Hidden Leaf village to remain an untapped resource. While Kakashi was placed in charge of a division of the Shinobi Allied Forces, Yamato was given a separate, smaller, but equally important mission from Lady Tsunade. He, along with Guy Might and Aoba Yamashiro, would escort Naruto to the Hidden Cloud village under the guise of an S-rank mission especially for him. The mission was hardly S-rank, though - nor was it Naruto’s. 

Tsunade’s clever ruse allowed for the stubborn jinchuriki to go into hiding with them willingly. She intended for Naruto to train at his destination to learn to control the nine tails power within him.  _ That _ was why no one but Yamato could accompany him for this mission. If anything got out of hand with the nine tails, Yamato would be there to put an end to it.

* * *

Upon Naruto’s arrival to meet with the team standing with hands in pockets outside the village gates, Yamato smiled. “Okay, lets–”

A blanket of green rushed across his field of vision, throwing him back with unexpected force. Guy stood in the space that  _ used _ to exist between Yamato and Naruto, throwing an arm over Naruto’s shoulder.

He pointed into the distance. “Now, young man! Time to go!”

This mission was  _ just _ beginning, and already Yamato’s subordinates were running right over him - literally. He grumbled and balled his fists, biting his tongue before he might say something to start this mission off on the wrong foot. He wouldn’t have any problems with Aoba. Yamato had worked with him in the past when cooperating with the Intel Division and knew him to be just as practical and easygoing as himself. But Naruto - and especially Guy - could make this mission troublesome.

They bounded toward the sea, finding the shoreline after a long, wordless run. From the overlook of the cliff, Yamato felt the rush of a warm breeze. He smelled the salt air. The horizon was blue on blue, water that sparkled like diamonds in the sunlight and went on for miles. Less distant was the pier, where boats were docked and seamen traveled to and fro.

Naruto clutched his knees, his eyes alight with wonder. “Wow, look! It’s the sea!”

“Yahoo!” Guy cried, pressing his hands to his hips and breathing in deeply. “The sea is great!”

Yamato mirrored Guy’s stance as he took in the tranquil setting, enjoying this moment of peace in the midst of the turmoil that surrounded them.

“That is the Land of Fire’s only port,” Aoba said. “From there, we’ll depart for the Hidden Cloud village in the Land of Lightning.”

Naruto glanced sideways at Yamato. “Say...what’s this top-secret mission that Granny Tsunade mentioned?”

Yamato felt his smile grow softer as he looked at Naruto. It was amazing how this growing teen could hold the power of something as fearsome as the nine tails within him, have experience as a shinobi against foes as powerful as the Akatsuki under his belt, and still look at Yamato with such innocence in his eyes.

“It’s called a top-secret mission because it’s a secret, Naruto,” Yamato said, reluctant to lie to someone so hopeful, but firm in his determination to protect Naruto by any means necessary.

Naruto clutched his hands together. “Oh, come on! Don’t say that. You can tell me.”

Yamato closed his eyes so Naruto couldn’t read the lie in them and raised his chin in a bluff of stubbornness. “I’ll explain later.”

Aoba was probably the only one who realized Yamato hadn’t come up with a cover story to fool Naruto just yet, but Yamato was sure he had the other two fooled. He wasn’t worried. He could pull this mission off as long as Guy didn’t screw things up for him and Naruto continued to hold onto his shiny S-rank mission tight enough that he would fail to see through the many lies coming his way.

Yamato did have to come up with  _ some _ mission for Naruto, though, once they reached that island.

* * *

Yamato’s stomach had never been tossed and turned more than it was on that journey to the Hidden Cloud. 

On the third night, when the sea was most turbulent, their small, rickety ship rocked to and fro for hours on end. Naruto held his composure well, constantly grumping about the other shinobi’s weaker stomachs. Yamato could swear his internal organs didn’t even know up from down, so he turned to the method ninja knew well during such desperate times - drinking with his team.

Aoba held his liquor like a veteran shinobi, but Guy, who’d succumbed to motion sickness since the onset of their voyage, drank himself under the table. Aoba tsked his disapproval as he told Guy to get up and wipe himself off. The deck planks were caked with scum and reeked of fish, and Guy was practically  _ rolling _ in that filth. After Guy rose from beneath the table, latching onto Naruto’s bench seat like a green zombie rising from the grave, Naruto grimaced and stormed out of the room, claiming he would sleep alone above deck.

Yamato exchanged a heavy-eyed glance with Aoba across the table, feeling his head slightly roll in the process. His stomach hadn’t stopped churning.  _ He _ could join Guy’s chorus of dry heaves if he listened to it for much longer.

“Guy!” he snapped, scrubbing a hand down his face and refusing to look back at the glimpse of nauseated misery he caught on his teammate’s face. “R’you okay?”

“Why don’ you go to bed?” Aoba suggested.

“No! No!” Guy wailed, his misery a slow keen unbecoming of his ultra hyper personality. “We r’at  _ war, _ my friends. What are we doing wasting our fiery passion here? We shoul’ be fighting!”

He tried to spring up, but instead his sudden motion threw him horizontal against the bench seat Naruto had been occupying as the boat took another toss. Aoba tried to tackle him, but his balance was taken too, by ship and alcohol, and he only managed to fall on top of the  _ aggravating _ ninja whose loud mouth was about to blow this mission for them.

“Guy!” Yamato yelled, the sound of his own voice ringing in his head. He pounded his fist on the table for emphasis and instantly regretted it. “Keep-keep it down. Think!”

“I  _ am _ thinking,” Guy cried, tears streaming down his face as he crawled on his knees and tugged himself up by yanking on Yamato’s pant leg. “My beloved students are heading into their first war. My eternal rival saw so much after the last war. And I...I can’t-I can’t-”

“Be there for them,” Yamato finished, his brows furrowing as the sobering realization seemed to sink him like a leaded anchor.

“Hey guyyyys,” Aoba slurred over Guy’s blast of tears, supporting himself on one knee to look at them through his dark glasses, “we can’ think abou’ thissss now. It’s not...it’s not uh….we’re ninja, dammit!” He hiccuped. “This’s wha we do.”

“Right, you’re right,” Yamato said, shaking his head. “W’need…” he cleared his throat and narrowed his eyes. “We need to concentrate on Naruto, Guy. If  _ he’s _ taken, this whole war is lost. They’ll all be fighting for nothing.”

Guy slumped into a chair, looking weary and beaten - worse for wear than in the piqued, drunken state that seemed to have worn off. His bowl cut shimmered beneath the swaying ship’s lantern as he bowed his head and his shoulders shook.

“I understand,” Guy said before raising his head with a new spark of determination in his eyes. “I will not let young Naruto leave my sight for even a minute as long as this mission lasts! As long as the Green Beast of the Hidden Leaf is here, Madara Uchiha will  _ not _ win this war!”

Aoba massaged his forehead as he looked from Yamato to Guy. “Just keep it down. Okay?”

“Oh!” Guy pressed a rigid finger against his lips. “This secret mission is safe with me, my friends!”

He winked and bared his teeth in a smile, and if Yamato wasn’t imagining things, they sparkled. Maybe it was the catch of the light, still swaying and rolling across Guy at just the right time to reflect off his teeth. Yamato fluttered his eyes closed. He was tired. He still felt sick, and drunk, but above all else, he was tired.

Guy’s outburst brought to light something Yamato had been suppressing since the onset of this war. He hadn’t wanted to think about how his team would fare in battle, or how they would come out of it, but he’d seen the way war could change people. He knew it well from watching Cold Blooded Kakashi doing what he did best, witnessing the way his hackles rose whenever his childhood teammates were mentioned. Yamato couldn’t be there for any of them now. He couldn’t prevent anything that was about to happen to Sai, or Sakura...or Kakashi.

* * *

At the port of the Hidden Cloud, their team was greeted by a gaunt-faced ninja named Motoi. Motoi’s mission was to introduce them to the Hidden Cloud’s jinchuriki, Killer Bee, and protect both jinchuriki in cooperation with Yamato’s team. Motoi introduced Killer Bee as his lifelong friend, though Yamato couldn’t understand how  _ anyone _ could form a friendship with the odd, oversized ninja. Killer Bee only spoke in rhymes. This made him more obnoxious than Guy and Naruto combined (amazingly) and nearly impossible for Yamato to understand.

But fortunately, Killer Bee could communicate and cooperate in battle with the eight tails within him and was willing to teach Naruto to do the same with  _ his _ tailed beast. This was why Lady Tsunade had sent them, and if Naruto could accomplish this, harnessing the power of the tailed beasts for their side could be the key to the Allied Shinobi Forces winning this war.

Also fortunate was the fact that Killer Bee was just as oblivious to their state of hiding as Naruto and just as willing to buy the first sorry excuse for an S-rank mission their team created for Naruto. The island was populated by rare, oversized animals. Naruto believed he was here to make a count of the males and females of each species. It bought the time they needed while Naruto learned to face his inner demons and confront the nine tails with the support of Yamato, Killer Bee, and the sacred space of this moving island in case the nine tails should break free or overpower him.

While Naruto and Killer Bee began a new day of sorting through the massive animals of the island with another nonsensical argument about their classifications, something heavy settled in the atmosphere. Yamato turned, following the feeling to Motoi. The islander had an intense set to his jaw and an unnerving, dark look in his eyes.

“What’s the matter?” Yamato asked.

“Impossible!” Motoi cried, his face contorted to a grimace, his eyes set as if watching something far away. “They’ve found out about this place already? There’s no way!”

“Motoi…” Yamato felt his adrenaline surge.

The entire island seemed to roar. That was coming from the giant turtle. Enemies were here, and they were targeting Naruto’s and Bee’s floating sanctuary before going after the jinchuriki directly.

Naruto fell over, looking around wildly at the falling debris and startled animals. “What’s going on?”

The giant turtle Naruto  _ thought _ was an island trembled, quaked and tilted. The tilting didn’t let up. The turtle sloped to one side, gravity pulling until the ground seemed to slide out from under them.

And then they were falling at an incredible speed. Yamato hastened to make signs, using the first jutsu he could think of to cushion their fall from the rock ceiling now zooming toward them.

“Wood Style!” he called as Naruto, the other shinobi, and the animals screamed and roared at the rock surging toward them. “Deep Forest Emergence!”

Trunks sprouted from the rock at a rapid rate, blooming with branches and leaves that created a canopy for their fall. Hardly a soft landing when they hit the twisted branches, but it was better than the hard stone beneath it.

Yamato’s stomach dropped out from under him as the trees gave out again, the turtle rotating to toss them on soft grass, which rushed up to meet them and crashed against Yamato’s aching limbs, jostling his already sour stomach. While Naruto and Bee muttered about what had just happened, Yamato went to Guy, who’d passed out and looked badly injured. He lifted him, inspecting his injuries as he listened to a new rap-muddled conversation ensue.

For some reason, Naruto was inspecting the exposed privates of a fallen animal already. Yamato felt his blood pressure rise. They were under serious attack. They could lose not only Naruto and Killer Bee, but the tailed beasts within them and therefore the entire war. And Naruto was still going on about the stupid animals and their  _ gender assignments. _

Yamato snapped his head toward Naruto, practically spitting through his teeth. “This is no time to be doing an ecological survey!”

“Calm down, Yamato,” Aoba whispered in his ear. “Remember, this is an S-rank mission.”

Yamato grunted, cringing at the mistake he’d made in his haste. Hopefully, he hadn’t ruined the entire carefully set pretense they’d built here for Naruto.

“Something must have happened outside,” Motoi said, standing over them and looking at that same distant spot. “But we have to keep fooling him. We cannot allow those two to leave this place. We have to deal with it ourselves.”

Yamato nodded. They all understood what had to be done. As he lowered Guy to the ground, letting him settle and recover so Yamato could leave, the ground trembled violently again.

“Dammit,” he hissed, looking over his shoulder to the sound of boulders crashing around them. “What is going on out there?”

Then he saw the strained smiles on Aoba and Motoi’s faces - directed right into the vicinity of where Bee and Naruto stood. With a grunt, Yamato turned to see the jinchurikis’ curious gazes on him. As Naruto met his eyes, Yamato’s jaw dropped.

He forced a smile as he spoke, his voice coming out a little too tight. “Th-there’ve been a lot of tremors today…”

“Y-you’re right,” Aoba said.

Naruto stepped forward, furrowing his brows and raising his fist. “This is too strange. Can the world turn upside down?”

“Well,” Yamato said as he stood, seizing the opportunity he saw in Naruto’s confusion, “it seems to be possible on this island. Although it’s an extremely rare event.”

As he laughed about his ridiculous line of bullshit, placing his hands on his hips and watching Aoba and Motoi laugh with him, Yamato cringed internally. It would be a miracle if Naruto didn’t catch on at this rate. Yamato was about to fail this mission.

“Oh...really?” Naruto said slowly before raising his gaze skyward. “I think I’m going to take a look outside!”

“No!” Yamato shouted, raising his finger to emphasize his point. “You’re on an important S-rank mission, so stay focused!”

Naruto frowned and grumbled. “Yeah well...I’m just going to take a quick look outside.”

Yamato got in Naruto’s face. “It is a ninja’s duty to see through his mission until completion! And this is a mission only you can accomplish! That’s why you were selected. Do you understand, Naruto?”

He could see Naruto wavering, his brows furrowing and his blue eyes wide while absorbing the intensity of Yamato’s insistence. Naruto  _ had _ to stand down. This had to work! Yamato didn’t wait for an answer. He couldn’t give Naruto a chance to rediscover his earlier determination.

“We will see what’s going on outside,” he said, pressing his thumb to his chest. “That’s about the only way we can contribute here. However, let me repeat. You are on a crucial S-rank mission.”

“Okay, I understand,” Naruto said, clenching his fist and redirecting his vigor back to his pseudo-mission. “I’m going to focus on my mission!”

Yamato should’ve been satisfied. He got the outcome he wanted. But he couldn’t believe how  _ gullible _ his student was. A part of him wanted Naruto to see through this ruse, to not be able to believe checking animals for privates could  _ ever _ constitute an S-rank mission. It was moments like these he really missed working with Kakashi. 

But as Naruto turned back to his work with Killer Bee and the animals, Yamato looked at his other teammates with a sigh. Motoi and Aoba gave Yamato nods and set off, springing for the outside where they would find the intruder causing all of this commotion.

They landed on the curve of the turtle’s undershell to find a Hidden Rock ninja levitating and forming seals. Below her, a hooded figure stood. In the air, the granddaughter of the tsuchikage blasted white liquid substance from her mouth that exploded at the figure’s feet as he dashed away. He turned to them the moment they landed. Yamato thought it could be  _ him. _ The man causing this commotion could be none other than Madara himself, here to finally claim the tailed beasts within Naruto and Killer Bee.

“Is that him?” Yamato said to his comrades.

“There should be five people here,” Motoi said, referring to the team of Hidden Rock ninja set to guard this sanctuary.

“Don’t come crawling out!” the tsuchikage’s granddaughter yelled down to them. “Didn’t we say that we’d take care of this?”

Aoba peered at her and grunted. “You’re the tsuchikage’s granddaughter.”

Kurotsuchi -  _ that _ was her name. She was a Hidden Rock ninja known throughout the ninja world. At one point, she’d been an enemy of the Hidden Leaf’s ANBU.

“Perfect timing,” called the hooded figure as he turned toward them. “You can take me to Naruto.”

That voice was definitely not Madara’s. When Yamato’s eyes lit on a pale tail poking out from beneath the robes and he heard a hiss, a new sense of alarm coursed through him. 

“A snake…” he said, “and that voice. Don’t tell me you’re…”

The figure dropped his hood, exposing pale, scaly skin beneath silver strands and eyes framed by wide lenses. “We meet again, Yamato.”

“I’ll sweep him your way,” Kurotsuchi called as she formed seals. “So get him! Water style! Water Trumpet!”

She reared back and spat more of that cloudy white liquid at Kabuto. 

“Nice!” Aoba called, smiling until Kabuto leapt back fast enough to avoid getting caught in the blast. “No good. He had it figured out.”

Yamato stared at the spread of the thick, grayish-white liquid. Kabuto’s landing point was right in the middle of it. He may have been fast enough to avoid the blast, but now he was trapped. That wasn’t any ordinary jutsu. It was a specialty only a shinobi of the tsuchikage’s family line could master. Yamato had heard of it, but he’d never seen it with his own eyes. As he watched it hardening before his eyes, the sheen of glossy liquid matting to a dull, dry material, he gasped.

“This is…”

Kurotsuchi smirked down at Kabuto, pointing her finger. “Idiot! Now you can’t move!”

Yamato caught sight of Motoi’s foot too close to the cementing liquid and shoved him back. “Motoi! Aoba! Don’t step into that water.”

Kurotsuchi spat the same hardening liquid substance directly onto Kabuto, splattering him with several blasts that cemented him into place.

“That’s for extra insurance!” she said.

“All right!” Aoba cried, clenching his fist. “You’re ours! I’ll extract intel out of you.”

Yamato blinked and stepped back before forming signs, letting wood sprout from his palm and extend horizontally across the hardening substance. “Aoba. Here.”

He’d constructed a sturdy bridge, complete with supports, for his friend to walk across. Yamato hoped for Aoba to be careful. He was not only endangering himself around that cement, he was willingly putting himself in physical contact with  _ Kabuto, _ the ninja who’d intentionally altered himself with Orochimaru’s cells. There was no telling what surprises this enemy was capable of.

Aoba knelt down on the wood beam the moment he was face to face with Kabuto. “Kabuto, how far you’ve fallen. You’ve become just like Orochimaru.”

“Never mind me,” Kabuto said, and Yamato didn’t like the smug look in his eyes given his current predicament. “Just make sure you don’t fall off.”

“Aoba!” Yamato called the moment he caught a glimpse of hesitation on Aoba’s face. “Concentrate!”

“Yeah, I know,” Aoba said, looking more relaxed. “I’m okay.” He turned to Kabuto. “You know that I’m in the Intel Division, don’t you? I’m going to take a look and see everything that’s happened to you.”

At the moment Aoba reached for Kabuto’s head, it transformed. Splitting. Cracking. Mouth arched wide open. When a second head sprouted from within the abyss of that mouth, the change caused Aoba to cry out and lose his balance in his attempt to dodge the oversized humanoid snake that sprung at him.

Yamato felt helpless to save Aoba with his hand still affixed to the wood beam supporting him and their distance so great. Kabuto was  _ fast. _

“He’s molted?” Yamato cried as Aoba landed in Kurotsuchi’s cement. “He’s gone that far?”

And then Kabuto went  _ farther. _ He slithered along Yamato’s wood beams, straight for him and Motoi. With his hand busy and his back to Motoi, Yamato could only sprout wood from his spine in place of the limb he needed to push Motoi to safety.

“Motoi, get away!” he yelled as he released his palm from the wood structure.

He snapped his gaze from Motoi’s fall just in time to catch sight of his enemy’s mouth bearing down on him - a wide gaping chasm of black humidity. 

Yamato cried out as he was swallowed, heard his teammates' dampened voices call for him, and felt the rush of motion that told him wherever he was inside this thing, he was moving at high speed. He summoned his chakra, but the moment roots began to bud from his palm, a sharp pain pricked his skin. His chakra pulled away from him. Something vine-like wrapped around his wrists and they were tugged on, bound together. Then his ankles. He couldn’t move within the confines of this damp body. He was trapped, his chakra was suppressed, and wherever he was going, he knew he didn’t want to be there.

* * *

When Yamato was finally ejected from his dark prison, the scaly bindings around his wrists and ankles were still cutting into his flesh. During his fall, Yamato cracked his eyes open to find himself in a dark cave decorated only with the shadows cast by its many stalactites and stalagmites. He could see it now - the source of his chakra drain. A spear-headed snake, pumping venom through his skin.

He was a prisoner of war, due to be interrogated by the one ninja most renowned throughout the shinobi world for his visual prowess. Yamato grunted and clenched his eyes shut as he hit the rock slab of the cave floor. His happuri skidded against the stone, screeching in his ear and jostling his head which was already foggy from Kabuto’s snake’s venom. 

Footsteps approached. Yamato knew better than to - he didn’t  _ want _ to - open his eyes.

“This present you brought is very different from what I expected.”

That was Madara’s voice. Yamato cracked an eye open to glare up from Madara’s sandaled feet to see the mask of the man talking over him.

“You’re right.”  _ Kabuto. Behind him.  _ “But he is the nine tails’ guardian and he also possesses highly classified intel. Furthermore, I can use him to make Zetsu and the others much stronger. Instead of pushing my luck, I decided to settle by just capturing him. This works out better for you guys.”

“Then hurry up and do it.”

“Before that, extracting intel from Yamato takes priority. Please don’t kill him if you want Zetsu and the others to get stronger.”

Yamato grimaced at the painful burn coursing through his body. His head was in a fog. The slightest roll of his eyes seemed to incite dizziness. These were signs of poisoning he knew well. This toxin could definitely be deadly. But from the vague information Kabuto just gave him, his enemies didn’t plan to kill him. He was much more useful to them - and therefore more  _ damning _ to his side - alive.

“I could use the jutsu of the Ningendo’s rinnegan and easily extract the intel.”

“But that would kill him.”

“So it’s better to keep him alive to make Zetsu stronger?”

“Yes.” 

Quiet filled the cavern, but Yamato knew his captors were still present - their conversation had just reached a lull - or worse - they were communicating silently to keep him even more in the dark than he already was. 

“It’s a drug I made to curtail Hashirama’s power,” Kabuto said. “Don’t worry, I won’t use it on the Zetsu. We don’t need the power of the rinnegan. With my truth serum and your sharingan, we can glean all the intel we want. If we learn who the enemy is, we can strike them by sending out their worst enemy. There’s no need to waste chakra.”

No, they had plenty of  _ his _ chakra now. Yamato had no idea how Kabuto found them or that Kabuto was targeting  _ him _ when he’d come to the turtle island, but it was clear to him now that taking  _ him _ prisoner rather than going after Naruto or Killer Bee was Kabuto’s plan from the beginning. There were many ways these two could use Yamato for their side in this war, as Kabuto just outlined to Madara. Yamato didn’t intend to let that happen. As ANBU, they were trained for situations like this. Where escape wasn’t possible, it was better to sacrifice oneself than to aid the downfall of their side.

Yamato budged, felt a wave of nausea and a drain of the chakra he’d been trying to rebuild while listening in on his captors’ conversation, and groaned into the hard floor pressed against his cheek. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even execute his own decisions like this. At this rate…

Motoi, Kurotsuchi and Aoba had doubtlessly relayed his capture to the Allied Shinobi Forces leadership by now. His side would know he’d weakened them before the battle even began. Yamato hoped at least Naruto could remain oblivious to this and not have to acknowledge how Yamato had failed him as a guardian. 

But the rest of his team would hear of this.  _ Kakashi _ would hear of this, presume him dead knowing their protocol...and have to go into battle without Yamato ever being able to tell him all the things he needed to say. He hoped Kakashi would live through it - and if he did, that he could forgive Yamato.

Yamato would ask everyone for forgiveness if he could, but the only understanding embrace he would receive right now was the writhing bindings of the snakes filling his veins with poison, and the only ears to hear his apology would be those of his cruel enemies and the cold hard walls entrapping him.

As Yamato continued to struggle, to try to find clarity and any possible strategy to turn this situation in his favor, his clarity hazed. Consciousness gradually slipped away from him. 

The venom’s burn grew stronger and stronger until his next attempt to open his eyes and the muddled sounds of Kabuto speaking were the last things he remembered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to make a note here that throughout the War Arc battles following this, Kakashi is more volatile and outwardly angry with his enemies than we ever see him. He even admits to this aloud to Sai. We never see him learn of what happened to Yamato, but we know he has to already know by the time he’s shown on the battlefront.
> 
> Food for your Kakayama thoughts


	17. Always and Never

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again a big thanks to Lycan for beta reading this one ❤️ This portion of the story was a tricky narrative to navigate and might’ve been a confusing read without her help. Of course, your confusion level might depend on how much you remember from canon, but I promise I did my best to navigate this from Yamato’s very limited perspective 
> 
> ALSO there is a plothole in which Hiruzen calls Yamato “Yamato” during the war although he wasn’t given that name until after his death. It irks me, so you’ll see I’ve corrected it to “Tenzo” here.

There was a green, eerie light. Everything around Kinoe seemed to distort as his eyes drifted across a cluster of floating bubbles. A feeling of dread, of being unable to breathe, seized him before the shrill shatter of glass awoke him.

Kinoe shot up, panting, and was confused to find himself in bed with the sound of a deep hum reverberating next to him. He came to his senses just in time to not slap away the hand that began rubbing circles on his hip. _That_ was it...he wasn’t Kinoe anymore. He hadn’t used that name for a long time. He was…

“Tenzo, you weren’t having that Kabuto snake dream again, were you?”

“Huh?” Tenzo asked. He sucked in a breath as Kakashi’s fingers curled into his hip, feeling like security.

Kakashi nuzzled him, a maskless face grating Tenzo’s cheek with fine stubble. “He took _me_ , remember? And you saved me. You killed him with the help of the rest of the team. There’s nothing to worry about.”

The team. Tenzo exhaled - no - _Yamato_ exhaled. That was right, he was Captain Yamato, recently promoted as the official captain of the team. Kakashi misunderstood which dream had awakened him, but he knew Yamato better than Yamato seemed to have a grip on himself. Yamato didn’t know why this irrational fear should plague his mind. He was exactly where he needed to be.

Kakashi pressed a soft kiss against Yamato’s jaw. “Did I ever thank you for rescuing me, by the way?”

Yamato laughed. “Many times, actually.”

“Can I do it again?”

Yamato shivered as Kakashi’s hand wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer before Kakashi dipped his head beneath the sheets, not waiting for Yamato’s permission. Almost every day started this way - in bed with Kakashi - and Yamato wasn’t complaining.

* * *

Every time his team looked at him like this, ready for action and radiating respect, Yamato swelled with pride. He almost felt guilty for taking this team out of Kakashi’s hands until he recalled Kakashi telling him time and time again that he preferred the solo missions he took now.

Sakura beamed at Yamato. Sai gave him a nod and waited with his hands perched on his hips. Naruto called him captain and stood with the same vigor for this inconsequential mission as he’d employ toward everything else abundantly more important, like saving the world. Like controlling the nine tails.

Yamato’s mind skipped. His pinched brows caused the team to tilt their heads at him as he tried to place the feeling of crucial information slipping from memory. 

“What is it, Captain Yamato?” Sai asked.

“If you’re worried about the mission,” Naruto said, “it’s no problem! We’ll take these guys out, believe it!”

“With _our_ teamwork,” Sakura said, smiling brilliantly and clasping her hands behind her back, “there’s nothing we can’t handle. Right, Captain Yamato?”

“And if we run into any problems,” Naruto said, balling his fists, “now that Sasuke’s back, he’ll be there to cover us, too!”

Yamato grinned. He’d never seen his team so happy. _His team._ He’d never known family, but if he had to guess, he would think it felt like this. 

“Okay, Team Yamato,” he said, beaming as he hitched a thumb over his shoulder. “Let’s move out!”

* * *

Every time they returned under the shroud of night, the village felt like a safer place than before. Even when a ninja slipped behind him, dropping silently from a rooftop overhead, Yamato had no concerns about the rush of air at his back. He let his team walk ahead of him to Ichiraku to celebrate _yet again_ Sasuke’s return to the village. He turned, smiling when he found his shadow.

“Kakashi,” he huffed as a familiar painted mask stared blankly back at him. “Heading out on ANBU missions again?”

Kakashi tilted his head. “Just coming back from one. Maybe you’ll join me next time...that is, if your team can spare you for a few days.”

“Oh, no...that’s-” Yamato rubbed his head, feeling his flustered embarrassment creep onto his face under Kakashi’s hidden gaze. “You don’t need _me,_ Kakashi-Senpai. I’m sure you can manage–or...the team will be more than willing to spare–”

“No, what am I thinking?” Kakashi said softly, his eyes fixed on Yamato’s face. “They need you, Tenzo. We all do.”

“You just don’t like to share?” Yamato prompted wryly.

“No, I don’t.” Kakashi cast a glance over his sculpted shoulder before looking back at Yamato and crossing his arms. “Well, I suppose there’s nothing else for it. If you aren’t coming...Lord Third could use your insight at least.”

Yamato blinked. “Lord Third? But...Lady Tsunade–”

“He wants to talk to you, Tenzo,” Kakashi said before sidestepping and glancing again behind himself, where a smaller figure stepped forward. “Lord Third.”

As Kakashi dropped to one knee, Yamato took in the clear picture of the Third Hokage’s face. He’d never seen the wrinkled skin look so bloodless and devoid of color. Even in the dark, Yamato could tell Hiruzen’s eyes lacked any of their previous spark. They were doused in absolute darkness. Even as the third hokage narrowed his eyes and made himself taller, Yamato felt no life emanating from within this moving corpse opening its mouth to speak.

“Tenzo!”

Yamato awoke from the third hokage’s voice to register his name belatedly in _Kakashi’s_ voice, and then realized he was laying in bed in the dawning light. He rubbed his head, dizzy with confusion. How could he keep having such horrible nightmares when everything was perfect? Even stranger was the fact that the nightmare zombie third hokage seemed _so real._ It felt _less_ like he was a hallucination brought on by a dream, more like he was a vivid memory.

Kakashi laughed, husky and soothing in his ear. “Bad dreams _again?_ We can’t have that.”

“Kakashi,” Yamato said, orbiting toward Kakashi’s voice.

Kakashi’s face was fully exposed beneath his fringe of silver hair, and the expression he wore was open and honest - _loving._ Yamato felt his heart race at receiving such unrestrained emotion from the man he loved. 

Because he _did_ love Kakashi. 

He’d loved him for a long time, but every skilled ninja knew better than to wear his heart on his sleeve when dealing with a dangerous opponent. Yamato kept his heart protected. But now Kakashi looked at him with this softness, peeling back his armor, coaxing his heart out into the open so Kakashi could see it. Yamato _would_ fight it, except...Kakashi’s heart was also on display as Yamato had wished to see it. It was evident in the way his sharp smile shone in the dim yellowing light just for Yamato, and in the way his dark eyes softened. Yamato _felt_ it in the joining of their hands beneath the cool sheets. He felt it in the silence of the room, where he could hear their two hearts beating in harmony.

Kakashi skimmed his eyes down Yamato’s face, landing on his lips. “You know you’re exactly where you belong, right?”

“I–”

“I need you, Yamato.” Kakashi curled into him, pressing their bodies flush together everywhere except the places where the sheets dipped between the grooves and planes of their bodies. Then he kissed him, deep and needy, and full of feeling. “You’re all I want.”

Yamato had never felt so filled by Kakashi as he did that morning. It wasn’t just his body. Now, Kakashi filled his heart.

* * *

Team Yamato found the target of their next mission in the form of a masked man who seemed inhuman. They found the ninja in a cave. He used wood style, like Yamato, his entire body seemingly made of a white vortex - swirls of wood twisting and binding around hidden skin and one uncovered eye no one could see.

When Yamato’s wood style seemed useless against the enemy, too evenly matched, Sai was able to subdue the ninja with a tiger from his Super Beast Scroll. Naruto’s shadow clones fanned out, picking off one by one the hundreds of ninja surrounding the hideout who appeared to be weaker copies of this faceless, nameless enemy.

While Yamato questioned the enemy with more earnestness than he’d anticipated experiencing for a mission like this one, Sakura stood at the ready to assist her teammates if they were hurt or to use her fists if this wood user escaped Sai’s capture.

When it was over, the team headed home congratulating each other on a job well done. It felt so right. And yet...it felt more wrong to Yamato the nearer they drew to the village. He couldn’t help thinking that white ninja still posed danger to the Hidden Leaf, although Sai had him sealed away and all of his plans were out in the open. His team laughed off Yamato’s concerns, assuring him everything was as it should be. Naruto’s bold claim that their team was the Hidden Leaf’s _best_ couldn’t even assuage Yamato’s trepidation. Everything was very right. It was _too_ right.

Something was wrong.

Yamato went to bed alone that night, determined to find out what that something was.

* * *

The next morning brought crisp morning air blowing in through his apartment window, which made Yamato pull himself from the depths of sleep with a deep breath. He’d left the window closed during the night. He could remember _that_ much while other memories were slowly rolling back in as he took in the sight of a familiar silhouette in his window frame.

“Yo,” Kakashi said as he made himself at home, slipping onto the mattress. “Good morning. How is the love of my life?”

“H– _what?”_

Kakashi raised his hand, procuring his favorite book in front of his face as he went on talking as if he hadn’t said a word out of the ordinary. “Did you sleep well, Tenzo?”

“Did _you?”_

Yamato scrambled to his knees to get in Kakashi’s line of sight and show him his look of concern. This wasn’t like Kakashi. There was no definition for Kakashi’s _baseline_ behavior as he never seemed to have one, but this level of unpredictability was unheard of. Kakashi Hatake didn’t use pet names out of the blue. He didn’t make confessions of love. He didn’t ask inane questions like querying about the quality of Yamato’s sleep he could easily deduce from behavior and appearance.

“I slept fine.” Kakashi shrugged. “Now. Yamato.”

As Kakashi snapped his book shut to meet Yamato’s eyes with his half-hidden gaze, Yamato groaned. This sounded like a turn to business. Kakashi wasn’t going to explain his behavior. Now, _this_ felt more like the Kakashi he knew.

“Lady Tsunade needs Team Yamato to back me up for an S-rank mission in the Hidden Cloud. We leave this afternoon.”

“Wait, wait,” Yamato said as he slid his feet forward to cross his legs. “You want us to come with you? All of us?”

Kakashi’s eye creased. “We belong together.”

He said it like it was so simple. It _could_ be now. There was no reason things should be complicated, not with Sasuke back, not with Kakashi preferring his role of stepping back while Yamato headed the team. Kakashi had even said, in a roundabout way, that he _loved_ Yamato. This was everything Yamato ever wanted.

Yamato furrowed his brows as the question of want, need, and fulfillment reminded him that there had been something he needed to do today. He scratched his head and smiled at Kakashi as he dismissed the thought, enjoying how natural it felt to be together like this. Kakashi was right. They belonged together. Yamato could think of nothing that was wrong. Whatever had troubled his mind yesterday, it was of no consequence today.

He wrapped his arms around Kakashi and rose to his feet before releasing the comfortable embrace. “You’re right. I’ll tell the team to pack their things.”

* * *

The mission in the Hidden Cloud started off well - until a hooded ninja took them by surprise, knocking Kakashi down. When the hood fell back to reveal familiar swirls of white whirlpooling into one black eye socket, Yamato felt a flood of dread. This was the enemy that had left him with bad feelings and made him question the seemingly perfect life he’d been living.

At the same time Yamato felt this dread, his entire team began cheering him on. They begged for him to save Kakashi from that ninja. No one was stepping forward to do it themselves. It would be wonderful to be Kakashi’s savior again, but it didn’t seem real. _That_ was the problem. None of it seemed real.

Kakashi’s cry of pain at the white ninja’s bindings wrapping around him finally forced Yamato out of his trance. Regardless of how unreal this felt, he couldn’t risk standing by and allowing Kakashi to be hurt if this _was_ real.

He called on his chakra, thrusting the wood forward to slam into the torso of the ninja. It was enough to knock the ninja off of Kakashi, but not enough to take him down. The ninja sprung at Yamato, knocking him back.

As Yamato shook off the pain of his collision with the ground, he looked up at the clouded sky and saw a seam tear through it. He didn’t acknowledge the sounds of the other ninja growling and running toward him with heavy footsteps. He was too entranced by the sight of clouds tearing away from one another, a black void appearing behind the growing rip. Yamato’s lungs expanded and contracted rapidly as he knitted his brows toward the disassembling heavens. The feeling of dread surged to the surface again. His team gravitated toward him, as if caught in his awe. 

And then the seam _ripped._

It wasn’t just a visual phenomenon of the sky falling away to be replaced by a darker, ashier sky. It was all sense of existence ripping away, too. Whatever sense of self Yamato had been holding onto sloughed off like a layer of dead skin. His regenerative new skin was _awareness._ It came to him in a flash of blinding light. It was the here and now, where he really was. 

White bindings unraveled from around Yamato’s limbs to fully reveal the battlefield landscape to him. The third hokage calling to him - that _hadn’t_ been a dream. Yamato remembered the reanimated third hokage standing before him in this spot. Sakura, Sai, Naruto and Kakashi were nowhere in sight, but the ninja he’d been fighting stared vacantly back at him in the third hokage’s place. It was White Zetsu. White Zetsu, who’d manipulated Yamato’s chakra in some way - he could _feel_ it. Yamato had suffered at his hands as well as Kabuto’s, and he didn’t plan to let that happen again. He wanted to fight and defend himself. When he found his body unwilling to move, Yamato opened his mouth, prepared to scream.

Then White Zetsu’s limbs spiraled away, the white cracking open to reveal it was nothing more than an empty shell. He fell away to nothing.

Yamato breathed a sigh of relief. Apparently, the past few days had been nothing but a hallucination - the Infinite Tsukuyomi Madara Uchiha had dreamed of. But now, the jutsu was broken. Yamato was safe, and it was over. As he looked across the battlefield, he saw others coming out of it, too. Hundreds of his fellow shinobi looked at one another with confusion in their eyes. Sounds of gasps echoed through the battlefield. Yamato fell to his knees. A nearby shinobi came running to his side as Yamato tried not to collapse face first in the dirt. Hana Inuzuka looked down on him, gritting sharp teeth.

“It’s you!” she said as she looked him over. “The wood user!”

Yamato groaned as he fell only to be caught by the quick reflexes of Hana’s outstretched arms. “I guess you already know I’ve been under a lot of genjutsu lately,” he said as he looked up at her knitted brows. “Mind telling me what happened?”

* * *

Yamato didn’t feel the extent of his chakra drain until returning to the Hidden Leaf. He’d been carried, along with many other wounded Leaf shinobi, to the Hidden Leaf’s hospital. He’d never seen such complete cooperation among the Hidden Villages. If Yamato wanted to grasp anything positive that came about from this war, that was one. Sasuke’s return to the village being a thing of reality and not just Yamato’s dream was another, though Yamato hadn’t imagined Sasuke’s return including cell bars. He hadn’t seen Sasuke for himself. He hadn’t seen any of his team before his long, well-deserved sleep in the sanctuary of the hospital.

But now he was awake, opening his eyes to Shizune leaning across him and inspecting his IV. She grunted when she glanced down and spotted him. Yamato tried to give her a smile, but he was sure he’d done a horrible job of it, given Shizune’s pitying expression as she pulled away.

“Yamato,” she said, “how are you feeling?”

“I’m all right,” Yamato lied, rediscovering that skill by the second. “Better here than where I was before.”

He tried to laugh, but the sight of Shizune’s watering eyes put a stop to it before it started. 

“I’m _so_ sorry,” Shizune said. “You were - everything must be so confusing…”

Yamato waved her off, biting back the groan that threatened to emerge as pain shot down his arm. “You gave me your sympathies already. You don’t need to keep repeating them. I knew the risks when I started my mission, Shizune. It’s part of the job.”

Shizune sighed heavily. “Maybe it won’t have to be - not anymore. Not if Naruto really changes things like it seems he will.”

“He really knows how to leave an impression on people, doesn’t he?” Yamato said.

He shifted, clenching his teeth as pain spiked through his back. He felt stiffer than ever before. There was no telling how long Kabuto had kept him immobilized. It would take awhile for him to return to top form again. As Shizune dashed to his side, fluffing a pillow to support his back, Yamato remembered Naruto befriending Killer Bee. He remembered him willingly facing the nine tails. He remembered _his_ original impression of Naruto compared to the way he felt about him now. Naruto was so much more than the hero who saved the world from Madara’s Infinite Tsukuyomi. He was a force that could bind people of the most disparate ideals. He could bring anyone together, and Yamato believed that. Naruto’s wish would come true now. And he _would_ be a great hokage someday.

Shizune hummed her agreement before giving the pillow at Yamato’s back a final adjustment. She smelled like antiseptic and bleach. Yamato could tell she’d been working nonstop by the dark circles beneath her eyes. For the medics, the war was far from over. They had many battles ahead of them. And Shizune didn’t need to waste her time with Yamato. All he needed now was time to recover his chakra with rest, time for Kabuto’s poison to dilute from his system.

Besides, he could use some time alone.

“Thank you, Shizune.”

“I hope that’s comfortable,” she said, tilting her head. “I can bring you more pillows, but I’m afraid there’s not much more I can do for the residual effects of the pois–”

Yamato touched her arm and gave her a smile. “Not just for the pillow.”

Shizune held his gaze, her dark eyes wavering before tears seeped from the corners. She touched Yamato’s hand on her arm and exhaled, giving him a nod.

“I’m happy you made it back,” she whispered, her voice strained.

Yamato smiled, but he felt Shizune’s sadness mirror in his eyes. He nudged her away with a firm nod toward the door, begging her with his eyes to not linger. She left, and Yamato watched the hospital door close, thinking of a dark cave and a similar lonely confinement. At least this one he’d chosen for himself.

Kakashi hadn’t been to see him, and from what he’d heard from the medic nins and shinobi on the battlefield, Yamato was sure he was overwhelmed with responsibility, not necessarily _choosing_ not to see Yamato. Kakashi was set to be the new hokage. Lady Tsunade deemed it herself and wouldn’t give him the chance to back down a second time. There were things to manage with determining Sasuke’s future, and the diplomatic aftermath of the war between villages, and of _course_ Kakashi would be busy.

Besides, Yamato didn’t know if he was ready to face Kakashi yet. 

He’d failed to protect Kakashi’s student when he needed him most. He’d almost been the cause of the Allied Shinobi Forces’ loss of the war. And then he’d put Kakashi in the painful position of heading into battle while thinking the man he loved was dead. That was, if Kakashi even loved him. Maybe that was only true in Yamato’s dream world. Yamato curled into his hospital bed and closed his eyes, not yet ready to endure that possibility. 

He could handle a lot of pain, but after the glimpse of hope he’d seen, he didn’t think he could take another heartbreak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to express my deepest appreciation for health care professionals like Shizune, who do so much more for their patients than simply attending to their physical health 🤍


	18. Things Have Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again, adolescentlycan for the beta read. We’re really leading into the conclusion of this story now. Thank you all who are still following along and I’m glad new people are still discovering this story

Yamato fluttered his eyes closed against the slats of sunlight shining in through his hospital window. Sakura sat at his bedside where she’d been for a full hour and was now talking about Sasuke and the good chance that Kakashi, once he became hokage, would have him pardoned. She shared her hopes with Yamato that he would settle in the village. Maybe they could finally be together.

Yamato worked very hard not to roll his eyes at that. If _he_ was having difficulty coping with his actions and decisions during the war, Sasuke Uchiha was in no state to settle down and fan the flames of romance. But Yamato knew how important he was to Sakura. He hoped, for her sake, they could work something out.

“Is something wrong, Captain Yamato?” Sakura shifted forward suddenly, pinching his wrist between lithe but strong fingers. “I thought your chakra was coming back, but you look like you’re in pa–”

“I’ll bet he _is_ in pain,” Ino Yamanaka called into the room, popping her head through the open doorway, “from listening to _you_ carrying on and on about Sasuke, Forehead. Hey, Captain Yamato.”

“Ino,” Yamato responded to her greeting before letting his head fall back and his eyes close while a brief argument ensued.

“And that’s another thing,” Sakura said, her irritated voice closer to his ear making Yamato realize she was back to addressing him and Ino was gone. “Sai is actually _going out_ with that pig now. Can you believe that? He calls _me_ ugly and–”

“Sai can date whoever he wants to, Sakura.” Yamato sighed, feeling his blood pressure rising. Sakura was supposed to be here to keep him company and make him feel better - or so she’d claimed.

“Yeah, well,” Sakura said, narrowing her green eyes at Yamato with more precision than he liked, “you ANBU type have strange taste is all I have to say.”

Yamato huffed a laugh. “What do _you_ know about–”

“N-nothing, nothing!” Sakura cried, suddenly nervous, her cheeks coloring to match the hair she gently tucked behind her ear. “Anyway, I know Sasuke will come around. Um...Naruto’s doing great. Lady Tsunade’s just about ready to reconstruct the arm he lost from the first hokage’s cells, did you hear?”

“Yeah, that’s great.” Yamato grinned at Sakura. “He’s in good hands.”

Sakura giggled. When his choice of words and the subject of their conversation dawned on him, Yamato laughed too. It might’ve been the first laugh he’d had in weeks. It felt good. He didn’t know exactly how long it had been since more tranquil times spent on the moving turtle island.

“Yo.”

As Sakura turned grinning eyes to the doorway, Yamato felt all the laughter in him choke up. He knew that voice, and that greeting, and just _hearing_ it made Yamato’s chest clench with guilt. Even after being here for _days_ without a visit from Kakashi, his guilt far outweighed his anger. The distance had only given him more reason to believe that Kakashi was upset with him for his failures during the war.

“Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura called, hopping to her feet. “It’s about _time_ you visited Captain Yamato.”

Yamato gulped as he heard Kakashi’s footsteps scuffing on the hospital floor, slow as usual. He could imagine that slouch, though he wasn’t ready to look that way. He wasn’t ready to see the disappointment in Kakashi’s uncovered eye. Or - both eyes. He’d heard the sharingan had been lost during the war. Maybe now the disappointment in them would look twice as damning.

“Well,” Kakashi drawled, his voice a smooth slice of a kunai through Yamato’s bristling spine as it moved closer, “better late than never, hm?”

“This is just like you,” Sakura scolded.

“So,” Yamato huffed, trying to make light conversation in front of Sakura when she must’ve noticed his resistance to looking Kakashi’s way, “not even bothering with excuses now?”

“I should go,” Sakura said with such soothing ease to her voice that it had to be faked given the circumstance. “I have a few more patients to check this afternoon. You’ll keep an eye on him, Kakashi-sensei?”

“Or two,” Kakashi said.

Yamato bit his lip, willing himself not to smile at the welcome familiarity of Kakashi's dry wit. When he heard the familiar creak of the same wooden chair all his visitors had used, and some even accused him of fashioning from the jutsu he wasn’t supposed to tap into until he was recovered, he almost glanced Kakashi’s way.

Sakura hummed amicably. “Okay. Bye, Captain Yamato.”

“Bye, Sakura,” Yamato said, turning his eyes to the most light-hearted smile he’d ever seen on the kunoichi since meeting her. “Say hi to Naruto and Sai for me.”

Sakura slipped out the doorway with a wave, skimming her eyes across Yamato and back to where Kakashi sat one last time before she disappeared around the corner. Then he was alone with Kakashi. Silence hung heavy in the air as Yamato gnawed his cheeks and cast his eyes toward the white sheets pooled around his waist.

“I see,” Kakashi finally said, breaking the silence with a despondent tone. “You can’t even look at me. I–”

“What? No!” Yamato shot his gaze toward Kakashi at those unexpected words, finally taking in the dark eyes, the mask, the silver hair and scar, every bit of his appearance backlit by the sunlit window exactly as he remembered it _except_ for the angle of the hitai-ate and lack of an intimidating red gaze. 

“-can’t blame you aft–”

“Why wouldn’t I…”

“-er I’ve taken so long to face y–”

“Kakashi, I _wanted_ to see–”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry...for everything. I–” Kakashi scrubbed a hand down his face as he choked back his words. 

Yamato held back his commentary about how much he’d wanted to see Kakashi, sensing Kakashi had something more urgent to say. Yamato wanted to apologize, too. He could see the way the war had eaten away at Kakashi. 

Hell, he’d heard about Obito. 

Kakashi’s childhood teammate whom he’d honored as a hero while Yamato watched Kakashi stand at that memorial for so many years...had never really been dead. Instead, _Obito Uchiha_ was the masked ninja calling himself Madara, the moving force behind this war. He’d been the cause of Yamato’s suffering with the help of Kabuto Yakushi. Now, Obito really was dead, and only after having a change of heart and _helping_ Team Kakashi set the world straight by getting them to the point where they could release the jutsu of the Infinite Tsukuyomi. Yamato couldn’t imagine the tumult of emotions Kakashi had to be experiencing in addition to facing the responsibility of soon becoming hokage. Yamato didn’t like knowing _he_ was the source of any added burden.

Eventually, Yamato had to fill the silence. “I’m sorry too.”

Kakashi choked, recoiling like he’d been struck. “You?” He panted. “F-for what?”

“By letting myself get captured, I failed to protect Naruto an–”

“That,” Kakashi said sharply, “was no one’s fault but Kabuto’s.”

“It was _my_ mission, Kakashi-Senpai,” Yamato hissed, “and I f–”

“Naruto is fine,” Kakashi insisted, overpowering him. “He accomplished what you brought him there to do and now he’s a _hero_ of this war. People from all over are storming the gates to see him!”

“Still…”

“And you,” Kakashi heaved a breath as his eyes watered and locked with Yamato’s. “After everything that happened...most people wouldn’t have survived it.”

Yamato shook his head. Platitudes. These kind words might’ve been better than he’d hoped to hear from Kakashi, but they couldn’t be genuine. Yamato knew what he’d accomplished and what he _didn’t._

“Tenzo…” Kakashi said, extending a hand toward Yamato but then pulling it back. “I thought you were dead. Of all the people I’ve ever lost, _you_ came back.”

“I’m not the only one,” Yamato said, catching Kakashi’s eye.

Kakashi’s eyes widened before he tucked his chin to his chest, averting from Yamato’s gaze. “That’s different. A lot...happened during the war.”

“Have you...forgiven him? For everything he did?”

“For some things,” Kakashi said, lifting his gaze to look at Yamato through the shadows of his lashes. “Letting me think he was dead. Trying to kill me. But...there are a lot of things I’m still working through. Of all the things he did, though, Tenzo, what he did to _you_ is the hardest to forgive. On the other hand, if he hadn’t turned around like he did, we wouldn’t be here together now.”

Yamato pursed his lips. Just the mention of his awful experience had him remembering pain and confusion and the sense of his chakra being sucked away from him. It was more Kabuto’s doing than Obito’s, but it didn’t make Yamato like Obito any more, even if he had redeemed himself in the end.

“You can lay the blame on me,” Kakashi said solemnly. “I’ll take accountability for all of Obito’s actions toward you. He was _my_ friend an–”

“What made Obito…” Yamato trailed off as his throat constricted, but he fought through the tightness to finish what he had to say. “What made him turn around and help _save_ the ninja world?”

Yamato had an aching suspicion it was Kakashi. Long-buried feelings between them, maybe. If Kakashi rekindled those feelings for him during the war, Yamato was afraid to hear it. But he had to know.

When Kakashi looked at him, it was with a warm light in his eyes. “Naruto.”

Yamato blinked. “Naruto?”

“Those two idiots are so like each other, it’s almost painful,” Kakashi said with a chuckle before the light in his eyes darkened. “But even Naruto almost wasn’t able to get through to him. It was almost too little, too late. Honestly...I can’t think of Obito the way I used to, Tenzo.”

Yamato sighed and dropped his gaze, expelling his relief in that single breath.

“But where the war may have confused my feelings toward Obito’s memory, it’s helped me find clarity with regard to my feelings for you.”

Yamato blinked up at him. “Huh?”

Kakashi sighed, pulling his chair right up against Yamato’s hospital bed. “I was prepared to die in battle. I guess I always am. But this time, knowing you were gone - or _thinking_ you were - I didn’t know where I would belong when the war ended.”

“Where you would belong…” Yamato whispered, his brows furrowing as Kakashi echoed the words of his Tsukuyomi counterpart.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is I know I belong with you, Tenzo,” Kakashi said with pinched brows and a flush on his cheeks, awkwardly reaching for Yamato’s hand resting on his chest, “if you’ll have m–”

When warmth touched his hand, Yamato flinched from the contact. Kakashi’s calloused fingers wrapping around his seemed to burn his skin, to trap him, to alarm him for reasons that didn’t make sense to him. This was what he _wanted._ He didn’t want to recoil from Kakashi’s touch or his advances.

Yamato gasped and shot a desperate glance at the hurt look in Kakashi’s eyes. “I-I’m sorry! I don’t know why-I mean, I want–”

Kakashi’s brows bowed before he settled his weight back into his chair and folded both hands over his abdomen. He didn’t look as scorned as Yamato thought he should feel. He looked sympathetic. Compassionate.

“It’s okay,” he said with a smile in his eyes. “I understand. I’ll just sit here with you, if you don’t mind that.”

Yamato’s lips slowly parted. His jaw dropped. Kakashi’s words were too incomprehensible for him to react. Kakashi wouldn’t leave him? Yamato side-eyed Kakashi, suspecting a lie in those words, but Kakashi looked anchored, unwilling to move as his soft gaze lingered on Yamato’s face.

Yamato settled back into bed, still suspicious and ready to flinch as if an attack might come his way or Kakashi might leave him once he grew bored with Yamato’s inexplicable aversion to Kakashi’s touch. 

But Kakashi remained. 

As the next hour passed and Yamato’s eyes grew heavy with the rising tide of sleep washing over him, Kakashi just sat in that chair. He didn’t once pull out that book he loved so much. His breathing was steady, his shoulders slowly rising and falling in sync with the beeping monitors at Yamato’s other side. When Yamato chanced occasional glances Kakashi’s way, Kakashi would look at him with a question in his eyes. But he never said anything. He didn’t ask for anything. He didn’t move.

It was a comfort Yamato didn’t know he needed. The soft sheets and fluffy pillow pulled him in, finishing off what Kakashi started, lulling him into a much-needed rest.

* * *

Yamato felt a world of a difference when he awoke. 

He was strong and awake, not feeling the tired drain he’d been waking up to ever since coming out of Tsukuyomi. When he breathed in fresh morning air, he looked to his left to find the chair at his side still occupied.

Kakashi’s head was tilted back, his silver spikes of hair hiding his eyes. His arms were draped loosely in his lap, his legs spread across the width of the chair. His chest rose and fell with the soft sounds of his breathing.

Yamato seized the quiet moment to appreciate his lover. Kakashi had actually stayed overnight in an uncomfortable chair to keep Yamato company. He was sure Kakashi didn’t know what to expect from him - and maybe he didn’t expect anything. But he was here for Yamato. He’d claimed he wanted to be with Yamato. Maybe the war really had changed Kakashi. Maybe it was the thought of losing him, or finding closure with Obito, or seeing his students succeed and grow. Yamato never knew Kakashi to be so open with his feelings. Yamato had never found it so difficult to be open with _his_ feelings as he did now.

“Good morning,” Kakashi said before opening one eye and peeking at Yamato through the parting of his silver wisps of hair.

Yamato smiled. “Kakashi. You’re still...”

Kakashi sat up with a groan, stretching his neck. “Well, I wasn’t going to leave. Not until I had an answer at least.”

“An answer,” Yamato mimicked, feeling anxiety well up in him as he recalled his whirlwind of emotions. He sighed and held Kakashi’s gaze. “Did you really mean it - what you said?”

Kakashi cast him a withering glare. “I may not be fair all the time, but I would never say _that,_ Tenzo, unless I meant every wor–”

“Then yes,” Yamato said, clutching the sheets to ground himself after absorbing the rapidity of his own response. “Yes. I’ll have you...if you don’t mind taking me just as I am.”

“That’s not fair,” Kakashi said before he tilted his head and a spark of mischief lit his eyes. “Everyone knows you take better care of me than I ever take care of you.”

“I don’t know,” Yamato drawled, slanting a smile Kakashi’s way, “you seem to be doing a pretty good job.”

“You think so?”

Yamato sighed. “Take me home, Senpai?”

Kakashi gave a soft nod. “Gladly.”

* * *

The familiar walls of this apartment he inherited after the Hidden Leaf’s rebuilding were a welcome sight for Yamato’s sore eyes. Once inside with Kakashi at his back, lending him the support he needed if his knees felt weak again or his chakra crashed, Yamato was happy to kick off his sandals. He took in every detail of his sparse apartment as Kakashi sloughed off his sandals beside Yamato’s. His tea kettle still lingered on the stove. His table remained bare, his chairs freshly molded from his jutsu and smelling of pine. His bed was made just as he’d left it when setting off on the mission to the Hidden Cloud when the war began. Fresh tears pricked at his eyes when the bitter realization set in that he may have never seen this place again. He'd come so close to never again being by Kakashi’s side.

“Are you okay?”

Yamato turned his gaze to Kakashi, not surprised to find the concern written in his eyes. “Yeah.”

Kakashi slipped his hands into his pockets and stepped bare feet deeper into Yamato’s apartment. “It’s strange, isn’t it? Thinking you should be dead.”

Yamato took a deep breath as he watched Kakashi’s gaze wander around his apartment. Kakashi understood without Yamato having to say anything. He’d been there. He probably was right there with Yamato now, based on the few details Yamato knew of what events unfolded during the war. When Kakashi blinked and turned his focus to Yamato, Yamato’s only answer was to hum his agreement and nod. It was strange to be back here. It was even more strange to be with Kakashi like this, knowing Kakashi had no intention of running this time.

Yamato felt dryness scratching at his throat and swallowed. “Would you like some tea?”

Kakashi shrugged. “Sure.”

Yamato darted to the sink, relieved to have something to do. Keeping his hands busy as he filled the kettle and searched for tea kept his mind off of more pressing issues, like what exactly he and Kakashi were supposed to do next. It was silly, feeling like he didn’t know where they stood when they’d just made declarations to each other, clearer than ever before. But part of him couldn’t believe it. As he listened to the kettle’s shrill whistle, he expected to awaken from the Infinite Tsukuyomi again to find out Kakashi never felt this way about him at all.

“Yamato,” Kakashi called from the opposite end of the kitchen, close enough to surprise Yamato but further away than Yamato wanted him. Fortunately, he was moving nearer. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Yamato poured steaming water into their teacups as he felt Kakashi drift into the space at his back, a gentle but enclosing force. Yamato’s hands trembled as he set the kettle aside. There was no way Kakashi didn’t notice the rattle he caused. Heat radiated at Yamato’s back as Kakashi’s weight pressed against him, his hand covering Yamato’s to still his trembling fingers.

“Hey,” Kakashi whispered.

“Kakashi,” Yamato said as he turned into a waiting embrace.

Kakashi’s arms wrapped around him, tight and assuring. The warmth of his chest _pressed_ against Yamato, squeezing him into a comfort that wasn’t going anywhere. Yamato knitted his brows as he breathed in Kakashi’s scent tainted with fresh air, dog, and laundry detergent, but underneath all of that, there was _Kakashi._ It was a smell Yamato missed which instantly grounded him. The trembling subsided as he squeezed his arms around Kakashi’s back and pressed his cheek into Kakashi’s shoulder. Kakashi released one arm from the hug and Yamato almost protested, until he felt the slip of the mask coming down against his face. In its place, a soft, moist kiss pressed against Yamato’s cheek. 

Yamato felt tears prick at his eyes. “Is this real?”

Kakashi withdrew to cup his hands firmly on either side of Yamato’s face as he met his eyes with insistence in his gaze. “I’m real, Tenzo. You’re real. I'm not backing down from this this time, sorry.”

Yamato laughed. “Sorry?”

Kakashi’s eyes creased at the corners. “You’re stuck with me.” He held Yamato’s gaze for a long moment before turning his eyes to the counter. “Tea’s getting cold.”

“Ah.” Yamato unwrapped himself from Kakashi’s embrace and reached for one of the teacups, passing it to Kakashi. “Here.”

Kakashi accepted, cradling the cup in his gloved palms. “Sit with me?”

Yamato took his cup and sat down at his table. It felt so foreign to him, just sitting and sharing a cup of tea. Usually, jonin didn’t have time to sit around - especially following a war. Yamato furrowed his brows as he watched Kakashi sip his tea. A ninja just about to become hokage _definitely_ didn’t have time to sit around like this.

Yamato took a quick sip from his tea, felt the burn and appreciated the herbal flavor, and then set it back on the table. “Shouldn’t you have somewhere to be right about now?”

Kakashi raised a brow. “Trying to get rid of me already?”

Yamato rubbed his chin to hide the nervous laughter playing around the edges of his lips. “Yeah. No! I mean, doesn’t Lady Tsunade have paperwork for you to fill out? Don’t you have meetings to attend?”

Kakashi shrugged and took another sip from his tea. “Maybe. But they can wait.”

Yamato sighed. “Kakashi. You won’t be able to do this once you’re hokage.”

“Which is why I’m taking full advantage now, Tenz _o,”_ Kakashi said, smiling over the rim of his teacup. “I have no intention of leaving here until I know you’re relaxed.”

“Thank you, but that isn’t necessary.”

“It is,” Kakashi said firmly, setting down his teacup and pinning Yamato with a glare across the table. “I’ve been left alone far too many times to think it’s fine to leave you now.”

Yamato sighed. He couldn’t argue with Kakashi, but he knew he was fine. So maybe solitude and isolation made him uneasy now, but that would wear off. Maybe the sight of snakes was far less pleasing to him than it once was. But other shinobi had been through worse. The childhood trauma Kakashi was referring to had been far worse than a grown man recovering from a captivity which had mostly involved a total lack of awareness and was thankfully a blank void.

But when he looked at Kakashi to tell him as much, the resolve he found in Kakashi’s eyes was impossible to fight. And it wore him down. He didn’t _want_ to fight it. Kakashi was here for him, proving he never wanted to leave Yamato’s side again.

In spite of himself, Yamato cracked a smile. “Just until you finish your tea. I don’t want to face Lady Tsunade’s wrath when her successor isn’t ready on time and it’s my fault.”

“Good,” Kakashi said, tilting his teacup toward Yamato to expose the tea-washed bottom of his cup. “Because I’m ready for my second cup.”

Yamato groaned and rose to retrieve the kettle. He hadn’t intended an invitation for Kakashi to stay longer, but his groan was only half-hearted. Yamato was sure by the time Kakashi finished his second cup, he _would_ feel relaxed. 

He was getting there already.


	19. With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE: I am posting two chapters together today because I wanted these points of the story to be kept separate and distinct, but I have had this ending written for over a week now and was sitting on it just because I was stuck on the wording of ONE PARAGRAPH. I can’t wait to share the whole thing any longer. So there is one more chapter already available to follow after this one. There will not be any more updates of this fic, folks. We have reached the end! 🙌🏻

Yamato was  _ very _ relaxed.

By the time the sun in his window was disappearing behind the horizon, he felt dizzy. The wave of fresh air that came in from the  _ opening _ of that window only enhanced his dizziness. He giggled at the sound of footsteps sweeping toward him from that direction. He draped himself over the table he’d been sitting at for the past hour before a warm palm touched his shoulder.

“Tenzo!” Kakashi said. “Are you okay?”

Yamato swatted his hand away and grunted. “Would you stop asking me that? I’m fine.” He grinned to himself. “I’m  _ great.” _

_ So _ great. 

The afternoon tea had calmed him before Kakashi left, but within an hour, he’d felt himself slowly unraveling. When it reached the point where Yamato couldn’t stand to be alone, but hadn’t wanted anyone to see him like this, he’d found a bottle of sake. It tasted delicious, warmed his blood, eased his mind, and made all of his other worries disappear. He went through the fumbling motions of pouring again from the carafe into his tiny porcelain cup. When a single drop splashed to the bottom of his cup, he felt his lips turn down at the corners. Empty.

“You’re drunk,” Kakashi said.

“No! Not drunk,” Yamato said stubbornly. “I know how to hold my liquor, senpaiiii.”

Kakashi sunk into the chair beside him and scoffed. “Will you drop the senpai already? You’re my boyfriend.”

Yamato shot him a sly grin. “Don’t tell me it doesn’t turn you on.”

To his surprise, Kakashi’s face above his mask turned a bright shade of red, and he sputtered words that were incomprehensible to Yamato’s mellow brain...or maybe he’d rendered Kakashi  _ that _ incapable of speech. Yamato chuckled. He couldn’t recall ever seeing Kakashi at a loss for words. But wow. Embarrassment looked good on him.

Yamato leaned closer. “You look  _ really _ good, Kakashi.”

Kakashi furrowed his silver brows. “Are you sure you’re okay? I’ve only been gone for a few hours. You literally saw me earlier today.”

Yamato shook his head. “Not like this. I like getting you flustered. Dammit,” he hissed as an idea struck him, tempting and now that he’d thought about it, impossible to forget. “I want to ride your cock.”

Kakashi choked. “Tenzo!”

Yamato closed in on Kakashi, dragging his mask down with a fingertip before catching his lips in a sloppy kiss. “What do you say? Want my ass?”

When he slid his hand beneath the jonin vest hiding those perfectly sculpted abs he knew so well, his wrist was caught in a solid grip before he could feel skin. Kakashi’s fingers tightened as Yamato met Kakashi’s dark eyes to find fear surfacing in them.

“I don’t know if you want this, Tenzo,” Kakashi said with a sharp shake of his head as Yamato dropped his wrist to his side and Kakashi’s grip finally loosened. “I’m not…”

“Not what?” Yamato said with a wry grin. “Don’t tell me you’re pulling that  _ trash _ thing again. You’re a two-time war hero now. You’re about to become hokage. Hell, if anyone’s scum, it’s–”

Kakashi’s palm pressed over Yamato’s mouth. “Don’t. I wasn’t going to say that. Dammit, Tenzo. I almost  _ lost _ you. Don’t you understand what it means to me to have you here?”

Yamato blinked. That wasn’t a no. It was as good as  _ encouragement _ to proceed as Kakashi let his hand fall away and held Yamato’s gaze with affection in his eyes. Of course Yamato didn’t think of  _ himself _ as scum. He was just trying to make a point. Maybe not in the best way, given that he was speaking to Kakashi, but his point seemed taken and now there was no reason Yamato couldn’t get fucked.

Grinning widely, Yamato leaned into Kakashi’s lips. “So have me.”

He pressed his lips against Kakashi’s, inhaling deeply as Kakashi moaned and writhed as if trying to get away. But Yamato could be persistent when he needed. He slid from his chair to Kakashi’s. He stuck his tongue down Kakashi’s throat while settling into his lap. Kakashi’s hands gripped around his thighs as Kakashi tipped his head back, giving Yamato deeper access to that delicious, wet hot mouth. Yamato grinded down on him and moaned when he felt a nice hard bulge between his legs.

He nipped at Kakashi’s lips and panted as he grinded down on him again, building a rhythm and feeling himself harden. It felt like it had been so long. Yamato knew he needed to exercise some patience, though, or this was going to hurt. Or maybe the alcohol would take the edge off the pain and he could deal with the consequences in the morning.

When Kakashi finally reciprocated, thrusting his hips up to meet Yamato’s ass with that rock hard bulge, Yamato groaned and felt his eyes roll back. A tight coil of want springloaded inside him. He shot out of that chair dragging Kakashi with him, intent on getting their clothes off as fast as possible.

Kakashi captured his lips in another kiss as they moved toward the bed together, taking off jonin vests and working at the fastening of each other’s pants until there was nothing but loose material around their hips. Kakashi kicked his pants off first as he dove backwards into the bed. Yamato struggled out of his, an awkward mess of heated desire needing somewhere to burn. He ripped his shirt off with equal fervor. And when he threw himself over Kakashi, naked and hungry for those lips, Kakashi chuckled into their kiss.

“What’s gotten into you?” he said as he  _ rudely _ broke their kiss.

“Nothing yet,” Yamato said.

He slipped his hand between them to stroke the silky skin of Kakashi’s beautifully hard cock. He pressed his lips to Kakashi’s neck, pulling a gasp from him as he sucked on the sweet, soft skin. 

But as Kakashi moved, the material of his mask also moved, bunching around his neck, getting in Yamato’s way. Yamato dragged his thumb over Kakashi’s tip before digging beneath the hem of his attached shirt, the final piece of clothing bound to go.

“Umm, Tenzo…” Kakashi said, wiggling away as Yamato started lifting.

“What?” Yamato said absently, intent on finding sculpted abs and pecs to add visual fuel to his burning desire.

When Yamato peeled Kakashi’s shirt overhead, it wasn’t without resistance, but Yamato knew if Kakashi  _ really _ didn’t want his shirt off, he wouldn’t have let it happen. Yet when the pale canvas of skin was revealed to Yamato’s eyes, Yamato found the cause for Kakashi’s hesitation. Angry red scars crossed Kakashi’s torso, nearly drawing a perfect X. Kakashi turned his head, his eyes downcast toward the pillow and unwilling to meet Yamato’s gaze. Kakashi had never been ashamed of scars before. There was only one reason Yamato could think of to explain why these were significant.

“Obito did this?”

Kakashi slowly turned his saddened gaze to Yamato. “I came back from this one with a few scars.”

“Hey,” Yamato said, reaching out to stroke Kakashi’s cheek, “so did I.”

There wasn’t a mark on his body, as there never had been, but he and Kakashi both knew that wasn’t what he meant. The scars that  _ didn’t _ show left the deepest marks of all. Yamato leaned down to press a deliberate kiss on Kakashi’s angry pink scar. He licked a trail down the length of the line he’d chosen, giving worship to this new part of Kakashi. And then he looked into Kakashi’s eyes - Kakashi’s  _ matching _ eyes, both truly his now.

“Besides,” he said with a fond smile, “I think at least one of these scars can be considered an improvement. Honestly, looking into Obito’s eye while making love with you, that would be pretty difficult...after what’s happened.”

“Making love,” Kakashi said, his face unreadable as he grabbed Yamato’s hips. “Is that what we’re doing?”

Yamato chuckled as heat rushed to his face. He and Kakashi both knew he had nothing  _ loving _ in mind when he started jumping Kakashi at the kitchen table. But it made his heart throb at the realization that Kakashi wasn’t cringing away from his choice of words. He seemed willing to embrace it. As Yamato looked into Kakashi’s eyes again, he became sure of it.

“Yeah,” he said softly as he drifted across Kakashi, leaning for the bedside drawer and giving him a kiss in passing. “That’s what we’re doing.”

He felt Kakashi shiver beneath him, his cock pulsing against Yamato’s thigh. Yamato popped open the bottle of lube and coated his fingers. When he slid down and slicked Kakashi’s cock, Kakashi’s whole body shuddered. Kakashi exhaled long and slow as he looked down the line of his body into Yamato’s eyes.

“Hmmm,” Kakashi hummed, “I want to watch you work yourself open.”

Yamato smiled, feeling a sudden shyness pass over him as Kakashi watched intently, even though he’d been planning to do this anyway. He held Kakashi’s gaze as he straddled his hips, then reached back and found his puckered hole with the cold touch of his lubed fingers.

“That’s it,” Kakashi whispered as Yamato hissed at the chill, “I love watching your expressions.”

“Oh God,” Yamato said with a roll of his eyes.

He sank the first finger inside, imagining how much better it would feel when it was Kakashi’s thick cock. He pumped a second finger in with a shuddering breath, acutely aware of Kakashi watching his every move as his fingers stroked along his walls, stretching and making his body tingle. Kakashi felt along Yamato’s thighs with artful hands while he worked, giving worship to every curve and shudder of his muscles. The more Yamato stroked his inner walls and felt Kakashi’s touch, the more he lost his patience. He wanted more. His third finger finally was  _ something, _ something close to what he wanted as the stretch filled and pressed against him like he needed, but it was rough in comparison to the velvety texture of Kakashi’s cock currently flat against his abdomen, lubed and flushed pink, veiny and waiting for him. 

Kakashi surged forward, sitting upright and sliding those hands up Yamato’s sides, drawing him into a kiss that would have taken his balance in this twisted position had Kakashi not stabilized him with strong hands.

Yamato removed his fingers and fell into the kiss willingly. He couldn’t complain about Kakashi being so desperate to kiss him, or about how soft and delicious Kakashi’s lips felt against his. And when Kakashi lifted Yamato with those hands at his sides, Yamato felt a surge of appreciation for Kakashi’s sudden action. He wasn’t going to make Yamato wait.

Yamato grabbed Kakashi’s cock and guided it to his aching hole. He sank down into the blunt pressure with a moan. That first stretch was intoxicating enough, but when Kakashi penetrated him fully, sliding in all the way as Yamato sank his hips down and squeezed his thighs around Kakashi’s waist, Yamato gasped at the burn and then the pleasure of it. To have Kakashi so deep inside him, to be connected to him like this, it was perfect. 

And when Kakashi moved - when he pulled his hips back just slightly and thrusted in hard and fast, it actually took Yamato’s breath away. But he was on top. He was in control. He wanted to  _ ride _ Kakashi and show him just how much he loved him. 

He barred his arms around either side of Kakashi’s head, bracing his weight before rolling his hips forward and up, then back down with a snap. Kakashi gasped, his fingers digging into Yamato’s hips before Yamato did it again and watched the way Kakashi writhed in the sheets as if trapped by this. Kakashi looked achingly beautiful beneath him.

But then pleasure and emotion enveloped Yamato and he didn’t know  _ what _ he was doing. He chased the feeling any way he could, leaning his heart closer to Kakashi’s, sinking his hips, feeling the moist strokes of his cock squeezed between their sweat-slicked skins. He almost couldn’t breathe, working so hard to actively chase sensations, suffocated by Kakashi’s fond gaze and loving caresses, until Kakashi sat up. He took Yamato with him on the upswing, repositioning him into a straddle in Kakashi’s lap.

It was Kakashi now who was seized by pleasure and emotion, panting, thrusting with urgency up into Yamato with a pounding force that made white flashes appear before Yamato’s eyes.

“Shit,” Kakashi gasped, “you’re holding me so  _ tight.” _

“Kakashhh,” Yamato hissed, clenching his eyes shut at the combined sensations of Kakashi pounding his prostate and stroking his cock with tense abs.

“T–” Kakashi choked before a surge of heat filled Yamato.

The pulsing pressure of Kakashi’s orgasm topped off the already-overwhelming stretch of Kakashi’s cock inside him. Yamato bore down, clenching his teeth as his body seized with the force of his orgasm immediately following. It came out of him in waves, shooting between them, the effort reducing Yamato to a panting, breathless mess. Kakashi held him and rocked them as they came down together, their breaths quieting over the course of minutes until Yamato could once again hear past the ringing in his ears.

Kakashi buried his face in Yamato’s shoulder. “I love you, Tenzo.” 

Kakashi’s murmur against his skin made Yamato come back down to earth, wondering if he’d really heard those words. They echoed in his mind, repeating with different stresses on the syllables and different tones to Kakashi’s voice until Yamato felt the rumble of Kakashi’s speech again.

“I love you,” he repeated softly.

This time, it was undeniable. There was no deception, no Tsukuyomi, no hidden truth beneath those words. They were as straightforward as they came, and Yamato embraced them.

“I love you, too,” he said before pressing his lips against Kakashi’s cheek, “more than anything.”

He had Kakashi’s love.

It  _ was _ more than anything. It was  _ better _ than anything. Nothing else mattered - not the war, not Kabuto or Obito, not Orochimaru’s claim to him as an experimental creation, not being used as a tool against his allies, not even his duty as a ninja. All of it became meaningless and trivial in the face of one simple confession that had taken years to earn.

He was right where he belonged, and this time, it  _ was _ real.


	20. Where I Belong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE NOTE: today’s update starts with chapter 19. If you’re jumping to the latest after seeing the update and ended up here, please go back and read 19 first. It was also posted today. 
> 
> Again, a huge thanks to adolescentlycan for not only helping me work through these ending lines, but their overall work of beta reading about...half of this fic, I’d say. It’s been a great experience writing this and sharing it with you all, and I especially appreciate those of you who left feedback religiously. You spurred me forward at the moments I might’ve had doubts or waning inspiration.

It felt good to put the uniform back on, to know he was once again going to serve the village.

As Yamato walked through the street with happuri and jonin blues back in place, he wondered why he hadn’t been faster to return to active duty. It could be dangerous, it could bring him new pain or reopen old wounds, but it was what he did and without it, he’d been missing a part of himself.

“Hey, Captain Yamato! Captain Yamato!”

Yamato would know that hyper call anywhere. He stopped with a fist propped on his hip, allowing Naruto to catch up to him.

“Captain Yamato!” Naruto said one last time as he rounded on Yamato with an ear-splitting grin and two hands on his hips. “I haven’t seen  _ you _ out and about in awhile, ya know.”

Yamato smiled whole-heartedly. “Well, you’ve been very busy.”

“Yeah,” Naruto chuckled, placing his new bandaged hand behind his head. “I guess I’m kinda popular now, huh?”

Yamato nodded toward the hand. “I see Lady Tsunade pulled through for you.”

“Huh?” Naruto’s eyes lifted toward his blonde hair. “Oh yeah, the hand! Of course! Old Granny Tsunade’s the best! And how about you?” Naruto cocked his head. “Kakashi-sensei’s been telling me every day all about how you’re getting better while he’s takin’ care of you, ya know.”

“Oh, has he?” 

“Yeah.” Naruto nodded firmly. “Ya know what would be a good idea? You should take Kakashi-sensei out to Ichiraku Ramen tonight to thank him.”

Yamato rolled his eyes. “Naruto, haven’t you had  _ enough _ people take you out to celebrate what you’ve accomplished?”

“No, I mean,” Naruto’s eyes brightened and became distant as he licked his lips, “yeah, that sounds good. But no! I mean just the two of you should go.”

Yamato raised a brow. “You want me to take Kakashi to Ichiraku  _ without _ you?”

Naruto winced. “Well, maybe just this one time, ya know.”

“I’ll...think about it,” Yamato drawled.

“Good!” 

As Naruto turned away with a cheeky smile and a wave, Yamato furrowed his brows and racked his brain over  _ that _ strange encounter. Yamato had plans to eat  _ in _ with Kakashi tonight, otherwise Yamato would absolutely think Kakashi had put Naruto up to this. But if it wasn’t Kakashi...maybe Naruto noticed the interactions between himself and Kakashi becoming more regular and intimate. Yamato chuckled at realizing what Naruto was attempting as he approached the Hokage Tower. 

He was ready.

* * *

Yamato found Kakashi hidden behind mountains of papers. 

He wasn’t sure if the exhaustion written on that handsome face could be attributed to the endless paperwork, the constant need for Kakashi’s availability, or the business of sitting behind a desk for the next few years. Kakashi hadn’t even noticed Yamato’s arrival. Or maybe he was too busy with his thoughts to acknowledge him. Feeling some pity for his overworked new hokage, Yamato leaned over a pile of papers to offer him a kiss.

Kakashi tilted his head up from his writing just in time to catch Yamato’s lips with a tug of his mask. “Hey.”

His eyes brightened, wide and clear, a beautiful sight Yamato had yet to get used to. The way Kakashi’s eyes softened as they wandered down Yamato’s uniform and back up to meet his eyes made Yamato smile. Kakashi’s shoulders may have acquired a new burden as the head of the village, but they looked considerably alleviated from where Yamato stood.

“Lord Kakashi,” Yamato said.

Kakashi shuddered. “Don’t,” he said. “You need to  _ stop doing that.” _

Yamato chuckled. “What can I do for you?”

He’d received a summons from ANBU operatives at the behest of his hokage. This was his first time seeing Kakashi in an  _ official _ capacity since his induction as Lord Sixth, though they’d spent time together unofficially these past few days on the rare occasions when they could avoid interruptions.

Kakashi bridged his hands beneath his chin and leaned forward. “Well...I hate to ask this of you, but like it or not, you  _ are _ one of the Leaf’s best trackers...and the person I trust most not to let anything slip past your notice in this regard.”

Unsure where this was heading, Yamato knitted his brows. “I will be happy to do whatever my hokage requires of me.”

Kakashi scoffed and lounged back in his desk chair. “Now you’re just  _ trying _ to bait me.”

Yamato huffed a laugh as his face flushed. “I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean–”

Kakashi waved him off and sighed. “It’s fine. Well anyway...I’m sure you’re aware, Yamato, that Sasuke Uchiha and Orochimaru have  _ both _ been pardoned due to their actions in the war. And while I’m sure Sasuke has resolved his grievances with the Hidden Leaf, Orochimaru…”

“Might fall back on his old ways,” Yamato said.

Yamato’s jaw tensed at the remembrances of what Orochimaru had done to him as well as to the Hidden Leaf - on a whim. Yamato didn’t like knowing he was out there, running free, potentially gathering new followers to execute new destructive plans if he were to get bored with his peaceful turn in life.

“Right,” Kakashi sighed, meeting Yamato’s gaze with chagrin. “Which is why the Leaf needs someone...who can keep an eye on Orochimaru. Not any close surveillance - we want him to feel he has our trust. This mission requires someone who can survey him from a distance.”

Yamato raised a brow as the dots connected. “Kakashi - Lord Sixth. You know my history with Oroch–”

“I know,” Kakashi said with a steady hold of Yamato’s gaze. “Forget it. I shouldn’t have asked. I’ll find someone else.”

“Who?”

“I don’t know,” Kakashi drawled as he lazily waved his hand. “Shikamaru makes a good shadow, I suppose...”

“Kakashi.” Yamato huffed before realization struck him. “Wait.”

His eyes grew narrow the more he thought about this realization. Kakashi claimed he shouldn’t have asked, but Yamato knew he  _ wouldn’t _ have asked - unless there was something more underlying here. Kakashi had been making  _ annoyingly _ painstaking efforts to see to Yamato’s well-being ever since the conclusion of the war. To say Kakashi’s sudden thrusting of Yamato into a shadowing mission involving this particular Sannin was out of character for Kakashi would be an understatement. It was annoying, but it wasn’t something that could be taken at face value. On top of that, Kakashi had just offered him a lazy alternative that wasn’t even plausible. Shikamaru was doing invaluable work here as Kakashi’s assistant along with Shizune. Yamato knew Kakashi had no intention of letting him leave the office to track Orochimaru.

Kakashi blinked at him, all innocent eyes behind lying hidden teeth. “Yes?”

“That’s not the reason you want me on this mission.”

“It’s not,” Kakashi gave in easily with a shrug before shooting Yamato a wink. “But that’s what I’ll put on paper.”

_ “What,” _ Yamato said with an irritated growl and twitching fingers, “are you doing, Kakashi?”

Kakashi hitched one sandaled heel on his desk, then crossed over it with the other. “You know whoever accepts this solo mission will be required to report  _ straight _ to the hokage in person should anything go awry with Orochimaru, at any time, or should he even suspect anything might be amiss with him.”

He shot Yamato a pointed look and Yamato snapped his teeth together, forfeiting his anger.

Kakashi laced gloved fingers together, looking incredibly smug for a man with half his face covered. “Even false alarms, even in the middle of the night. Any hour, any day, you come to me and all ANBU will know to dismiss themselves from my presence. This mission is a secret of the highest level, after all, Yamato.”

Yamato raised a brow. “Speaking of secrets of the highest level…”

Kakashi practically beamed at him. If he was a cat, he would’ve purred. Yamato cursed himself for wanting to pet him. He was being difficult as ever and Yamato couldn’t stop  _ wanting _ this complicated man.

Ignoring the pounding of his heart, Yamato continued. “Are we ever going to tell the team...about us?”

Kakashi’s brows shot to his hitai-ate. “Oh.”

It felt good to take Kakashi by surprise. Yamato grinned, but he wasn’t as cruel as Kakashi. He wouldn’t leave him in suspense thinking Yamato was  _ asking _ him to go public. Yamato liked what they had for now, just the two of them, without Sakura nosing in or Naruto asking a million questions or Sai asking inappropriate ones. Yamato was still getting to know Sasuke since his pardon, but he imagined rude observations from that one. None of those prospects were more appealing than what Yamato had now - a private life with Kakashi, like he’d always wanted and surprisingly had found at a time when Kakashi was in the most public eye.

“I don’t care either way,” Yamato said with a shrug, relaxing his posture as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Honestly, I’m happy with the way things are for now.”

“Then…” Kakashi said, rising from his chair and peering at Yamato as if this was a trap, “why not let them figure it out for themselves?”

“For themselves? Really?”

“It can be hmmm...like my mask,” Kakashi drawled, tracing his finger around the oiled wood edge of his desk as he circled around to the front of it. “We have nothing to hide. It’ll just be fun to see how long we can keep the mystery going.”

Yamato huffed. “Sakura might be one step ahead of that plan.”

Her comments at the hospital had hinted at her budding suspicion. Yamato wouldn’t be surprised if she’d figured it out just by watching the way he interacted with Kakashi after that first encounter following the war. They hadn’t exactly been subtle. Even if they had been, Sakura was sharp.

“I suspect you may be right,” Kakashi said, casting a wistful glance out his sunlit window. “She always has been the perceptive one. But if she’s figured it out, I’m sure she won’t tell the others. Just think. We can keep Naruto in the dark for  _ years.” _

Yamato smiled. “He’s trying to set us up, you know.”

Kakashi’s eyes creased as he smiled beneath his mask. “I know.”

Yamato laughed. “You’re terrible!”

When Kakashi’s eyes opened, paired with the warmth and admiration conveyed by his eyes, that hidden smile made Yamato’s heart skip a beat.

“That’s why you love me,” Kakashi said.

“Yeah.”  _ Among many other things. _ “I think it is.”

Yamato couldn’t deny the compulsion he felt in that moment to reach for Kakashi and close the gap between them. He didn’t care about impropriety with his hokage when the mask slipped away and their lips pressed together, first caressing and then parting to deepen their kiss. 

There had been a time when opening his heart to Kakashi had hurt, but those wounds had healed into scars that left Kakashi’s mark on him, just as  _ he _ would leave his marks of love and affection on Kakashi from here on out.

Kakashi may have been the hokage now, but he was still the same Kakashi Hatake that Yamato always wanted. He wasn’t in the same  _ place _ Yamato had left him when they went their separate ways, but in a better place. A place that allowed light and joy to filter in, and the darkness in his heart to siphon out.

When Yamato felt the warmth of a gloved hand brushing over his knuckles, he let his lips part slowly from Kakashi’s and turned his palm up to lock them together. What he found in Kakashi’s eyes was that which he saw every day - the evidence that his feelings were returned.


End file.
